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Help judge this week's comic strip! We will judge the winning entry of this comic strip at the usual time of Saturday 8am Australian EST. You're welcome to join us at the Sev Trek IRC Channel #sevtrek.

To join, open your IRC software and join the server. Then join the #sevtrek channel by typing the command /join #sevtrek and join in the fun!!

Read the instructions and rules at the IRC Judging Page and a summary of the punchlines at the Finalist Punchlines Page. If you have any other problems getting onto the IRC chat channel or anything, ask your questions at the Sev Trek Discussion Board.

Other Punchlines

Mike Howell

To protect your career--how is it, anyway?


The worst oil spill since Exxon Valdez


You and Worf had a date scheduled - it happens to all his girlfriends

Maje Culluh

When you get down to it, you're just the head redshirt

Ego Atenji

(Why:) Because there's just to many insecure males out there.

Mr. Matt

You know that episode is available on video, right?

Mr. Matt

When I said last call, I meant it.


T: why did i die? G: so they could pay my salary!

CArlos A.

By a thing that was tarred but not feathered


It doesn't suit you. Try being a brunette.

Well, this big blob of motor oil had a glob of goo with your name on it....

Pau Lund

"Alien mud wrestling"


A Klingoff was a more logical choice for a security chief


We all got sick and tarred of you.


Let's just say that black wasn't your color.


Ever heard of an old earth movie Creature form the Black lagoon.......


A terminal case of "ratings boosteritus."


I dont' know, but it sure boosted ratings


They oiled you up and you slipped right out.


If you stick around long enough you'll be able to catch the reruns.


Forget that, why do I have a pizza box on my head?

Cmdr. Solomon

Same way every main character demanded a cut of the profits.

Richard Pope

No reason, stuff just happens

Matt Paulson

Remember that Q guy? Wasn't him

Tom Martin

(How...?) "...and up from the ground came'ah Bubblin' Crude... Evil, that is...

Mark Vaughan

Let me give you a hint--it's big, black, and has an attitude and I ain't talkin' about Mr. T!


Like you always wanted... Horribly.

Lt Tigera

Oh you know, sentient oil slick, same ol' same ol'

Milyssa Leigh

Maybe becauase you couldn't act your way out of a wet paper bag?


so we could make "Yesterday's Enterforaprize" Today

Doug Pederson

Your character or your career?


...then one day you were shootin' at some food, when up from the ground came a bubblin' crude...

Timothy Fowler

Bad writing, puddle of goo, long story.

Sean Doran

"You thought Pet Cemtary II was your big break."

Jack Hammerfist

Ever hear the story about the tarbaby?


Let's just say, "Oil's well that ends well"


The real question is why Tryhard didn't.

U.S.S. Redshirt

Let me put my thinking cap on.

The Excellent Dude

I serve drinks not eulogies.

The Excellent Dude

Ensign shortage. Lieutenants were next.


Let's just say it cost you an Arm-us and a leg.


Can't say - temporal prime directive.

Gul Teral

Let's just say Pinchard is very sensitive about bald jokes.

Gul Teral

Runing with scissors.


I hear you went out real SLICK.


It's kinda hazy - maybe a bar of gold-press latinum will jog my memory...


how come the enterprise was in the exact same time in the exact same place in both time lines?


don't worry, you'll be resurrected again and again..


worst death scene ever


the writers mistook you as a junior officer that no one cares about


you tried sucking up to picard with "you're like a father to me" stuff. and you forgot that he hates children


If I were you, I'd pay my bar tab after this drink.

Lord Fledrinnian

Macho women just don't last in Sev Fleet.

Latin From Manhattan

Before or after you had the Romulan baby?

Lord Fledrinnian

Quite insecure for a security officer, aren't you?

Lord Fledrinnian

Let's just say it wasn't due to an oil shortage....


It's just Sevfleet's way of telling you that your job isn't secure anymore!

Christina "Saavik"

The needs of the Klingoff outweigh the needs of the blonde.

S Treeton.

gold is the new red baby


The black oil death gotcha.


You will meet a tall dark stranger.


Never mess with Spiner Femmes...


Face it, your comeback was better than all of your episodes put together...


You told Beta "it never happened", and well, you know him, always taking things literally...

admirably lost

Guano: you slipped into something black and dangerous unfortunately it was not a catsuit two sizes to small

Captain Skree

Season 2. You really don't want to know.


Someone told the alien that gold is the new season uniform colour to die for

Renegade Borg

I don't know--my hat was blocking my view.

Lord Fledrinnian

Let's just say it was a fade to black.

Lord Fledrinnian

Having sex with an android can be hazardous...didn't you read the owner's manual?


Beta isnt allowed a girlfriend


G: Let's just say your character wasn't secure in any timeline!


G: It was a senseless way to pick up ratings.

Engineman AKAscotty

The security guy that should have been killed overslept


You dated a main character. Beta.


TY: Guano, why did I die? Guano: Three words: "The Naked Now."


Oddly enough, I remember despite not being on the show then.


Don't complain; you get better scripts now.


Guano: When you come back as a Wrongulan, you'll forget all about these annoying questions.


Shh. Don't say the "D" word in here, it's not PC!


Guano: No one on Trek really dies, Trashy, they're just recycled. .


