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Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

This week: Bored Queen in pieces! This week looks at how the Bored Queen falls to pieces when taking on Gainweight (an aged admiral, no less).


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by Hanover Fisk. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchlines of the Day.


CathyMac66@aol.com

Gainweight: Oh, sure, fall to pieces! How cliché!

Cmdr. Solomon

G:Well, Now I have to glue you back together for the next series. BQ: Don't bother, there's a reset button on my left leg.

D'Tora

G: That will teach you to use cut-rate parts! BQ: And to assimilate your shuttlecraft designers.

Latin From Manhattan

Gainweight: Looks like I'm not the only one who should switch to decaf!

4 of 5

Gainweight:This hairball generates one heck of a static charge doesn't it?

Cmdr. Solomon

G: Get a hold of yourself. Don't fall to pieces. *snicker snicker* BQ: Oh brother, somebody kill me now!

Dryad47

G:Assimilating Humpty Dumpty was your first mistake...

Dryad47

BQ: Hahaha- damn. the old side-splitting joke trick.

Tim

Gainweight: I guess you assimilated my lousy administration style too. Queen: No, it was just all the caffeine in your blood.

Compdude

GW: Guess this mission cost you an arm and a leg, didn't it?

Compdude

GW: Looks like you're having an out-of-body experience.

Mutts

Gainweight. Shall I call the repair service. Queen, Don't bother my warranty has expired

Elmo

BQ: And that's why you don't rip off that tag....

Peter Barbour

Bored Queen: Arent you going to do somthing? Gainweight: Forager could use a new hood ornament....

kes the lil sweet ocampa

G: Something you assimialted? BQ: I'd make a comeback, but It's hard to when you can't go anywhere...

Haesan

Borg Queen: "Let's see an action figure that can do that!"

Nick

Gainwheight: I knew my plan would work. Queen: No, just a delayed reaction to Y2K

Mr. Matt

G: I was expecting more out of you. Q: I was expecting more in me.

Mr. Matt

G: What's the problem? Q: The assembly instructions are in Chinese.

CP

Gainweight: You heartless, spineless... Queen: Don't rub it in.

CP

Gainweight: This is where I beam out while making some sarcastic comment. Queen: If only I had a leg up on you...

Cmdr. Tony Q

G: I told you coffee would be too strong for you...

Mark

G: Need a hand? Q: Amongst other parts, yes.

Kathy

Queen: How could you defeat me? You're old! Gainweight: Drinking coffee had some side effects no one anticipated.

Kathy

Gainweight: Resistance is futile! Queen: Why do I get the feeling you've ALWAYS wanted to say that?

Kathy

Gainweight: Feeling a little down? Queen: No - just a little disconnected.

Kathy

Gainweight: Fallin to pieces in a crisis? tsk, tsk! Queen: You would to if your hairspray wasn't holding you together!

Matt Robichaud

Gainweight: You really should pay attention to that big red blinking button on your back. Queen: Oh shut up!

JasonThorne

G: That was easy! BQ: Why did I program myself with a self destruct button.

D.Lerious

Gainweight: what shall I take as a silvenir

D.Lerious

Clean up on aile seven!

Allronix

Janeway: Finally, all the parts for my hairdryer AND my coffeemaker!

Delta1700

Gainweight: This is how your repair yourself? Queen: I always have a few leftover parts.

MindMelda

GW: It's amazing what you can do with a can of hair spray! BQ: Resisting the Do is Futile!

Christina "Saavik"

G:Y'know, Piker still needs a mute for his trombone...

Latin From Manhattan

Gainweight: Borg Queen, I'm no longer receiving you. You're breaking up. Borg Queen: Very funny!

Art DeBuigny

GW: I guess we finally got 'Piece' after all! He he! BQ: Stop, your killing me!

Jo

G: This is what happens when you try to "Do the DO."

Lt. Brad Gentry

G: Spare parts for a new hair dryer!

Save Ferris

G: What happened to you? BQ: Hokey Pokey mishap

Save Ferris

G: What happened to you? BQ: When Data rejected me, I fell to pieces !

Save Ferris

G: So much for Armed and dangerous!

Jo

G: There can only be one drama queen on this show. BQ: As you know that habit is hard to break.

roman

G: on my opinion every sevfleet captain should have a bored queen's head on the desk...

