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| The Sci-Fi Comic Strip This week: English speaking aliens. This week's Sevgate comic strip wonders why every planet the SEV1 team visit seem to speak English (while also living in the same North American pine forests breathing the same air as us). 
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| These comics are created from the winning entries of The Sci-Fi TV Cartoon Contest - the winning punchline is chosen in the weekly IRC Judging Session. This week's winning punchline was written by Space Katet. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions. Mark Reading
| Err.. I forget to turn the gate on this time. Were still on Earth. Petréa Mitchell
| Because we keep gating into Minnesota, sir. JTKirk
| They learn it to fool the tourists! Danielle
| I'd tell you, but I'd lose you in the archaeological technobabble John Fallon
| We blew our f/x budget on the sevgate. Griffin
| You use a big metal circle filled with blue celophane, and expect to get anywhere outside the United States? Griffin
| You have to dial eight to get out of the U.S.A. Griffin
| The amount of techno-bable needed to explain that would take an entire episode. Cordavin Lon
| 'Cause all we did was walk through a big, metal circle! Avenger CO
| Union rules. We can't hire from outside the planet. Braice
| Do you want the Technobabble or the straigh answer? Quiddity
| Beats me. I'm still wondering why we need an Egyptology expert anymore. MindMelda
| I makes it easier to fall in love with one of the natives! Pam3
| Where's a commercial break when you need one? Dial "M" for Maul
| Seven symbols doesn't get us very far... Sophie
| The undertitling would destroy your smart remarks. Kirk's Wig
| It's a plot hole deal with it chris 8472
| you know how hard it is to think of thousands of different languages Kris
| We had to cut the translation time to give you more lines. Kris
| I could explain, but I'd rather go look at artifacts. Kris
| I have enough to do translating Cam's technobabble. Tristan Briers
| How else would we overcome ridiculas odds every week? Londo Moelarry
| To go to non-English speaking planets you have to dial out with a different area code. Tanya
| Do you have to say that *every* time?! Tanya
| It took you three seasons to ask that? That's... worrying... Tanya
| Because then I'd have a purpose for being here. Standback
| Because the show is incomprehensible enough as it is. Londo Moelarry
| That's probably what THEY are wondering. WooHoo
| Do you speak Alien? No? Then keep your stupied questions to yourself?!! WooHoo
| When you find a sci-fi movie whitout a plothole, please informe me WooHoo
| Feel free to speak ancient Egiption, if it makes you feel better Terry
| Hey, I proved I was a linguist in the movie! WooHoo
| Plotgate failour Damas
| The Producers have to cater for the lowest common denominator, us. Scott McClenny
| It's worse than you think..I swear I went to high school with half the people we meet! Doggy Spew
| And what are those cameras doing there ? Doggy Spew
| And even weirder, when we are broadcast in Germany everyone speaks german! 5618 (David)
| They are soldiers that were lost on previous missions! Kehtani
| They discovered the sevgate before we did... Londo Moelarry
| We just teleported five thousand light-years by means of a trans-dimesional portal constructed entirely from STONE, and THAT'S what you can't figure out? Ann E. Nichols
| You're expecting ME to answer a sensible question? Calibur
| What use am I in the show if I can not be used to translate. Doggy Spew
| And why do they all have normal heads?Why is everything always the same?Why do I have this Job? One word: Plothole Atona
| Just ask them, they understand you sess-pity
| So despite all the languages I know and the smartass I am, I am totally useless. Briareos
| We don't try to explain your lack of acting skills so let's move on and forget you asked that Azhrarn
| Do you know what a universal translator would have cost!!!! Space Katet
| Cam - care to enlighten him again? Adam Barger
| Old Meal we don't pay you to think! Jamal Radar
| Then they should know the meaning of "don't touch anything" unlike some other people we know! Jamal Radar
| Hey, look! a McDonald's! Brandi Hansmeyer
