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| Sev Trek: The Comic Strip This week: Crew cut! Here's another offbeat gag on Gainweight's hair (which continues to... well, yes, gain weight each time I draw it).. | ||
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| Other Punchlines | ||
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| These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline
was written by Lt. Brad Gentry. You can read the
transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the
competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and
Punchlines of the Day. | ||
 Shiro Hagen | 2: Kneelicks, this is the last time we let you use the transporter. 10: Twoblocks, you will find it was harry who'd taught him. Tomb: Well, that explains everything. | ||
kes the lil sweet ocampa | 10: so this is what sevfleet meant by 'Where no one has gone before' huh? t: That is correct. p: Hell, I don't think a hairbrush has been here before! | ||
The Grand Phoenix | Ten:This is an inefficent use of hairspray. | ||
TTFNRob | Choc:Now remember, when the Doctor comes in well all shout 'Surprise' and jump out | ||
TTFNRob | Gainweight: Keep searching! That contact lens is in there somewhere! | ||
Elmo | Ten: Why hide here? Twoblocks: With the the many recent deaths, it's logical to stay as close to the captain as possible. | ||
Gizmo | Seven: I believ I have located the missing crewmen from the last 7 seasons... | ||
Gizmo | Anyone: IWhy doesn't she follow the Starfreak directive of *baldly* going? | ||
Six Of Twenty | Ten: Not even my catsuit's this tight! Tomb: Time for a refit, Captain? | ||
Chuckotay | Chocolatey: I found my animal guide. | ||
Bishop | T: Captain, this is not what we meant by a 'crew cut' | ||
Latin From Manhattan | Twoblocks: I'm sorry, Captain, but we have searched your entire scalp and we still cannot find that pen you tucked behind your ear. | ||
Mr. Spork | Twoblocks: All attempts to find the docter have failed, but I think Mr. Kneelicks just swallowed the mobile emitter. | ||
Mr. Spork | Twoblocks: Mr Kneelicks.. eating the hair will do no good. 10:Let him try.. It's not any worse than his cooking. | ||
Robert Underwood | Twoblocks: "What happened to the captain's hair?" Ten: "It became hungry." | ||
Doxy | Twoblocks: I think It's logical to assume that Gainweight is in need of a haricut. Ten: I concur, but who's going to cut it? | ||
Renegade Borg | Ten: It's like a Borg Sphere. Only puffier. | ||
Rosie | T: Has anyone seen my phaser? 10: It appears to be within a large knot. Who has a pair of scissors? | ||
Alexander the Great | Chocalatay - Her hair is a bigger character on the show than I am. | ||
Tyrrogan | TB: These team-building exercises get stranger every year. | ||
Nate Johnson | Twoblocks: "Why hide from the Bored in here?" Ten out of Ten: "It is the only material immune to their weapons." | ||
Samurai | T: As an ancient Earth commerical organization once iterated, "Just DO it." | ||
Samurai | No Captain....we can't take A LITTLE off the top! | ||
AdmiralJQuimby | now that I have you all hair, I mean here... | ||
Lt. Brad Gentry | Ten: I believe I have found a hairline fracture in its hull. | ||
Pizman | Ten: Call the EMH. The extra-hold hairspray is having some unusual side effects. | ||
Martijn Takke | Twoblocks: Änd äll this time we thought SPACE was the final frontier! | ||
Timon Lankester | Twoblocks: So, we are going to board that kazon ship? Ten: Yes, just like in the Trojan horse | ||
Brian | Twoblocks: Mr. Parasite, I told you to avoid the static electricity anomoly! | ||
chris | Ten: Hairy, I told you. Home is NOT in here. | ||
ScottE Bemeup | Twoblocks: Captain, may I have a word? Gainweight: Not now. I've got a lot on my mind. | ||
