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Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

This week: Zephyr Cockroach launching eccentricities! Even when launching the historical first warped drive flight, Zephyr Cockroach has to infuse the launch with his own brand of quirky character building personality.


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by Jack Hammerfist. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchlines of the Day.


John Gipson

We've got to let it warm up first.

Rick Mackey

Your seats haven't been put in their full, upright position!

eric zuiderduin

There is an old earth phrase "first drink, then drive"

Ninoslav Jovancev

There is a cockroach in my seat! That was supposed to be a joke....you're pathetic

R. Foresman

Can't say -- Technobabble hasn't been invented yet.

Pizman

Those eyes your friend has give me the creeps! Get him some sunglasses!

Jeff B Sanders

We forgot to wind the rubber band

BK

No naked women and no money means no flight, Hair Face!

Spiner

Too much weight. You gotta shave your beard!

Spiner

I let my driver's license expire!

Spiner

We're too close to the consoles!

Spiner

Are you sure I wasn't supposed to invent the "flux capacitor"?

Spiner

We need 1.21 gigawatts. Know when lightning will strike?

Spiner

I left the fuel cap off!

Spiner

I gotta practice that Velcron hand salute you told me about!

Blaze of Maquis

a malfunction of the inverted regurgitating debobulator

Blaze of Maquis

Because we need a cursing android!

Jack Hammerfist

I decided your future sucks!

Infinite Improbability

Do you really want a drunk flying a ship at warp speed?

Jim

I can live with the statue. But I refuse to spend 150 years on a planet with a love-struck cloud!

Jim

You're the director. You should know the Bored are up there waiting to shoot us down.

Darcie

Um, I will end up on a planet with a beautiful girl, right?

Darcie

Ask reading-rainbow boy if he's detecting a leak. He'll know what I mean

Doxy

Blind boy is giving me the creeps!

P-feif

Gaudy sealed my leak, but I think the damn is about to burst!

Gul Teral

I don't know about you, but I would prefer that we open the hatch on the missilehole first.

Gul Teral

Because one of you two geniuses forgot to turn off the light yesterday, and now the battery is dead.

SKATTA

We need a longer extension cord.

aussietrekker

We need to lose 110 kilos, any volunteers, Chubby??

Den Erik

I just realise that i first needed to invent a fuel

Mike Howell

Because certain "backseat drivers" haven't flipped the "on" switch yet!

Sean Godley

I'm starting to sober up and see the plot holes.

david p

Dammit, I'm a drunk, not a pilot!

david p

Tryhard told me this timeline results in a kid named cruncher...

Doxy

We're missing our comic relief character.

Darcie

'Cause Barfly has told me to much about your future. I'm not actually gonna be IN the statue- am I?

Jack Hammerfist

We need a cheap single to push the soundtrack!

Nodrog_CRC

You're SURE that alien ship is full or Orion slave girls who want to learn about kissing?

Mark

I need my Yeoman!

Mr. Spork

That guy's eyes are really creeping me out!

Powerlord

No one turned on the inflight movie!

Latin From Manhattan

Because one of you young punks is kicking the back of my chair!

Doug Wilson

I left the keys in my other pants!

chrifgo

Precipitance is futile.

Den Erik

Hey, I'm about to make history, you're not!

TEFII

Picard and my ship are having a Moment.

Lorin Silver

I forgot to take the nozzle out of the gas tank!

Sam McEvoy

Look, one of my co-pilots has already shot me once and the others a bling man. You think of a better reason!

Nodrog_CRC

The sanitary lemon-scented napkins have yet to be loaded. (HGTTG ref)

Nodrog_CRC

Someone has to play the theme music before I can engage the warp drive. Don't you guys ever watch the intro?

Nodrog_CRC

We have to wait for all the little lights to blink in sequence.

Sindak

I don't fly with a blind pilot.

The Great Wizzard

Why are you so much pushing it? Are you on some kind of Sev Trek or what?

T'Bonz

No Babe on board!

Potswilly

I need to take a leak. Don't shoot me this time, okay?

Potswilly

I have to play my hundred year old music first.

Samurai

I drank the rocket fuel when we ran out of scotch...

Samurai

Gaudy, I need to go take a dump....

Michael Kraft

Someone needs to go outside and light the fuse.

Zachary Whitlow

How do I know your captain isn't hitting on my girlfriend up there?

Derek

Taking off would put us one step closer to the end of this movie, thus putting us that much closer to Indigestion!

Derek

Because I have an obnoxious backseat driver behind me who questions everything I say!

Vicki

I never found that leak.

Kirk's Wig

I need to make a long-winded, cliched speech about how this is one step for me, one giantpaycheck for me... No1: Money? Again? Geordi, didn't you tell him there was no money in the future? Geordi: Nah, I thought it'd be fun to see him blow 8 billion dollars

Kirk's Wig

We need to install the emergency auto-pilot feature...a blow-up doll

T'Bonz

VERY funny...some $#@% swapped "Space Oddity" for "Magic Carpet Ride"

T'Bonz

Some wiseguy slipped Brittney Spears in my CD-player again!