| "They must have taken my class at the university: You, Too Can Speak To Any Culture That Steps Through the Stargate." It was a very popular course. Sophie
| We explained that in the general meeting! MindMelda
| Nobody likes reading subtitles, that's why! Dryad47
| Shh.. I don't want to lose my job Fulcrum
| That becuse the writers know that you are not smart enough to learn a new language every week. gurglesplat
| Did I say the gate was a wormhole? I meant plot-hole. Dave
| So i don't have to do much actual work! Jamal Radar
| Why do they all look human? Jamal Radar
| No, the question is why are they all talking like John Wayne? Mark
| We're home, silly! Mark
| That's just our fans. They like to get here first to greet us. Mark
| These gates also make great TV antennas. T-1000
| Okay, I confesse. I don't know how to work the StarGate. We're still on Earth Glorendil
| Why is it every planet we visit you ask the same stupid question? §Sean§
| If you want to call going "yaaaagghh!", english... 009
| Because if you learnt a second language it would destroy your tough-guy character hejira
| Ixnay on the ontinuitycay. Phiz
| Well, it's all very complicated, but it has to do with actually having an exciting adventure instead of a linguistics lecture. r0
| Do you have time to learn a new language every episode? OptimalOp
| Ignorance is bliss, Jack. Cheer up. Ann E. Nichols
| Because even I can't learn a new language in 45 minutes. Madness
| Probably cause you keep pressing the re-dial button everytime we go on a mission! Timothious Smith
| It is puzzling since the writers certainly don't speak it! Aubri
| When you start thinking like that, it's time to leave you behind.. nim
| Who cares, makes our life easy. The Honor's Blade Crew
| Because the show would be over real quick if they could not say watch out for that bomb and have you understand it. spiffy
| The Sevgate broadcasts Dallas reruns. Edmund Tiberious Stendall
| That's not English! It's Glurpish. Bronny
| Actually their speaking a totally different langauge that happens to sound exactly the same as english. Death_hammer
| Because when you were Mc.Guyver you made a universal translator for us from 4 sticks and chewing gum! Death_hammer
| The gold ring on our bald friend here works as a universal translator. Death_hammer
| They are actually speaking Eygipotfrench. Its only a conicedence that is sounds like english. Rob Jensen\
| Plot first. Continuity later. Michael Allen Barger
| Because French takes to long to learn. Ginamarie
| If they didn't, I would actually be useful, and not get us into trouble every week Mark
| Our presence has contaminated the universe! Chris
| I think the gate doubles as a really good TV tuner. Mark
| Its hard to find actors who speak ancient Egyption. Qui Gon Vin
| How else will we understand their warnings about the Goa'way Anubis
| Just 'cos I look like a geek, doesn't mean I have all the answers! spacegal88
| English is the primary language on Earth maybe its the same all over the universe. Kale
| Probably the same reason why at least one of us always gets abducted or almost killed on every new planet we visit. Paolo Chiapino
| Don't think about that. Just shoot them! 5618 (David)
| Otherwise the viewers wouldn't understand them Old'Meal! Glorendil
| They would need to know english to read the script, wouldn't they? Kris
| It would get boring if I had to translate everything. Jamie
| I don't know, but lets invite ourselves to their village and cause the Go'ld to destroy them. T'Rowa
| They don't. I'm just so damn good that I'm translating what they're saying instantly. Baldrick Lohocla
| I don't know, but I'm sure I'll be captured by the Gou'away and tortured for information so they can find out. If I'm luck, I might even get infested by a Gou'away larvae again, or even shot! BitterAndy
| More to the point, why aren't they worried by our guns? Cassandra Jackson
| Maybe because they came from Earth, Jack. Reidan
| Why are you asking me? You are the one with the Swiss Army Knife in your pocket that slices, dices, and acts as a Universal Translator! Sophie
| Never underestimate the power of the satelite dish. Norwegian Bajoran
| Maybe it's that Universal Translator you "MacGywered"? Plain Simple
| Y'call THIS English! C bemis
| Actually these guys are speaking hillbilly! ScottE Bemeup