Edric O

Gainweight - I enjoy a good challenge Queen - Then try putting me back toghether!

Vok'Da from the Al Hokol system

Gainweight: This will make a great puzzle for Annoyme

Phon

G: Looks like somone has a few screws loose

admirably lost

Bored Queen : your really going to be in trouble when i get my act together

Samurai

BQ: Note to self....assimilate tech support.

Mafdet

Queen: I don't understand!!!! Gainweight: Gee, one technobabble and she goes all to pieces

VulcanGal27

G: I can beat the Bored with coffee now tea. BQ: What's next? Prunejuice?

Ensign Walkonpart

G: Now, that concludes my lesson on blow-drying. Any questions?

Eric

Gainweight: You're a real pain in the neck. Queen : No, just a neck with a migraine.

Jo

G: Hey queen, what a "piece of work" you are. BQ: The PC term is "collectively challenged."

Cmdr. Solomon

G: Oh yeah. Who da woman! BQ: I'll be back in the next odd numbered movie to give it sex appeal and flavor.

Cmdr. Solomon

BQ: I'll still defeat you... G: Yeah, you and who's hairdo?

Eric

Gainweight: Do you still think that "resistance is futile"? Queen: I think that slogan will be up for review at our next Bored meeting.

Eric

Gainweight: So, resistance is futile, huh. Queen: Don't believe the hype.

Eric

Gainweight: You Bored always fall for the virus trick. Queen: It was the first time I'd ever received an email that began with "I love you".

aussietrekker

G: I always did like jigsaw puzzles.....

Abu D.

Gainweight: I guess I have to glue you back together for next week's episode.. Bored queen: Not to worry; I'm recyclable!

Ruth (from Canada) including a Discworld Reference

BQ - There's never an Igor around when you need one.

Edric O

Gainweight - I believe you're "cohesionally challenged" Queen - Picard-wan has taught you well.

Elmo

G: ...And then I mail you a different piece each week!

roman

G: even locutus had better body protection that you do. BQ: thar's because he wasn't as bold as i am.. or was it bald..

MindMelda

GW: You've got me in stitches! BQ: You've got me in pieces!

MindMelda

GW: Now, you're the Bored UN-Collective!

Arin

BQ: I'll get you my pretty, well maybe not so pretty, and your little ship too.

Pizman

Bored Queen: Resistance is...oh, sod it.

Pizman

Bored Queen: Well, maybe I'd better get some drones up here to put me back together.

Pizman

Bored Queen: All right, we'll call it a draw.

Pizman

Admiral Gainweight: If that's not enough, I've got a few more tricks up my hair.

erik

BQ: Aagh! What have you done? GW: I told you, never download the attachment if you don't know who it's from!

erik

BQ: What have you done to me? GW: Your system's been disarmed.

erik

KJ: Ha! The secret pathogen in my bloodstream is destroying you! BQ: Curse you! The collective can't handle this much caffeine!

erik

KJ: Look! A Lego robotics set! BQ: I knew assimilating those Star Wars battle droids was a mistake!

erik

KJ: For all those naysayers who thought the Bored hit rock bottom as a credible threat in Unimatrix Zero... BQ: Come over here! I'll bite your legs off!

Dial "M" for Maul

G: That's not the way to get ahead // Queen: Some villans get Shakespear, but noooo...

EnginemanAKAscotty

G: Jenga!!

EnginemanAKAscotty

BQ: You know you're in trouble when you can see your own butt

EnginemanAKAscotty

G: Assimilate this! BQ: Touche...or should I say touchy?

woodlouse

GW: Your four season warranty is up

Alagar 35

G:NEVER TOUCH THE DO!!!!!BQ:Man thats some static electricity.

Cosmicastaway

Gainweight: Why does everything fall apart the day the warrenty ends.

Delta Flyer

Gainweight: I bet you were an ensign before you were assimilated!

Gregory Griffiths

Bored Queen: Help! I've fallen apart, and I can't get back together!

Gregory Griffiths

Bored Queen: I'm going to give you a piece of my mind!

Gregory Griffiths

Gainweight: That's what you get for assimilating Pinchard's security guards!