Lt. Brad Gentry | Ten: Yes, captain, the whole crew fits nicely. | ||
Lt. Brad Gentry | Ten: I believe I have found an unlimited supply of scuttlecraft. | ||
James Steele | Don't strugle, you'll just sink faster. | ||
Jesse Shearer | Twoblocks: In theory, the captain's new hair will be sufficient shielding from further attacks... | ||
Jesse Shearer | Ten: Who's idea was it to suggest that the captain get a fro? | ||
MindMelda | Twoblocks: Mr. Kneelicks, this is no time to announce you have to go potty! Ten: Too late! | ||
The Penguin Weekly | T: Fascinating! I believe I have found a wormhole that goes straight to the Alfalfa Quadrant in here! | ||
Griffin | TwoBlocks:We must regain controll! Ten:I have programed my nanites to convert several of the nsigns into hair relaxant. | ||
Griffin | TwoBlocks: Call your hair off captain! Ten: I concur. | ||
The Penguin Weekly | T: Ow! I just stubbed my toe on a scuttlecraft! | ||
Farnell | ...and on the count of three we jump out and yell "Happy Birthday!" | ||
Scott McClenny | Ten:Unfortunately the 'Do has more personality than all of us put together! | ||
kes the lil sweet ocampa | T: Worst party. Ever. | ||
kes the lil sweet ocampa | T: I am unable to find a logical conclusion to our dilemma. 10: Comprehension is futile. | ||
Jane M. Garland | Towblocks: This is highly illogical. Ten: Keep looking, we're still short four peices for the new scuttlecraft. | ||
Art DeBuigny | Twoblocks: These caffeinated epideraml strands would make excellent armor against the Bored. Ten: The material in my catsuit is stronger. | ||
Art DeBuigny | TwoBlocks: Lt Parasite, next time you want to criticize the 'Do, please give the rest of us time to flee. | ||
Art DeBuigny | Tomb: Explore strange new worlds, they said, but this is ridiculous! | ||
Art DeBuigny | Choc: Alright! Who deactivated the ships gravity field? Chin: How was I supposed to know the 'Do had its own gravity? | ||
jkl | Gainweight: "It's time for serious changes. Computer, cut all hair!" Everyone: "NOOoooo!!!" | ||
jkl | Gainweight: Stardate 212.71; the disapearence of some members of the crew remains still unexplained... | ||
MindMelda | Chin: I told Kneelicks to quit feeding it! | ||
chris | Ten: When I suggested you make your hair shoulder length, I didn't mean ours! | ||
chris | Twoblocks: Doctor, where are you? voice (behind the hair) I'm caught in a giant tangle! | ||
chris | Ten: Is anyone done combing their section yet? | ||
chris | Ten: You were wrong, Tomb. You can't see the Alfalfa Quadrant from here. | ||
OrangeJuiceMan | So this was the REAL fate of Cuss and Measly | ||
M. Phillips | Twoblocks: I presume that it's a small universe/world after all. Ten: Please do not tempt the doctor into singing, Commander... | ||
Ryan F | T: This planet is exhibiting very strange flora and fauna. 7: Twoblocks, you're "vegetation" is trying to assimilate us! | ||
Rom-ulon | Twoblocks:We always wondered where fluidic space really was and what it was maid from. Ten:We now know it is here and it is all coffie | ||
Ego Atenji | T: This wasn't exactly the way I figured things when I said "My mind to your mind" T:And I thougt being assevilated into the Bored collective was bad... | ||
FCC | Twoblocks: "Has anyone reached the scalp yet?" | ||
Latin From Manhattan | Twoblocks: Lieutenant Torrid, where is your bat'leth? Chocolaty: Hurry up, I just found a couple of Kazon in here!! | ||
Huw Peters | Twoblocks= how do we get out of this ten 10 out of ten=persistance is futile | ||
Talashar | Tw: I fail to see why we- (Voice from inside hair): I fail to see, period! | ||
Latin From Manhattan | Ten: Captain, I believe I have found a new home for Unimatrix Zero. | ||
Frank P. DeCandia | "And Captain Kirk thought HE had trouble with Tribbles." "If this is how humans assimulate I want no part of it." | ||
