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| Sev Wars: The Comic Strip The Dark Lords of the Sift. One wonders why the bad guys never number more than two. Perhaps it's because their form of discipline involves choking you to death! If you want to use this comic strip on your own web site, just copy this HTML code and paste it into your website. You can use it freely in exchange for a link back to the Sci-Fi Competition. To add your web site to my list of Sci-Fi Publishers, just enter your web site in our entry form. 
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| These comics are created from the winning entries of The Sci-Fi Competition - the winning punchline is chosen in the weekly IRC Judging Session. This week's winning punchline was written by John Fallon. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions. 8 of 12
| 'The dark side wants you!' posters haven't been distributed yet. 8 of 12
| Bad publicity. Kill the agent. Jeremy Sadler
| Mace Windu went medieval on the others... Jeremy Sadler
| Promotion is rather difficult in this business. Reffik Midson
| Being Sift means being a cut above the rest. Or was it chest? russ
| There were three, but I just couldn't stand his asthma Avenger CO
| Keeps up our collectability value. Supermike
| So you would fight about who gets the double lightsever? Never!!! Petréa Mitchell
| Not a lot of people go for the face makeup as enthusiastically as you. Bliss
| Because your makeup scares newbies away. Bliss
| Just for that I'm cutting your lines! grimace1
| ever heard of good cop, bad cop? well, we've got bad sift, worse sift. Namgubed the Merry Elf
| We're elitist snobs. Shawn McNiel
| The other students usually try something rash, like taking on two Redeye at once. Shawn McNiel
| Have you seen what they are paying teachers nowadays? You try teaching a class full of evil students with supernatural powers for what I'm making. Shawn McNiel
| Marketing my boy, scarcity equals increased value. Shawn McNiel
| Dermatology isn't in the health plan as your face can attest. Shawn McNiel
| The Hazing can get pretty brutal at the Sith Academy. We are evil after all. Darth Clinton
| THe slogan "There can be only one" was taken. Cordavin Lon
| They're hard to come by. I mean, what are we gonna do, recruit a ten-year-old? pyro
| Because our equipment is already expensive enough Kevin Warrington
| I'm just not good with names Kestra
| You want better odds? Join the good guys, they always win. ?
| So we have a strong relationship... like Master and Apprentice... Like Father and Son... like husband and eh... Avenger CO
| Well, SOMEONE has to be management! Griffin
| We only got a two blade alowance for the bad guys. But NOO, you hade to have both! Griffin
| One to wedgie. It takes two to go atomic. John Fallon
| Well, it was one really evil and deadly sidekick or several thousand idiots who can't shoot the broad side of a starship . Amy-Wan Kenobi
| No offense, but after we hired you we lost all other applicants. Mandalore007
| Lucas was goin' for an "Odd Couple" look. Raptor1
| Few people like to be called Daft. Amy Dalla
| We were gonna have more, but the orchestra got sick of playing the ominous music. Amy Dalla
| The story of the nineties...we had to downsize. Quip
| There's a master and an apprentice-- did you fail math? Sevanonymous
| We can only produce *so* many action figures, Daft. Lyra
| Keep asking and there will only be *one* dark lord of the sift. RobRoy
| We're not exactly a trusting lot, are we? Wuzit2u
| Just think...."terrible twos"... Nicodemus
| Oh, jealous because you'll be replaced by a ten-year old, are you? Tim De los Reyes
| There's a red lightsaber shortage. russ
| we can Darth Maul, but the next Sith is coming out of your paycheck russ
| There can only be two, Because the "Good" is not here, we are left with "The Bad" and the "Ugly" russ
| One to get the ladder and one to put in the light bulb. oh wait....nevermind, wrong joke Mark
| We couldn't afford the face paint. Riff
| It takes enough time to do YOUR makeup. CinderK
| Why? You want even fewer lines? Kalahari Karl
| Because two wrongs DO make a right. jdwiseman
| All the rest of them died in the prequel to the prequels. jdwiseman
| Good question. Maybe we should make thousands of clones and start a war.....nah. jdwiseman
| There was not enough black cloth to go around. jdwiseman
| Numbers were never our strong suit. spiffy
| You think I'm made of money?? just
| Fear. Anger. Hate. The inability to count to more then two. Those are the Datk Sides of the Force Mark
| The cost of face paint. gurglesplat
| No-one else ever auditions MissIzzy
| I hate competition. Daniel R
| There used to be more, but I wiped them out... all of them. Lily
| There weren't very many people willing to spend seven hours in makeup just to say two lines. Mark
| All the rest of them have gone to pieces. Mark
| Quality control. Leon van Steensel
| One word: 'collectibles' Leon van Steensel
| Face it. Three's a crowd. Mark
| Lack of government funding. Alejandro Lee
| It's time I instructed you in tight budgeting. ted
| Lucas used all the budget on JarJar T'Rowa (who actually has that shirt...)