T'Bonz

I've never flown SOBER

T'Bonz

I just failed the breathalyzer test

T'Bonz

I forgot my special trip blankee

Rat Boy

You haven't stored your luggage in the overhead bin!

Infinite Improbability

You need to leave. Troi told me how you crashed the last ship you were on.

Jim

I don't know how to fly this thing. I just built it.

Jim

Z: Won't you two being here change history or something? G: As if we've ever worried about that before.

Jim

Someone doesn't have his tray-table in the full upright and locked position

Jim

You shot me and I never made it to the bathroom

Rabbit

You haven't said the magic word!

The Trivial Psychic

I can't think of a catchphrase to use when we do.

Jack Hammerfist

Remember that leak I told you about?

jdwiseman

We paid good royalties for "Magic Carpet Ride" and we're going to use it!

Londo Moelarry

I need to get my bottle of....uh.... "rocket fuel".

talshiarHQ

Every ship needs a babe on board.

frosthsky

I don't want backseat drivers. Get out!

Zathras

I have to make sure Dr. Smith isn't on board

Lt. Commander Mark Ivey

I left the key's for this thing in my other coat!

Dak (Is this starting a trend for Sevfleet?)

I don't see seatbelts back there!

FCC

I forgot the keg!

ScottE Bemeup

I forgot my companion.

P Swayne

I'm plastered! Get a designated driver!

Vik

Zephyr: Because Tryhard is still drunk and she has hidden in the warp engine. Piker and Gaudy: Sooooo???

Nodrog_CRC

I can't remember which console I rigged to explode if we're attacked.

Nodrog_CRC

We don't have any ensigns aboard... I'll need to disable the exploding console.

Nodrog_CRC

For some reason, the passenger ejection system isn't working!

Nodrog_CRC

I haven't played my rock and roll yet! And no nerve pinching!

Nodrog_CRC

I have a strict no-beards policy!

Haesan

I have to go potty!

Nick "Naraht" Frame

One of us has to tug his shirt, and say "Engage!"

Scott McClenny

You're sitting on my good luck autographed picture of Gilligan!

Cpt Thomas

Umm... Sevspace ??? (witness the creation of the classic excuse !!!)

Cpt Thomas

It's either a warpdrive or toilets; you choose...

Cpt Thomas

This is the first of a new generation of spaceships: no toilets aboard

The Retaliator

"I need to pull back the rubber band."

The Retaliator

"I forgot to pee."

The Penguin Weekly

Actually we can, but we need some suspence to keep the audience entertained.

Dave the Explosive Newt

My blood alcohol level is too low!

§Sean§

I haven't got my free bag of peanuts yet

§Sean§

I drank all the rocket fuel last night

§Sean§

Has anyone got a match to light this thing?

Jim McNamara

Let's see your tickets first.

Jim McNamara

Make sure there's beer in the fridge.

Jim McNamara

I want to make sure no one is going to sing,

Bobby

I just decided...I don't won't to be a historic figure,just a regular drunken slob's good enough for me

Bobby

I just remembered I am afraid of heights

Bobby

I forgot to take my air sickness pills

Ken G

You haven't said "Make it so" like Pickhard does.

Mark

I need to see your tickets.

Mark

I became sober.

Mark

Potty check!

Art DeBuigny

My pet pig isn't on board yet!

Art DeBuigny

Have you seen the price of gas lately? Maybe it will come down in a few months.

Art DeBuigny

Because I can't find my keys!

Art DeBuigny

It just now occured to me that I was drunk when I designed this thing!

Cmdr. Solomon

You two don't have your seatbelts buckled.

littlestar

Gaudy: It's his nose! It's too big! We'd never escape the gravity well!

Kalahari Karl

I can't find an appropriate soundtrack for this flight...

The Great Wizzard

You're on the wrong side of the camera, director!

aussietrekker

...because this is my big scene in the movie Mr Director, remember? So shut up and let me do my lines!!!!!

The Great Wizzard

We forgot the Fuzzy Dice!

The Great Wizzard

Major Tom to Ground Control: can I take off now? The extra weight is making trouble!

The Great Wizzard

The battery's low. One of you has to get out and jump start us!

§Sean§

This thing runs on Windows98 - we have to get out, close all the doors, and then get back in again before we can go

§Sean§

Customs wants to talk to me about my 16 bottles of "duty free" Scotch

The Great Wizzard

I changed my mind. If it ends with a statue...

The Great Wizzard

We're too heavy! So get out of here, fatso!

The Great Wizzard

I forgot to fuel it!

The Great Wizzard

I lost the ignition key

The Great Wizzard

Resistance is futile!

The Great Wizzard

We forgot the "barf bags"

The Great Wizzard

I forgot to turn the gas off at home

The Great Wizzard

The Flight Attendants have to explain the Emergency Procedures first

Back Sev Trek: The Comic Strip Next


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