Dagger3000 | Twoblocks- How did this happen? Ten of Ten- The void in her head has collapsed into a black hole! | ||
Captain Starsa | T: Captain, might I suggest that you use a shampoo that does not have 'extra body' on the label? | ||
Ben H. | Twoblocks: Facinating... Ten: Facination is irrelevant, her hair will be facsimilated. | ||
Glorendil | Ten: Listen everyone! If we wriggle all our toes together we'll create enough static electricity to make hair stand on end, thus setting us all free! | ||
Glorendil | Ten: By the estimating the gravitational field aroung her head, one can surmise her skull contains a black hole. | ||
Xenobia | Ten: I knew we were in trouble when Kneeclicks was appointed ship's hairdresser... | ||
Dave the Explosive Newt | Twoblocks: The good news is, I've found where we get all our shuttles and ensigns from. Ten: The bad news is that we'll never escape! | ||
Dave the Explosive Newt | Twoblocks: Perhaps we should have cut it before it gained it's own gravity. | ||
T'Bonz | She's been hanging around the Kazon too long | ||
T'Bonz | Grumble...I SWEAR that coffee makes it grow! | ||
T'Bonz | NEVER ride the same turbolift as Gainweight! | ||
Eskiebear | T: The Captains hair has now achieved sufficiant mass to have appreciable gravity. T: Its a pity that the atmosphere smells of hairspray. | ||
The Penguin Weekly | 10: Artificial gravity is offline. Twoblocks, please help me install this entity in the ship's floor. | ||
The Penguin Weekly | T: I believe I have found the source of all our Anomaly-of-the-Weeks (TM)! | ||
The Penguin Weekly | T: Captain, must I constantly remind you not to upset Cue? | ||
The Penguin Weekly | Kn: OK, I know that there's leola root somewhere in here . . . | ||
The Penguin Weekly | T: Well, I guess that's the last time we all get into a transploder together! | ||
The Penguin Weekly | T: So THIS is what happened to all those ensigns! | ||
K'ec | Twoblocks: Finally! A planet we can colonize! | ||
Nodrog_CRC | Gainweight: "No wonder all the other captains shaved themselves bald..." | ||
david p. | T: I believe the sevfleet biggest officer record has been taken from Squatty. | ||
Darcie | T: Humans have the strangest way of relaxing. Ten: And I thought feather pillows were overdoing it! | ||
Rom-ulon | Gainweaght: Get combing, slaves! | ||
Rom-ulon | Keelicks:I'm almost finished harvesting loose ends for tomarrow's pasta. | ||
Philip Price | Twoblocks: Currently we have found seven new alien lifeforms in your hair, captain. | ||
K'ec | Twoblocks: I claim this planet in the name of the Federation! | ||
Talashar | Gainweight: I'm gonna wash those men (and women) outta my hair! | ||
Talashar | Tw: Kneelicks, that fertalizer was for the garden, not the hair! | ||
Russell S. Boltz | Chocolatay: My peoples had a story simmilar to this... Gainweight: Here we go again. Where is the doctors singing talents when you need them... | ||
Trekmaster | Twoblocks: Intriguing. It is generating its own gravitational field. Gainweight: My neck hurts. Chin: HELP!!! | ||
Trekmaster | Twoblocks: Has anyone found the HollowDoc? 10: I wish the toycorders could penetrate deeper... | ||
Trekmaster | T: Are we doing what I think we're doing? 10: We're "Doing The 'Do"! | ||
The One and Only Q | T: Logic dictates that the Captain's hair will be unable to support us soon. 7: Logic is irrelevant. | ||
Seven Of Five | T: My lute! C: My personality! B: My Bat'leth! N: Cuss! H: My parents! T: My Sevfleet regulation handbook! 10: My spare implant! Gainweight: Great stuff, but have you found Forager yet? | ||
Seven Of Five | Twoblocks: This monthly lawnmowing of your hair is beginning to annoy the crew, Captain! | ||
