Twist - Round 259


		Twist - Round 259
Here are the best punchlines of Round 259 of the Twist Cartoon Competition. The winning punchline was written by erik. Read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all Toon Zone competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchline of the Day Page.
Sinkau Baylan		None of Ian's opponents were surprised to hear that Ian was a former podiatrist.
Sinkau Baylan		All his opponents were envious until they found out about the fortune he paid in shoes and health insurance.
Sinkau Baylan		The plastic surgery industry is booming due to this champion swimmer's success.
Dave the Explosive Newt		Unfortunately, Ian's bicycle pump was discovered the next day.
Sinkau Baylan		It wasn't the fear of defeat or death by splashing that killed Ian's opponents; it was the stench in the locker room.
Mark		After failing in the high jump, Ian found his true calling.
Sinkau Baylan		Ian would have been the most successful swimmer in Olympic history, but he was soon deemed a safety hazard.
Sinkau Baylan		All the other teams laughed when they heard their Aussie opponent weighed in at 300lbs. They were soon silenced.
Sinkau Baylan		Things were looking good for Jim until his feet became incurably entangled in the lane buoys.
Sinkau Baylan		In other news, all aquatic sports in the 2004 Olympics will be cancelled due to lack of willing competitors.
Sinkau Baylan		Well, Dave got off to a good start, until halfway across he realised he couldn't stop.
Sinkau Baylan		Yeah, Ian could swim faster than a dolphin, but feet like that don't come with brakes.
DoggySpew		Harrie just experienced some side-effects after eating a geneticly altered frog.
NeonLizard		He thought he could get away with it by disguising his flippers as feet
Sesspit		And here's the swimmer from Chernobyl in Ukraine...
Leander		Clumsy on land, but fast in the water!
aussietrekker		I thought this was to be a swim meet. No one told me I need water skis!
99 1/2 of 100		evidently the doping made the wrong parts of the body grow
Mike Howell		His choice of career had been tough--his father was a champion swimmer; his mother was a yeti.
Sinkau Baylan		Sadly, the extra weight caused this budding athlete to sink like a stone.
Sinkau Baylan		Though he swam 1000 metres in only 10 seconds, he was later disqualified for a faulty start.
		Gary suddenly understands why Jim keeps a bicycle pump in the locker room.
Farnell		The swimming pool shoelace tying championships had gone horribly wrong...
A person lost in space		What Ian doesn't know is after the race he will be tested for implants.
Div		Athlete's Foot had never been so powerful
idiotboy		Even after the surgery, he still couldn't quite reach those toes....
Rabbit		Feet? I though we went metric years ago!
Captain Sevway		All that's left to do is sew them together, and - voila! a whale's tail!
MindMelda		It was either this or stomping out forest fires.
MindMelda(who's hubby wears a size 17 shoe!)		Where DO you buy your shoes?
Mike Howell		Winner of the "bottom-walk" 100 meter race.
MindMelda		Being part duck must give you a huge advantage.
Mark		The 1-kick 50 meter freestyle winner.
Mark		Those can't be legal!
Mark		Joe put his allergic reaction to good use.
Mark		Gad, that's a lot of toejam!
Mark		The positive side of the bee sting.
Zathras		I guess growing up near a nuclear power plant has some advantages
Zaphod		What Yeti's do for fun
Leander		I know the water won't split up, but that doesn't mean you can walk over it!
Ilta		After Ian Thorpe retired, the Australian team had some pretty big shoes to fill...
Captain Sevway		(Guy on block) "Dude, where did you hide the bicycle pump?"
erik		It was either this, or the circus.
Lordy		Plastic surgery to enhance performance was outlawed shortly afterwards.
Nodrog_CRC		Lemme guess... before they shaved you, you were a sasquatch... (aka Big Foot)
erik		I've heard of athlete's foot, but this is ridiculous.
Lordy		In all his days, the champion swimmer had never been de-feeted.
tom patterson		I womder if he can waterski on those things?
Lordy		after retiring form the clown buisness, Bobo won three consecutive olympic gold medals.
Leander		And in lane 2: Big Foot.
Trevor Raggatt		Musical notes "...THey called him 'Flipper', 'Flipper'..."
Joona Palaste		This competition was important to Hank. He knew he had big shoes to fill.
Nick "Naraht" Frame		Carl was nervous racing the legendary "Sasquach"
travis		who says size does'nt matter?
meggy eel		Joe had a natural advantage
meggy eel		Ralph had missed the news that human growth hormones were now allowed
meggy eel		He's a FOOT ahead of the rest!!!

Round 258 Round 260

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