| We could only find two "I Love The Dark Side" tee-shirts. Kevin Warrington
| Because *someone* thought setting up a booth at career day was a silly idea Locutus of Borg, Jedi Supream
| It's hard enough to keep two guys from using the force to chok eachother Garibaldi
| Why, Why , WHY?!?! Stop asking questions, and go kill something! Raptor1
| Because then the Redeye would never beat us. Eoghan
| James Earl Jones costs money you know!! Da Chief
| Unlike Stormblooper recruits, our trainees hit what they aim for! Dak
| Looking at one of you is bad enough. T'Kar
| We can't stand competition. John Lang
| We're sifting thru more recruits now. starpony
| Good. The hate is flowing through you. John Lang
| Fewer paychecks to sign & distribute. Petzi
| Never change a winning team! starpony
| Soon I can trade him in for that Anarchy kid....wait, did I say that out loud? 24/7
| I don't know - why are there...oh, it's not a joke? 24/7
| I can't get the hang of that finger-choke thing myself! Flashdancer
| Just look at us... the one always hiding his face, the other one tatooed all over his face... what should a third one look like? Wearing a mask and a breathing device? starpony
| It makes it a lot easier to quash rebellious students. 24/7
| There can be only one! Oops - wrong movie! 24/7
| There used to be only one - you were an after-thought! starpony
| Can you imagine a Sift Council meeting? We'd never get anything done! meggy eel
| Oh, now you wanna play with someone else?! *sniffles* Lister
| Nobody wants evil action toys. gog
| It cuts down on admi costs!! Andy
| It's a buy one get one free deal 8 of 12
| Lousy health insurance. Tom Hyde
| There can be only two. Megan Dax
| Any more and the Bad Guys might win Joris de Gruyter
| The red lightsevers are limited edition. Joris de Gruyter
| We're low on capes. Will Etienne
| Keeps down expenses Joris de Gruyter
| Pfff... Why do Redeyes have ponytails? Joris de Gruyter
| You know how much speeders cost nowadays? Avatar
| No need! We know the cheat-mode in the lightsever, they don't! Joris de Gruyter
| Fairness... You'll see! Two against one and they still barely win! Francis Miranda
| It takes two to terrorize. Kevin
| You scared the rest away. Francis Miranda
| New recruits are all scared of you! mgeoffrey
| At your pay scale, that is all we can afford. Kevin
| Not enough batteries for more lightsevvers. ScottE Bemeup
| One for brains. One for brawn. Everyone else is a pawn. ScottE Bemeup
| Backstabbing is difficult when your quarry faces you. ScottE Bemeup
| A Sift Lord must never turn his back on a Sift Lord. +PsychoPat+
| Look at you! I don't want to manage a circus, that's why! FD
| Because we just don't get along. Kurt
| Too many bad guys has never been a good marketing concept. Kurt
| One to be killed off, one to stay. Michael Shaw
| Just in case one of them gets a really bad case of asthma Michael Shaw
| Why indeed...really only need one...hmmm Michael Shaw
| We keep trying to get a third, but the second one always gets killed Corsair
| Lucas has enough trouble fleshing out characters as it is. Corsair
| Well, we can't just WIN, can we? Corsair
| Makeup costs. After you, I can't even show my face! Jdla
| Under the Dark Jedi health plan, it covers one SithLord and a "significant other"... Corsair
| Two's company, three's a crowd. Karl Dabney
| "Too much arrogance on the darkside." Corsair
| Strong Union. Gregg E.
| Its hard to find guys who _want_ to look this ugly. mr
| makes an easier storyline Ilta
| Take a look in the mirror sometime.
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