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| Sev Wars: The Comic Strip Daft Vapor's discipline techniques! While Daft Vapor's zero tolerance policy on staff discipline is sure to keep his officers in line, it isn't likely to encourage them to seek promotion! If you want to use this comic strip on your own web site, just copy this HTML code and paste it into your website. You can use it freely in exchange for a link back to the Sci-Fi Competition. To add your web site to my list of Sci-Fi Publishers, just enter your web site in our entry form. 
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| These comics are created from the winning entries of The Sci-Fi Competition - the winning punchline is chosen in the weekly IRC Judging Session. This week's winning punchline was written by russ. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions. cyKey
| Could somebody pinch me, I must be dreaming. Noo wait! Eggggg arrgg choke... Lister
| I'll just call my wife that I may be coming late from work. Very late. Carloss
| See you soon Admiral... Chopin
| Easy come, easy go... that's the way of an admiral Stalemate
| Yes sir...uhmm, whats the range of that trick? John Fallon
| Command of what ? You've already killed off the crew ! Angel
| Gees, if that's the way to get a promotion around here I should have taken those Jedi classes they offered in high school! Ilta
| You sure know how to dodge paying pensions! Darth Clinton
| Note to self: do not attempt to use Lord Vapor's chest as an ATM. Rossi
| Do I get a health care plan with that? Rossi
| Do I get a pay rise with that? Cordavin Lon
| Ensign Heimlich to the bridge! Neva
| I'm sorry to hear that, sir. Neva
| Note to self: never ask about the wife and kids. Neva
| I hate to be unfeeling, Ozzel, but can I have your stereo? Neva
| Happy thoughts . . . happy thoughts . . .happy thoughts. Srouh
| Talk about your dead-end jobs... Srouh
| I don't know, that Admiral uniform looks pretty tight... RealmMan
| Mental note: Never, ever, EVER do ANYTHING wrong! jdwiseman
| Does this mean I get to boss you aroun- aack cough gaaaaaaa... jdwiseman
| Not that it matters, but do I get a retirement plan? jdwiseman
| Piett? There uh, must me some mistake. My name is er, Carl. jdwiseman
| Me? But I was just on the guided tour. G.B.A
| I'm quite happy where I'm now, thank-you... brendon bialek
| my lord, would it intrest you to know that your fly is... never mind brendon bialek
| hey can you open a beer with that trick brendon bialek
| hehehehehe now make him dance like a chicken Neva
| You must be choking! Avenger CO
| I TOLD you not to crank call his chest phone... Mark
| Yes sir! May I suggest you need to date. Sci Fi Girl
| I do take it that breathing is prequisite of the job? russ
| I told you not to leave vader's toilet seat up! PotatoKnight
| Don't worry, I won't choke. Spud
| Can I get back to you on that offer? Shane Vassar
| Note to self, do not prove incompetent.. Shane Vassar
| Based on..uh..current circumstances, I respectfully deline promotion sir. Logan
| No wonder the C/O quarters are marked with a dry-erase marker. darth gonzo
| "Oh stop with the melodramatics!" Quip
| Might I suggest you do that to the ENEMY, sir? Quip
| No WONDER his kids turned out wierd! notaworry
| Remind me, never to beat you in any games John Zieman
| Yes, lard Vapor, YOU are my father! Christian Julius
| I told you not to call him an ATM russ
| But you can't! Ozzel is your son's cousin's sister's former roomate! Justin Allen
| I told you it was bad idea to show him the panel beater's bill for scraping those sev deplorers Justin (I'm dropping this bit now) Allen
| You never should have ridden the brakes on that sev deplorer! Justin (I'm dropping this bit now) Allen
| have you considered a carreer in professional wrestling my lord? Justin (Ironpants) Allen
| Perhaps i could recomend some stress balls, my lord? Mark
| Thanks you sir! Ensign, Set corse for 100,000 lightyears from hear, any direction! Avenger CO
| I'll notify my next of kin right away. kmk
| I guess discussing the retirement plan is out of the question? C Bemis
| Damn! He's got some reach! Jack-n The Box- King of killer punchlines!