| Two choices, dumb luck or dumb writers. Lavic
| Because you kept tripping over the subtitles. McKnzy746
| I believe it has to do with... Ahh why do you always ask me? I don't know EVERYTHING! Timm Benkula
| To make it easier for you to make smart-aleck remarks to them. McKnzy746
| Just shut-up and move backword to the Stargate. ScottE Bemeup
| You've missed the whole unified gate concept, haven't you. Joseph
| Maybe its a planet of the apes kinda thing. Blanchard
| Oh, for a commercial break! Blanchard
| Because we can only visit planets in the SEVpages directory. Dial "M" for Maul
| When you point a gun at someone, you'd beter believe they want to be clear and understandable! Blanchard
| Rules of space travel #53: Avoid plotholes at all costs. Dial "M" for Maul
| I think they've been getting those Publish Clearing House offers as well... §Sean§
| Let's really test them out. Lets see if they can say "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood" §Sean§
| Don't try to work it out. Just go "yaaaargghh" like always. sysifus
| No English - no screentime... they are fast learners... Sevanonymous
| Same reason the big guy over there has a hood ornanment jammed into his forehead. §Sean§
| I've kinda been thinking why I've still got this job too... Kaideb
| Probably because none of us speak alien 8 of 12
| I think we just took the Sevgate to Iowa. Jane Garland
| They don't. Maybe the toxic air is blurring your sence of reality. Dial "M" for Maul
| It's not English. It's a new universal language, "MTV". Dial "M" for Maul
| We send the script over. It helps smooth relations with new species. §Sean§
| I'm sorry but the answer will be too technical and you'll probably just go "Yaaagghhh!" again Dial "M" for Maul
| I think it wise to note we HAVEN'T LEFT EARTH YET! Dial "M" for Maul
| Because we haven't left yet! Robert J. McKenney
| What? You want subtitles covering your chiseled chin? Dial "M" for Maul
| I sent a few Western movies through the gate before we got here Joona Palaste
| Our training didn't include alien languages - or realism. Space Katet
| Shoot first, ask questions later. Corsair
| Next you'll be asking, "What's my motivation?". Corsair
| You actually BELIEVE you're on another planet? matty.b.
| que? por favoure? Kurt
| You'd prefer otherwise? Standback
| Night school can do wonders, sir. Standback
| They must have gotten hold of an Implausible Translator, sir. Kurt
| Body language it is such an imprecise science. Marieken Bielars
| They're just as unevolved as we are Mojo
| I don't know... why do they always look human? There are some things in life you can't explain... Transwarp
| The Dutch actors didn't arrive yet. joerg
| Hey, we are Marines fighting some egyptian aliens. And you are wondering linguistics? joerg
| They're not. WE speak Goa'uld. darkjedi
| This is TV sci-fi! Credability is too much for the buget! Mouse
| Our writers have no imagination? I mean, there's only so many ways you can disguise an american accent! Glorendil
| The thought never occured to me! What a deep philosifical question! Martyn Williams
| Well if my knowledge of ancient languages was helpful we'd lose character integrity. WiseGuy
| Because we didn't use the Same Writer from the Movie, DUH!!! Wolf
| Oh, its a side effect of the technobabble-particles, generated by the singularity of the Sevgate; Easy isn't it? Johnny Cool
| Actually They Speak Goulish which by coinsidence is the same as English Shlamko
| They wouldn't learn french. Ilanova
| Because teaching the actor foreign languages would take years. Powerlord
| There's a reason we call the Sevgate "Ol' Plothole" Powerlord
| It's a sophisticated polyhedronal matraboloidal firosgas, In other words, a plothole. The Great Wizzard
| You constructed something you call "Implausible Translator" from some pieces of scrap metal, a dead squirrel and Sam's left earring, MacGyver! spiffy
| Every Sevgate comes with a dictionary. Jaz'Hiaran
| You know as well as I do that the shows budget doesn't extend to making it believable. Brady McKenzie
| It's the default setting on any Goa'uld installation Shlamko
| It seems the sevgate is nothing more than a subway! The Great Wizzard
| Implausible translators. If it works on one show, it works everywhere
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