P-feif

G: Hmmmm, 3D puzzle?

Seven Of Five

Gainweight: Yay, I defeated the Queen! Queen: Actually, I've been in this mess since First Contact.

P-feif

G: You should have that looked at. Q: ...but I just got a tune up!

P-feif

Q: Look what you've done! G: Me? You shouldn't have tried to assimulate my hair!

Dial "M" for Maul

G: Quite the fall Humptey Dumpty / Queen: Looks who's talking Tribble Head

Martijn Takke

AJ: Ihope you still have the warranty for that body of yours! BQ: WHAT warranty? I bought it off the rack!

Dial "M" for Maul

G: Hair beats head again!// Queen: Explain Picard!

shash

Gainweight: That's what you get for trying to assevilate someone with creaking joints.

Dial "M" for Maul

G: Eat Virus! // Queen: That's it! No more opening attachments!

Dial "M" for Maul

G: Consider Picard's "Line" enforced

Dial "M" for Maul

G: I'm so disarming

Save Ferris

G: Now pull yourself together queenie! Q: Easier said than done

Sesspit

BQ: No plasma this time, okay?

Sesspit

G: I told you to stand at ease before you'd rip something.

P Swayne

Gainweight: Do you surrender now? BQ: Yes, I'm making a piece offering!

Jo

G: You assevilated a MicroSev virus. Q: Reinstallation is futile.

ScottE Bemeup

Gainweight: Now what do you have to say? Queen: Not again!

ScottE Bemeup

Gainweight: Any final words? Queen: The spine must be drawn here!

ScottE Bemeup

Gainweight: Any last words. Queen: Don't you people have Temporal Police or something?

ScottE Bemeup

Gainweight: Now what do you have to say for yourself? Queen: I'll be back.

ScottE Bemeup

Gainweight: Any last requests? Queen: Yeah, get a haircut!

WickedChicken

Gainweight: Gazoontite! Queen: Don't just stand there, get a soldering iron!

Seven Of Five

Gainweight: So to kill the Borg, you put Alice Krige into rubber? Queen: You think we'd have learned from First Contact!

Rider Pale

G: "Plug 'n Play failure, huh?" BQ: "Right. Shouldn't have assimilated tis MicroSev OS..."

Rider Pale

G: "Somehow my getting older has more dignity..." BQ: "Check your hairdo and think again!!!"

Talashar

G: Rest in Pieces! Q: Oh, I'm just cracking up.

Talashar

Q: Could you give me a hand here?

Elf

G: I`ve been dreaming of this since I saw the Bored Queen Head in Pinchhards ready room...

Graeme K

Queen: I've got parts missing now!! What do I do. Gainweight: Just remember - Resistors are futile!

Graeme K

Queen: Now how am I supposed to put myself back together. Gainweight: Just remember... The cortical nodes connected to the proximity node....

celeste

Gainweight (singing) "I fall to pieces..." Queen "Shut up and grab a screw driver."

augustdragon

G: Whining is futile. You will not be assembled.

Johnathan McClure

Gainweight: How do you like that? Bored Queen: At least its better than having my flesh dissolve!

§Sean§

It seems you were "Mostly 'armless"

Kitana

Gainweight: You're not half...I mean a quarter...eighth? The Borg you used to be.

Powerlord

BQ: Pinchard destroyed me once... GW: To make sure you don't come back, I'm installing Windows 98

Powerlord

BQ: Resistance is futile! GW: Turns out resistance works pretty darn well.

Gregory Griffiths

Serves you right for trying to assimilate my coffee!

Gregory Griffiths

I've seen people go to pieces over some things, but this is ridiculous!

Kristin

Gainweight: So this is the way the Bored crumble! Queen: Not that is matters. I'll be back in the next installment.

J-Dog

Gainmeight: Do you ever die?

Jo

G: You said you wanted a "piece of the action." Q: You didn't have to turn me into a fraction!

Ensign Walkonpart

Gainweight: I'm sorry Naiveti left her rollerskates lying around.

Ensign Walkonpart

Gainweight: I don't know if I should call a doctor, or a plumber.

Ensign Walkonpart

Bored Queen: Give me a moment to compose myself.

Ensign Walkonpart

Bored Queen: Make-up!