| Aye sir, but how will Admiral Ozzel and I... Oh, never mind. Riff
| So much for Admiral Heimlich ... Riff
| Thank you. Pardon me while I change my uniform. JDSandara
| Remind me not to wear high colars AJE
| Must my shirt be as tight as his? Tom Hyde
| So that's how the Emperor can offer such a generous retirement plan! Brian
| That's "Admiral Kissup" to you, Sir! Tribbles
| There's got to be a rule against this somewhere. Tom Hyde
| I swear I'll never mention your daughter's buns! Tom Hyde
| Note to self "Never call Lord Vapour a 'Sithy'". Flashdancer
| I assure you that I will never disturb you during your beauty sleep like he did! griffin
| Note to self: Check life insurance for Force related injurys. WarpedNine
| Waste disposal to the bridge, on the double! Cordavin Lon
| I'll start working on my eulogy right away, sir. Cordavin Lon
| I'd have a better chance if I was being shot at by a stormblooper! Cordavin Lon
| I think I'll pull the "Riker Manuever" and stay on as second-in-command. David D
| Does it come with a health plan? Avenger CO
| ...there has got to be a better way to cut pension costs... Avenger CO
| Medical. I need a traceotomy on standby... Shawn McNiel
| Great, now where did I leave my "Admiraling for Dummies" book? J. Wolfe
| Uhm, I won't hold my breath. Ghost Man
| "Captaining the Executor, great career move.", my wife said. Uh-huh. Gregory Griffiths
| Memo to self: do NOT say that Blubba Fatt is more popular than Daft Vapor. Gregory Griffiths
| Memo to self: do NOT try to make a phone call on Daft Vapor's chest. Gregory Griffiths
| Um, Lord Vapor, he simply said he wanted to avoid getting a foul stench like Targit! Griffin
| Would my health plan cover that? Raptor1
| I'm sorry Lord Vapor your signal is breaking up. Jason Priesmeyer
| Uh, Sir... *he's* Piett- I'm Johnson from Sanitation. Andrew Perry
| Can you teach me to do that thing as well, Sir? Some of the ensigns are getting out of hand. Aura Thundera
| Could I take a promotion to "Unworthy Of Notice" instead? F.Mad
| Can I become a Storblooper instead? They got more chance to survive this movie! Cinga
| I'm completely brea... speachless. Michael Bunnell
| Don't worry, sir, I won't choke like HE did. The Crazy Zonie
| That Vapor! Always a kidder... heh heh... Nodrog
| And to think, I could have been a storm trooper... Nodrog
| Sir, is there anyway I could get transferred to the Sev Trek strip? Daniel R
| Oh, crap! The Crazy Zonie
| first order of business as Admiral: RESIGN! The Crazy Zonie
| Not me man! I'm pushing mops from now on! cshark
| Note to self: do not ask for paid vacation. Sweeney Todd
| How many more films before he dies? Sweeney Todd
| The baby's name is Gaby... The baby's name is Gaby... RainStrom
| The new admiral needs a new pair of pants... RainStrom
| Yes sir, and may I say, this works *much* better than electro-shock therapy! Brian
| Now, that's a promotion to die for! Brian
| I hereby demote myself to assistant stormblooper! Brian
| Yes, Lord Vapor. I'll defeat the Rubbellion as soon as I return from getting my windpipe reiforced! John Lang
| *GULP!* I guess I should just take a number and prepare to be choked! Brian
| Would early retirement be an option? Tribbles
| Can I have a small outpost in the middle of nowhere, please? Lene
| Maybe I should run away and join the rebellion... wait, did I say that out loud? Callisto, Dark Lady of the Sith
| Umm, can I suggest Enisgn Expendible instead, Sir? Alicia Prater
| I don't know what to say, Sir. I'm all choked up! WORF
| I can see why the rebels will win at Endor, our fleet wont have any crew by then. Jsantwan
| Yes sir, and may I say that we are switching to decaf. just
| And to think that one month ago, I was a low-ranked crewman Gobi Toby
| Sir, next time you could just give me a wedgie... Mad Weasel
| thinks: I'm not sure if the stock-options are worth it.... Mad Weasel
| Sir, I respectfully decline.....errr...I mean; certainly My Lord! Right you are! Strike Falcon
| Umm, he asked for a gold watch when he retired, not a gagged death... Strike Falcon
| I said you could use my calling card! But no, you had to call collect off Vapor's chest plate! Strike Falcon
| Are you sure? I'm gonna crash the super sevdestroyer into the second SevStar in episode VI.... Bloomster
