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Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

This week: Shortened Jurassic Mission! The famous Jurassic intro talks of a "5 year mission". Why then did the show only last 3 years? Perhaps you can come up with a reason that sounds better than "not enough people were watching us".


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by imq2u. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchlines of the Day.


NeonLizard

The red shirts got a lawyer

NeonLizard

How was I suposed to know you can't give away the props!

NeonLizard

I knew I shouldn't have "boldly gone" that far!

Doxy

If you include the movies we're running overtime.

Doxy

The Klingoffs need the next two years to change foreheads.

Shlamko

We've hit the silver screen!

silverpanther

Apparently the fine print says: "five year mission... or until you run out of ensigns"

silverpanther

We breached clause 47 of paragraph 47..."misuse of redshirts"

silverpanther

Is that what we're doing? They told me I was moving to a bigger office!

Melvyn the Trill

squatty was right - she couldn't take it any more

innocent bystander

There's just not enough "new life" in this galaxy.

Huw Hay

I got though my lines faster than they were expecting

Brandon Amaro

You left your brain in San Francisco.

Gideon

It has been five years. Everyone slept through the first two seasons.

Kaz

We blew the Effyprize's no-claim bonus

Kaz

Three years of travel, two years of paperwork

the giraffe

Well, we ARE stealing the props, right?

Jim

I...just...can't...hold...my stomach in...any...longer!

Mark

That green woman I snogged was the producer's daughter.

Mark

Arther C. Clarke explained why we were impossible.

Uhura

I... got... Mr. Scott's estimate ...and... as usual... he exaggerated.

MindMelda

A guy can only take so much pointy-eared advice!

Cmdr. Solomon

The sponsors found out that you scare little children.

99 1/2 of 100

we ran out of latex ears!

krister

The warranty on my hair just expired. It was one of a kind.

Fox

They realised I was more dangerous than the Klingons

Trekmaster

Just look at our new hull registry: NBC-1701

T'Bonz

It's an evil human custom, called "ratings"

T'Bonz

Yeomand Rand transferred off the ship

Admiraljquimby

Its been three? its hard to tell with this sevdate system

MindMelda

You were horning in on my screen time, Mister!

Doxy

I don't think I could handle the impending Klingoff evolution.

Doxy

Our crew was becoming higher maintenance than the ship.

Captain Carolyn Smith of the USS Excelsior

Fuzzy Math

sig.

It will take two years to write the report for starfleet.

Zlav

Ok, so my estimation was a bit off, but we can't all be perfect like you, Mr. Smarty Pants!

DoggySpew

The writers had too much Trubbles .

Vik

Instead of Bored Queen we have Harry Mudd, instead of an android or a hologram we have Sulu, and instead of Ten out of Ten we have YOU!!!

Michael Possingham

People started noticing that your ears were fake

Farnell

What do you know, it's a small galaxy after all

Leander

We'll do the last two years in the Motion Picture.

Tom Patterson

No fuel, I got hungry and ate the dilithium crystals.

Little green man

Don't worry our next mission is to the "Syndication" nebula

Jodocus

I didn't realize the galaxy was so boring!

meggy eel

I've been gouged by those ears for the last time, Spook!!

Lee M. Goswick

Apparently, there is something called the "Prime Directive"...

Lee M. Goswick

It took less time than expected to have every type of woman in the galaxy.

OptimalOp

If I.. told you, I'd.. have.. to dress you... in a.. red uniform.

aussietrekker

Being that I'm so talented they said it would be a crime not to let me go.....

Mark

We can break the laws of physics, but not economics.

Nick

The bugget didn't cater for all these warp core breaches

frosthsky

I boldly went too far

EvilDevil

I always wanted to sing, direct, and do commercial! I need more time!

Hakuna222

There are no more alien women to conquer...er contact...

Me

At warp, time goes faster!

Yorick

I ran out of alien babes

meggy eel

Geez, it felt like forever!

meggy eel

Turns out the universe was smaller than we thought

meggy eel

We're just having the Enterforaprize cleaned.... for 12 years

Spockman#77

I was running out of shirts!

Kerry Boyd

The blondes....went...on strike.

Mike Howell

We were beaten by a more powerful foe than in all the galaxy: ratings.

