The Pits - Round 308


		The Pits - Round 308 Here are the best punchlines submitted in Round 308 of the Pits Cartoon Contest. This week's winning punchline was written by erik. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the Toon Zone competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchline of the Day Page.

Kirk's Wig		I thought you said we could smell the sea from here? Lance: You can, sniff up and you'll smell all the sewage that's pumped onto our floors...
Kirk's Wig		I know it said in the advert the room came with a view, but this is ridicilous
Kirk's Wig		Lance: Let the mud-wresling COMMENCE!
Trekmaster		If this is living, kill me.
Trekmaster		"Living", in this case, would be a relative term...
009		When you say "luck" you mean "bad" right?
aussietrekker		I think that we hit pay dirt here!
erik		I've never entered a flat through the garbage disposal before.
Nico		You have an odd definition of 'lucky'!
ScottE Bemeup		On the positive side, death by botulism will keep the stay short.
ScottE Bemeup		Unfortunately, luck comes in many flavors.
MindMelda		Funny, I always thought hell would be hotter.
Corsair		First things first, The Guys have to move out.
FCC		The floor doesn't look so flat to me.
FCC		Thank goodness my nose is congested.
Leander		How do we pay the rent, cleaning?
Nick		Is this a paintballing arena or just a tip?
FCC		Face it Lance: You're not half as stunning as this room.
FCC		Three little pigs! I guess I am living in a fairy tale.
FCC		Looks like you've got plenty of flatmates. Why don't you make the roaches pay rent?
Jack Hammerfist		What's the rent-- my soul?
Jack Hammerfist		After a life of sin perhaps.
Jack Hammerfist		Must be a "guy" definition of "lucky!"
Farnell		Minimalism, I like it.
Div		You said this place was solid, not squalid
Mosaic		Lucky or stupid?
P Swayne		Let me guess. Your last flatmate had 4 legs and a snout!
P Swayne		Let me guess. Your last flatmate was Salvador Dali!
Lordy		Some of these stains are older than I am!
Trekmaster		The only time I'll be "lucky to be living" is when I leave...
Nick "Naraht" Frame		I've heard of Fixer-Upers, but this is rediculous...
Nick "Naraht" Frame		Dorothy, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore...
Nick "Naraht" Frame		And how much will you be paying for this?
Jay Berryhill		This puts the 'fun' into dysfunctional
jTap		I get it... we're supposed to like the challenge.
MindMelda		Are the roaches free, or will there be an extra charge?
MindMelda		I just decided to move back in with Mother.
Mark		This isn't living. Its working!
Mark		I'm lucky I'm unlucky!
Mark		I'll stay if you all move out.
Mark		I need a bath just standing here.
Mark		So, the rumors were true!
Mark		You'll have to pay me not to report you to the authorities!
Mark		Be still my lucky heart.
Mark		Its perfect!... Perfectly retched that is.
Mark		Out of morbid curiosity, show me the bathroom.
Mark		Fortunately, I'm naturally unlucky.
Mark		Ha, ha ha! Now, where's the real flat?
Mark		I think something died in here... Yep, my interest.
Michael Lewis		"Lush Greenery" doesn't mean this!
Michael Lewis		I will not pay to be your maid!
Michael Lewis		The rest of us will die from something.
TEFII		After WWIII maybe.
P-feif		You want a room mate or a maid?
Nodrog_CRC		Well, if you count BAD luck is a type of luck...
Nodrog_CRC		Little hint: Humor isn't the turn-on we claim it is.
sherwell		I see you go for the abstract post-modern look
tom patterson		It looks like a garbage truck threw up in here!
John Fassbender		How much would you pay me to live here?
Lordy		I've seen dumpsters cleaner than this!
Ann E. Nichols		All that's going to be living in this sty is a super colony of microbes!
meggy eel		'Living' or 'squatting'?
The Great Wizzard		The explains the "Biohazard" sign next to the ad
The Great Wizzard		If you wanted a cleaning lady, you should have said in the ad
The Great Wizzard		I wonder how you'd define "unlucky"
Haesan		I'd take a look around, but I'm not sure that I could find my way back to the known world
Jim McNamara		Interesting decorum you've got here.
Jim McNamara		Nobody told me it was opposite day.
Nick "Naraht" Frame		I thought that this was the Ritz, not The Pits...
T'Bonz		Hate to tell you bud, but someone trashed your place.
T'Bonz		Cleaning, yes. Lucky, no.
T'Bonz		If that's lucky, don't even want to know what unlucky is!
Jack Hammerfist		We'd only be lucky if we got out of here uninfected!
Jack Hammerfist		Lucky I didn't sign anything, that is!
Jack Hammerfist		Funny, I don't FEEL lucky!
Jack Hammerfist		Must have been that mirror I broke.
Jack Hammerfist		Is this what you meant by "no cleaning required?"
Brian		If this was in living color, I think I'd be sick!
Brian		It smells like some unlucky guy died here!
8 of 12		Nice to see you've tidied up the place for us
8 of 12		Define 'lucky'
8 of 12		Don't you mean 'we'll be lucky to be living'?
8 of 12		This must be a concept of 'lucky' I'm not familiar with
8 of 12		Well I must admit, I AM stunned.
8 of 12		Is this the kind of stunning views you meant?
JC		Here's hoping my luck has run out.

Round 307 Round 309

The Sev Wide Web and all content within are © Copyright 2000 by John Cook.
None of my material can be used on any other site without prior permission from the author.
However, feel free to link to my site from yours.