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Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

This week: Mindreading Quirk! We delve into the dark and disturbing mind of Captain Quirk (or possibly very light and airy)...


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by The Great Wizzard. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchlines of the Day.


Unforgiven

His mind is melting instead of melding!

Kuuran

Insufficient data to hypothesize.

Captain Carolyn Smith of the USS Excelsior

Fascinating. He has the body of a man, but the mind of a child

Renegade Borg

Because of this traumatic experience, I am going back to Vulcan to study the discipline of Kolinahr. I am scarred for life.

Renegade Borg

Only one question remains in my mind--how did he pass Starfleet Academy with an IQ of 66?

Jack Hammerfist

Can we discuss my literary perusals later doctor?

Jack Hammerfist

"If I only had a brain..."

Tylan

Reading? I'm Still Trying To Make A Connection.

Talashar

My mind to your ego, your ego to my mind.

Doxy

Be patient, I'm only on the third word of his thought.

MindMelda

I sense a great hunger... to direct.

James Bentley

He's forgotten his line, again.

Scott Horowitz

I am attempting to limit his overacting

ParkoiD

Things that would warp your mind

Fledrinnian

Fascinating! I suggest that it is easy to have an open mind when it is empty.

Harald Wilke

I'm am trying to accertain, Doctor, why the Captain gets all the babes.

Fledrinnian

Fascinating! 98% of his brain functions are dedicated to ego.

Fledrinnian

Logic would dictate that outside air pressure acting on the void within should cause his head to impode...

Jason

A..... Constant...... need..... to..... make..... sentences...... as....... long..... as...... possible

Davis

I... can't... read it! Too... many... pauses!

Darcie

Annoyance at the word "Fascinating". Fascinat- oh, right.

Mike Howell

Stark mediocrity!

Mike Howell

Not...reading...any...acting...talent!

Div

Several autobiographies

Kira Mae

Well, his girdle is pinching and he's a little frisky... but I'm not one of those mindreaders who points out the obvious.

T'Kath, Lady of Vulcan

Fascinating. That's two-million, seventy-thousand, ninty-nine-point-five hundred, two tumbleweeds, and the count goes on. Doctor.

ecgric

Ego... too... big... to... handle!!! (Yes that's spooks punchline)

T'Rowa

Aha! I thought so. He pre-rips his shirts and sticks them back together with weak adhesive.

T'Rowa

"This Space for Rent."

Doxy

It appears to be a conversation between his two brain cells.

kuuran

The mind of a thirteen year old male.

kuuran

We must preemptively strike against TekWar!!

kuuran

He's grateful they only have $4.95 to spend on female costumes.

kuuran

A book: 'Fighting Harassment suits for Dummies'.

EvilDevil

Either I am illiterate or he is really a dummy

Sirrta

It's only been 10 minutes, doctor...give me time to finish the first sentence

Tyler Stewart

Fascinating. I sense absolutely nothing.

Laurel

Please, doctor, let's not make this X-rated!

Jay Richards

It's life Doctor, but not as we know it!

EvilDevil

Colorful methafors are not sufficient to describe it...

Art DeBuigny

I....could have...been....doing Shake...speare!.........Get.....a Life!

The One and Only Q

Green... Women... are everywhere... in my... mind.

Evertred

Just Static.

Chopin

Prime ... directive ... To rip .. new shirts... Seek out ... new redshirts ... to boldly ... talk in slowmotion...

MindMelda

A irrational desire to make out with alien women.

Talashar

A strong desire to reproduce...is that the tribble or the captain?

Ariana

Yeoman Randy, Oohlala, green slave girl, the list goes on and on...

troy

Space, the final frontier.......

§Sean§

Just a whole lotta nuthin'

Joona Palaste

Masses of testosterone.

Jack Hammerfist

No signs of intelligent life, Doctor!

Chunky Bob

need... stronger.... fabric in..... my...... shirts!

NovaFlash

A scientific breakthrough, Doctor. There is something emptier than space.

kuuran

He's plotting to steal my hair

NovaFlash

I see your humour is developing, Doctor.

NovaFlash

No brain, no real hair, no shirt.. and yet he lives.

NovaFlash

Curious. This deserves scientific study. A complete void.

NovaFlash

Fascinating. It appears space is not the final frontier after all.

NovaFlash

Shhtt.. quiet, doctor. The search is long and hard.

NovaFlash

Hubba hubba...

Kuuran

Interesting... something about royalties, tek, and 50 dollar autographs

Kuuran

It's not.... logical.... negative knowledge.... just melding with him has made me a worse actor

Logicalwolf

Unfortunately very little. His toope is giving off heavy interfearence.

Logicalwolf

Quirk, the unabridged version.

Logicalwolf

How to become a starship captain by breaking ever rule in the book.

Logicalwolf

That's one large little black book.

Logicalwolf

It's not Shakespear, that is for sure.

Logicalwolf

I have the sudden urge to find a tub of maple syrup and.... never mind.

Doxy

His thoughts are too primitive to be conveyed vebally.

Hector F

i see women in all colors and shapes!

T'Kath, Lady of Vulcan

Getting ideas...about ..directing..

The Penguin Weekly

I read him like a book. A coloring book.

Kitana

I don't know, but I have the sudden urge to go find a green woman...

T'Kath, Lady of Vulcan

The memories this guy has!

The Penguin Weekly

She is the traitor! Oh, wait . . . we're not in the movies yet.