Ben

I'm not waiting around until the Trubbles regroup.

Khalas

They finally caught on to me cheating at the Sev Academy.

Khalas

SevFleet ran out of spare ensigns.

Ben

Do you think I'm going to wait around for Q to show up?

OptimalOp

Third time wasn't the charm, I guess.

Joel

Because they can't pay me enough to work with you.

tarquindarkling

Time dilation. You do the math.

Travis Loughary

Spook, I got fat.

Sheepy99

Money, do you know how much it takes to run cardboard with blinking lights?

Sheepy99

One of thoes green alien babe's dad works at NBC

Leann

I couldn't hold my tummy in any longer

Crack Ferret

Starfleet wants to change uniform styles again.

P-feif

We're fresh out of ensigns.

P-feif

Safety reasons.... After Squatty lost that fingure....

Pizman

Actually, our mission DID take five years, but it only had three years worth of material.

P-feif

My wig looks nappy and your ears are drooping.

trebor

Think! We'll have to wear RED now!

Zlav

The need for a movie outweighs the needs of the series

Crazy Velcron

The continuity generator was turned off.

Chimera

There weren't enough alien babes out there to last another 2 years

47 of 1701

I... managed... to deliver... all my.... lines... before the... deadline.

Latin From Manhattan

We were only budgeted for two years to begin with; we never would have made it this far without those darn kids writing in!!

MindMelda

You know that TV time is compressed!

Mark Ivey

Ratings Spock, and if you dare say 'Fascinating' then I'll not rescue you in the third movie!

Zathras

I had it in my contract that I could direct years 4 and 5

Brian

To boldly go where man HAS goe before: syndication!

Brian

They... alotted... too... much... extra time for... my lines!

FCC

We're not paramount at Paramount.

chris

They thought a galaxy of women would last me at least *that* long...

Joseph

Because no one could find the toilet.

J

Ahh, we boldly tried and we boldly failed!!!

J

I plan to keep fit and write a series of quality science fiction books!!!

Alicat

We ran out of colours for the alien babes

P Swayne

Have patience, Spook. Movies pay more than TV.

Doxy

My hair line couldn't handle five.

Psycho Q

We ran out of lightbulbs for the Enterprise computers

Trevor Raggatt

They spent the other two years' budget buying me new shirts

Trevor Raggatt

My wig and my paunch demanded separate billing

Polgara

The costume department ran out of my shirts.

Polgara

We're... simply... not.... fascinating... enough!

Haesan

We must wait. The fans do not yet know their power.

Haesan

Tribbles have been declared an endangered species; I can't get toupees anymore.

Edward

The studio couldn't afford to keepn replacing my hairpieces

spiffy

It took me a whole season to finish one line!

spiffy

You enjoyed eating three years of replicator food?

spiffy

They revoked the two-year contract on my hair.

spiffy

The Enterforaprize ran out of warranty.

T'Rowa

Shhhhh! No one's supposed to notice that part, except those horrible non-canon novelists!

Nico

They said my pauses made it seem like five.

Guilherme Silva

You're... forgeting... the time.... between... my speechs...

Mr. Spork

I went over my speech limit.

Mr. Spork

Our new mission: To badly act where no one has badly acted before. In other words it's movie time..

erik

I already finished *my* mission -- to kiss the daughter of every alien leader in the quadrant!

B&B

Hmrph... when we go into movies you'll be begging to stop at three!

Rabbit

Couldn't pay off the sexual harrassment suits.

Rabbit

We surrendured to the warriors of Nielson VI.

erik

Actually, we ran completely out of ideas. But don't worry, that won't cause any future series to end early!

erik

What do you think, Spook, that people want to watch me running a starship until I'm old and gray?

erik

Well, I wanted to be remembered as a dashing athletic type with a full head of hair, but you see how that turned out...

erik

You did watch the third season, didn't you, Mr. Spook?

princesstulip

I'm no longer a sex symbol.

kmk

The viewers got time off for good behaviour.

Janak Desai

My...hair..line was ...begining...to recede.

Thwarted Rebo- Oh, pooh.

Yeoman Randy's restraining order, Mr. Spook. Now pass those ears and call me Kirkock, and we can work around this yet!