TY: Why did I die? G: Do you see a useless counselor here? Now what do you want to drink?


How should I know? I wasn't even ON the show when it happened!


Oil change gone wrong.


We were out of ensigns


Just stay away from oily characters, okay?

The Excellent Dude

You showed that red shirts aren't prerequisites to death.

Kristin Johnson

Worf didn't like it that you were tougher.

Mike Howell

I don't care--just don't start singing "Henry the Eighth"

Ooooh, my head!

Dr. Cruncher and Counsellor Tryhard couldn't take the competition any more!


That alien was aiming for the redshirt - Riker, wasn't it?


The fans liked Barf better!


You didn't die. You were "Rehabilitated"

Ooooh, my head!

You made a fatal mistake - you asked to be written out!


That depends, which you is asking?


You let some goo go where no goo has gone before. Needless to say it didn't turn out so well.

Ensign Walkonpart

No protective headgear.

Ensign Walkonpart

Do I look like Quincy to you?

Ensign Walkonpart

Dammit, Trashy! I'm an ancient psychic bartender, not a coroner.

Cmdr. Solomon

You refused to wear a catsuit.

Ensign Walkonpart

I dunno, but if you can explain it, I'll eat my hat!

Ensign Walkonpart

Environmental ruled that Trashy Yards had to be eliminated.

Renegade Borg

You got trashed, Trashy.

Renegade Borg

Why tell? We got it on tape! Let see, is it on Enterprise's Funniest Videos or Proudest Moments?

Renegade Borg

Oh face it, Trashy--nobody liked you anyway.

Tom Hyde

You didn't die, your audience did.


Beats me, but I don't think anyone missed you.


I wasn't there, but I heard it was pretty slick.


Y: Why did I die? G: With two security officers, you were considered "expendable"


Y: Why did I die? G: Bad career planning.


We already filled our "major character" quotient


Like many others, you wanted to seek out bigger and better things, and here you are right back at my bar.


You just HAD to step in front of a red shirt, didn't you?


Writer's block...sweeps week...budgetary considerations...


You were too cute to be chief of security.


Fan hatred turned into a black mass and ate you.


You became a major character's love interest. BIG mistake!


very unconvincingly

Ensign Walkonpart

Oil think about it and let you know.

Ensign Walkonpart

You kissed Data without being properly grounded.


It was either you or me, honey, and the boss digs big hats.


Suicide. Leaving Sev Trek killed your career!

Latin From Manhattan

You would have had a better chance of survival if you'd been dating the producer--like a certain Borg babe in a tight catsuit who shall remain nameless.


You were mistakenly confused as Ensign Cannonfodder.


Because red shirts took command - goldshirts must die.


The ratings of the many outweigh the acting of the one.


G: Let's just say you were voted off the series.


G: Sweeps week.

ScottE Bemeup

Which time?

The Penguin Weekly

We were aiming for Measly. We missed.

The Penguin Weekly

So we can bring you back and kill you again!

ScottE Bemeup

I'd give you the skinny, but it's an evil tale.


There comes a time in Sev when one character must be sacrificed for the good of the ratings.

The Penguin Weekly

Exploding console duty.

The Penguin Weekly

Apparently, not well enough, since you're back here.

ScottE Bemeup

You met somebody fully disfunctional.

ScottE Bemeup

Beta thought it best to end the relationship.

The Penguin Weekly

You weren't the first to get taken out by the Hat.

ScottE Bemeup

A terminal case of oily skin.

The Penguin Weekly

Ours is not to reason why, just to live and quickly die.

The Penguin Weekly

They don't make main characters like they used to.

The Penguin Weekly

A big slimeball, and I'm not talking about Cue.

ScottE Bemeup

Let's just say it wasn't a slick move on your part.

The Penguin Weekly

Beta accidentally deleted your name from the opening credits

ScottE Bemeup

It was a sticky situation.

Ensign Walkonpart

So I could wear my new black hat to your funeral.


TY: Why did I have to die? G: You should have agreed to be Piker's squeeze.


How the hat am I supposed to know?


G: That's difficult to say Trashy. You keep getting recycled.

john butler

Guano: Your uniform couldn't save you. Oil slicks are colourblind

Alagar 35

The Klingoff wanted your job. Nuff said.

Alagar 35

Your name didn't show in the opining credits and it was away mission day.

john butler

Guano: Maybe the answer to that lies somewhere deep within you (pauses, then exits slowly)

john butler

Guano: (looking around) Who said that?

john butler

Guano: Your opponent was unfazed by your tactical abilities

Know 1 can hear you dream

After that "incident" with Beta, you wereŽnt fully functional for PG ratings anymore

Know 1 can hear you dream

A budget cut stab in the back

Engineman AKAscotty

I don't know. You must be confusing me with my twin-sister, Oda Mae.

Engineman AKAscotty

There's a dead person talking to me. This is "Ghost" all over again.

Engineman AKAscotty

Why? The Kling-off wanted your job. He struck a deal with some oil.


No cliches at all.


killed on planet, crying, greaving, life goes on


The usual were written off the show!

john butler

Klingoffs make more convincing security chiefs

Joona Palaste

Counselor Tryhard annoyed you to death.




You were taken out by an unconvincing special effect


I dunno, but this better not be heaven.

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