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| Sev Wars: The Comic Strip Incompetent Stormbloopers! Anyone who's watched a Star Wars movie has wondered why the Stormtroopers wear all that armor when it doesn't seem to do anything to protect them (even the Ewoks can kick their butts). This week's strip attempts to explain this mystery. 
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| These comics are created from the winning entries of The Sci-Fi Competition - the winning punchline is chosen in the weekly IRC Judging Session (many thanks to Puam for running this week's session). Mosaic
| Actually, I think these suits ATTRACT lasers! Mosaic
| Yeah! The Wackiee's naked and he hasn't even been hit! risk one
| Remember that scene where Darth Vader came aboard the death star and was welcomed by a huge army of Troopers? All puppets Tribbles
| Harrison Ford didn't want us stealing screen time with our good looks. Reggie
| The last uniform gave us wedgies! Brian
| So the Rubble Alliance will know who to shoot! Brian
| It's easy to wash! Brian
| It's rustproof, and dents pop right out! Daria
| Merchandising, my friend, merchandising. Bill Castner
| The rattling sound gives us away. tunk
| No...visisble...panty line.... Jesusfreak
| We won't have to worry about getting the wrong suit when we pick up our laundry! Tribbles
| And while we're on the subject, why do they give us guns if we can't shoot? Daria
| Only main characters are allowed individuality. Nick R
| With all the money The Impure spends on making Dud Stars, they only have this second rate armour left over for us! Mosaic
| Yeah, and when ARE they gonna get around to putting eyeholes in our helmets littlestar
| Darth Vader buys in bulk. Doc
| If you think Vader looks bad, you should see our faces! ebdug
| Its Vader's way of reminding us that we are all expendable. T'Rowa
| Hey, at least the jock cup works. soporific
| I wanna be like Darth. Francis Miranda
| The Empire bought it all on sale. The Lone Ensign
| I don't know, we couldn't hit the ground if we jumped out of an airplane either! Don Rae
| Looks are really all that counts. Spud
| Incentive to shoot straight Riff
| We're easier to kill if we're faceless. Riff
| The built-in peril-sensitive sunglasses are a plus. Riff
| So nobody realises there's only ten of us! Christopher Michael
| Same reason we have guns that don't shoot straight! Christopher Michael
| At least OUR uniforms don't change between movies! Christopher Michael
| It's a plausible excuse to why we can't hit the broad side of a Star Destroyer! Christopher Michael
| What? This helmet makes it impossible to hear! risk one
| Now they can hire cheap, ugly actors to play stormtroopers risk one
| that way the viewers don't notice, the same three guys get killed every fight Tribbles
| It's this idea of having bad guys in white. Maybe we'll have a better chance of winning. Tribbles
| Well, it's supposed to protect us, but props didn't have much to work with. FD
| Aren't you a little smart for a stormtrooper? ShaneS
| You WANT Lord Vader to know who you are? ShaneS
| When we foul up we just shuffle around. Corsair
| Forget that! Why can't we shoot straight?! Corsair
| It hides the fact we're all Lucas' relatives. Corsair
| Red Shirts were already taken... Madmartigan
| They tell me it does wonders against rocks and wooden arrows. Chop
| If you turn just right you can pick up Jazz FM! Chop
| And the shades make it impossible to aim! Stephan
| We get 10% off at the Cantina. Chop
| Well the air filters work. Do you want to be able to smell the Wackie? Angus McLaren
| Shssh, you spoil the recruitment drive for the next movie! Angus McLaren
| Be quiet XTRA1138, you don't have any lines! Carlos
| They slim the thighs, flatten the stomach, and flatten the buttocks. Carlos
| Well, they came with a great warranty! Carlos
| I think management is trying to drive us into early retirement. Carlos
| They make us all equal. Equally bland, that is. Carlos
| Darth got all the good stuff. Carlos
| It was supposed to balance out our poor marksmanship. Carlos
| Yeah, well, the utility belts are nifty. Carlos
| I wanna be like Darth! CinderK
| It DOES protect us from mosquito bites. CinderK
| If we ever get office jobs, they'll be good paper weights. CinderK
| You always see things in black and white, don't you. CinderK
| We're camouflaged in case of a snowball fight. CinderK
| It protects us from bumping our heads in doorways. JC
| Chicks dig the uniform.
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