| Woah! Now to find another high-ranking official... Shawn Faith
| If this is what it takes to get a better parking space, I'm not so sure I want it sir. Commander
| Those first aid classes were worthless. The Great Wizzard
| Hmm. Ten minutes ago he promoted Admiral Ozzle over here... Hanover Fisk
| Dammit! This is exactly why I got out of Amway sales! Hanover Fisk
| Spooky. This is how I got promoted at Dunkin Donut's. mgeoffrey
| Damn. I have to learn that jedi stuff. meggy eel
| Good god no!! I mean, thank you sir... meggy eel
| Note to self: get the hell out of here! Averagejoe
| Lord Vapor, Congratulations on winning the dead pool again this week. Kennybob
| Actually, I wouldn't mind being good old Ensign Piett. Haathi
| Thank you, sir. I will never disturb you with my lack or faith or be as clumsy as I am stupid. And I'll never apologize to you in person. Haathi
| Cough drops to the bridge! Haathi
| Like, whoopdeedoo. Carl Kramer
| Can I have his parking space? Nodrog
| But I'm Jones, sir! Er, I meen, I'll change my name immediately, sir! ScottE Bemeup
| (change to thought bubble)That tears it. I'm going to root for the Jedi. Haathi
| I suppose this isn't a good time to ask for a raise. Averagejoe
| Somehow this promotion has lost some of its pomp and ceremony ScottE Bemeup
| As my first official act I hearby resign my commission. Super Bert O' Matic '76
| Oh my God! You killed Ozzel! You Bastard! Super Bert O' Matic '76
| I know that fortune cookie said "You're in for a breathtaking experience," but yeesh... Carl Kramer
| Uh, thanks but no thanks. Averagejoe
| And I will make your proud, may I change my shorts now? Nodrog
| Permission requested to wet my pants, sir. Averagejoe
| And a great honor Lord Vapor, last week I was 2nd class Janitor. Andy Ngoh
| Just one question Lord Vapor... why do all Admirals get sore throats??? Carl Kramer
| Only if it comes with a really good health plan. Nodrog
| Yes sir. Uh, shouldn't I give Admiral Smith his heart medication now? The Great Wizzard
| Now I know why our ship has been named "Executor" Nodrog
| But I'm just the janitor, sir... ed
| Uh, I accept the responsibility and will do my best not to choke, sir. Flashdancer
| Thanks, sir... by the way, where are the escape pods? Corsair
| Thank you lord, I promise not to Choke. Averagejoe
| I would like to add that your sorcers ways DO frighten me. Averagejoe
| Unlike Ozzle, I assure you I will not take early retirement incentives Flashdancer
| Well... they told me youŽll make career fast in the imperial fleet... Flashdancer
| What a breathtaking jump up the career ladder. Flashdancer
| Umm... okay. The cantina is forbidden to serve meatballs from now Flashdancer
| Do I have to wear this tight collar as well? Dary Braithwaite
| Well, bang goes MY pension plan! 7 of 11
| I think I'll go join Sev Fleet. At least there, only the Ensigns die horrible, untimely deaths. +PsychoPat+
| I think its time to retire right about.... now. +PsychoPat+
| I think I'll take that leavetime now Kurt
| Yes, this is my promotion at last, why am I not happy? The Great Wizzard
| I should point out right now that I have a "Two movie"-contract. Kurt
| There goes my pension. Ewok Slayer
| Mop and bucket to the bridge! Compubear
| I told you it wasn't a good idea to tell him about his bad breath! Francis Miranda
| Does this count as harrasment? Francis Miranda
| Talk about your occupational hazards! Tom Hyde
| I'm transferring myself to the spice mines of Kessel. Ewok Slayer
| This isn't going to be good for morale! Ewok Slayer
| Great! Now let's call off this silly war and have some Tang (TM)! Stalemate
| Yes sir, I won't fail you (I'll just run away). Stalemate
| Damn the Force. Stalemate
| It's times like this I wish I were a stormtrooper. Lobot
| Oh....., Joy.... Stalemate
| Sure, I'll just take a little vacation first. Zombie
| Note to self: MORE starch in collar Stalemate
| Can't you just skip me. I'm happy beeing general. The Great Wizzard
| Darn! I thought he wanted to tell me that he is my missing father. The Rehashing Wizzard
| I have a bad feeling about this [TM] The Great Wizzard
| Piett to sickbay: how is the development or the "Iron Lung" going on? Nintendo Guru
| Uh, I promote Ensign Noname over there as admiral.
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