Kitana

I'd say, but then this punchline wouldn't be considered...

The Penguin Weekly

Quiet! I'm still looking for a mind to melt with!

The Penguin Weekly

I don't know . . . the impulses . . . have failed to travel . . . from his mind . . . to my mind . . . as of this moment . . .

The Penguin Weekly

The ego . . . is overloading . . . my synapses . . .

The Penguin Weekly

It wants to reproduce. As for the trubble . . .

The Penguin Weekly

I read no intelligent life here. As for the trubble . . .

ezzadax

This book only has pictures

T'Kath, lady of Vulcan

Just as I thought...Empty!

T'Kath, Lady of Vulcan

Seeing if I can speed up his speeches....

Khalas

A midlife crisis coming on. My own, that is.

Lt. Cervy

Nothing PG rated!

Lt. Cervy

101 Ways to seduce Women

LMRS

The plot to his next TEKWAR book

Capt. Bob. (Hey, I'm down wit' ESP)

Must get green alien babes.

Cotku

The draft for Generations, *I'm* not in it!

Cotku

Bad grammar. Gym, it's "to *go* boldly..."

Infinite Improbability

I can't get through! I guess he really is a tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood!

Cotku

"Men are from earth, Women are from Orion"

Cotku

"How to ... pick up ... alien women."

Darcie

what could only be described as "potty humor"

Darcie

Well, I'll have to use one of your old Earth quotes: "Blessed are the shallow; depth they'll never find..."

Darcie

Air....

Mark

I will never be promoted.

Mark

I need a cold shower!

Nodrog_CRC

The most powerful ego in the known universe.

Nodrog_CRC

His life is an open book... of blank pages.

Nodrog_CRC

I sense a great intellect... huge stores of knowledge... and vague resentment that it's stuck being Quirk's toupee.

Michael Kraft

I .. can't .. break .. through .. his .. ego.

ScottE Bemeup

I will not expound, but as of this moment it sucks to be me.

ScottE Bemeup

If I were not without emotion, I would be exceedingly ill.

Agent-D

Not much, even his thoughts are as slow as his speaches

Agent-D

Additions and corrections to the Karma Sutra

Guilherme Silva

Babes, long speechs, more babes, rippint shirts, more babes... shall I go on?

Spiner

Nothing. The pages are blank!

Infinite Improbability

A complete list of everyone he's slept with. I am now up to the C's.

P-feif

There are millions of women's phone numbers in here.

ScottE Bemeup

A great calm. As if there was no activity whatsoever.

ScottE Bemeup

It's too early to tell for sure, but there may be intelligent life present.

ScottE Bemeup

Nothing. He is either exceedingly clever or incredibly stupid.

TEFII

Reading? This is the Vulcon death grip.

Jay Berryhill

All I get is, "I'm too sexy for my shirt"

JO

Does the word "priceline.com" mean anything to you?

ibwolf@ ibwolf.cjb.net

It's . . . coming . . . very . . . slowly . . .

as

The tribble is in command, Gym is apparently just a puppet....

as

get the phaser, he's planning to release another album

Powerlord

An irresistible urge to go look for the alien babe of the week.

Rabbit

WAZZAAAAAAPP!!!

Zathras

fas .............. cin................... nate ............. ting

Infinite Improbability

No, no! He's got the Beverly Hillbillies theme song stuck in my head!

Infinite Improbability

Nothing, it's almost as if there's a bunch of rocks in there!

Renegade Borg

Three cavities. Are you sure you've been flossing, Captain?

Joeno

Someone needs to clean the cobwebs in there.

Renegade Borg

His mind is like concrete slab--devoid of thought, heavy, hard as a rock.

Captain Sevway

"Set sensors to babe-scan!"

Brian

Fascinating. He actually has long pauses between thought fragments!

The Great Wizzard

I'm beginning to suspect that if you look into his left ear, you can see right through the other side...

Ann E. Nichols

The captain's ego has reached critical mass.

ScottE Bemeup

"Space, the find in his ears."

Ann E. Nichols

As we suspected, the captain has no mind to read.

Ann E. Nichols

S: Had I emotions, I would be registering disgust, loathing, and repugnance. Fascinating.

Captain Starsa

I am not 'reading' anything, I just thought that Gym could do with a facelift

The Great Wizzard

Libido 67%. Ego 29%. Common sense 4%.

The Great Wizzard

"My mind.... the final.... frontier..... These...." I think I found the reason for his speech-style.

Corsair

Give me a minute, it's a mess in there.

The Great Wizzard

It's life, Doctor, but not as we know it!

Leander

How to rip a shirt in two seconds.

The Penguin Weekly

I am reading a strong repulsion between the captain and his clothing.

The Penguin Weekly

I read cancellation if I speak further.

The Penguin Weekly

It's just like reading a romance novel.

The Penguin Weekly

Let's just say he's in eternal Ponn Far.

The Penguin Weekly

Sorry, I can't get through that thick skull.

The Penguin Weekly

My mind to your mind . . . hmmmm . . . I can't seem to find it.

The Penguin Weekly

His ego is overwhelming me.

The Great Wizzard

A list of names: Janice, Christine, Nyota, Carol, Helen, Elizabeth, Miri, Edith, Miramanee, Elaan, ...

Ken Dillon

I'm trying to find out where he has hidden my spare ears

The Great Wizzard

An irrational fear of baldness and weight

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