Heather Nova | twoblocks: if we're playing hide-and-seek, why are we ALL hiding here? Ten: this is the one place she'll never find us... | ||
Counselor Tara Lee | Ten: Now who will take the picture for the Guinness people? | ||
Talashar | Tw: What are we doing in here? Te: Someone lost their contacts. | ||
Talashar | Te: I know I put a shuttle in here someplace... | ||
Talashar | Tw: Where is Naomi? Te: The hair absorbed her. | ||
Talashar | Te: Her hair was more efficient when she was assilimated! | ||
Xeven of Sev | Ten: Be it ever so humble, there's no place like the beehive mind! | ||
Chipper | T: Captain, your method of saving us from the bored was... unconventional. 10: but effective. | ||
Chipper | 10: "Operation Weedwhacker" has failed! T: Forager, emergency beam out! | ||
Rabbit | 2Blox: The density of this hair mass is warping light such that I can see you directly, 10. | ||
The Trivial Psychic | Twoblocks: It would seem that the weight of the many, does not excede the strength of the one. | ||
Daniel | Twoblocks: Where did the Dr. get the growth augmenting nano-probes? Ten: It must have been during my last social lesson titled: "Second Base". | ||
Delta Flyer | Twoblocks:Hey,I found a penny!, 10: Hey I found the Deltoid Flunker! | ||
Delta Flyer | 10: So this is where she hides all of the ensigns! | ||
Ted Rebo the Hun | Gainweight: Quit monkeying around and find Lt. Curry! Ten: Captain, we will need pressure suits to begin exploration of the core. | ||
Kapin Kanga | 10of10: I now know where all the scuttlecrafts have been coming from. | ||
From "Epithets Ablaze: A Ted Rebo anthology" | Chocolatey: As ranking officer here, I promise to get us all out alive. Hairy Chin: So cold... Can't... breathe... | ||
Star Trek Encyclopedia | Seven: Talk about a level 1 needle search... | ||
Star Trek Encyclopedia | Twoblocks: Amazing - the hair appears to be 90% caffein! Seven: So that's where it all goes | ||
Dak | Twoblocks: It appears we didn't lose Ensign Jones after all. Ten: Nor the slipstream technology, nor the Borg infant, nor a Kazon, apparently. | ||
Dud Rebo- *fizzle* | Twoblocks: I have found where the captain stores our plotholes. Ten: This hairstyle is the only object on the ship big enough to camouflage so many. | ||
MindMelda | Twoblocks: I believe the Captain's hair has finally attained sentience. | ||
P Swayne | Twoblocks: I think we have encountered a Dyson sphere. Ten: You blockhead! It's Gainweight's sphere! | ||
Sheepy99 | Ten: we have been assevilated by alien life form on the captains head. Twoblocks: Set phizzers to "trim" | ||
P Swayne | Gainweight: (singing) I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair! | ||
P Swayne | Twoblocks: Sevfleet said the wormhole was only big enough for one person. Ten: And this was your idea on how we could all get home? | ||
Dylan | Twoblocks: Small World. Ten: Yeah, but big hair! | ||
Jack Hammerfist | Tublocks: This is getting hairy! Ten: I think it's already got him! | ||
ScottE Bemeup | TwoBlocks: Do not struggle, or you'll sink faster. 10: Not likely. | ||
ScottE Bemeup | TwoBlocks: It appears we are all having a bad hair day. | ||
Joona Palaste | Twoblocks: I think she has more than made up for the last three captains already. | ||
a guy | t:marco! ten:polo! | ||
Megan | Twoblocks: This is illogical. It seems that she has put so much hairspray in her hair, I can't move. | ||
The Penguin Weekly | T: Fascinating! 10: What? The amazing rate of growth of the organism or the fact that it is consuming the crew? | ||
neilinoz | Two: Fascinating. This hallucination is almost real. Ten: This is an alternative universe episode. | ||
The Penguin Weekly | T: I . . . can't . . . break . . . free! 10: Persistance is futile. | ||
The Penguin Weekly | Is it really a good idea to have a giant trubble and the chief engineer so close together? | ||
