|Sev Trek: The Comic Strip|
This week: Assevilated Gainweight! This is a cartoon I've been looking forward to drawing for a while - Gainweight assevilated and without hair! Of course you didn't think I would still miss out on the chance of drawing a huge head.
|Other Punchlines||These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline
was written by FCC. You can read the
transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the
competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and
Punchlines of the Day.|
C: This will take a drastic measure. T:Set phizzers to Decaf!
Ten:Told you she was jealous Chocolatay:Look, captain, there's only one borg for me
She's gonna need one hell of a trubble to cover that!
C: I thought they said she had been assimilated?! T: Incorrect, the captain is just having a bad hairday.
C (to G:) When I told you I fancied the Bored look, I actually meant Ten.
C: How do you turn her off S: I never thought i'd hear a male say that.
C: Saccharin!! No!!! I love you!! T: It appears the Captain has been assimilated G: Resolution is futile!
C: Alright, as soon as we get her back, we're restricting her caffiene intake.
C: Where are all the other drones? T: They are making new nanoprobes to comensate for the ones used to assimilate her hair.
C: How come her boobs aren't enhanced? S: She used her Bored resources on the 'do'.
Ten: Gainweight has been assevilated! Chocolatey: Are you sure? I'm pretty sure Knee-licks is having a de-caf week...
C: So now she's their queen? T: The beehive hair kinda gave it away.
C:I've heard of bringing your work home with you but that's ridiculous!
C: We've got to free her from the Bored Ten: You just want to put her in a catsuit too
i have $1,000.00 and you dont!!
Choclatay:How will we make her human again? Ten:We'll offer her coffee.
C: Seven, I think we found our new uniforms.
chocolatay: set phizzers to scalp
Ten: Kill her quickly! Aim for the caffine injectors!
Chocolatay: By the spirits they even Assevilated the Do! Ten: My estimates are the Bored were going to use it as an auxiliairy Sphere
C: If the Bored assevilated the captain, would't they know what we were planning? 10: Ex-nay on the ot-holeplay
What happened to the Captain?/They assimulated her along with Shatner's ego.
C: Stand back, I'll stun her. T: Aim for the percolator.
S: I never knew lack of coffee could have this effect on the captain
C: So that's what they mean when they say that being Captain can go to your head
Chok : The new Bored Queen? Ten : Don't knock it, they've had to scrap 30 Cubes to make her crown
At least I pulled the borg look off!
Ten: "Captain, I did warn you not to pick at it".
"Seven, what's happened to the Captain?" "Well, she's always wanted to get a head of the Borg. Now she's got one."
C:Blech! T: Your remark is imprecise but appropriate.
C: My god! The captain has been assimilated! T: I thought she just forgot her morning coffee.
Spirits! She only spent an hour in the Borg Beauty Parlor!//You should see a Borg wax job.
C: I can't believe I was ever attracted to that! 10: I can't believe she didn't invite me to the assimilation party!
Gainway: You will be percolated...decaf is futile!!!
C: Now I know how we can beat the Bored! Ten: Yes! We deprive them of caffeine!
Chocolatay: "So you finally got them to install a caffeine IV?"
Ten: Conditioning is futile. Chocolatay: Bad hair day, Captain?
Dave the Explosive Newt
T: This would explain the cubes filled with coffee we met a while back.
C:My God!She's been assevilated!!!! T: "Correct, butat least I have the implants that matter!"
Blaze of Maquis
C: That's it, I'm dumping you for Ten T: (It worked...)
The Penguin Weekly
C: This reminds me of a story my people have . . . T: Look, Chocolatay. She's already Bored.
The Penguin Weekly
T: I see they're growing a new Bored Sphere.
The Penguin Weekly
T: How does she stay upright?
The Penguin Weekly
C: I don't know what I ever saw in her. T: A promotion, obviously.
The captain's a Bored!! // Of course she's aboard- she's right. . .oh, I see your point.
C: How'd her head swell up like that? T: Hanging around with the producers.
C: That's Gainweight, all right! T: I TOLD you she'd a swelled head.
C:This is terrible! T: The style doesn't work for everyone.
T: Do we get to shoot her? T: If I ever look like that, please do!
So much for the Bored look being "sexy!" T: It's TOTALLY last century!
Chocolatay: I hope she gets a catsuit after that.
R of A
C: looks like they'll be replacing the alcoves with coffee machines.
C: Can you return her to normal? T: And lose the coffee surplus we now enjoy? Never!
C: Can you return her to normal? T: What do I look like? A head shrink?
C: Can you return her to normal? T: It's that or have 2.7 million gallons of useless hairspray in the cargo hold.
C: Can you return her to normal? T: Sure. I'll need a needle, a crowbar, and some hair extensions.
choco:Its no good, we have to shoot the captain! ten: Aim low, she's still invulnerable above the hairline...
10: Is the captain assevilated? C: Na. That's how she looks without coffee.
C: From now on, it's only decaf for her!
Ten: This won't do much good for the collective's fashion sense.
c: Well, if assimilation doesn't get her bald, nothing will
Chocolatay: See what happens when Gainweight doesn't get her coffee?
Chocolatay : What are we supposed to do ? Ten : Prepare for some bad hairdays...
C: She's been turned into a Bored drone! T: Now she knows how the rest of the crew feels.
C: "Black and white, and claimiung to be the queen..." T: "Yes, I am reminded of the Spider Queen / Captain Photon holodeck episode also."
C: "Remember, don't fire untill you see the white of her... um...."