Ensign Walkonpart

Gainweight: When the joints are droppin' don't come a-knockin!

Ensign Walkonpart

Bored Queen: No! No more Patsy Cline!!

FCC

G: "Taking a break?"

Chuckotay

BQ - Cohesion is Futile

Magic Orco

G: ' See you're having problems with the 'borg implants'. Q: At least I never have problems with the HAIR implants.

Captain Big Mouth

Gainweight - I guess you were serious about showing me 'what you're made of'. Queen - We're serious people.

Captain Big Mouth

Typical bored: when the going gets tough, you just can't keep it together.

Bonsai

Gainweight: Now, what did I tell you? Bored Queen: Never touch the hair!

Bonsai

Gainweight: Nobody touches the hair! , Bored Queen: Now you tell me!

Ensign Walkonpart

Gainweight: Did your warranty run out at midnight? Bored Queen: I knew I should've bought a better policy.

Elmo

gain: I told you that I'm the Twister champion...

Ann E. Nichols

G: "B is for bored queens who don't win the day." B: "A is for Admirals who won't get away."

Ann E. Nichols

G: Tsk. You shouldn't let yourself fall apart like that. B: You let yourself go more than I did!

L.R. Stone

Gainweight: Oops, did I do that? Queen: Don't make me hop over there

Corsair

G: So I've finally cut you down to size. BQ: So what? You still have to live with that Hairdo.

Derek

Gainweight: I'll give you a moment to compose yourself.

Derek

Gainweight: A Kodak moment if I ever saw one!

Derek

Gainweight: Great! Spare parts for Ten! Queen: Over my dead body--! Oh, yeah...

Derek

Queen: Pick up my leg so I can kick you!

Derek

Queen: You've shattered the collective into pieces! Gainweight: I think you have more immediate problems.

scott mcclenny

Not even Picard made me fall to pieces like this!

RealmMan

G: Look whose warranty just expired! Q: I knew I should've gotten the extended service plan!

spiffy

G:Adhesion without Super Glue is futile.

Sesspit

G: Don't BBQ (Be a Borg Queen)

talshiarHQ

You should have assimilate some duct tape...

The Penguin Weekly

G: So much for an action figure.

The Penguin Weekly

G: We can make a hefty profit selling you at the Forager Gift Store.

The Penguin Weekly

G: Nice legs. I think I'll take them.

The Penguin Weekly

G: Not so ferocious anymore, are we now? BQ: Body parts . . . attack!!!

The Penguin Weekly

G: I guess assimilation really is bad for your health!

The Penguin Weekly

BQ: Wait a minute! I thought we were assimilating you!

The Penguin Weekly

G: Do you need a hand? Perhaps a torso . . . or a foot . . . maybe a leg . . .

erik

BQ: All right, all right, let's make peace. AJ: I'd rather make pieces.

The Great Wizzard

Gainweight: An unusual "Pull My Finger"-joke I must say...

The Great Wizzard

Gainweight: Next time, don't get between me and my coffee!

Ensign Walkonpart

Gainweight: Tut tut, was it something you drank? Bored Queen: Our cubes only serve decaf.

Sjerrie

Gainweight: Re-assembly is futile!

The Great Wizzard

Gainweight: Let's see how you get out of this one! Queen: No problem! I'm still under warranty.

The Great Wizzard

Gainweight: I warned you: NEVER touch The Do!

Martijn Takke

Bored Queen: DAMN you and your CUTTING remarks!

The Great Wizzard

Gainweight: You don't mind that I take some pieces of you as souvenir with me?

Joona Palaste

Bored Queen: Go ahead! Do you want a piece of me?

Curzon of Dax

Gainweight -- All the Queen's horses and all the Queen's men...

Shlamko

G: I came in peace... You go in pieces!

The Great Wizzard

Queen: Please help me! Gainweight: Ok, I'll put up a sign "Some Assembly Required"

Cmdr. Tony Q

Bored Queen : Could you hand over that screwdiver?

The Great Wizzard

Queen: I can't convince you to call the repair service when you leave?

The Great Wizzard

Queen: Ok, I admit it: you're the only one who can survive that much coffee!

The Rehashing Wizzard

There can be only one queen!

JC

Gainweight - Oh, pull yourself together!

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