The Penguin Weekly | Ooh! Ooh! I found a scuttlecraft! | ||
The Penguin Weekly | When you said we were getting a new conference room, this wasn't what I had in mind. | ||
Corsair | Ten: Now you know what assevilation feels like. | ||
The Penguin Weekly | Now I understand why you like hanging out in here, Chakolatay. | ||
The Great Wizzard | Twoblocks: I know why I prefer the old "Captain = Bald"-rule | ||
Jane M. Garland | Twoblocks: Who's foot is that that kicked me? 10: Nevermind that, who's hand is THAT? | ||
Jane M. Garland | Gainweight: What did I tell ou peolpe about touching the do? | ||
hejira | Gainweight: Did Annoyme tell a scary story again? | ||
hejira | Gainweight: There's no such thing as bed monsters. GET OUT! | ||
Leander | Kneelicks: Reminds me of that time when my cake rose too much. | ||
Amy Tyndall | Twoblocks: At this rate of growth, the hair will be large enough to plug the Bjorn wormhole in approximatly 4 hours. Ten: I think i have just found Captain Quirk - alive. Quirk from somewhere in the hair: Let..me..unwrap your..foil..foryou. | ||
The Great Wizzard | 10: I designate the Do as "Species 474747". | ||
Amy Tyndall | Ten: If it grows anymore, the Board may consider this hair for assimilation. | ||
§Sean§ | 2blox: It seems to be growing exponentially 10/10: At this rate it will fill the known galaxy in 2.34 years | ||
The Great Wizzard | 10: Not even my nanoprobes can get us out of this one. | ||
mouse - Jefferies tube 32 | Ten: There's a dame in here says she's called Cuss?!! | ||
The Great Wizzard | Twoblocks: I say we have all passed this year's safety drill successfully. | ||
Annatar The Fair | Ten: Please tell me this is not another of the Doctor's dream sequences. | ||
chris | Ten: That was a most peculiar console explosion. | ||
chris | 10: For the last time, Hairy. This is not a haystack and I am NOTa needle. | ||
Shlamko | Ten: Nope, we yet to find my implant. | ||
DoggySpew | 10 : I think we have discovered that gravitational anamoly we where looking for. | ||
Cap'n Belcher | Two: The coffee withdrawal program appears to have some nasty side-effects | ||
The Great Wizzard | Twoblocks: Captain, do we really ALL have to search Annoyme Wildman in your Do? | ||
The Great Wizzard | 10: Keep your hands where I can see them, Tomb Parasite! | ||
The Great Wizzard | Twoblocks: Captain, may I suggest having the next staff meeting in a bigger briefing room? | ||
The Great Wizzard | Twoblocks: It had to come. We're reduced to accessories! | ||
The Great Wizzard | 10: Captain, we've crossed your event horizon. We can't escape your gravitational pull anymore. | ||
The Great Wizzard | 10: It appears that resistance IS futile. | ||
The Great Wizzard | Twoblocks: Fascinating. I have found Lt. Curry. | ||
jdwiseman | Gainweight: Now that I have you all together... | ||
8 of 12 | Gravitational effects are increasing! | ||
jdwiseman | Ten: I think we've just been assimilated. | ||
jdwiseman | Twoblocks: I would suggest we stop feeding it, but that seems a bit late now. | ||
Rocky Dean | Twoblocks: There appears to be no escape. 10:Is this what everybody ment by 'fit in'? | ||
Rocky Dean | Twoblocks: It would be a shame to destroy this hair to escape. 10:your point? | ||
Rocky Dean | Twoblocks: We appear to be either on a barren planet or the captains head 10: Whats the difference? | ||
Rocky Dean | Twoblocks: Dare I look for food? 10: sustanance is futile. | ||
Infinite Improbability | T: What we do for promotions... 10: What I do to fit in... | ||
aussietrekker | Ten: The Universe continues to expand..... | ||
JC | Twoblocks: At this rate of growth, the Captain's hair will reach the Alfalfa Quadrant before we do! | ||
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