C: "Hey, *I* was the one who was supposed to get hair plugs!"
Chocolatay: Aye caramba! Ten: You should see the new coffee maker the Borg are building
The Great Wizzard
C: I knew it! It couldn't be hair! 10: It took you 6 seasons to find out?
C: THat new hairdresser has a lot to answer for. 10: Another hair-do down the tubes!
C: Electrifying hair-do, captain. 10: When I suggested extensions I didn't mean....
Ten: There's only room for one catsuit on board.
Ten: They had to assevilate her hair separately!
Chocolatay: What do these drones run on? Ten: Coffee.
The Borg King
Chocolatay: The Bored have taken Gainweight's hair, 10 of 10: Wasn't that Pinchhard's excuse.
C: I see the Bored were unsuccessful with assimilating the hair! T: Yes, her head does seem a little large!
C: So this explains why the bord assevilated planet "Java"
G: Lower your shields and surrender your coffee beans
C: What is that? T: the captain has become the coffee maker
C: "Doesn't this cube have 5000 drones?" T: "Correct...1 is here and 4999 are sweeping up the hair."
C: Apparently follicles are futile
Chocolatay: They've assevilated Gainweight! Ten: Now who has more hair?
Ten: Did I look that bad as a Bored? C: Never!
C.- "I knew defeating the Bored so many times would give her a big head!"
C.- "Alright, Brainiac- hand over the Captain!" Ten- "Uh, Commander...."
C.- "What happened?" Ten- "She should have quit while she was a 'head'."
C.- "Captain Brainweight!- I mean Gainweight!" Ten- "You were right the first time."
Chocolatay- "It wasn't hair! It was a huge head!" Ten- "Yes, she's had a crew-cut all along."
C: They even assimilated her hair? T: You wouldn't believe how many new species they found
C: "So that's why Sev Fleet captains are bald!" T: "Correct. They are all bored."
C: They moved all her excess weight to her head! 10: I chose another place.
sredni in MO
Alright, fork over the..uhm fork.
Chocolatay - Hmm...cold demeanor, bad hair, sounds like a robot. You sure she's been assimilated? Ten - She isn't asking for any coffee.
Ten: This is what happens when you deny your 10-cup-a-day caffine habit
Ten: Now that's what I call a bunful of wires
The Great Wizzard
10: They assevilated The Do? That explains the sudden power surge
C: WHAT happened? Ten: I TOLD her never to use nanoprobes to give her hair more body!
Ten: I looked like THAT? Chocolatay: Ah Gainweight, I have other plans for lunch...you busy Ten?
Ten: Tell me I didn't look THAT bad C: So - how's the weather?
C: What are all those tubes in her head? Ten: They pipe in coffee
C: That was an overly elaborate scheme to get rid of her. T: So, we're on for tonight, then?
C: My God, she's been assimilated! T: Yeah, the poor collective. Now they'll be obsessed with coffee and hairspray.
C: Was her head always that big? T: You thought that was HAIR?
The Great Wizzard
10: Judging from what's going on here I'd say The Do has become the new Queen.
The Great Wizzard
C: I warned her asking the Bored for coffee wasn't such a good idea...
C: I see the Bored won. T: That's a matter of perspective; now the entire collective is hooked on coffee and obsessed with finding more hairspray.
10: Hairspray is futile
C: Looks like being Captain really did go to her head! T: This also explains why her hair never moves..
C: Thats it! No more coffee for me. T: The Bored are no doubt pumping coffee directly into her bloodstream.
C:Boy! Makes me glad I went for you Ten! T:Yes, you should never have a relationship with someone unless you've seen how they look as a Bored.
C: What is is with bald Captains? G: Resistance is futile.
C: Sev Fleet captains that meet the Bored always get assimulated at some point. T: it's our prime directive
C: "Hair-raising!" T: "Bride of Locutus?"
Ten: I knew the 'Do was all hairspray, no actual bulk!
Chocolatay: Her new hairstyle is quite interesting. Ten: Please, it's all accessories!
C: Why the swelling? T: Failure of ego containment.
C: Does assevilation always cause swelling? T: No, but captaincy does.
8 of 12
C: The rumours are true! 10: She had a crewcut all along!
C: Hairspray is irrevelevant? 10: Growth is futile
Chocola: And I thought her other hairstyle was bad!
Ten: Looks like the Hair Club for Borg finally has some hair to use.
C: What's the deal with her hand? T: She's been turned into a Swiss Army borg.
C: OH my god,it's the captain/T: It seems her hair has grown INWARD!!!
C: "Our weapons are having no effect!" T: "Next time, lets bring Phizzer rifles instead of her hair dryers!"
G: "Resistance is futile!" C: "Revulsion is automatic!"
C: "Well, at least we found the cause of the gravitational annomolies..."
G: "Resistance is futile." C: "How about nausea?"
Either: You would have thought with a brain that big, that we would've gotten home sooner
Well, there's goes my appetite...
Sev Wide Web | Index | Toon Zone | Sev Shop | What's New | Contact Us
Sev Trek Comp | Scifi Comp | Pits Comp | Twist Comp | Sunday Comp
Sev Trek | Sev Files | Sevgate | Fraud of the Rings | Bluffy | Sev Wars | Sevylon 5 | Pits | Twist | Sevloid Chronicles
The Sev Wide Web and all content within are © Copyright 2000 by John Cook.
None of my material can be used on any other site without prior permission from the author.
However, feel free to link to my site from yours.