Jennifer Sofia

Sev fleet wants my butt for repeatively breaking the P.C. directive and over populating the galixcy.

Renegade Borg

If ignorance is bliss, my mind is a paradise.

Renegade Borg

I decided to settle down and get fat.

jTap

If you think we've stopped, you haven't seen my black book.

Renegade Borg

I went to the future and found out that you're going to become a crazed diplomat, Bones's only purpose will be to walk uselessly around and annoy other people, Scotty will become fat and then he'll crash into a Dyson Sphere, and I'll die by the force of my own immense weight. I'm trying to stop that future from happening.

Renegade Borg

I think it's because your ears scared off everyone.

Renegade Borg

We're losers, ok!!! There, I said it.

T'Bonz

I put in for a transfer to Risa

T'Bonz

miniskirts went out of fashion

Bartlett

Severe redshirt shortage

The Great Wizzard

SevFleet refuses to pay the sexual harrassment suits against me

Mark

You forgot to renew your alien registration card.

Mark

That wasn't a Wrongulan Warbird we destroyed. It was the NBC Peacock!

Mark

We needed to stop before we were typecast forever!

Mark

We went so fast, we lost our timeslot.

Mark

Squatty ate too much of our budget.

Mark

Actually, due to relativity, the show lasted 78,000 years.

Mark

Space is huge, but our ratings aren't.

Mark

We are ordered to go out and make the next generation.

9 of 12

It was either stop the show or have Squatty destroy the ship while trying to change the laws of physics!

The Penguin Weekly

We completed our mission early . . . I've met every female in this galaxy.

The Penguin Weekly

We completed our mission early . . . our last ensign kicked the bucket this morning.

The Penguin Weekly

I heard they were going to start giving captains red uniforms.

Matthew Neo

We ran out of worlds to interfere with.

Matthew Neo

We ran out of plotholes.

The Penguin Weekly

Got ratings?

The Penguin Weekly

Starfleet is out of ensigns.

LadyGrey

I've developed an allergy to miniskirts and mylar

LadyGrey

I used up my quota of hot alien babes to quickly

Keith

The mission shrank.

Smith and Wesson

A piece of advice: NEVER fire on a ship owned by NBC!

EvilDevil

Sevfleet just found out why do we got so many galactic conflict, so many interestellar wars, so many impregnated female species, so many missing trubbles... all the fingers pointed to me.

EvilDevil

Too many women... so little time.

Joeno

We needed time for the movies. Watch out, the first one will take 99% of it.

jTap

Get a life, Leonard, it's just a show.

Corsair

After this year's scripts, what would Next Year be like?

Engineman AKAscotty

I meant five NBC years

Engineman AKAscotty

The last two years have been censored

Engineman AKAscotty

Termites invaded our set pieces

Engineman AKAscotty

NBC exec's can't count

Doubleohfrig

To the author: there are actually several reasons for this. First off, travel time. some episodes are longer than a week, while I am positive time passes between episodes (when else would they fix the ship?), also, it was the enterprises 5 year mission, not kirk's. captain pike probably had the first 2 years

Cerberus

They calculated that it would take five years for me to say all my lines

Elf

They thought... I needed... five... years... for my lines...

Art DeBuigny

I guess too many trekkies got a life!

Art DeBuigny

Admiral Nielsen reassigned me. You see, I, uh, slept with his daughter.

Alicat

I finally managed to seduce all the women in the galaxy

ScottE Bemeup

The Spook's Brain episode was the last straw.

ScottE Bemeup

There's just no future in science fiction.

Ann E. Nichols

We're on hiatus until Sev Trek Movie Mode starts.

Ann E. Nichols

Our missions became too ridiculous for Sev Fleet to stomach.

Josekann

The TV made us famous! Sevfleet can't pay us anymore!

Keith

You think I meant Earth years?!

8 of 12

I told Squatty not to eat the warp core but noooooo...

Nodrog_CRC

Don't expect logic with a mostly human crew. Don't expect continuity either.

Nodrog_CRC

My... estimate... was... based... on... my... speech... patterns.

Lister

We have two years to pay for whatever we wrecked during the three.

Trevor Raggatt

They finally sussed we were boldly going nowhere!

Trevor Raggatt

Just be glad they didn't try to stretch it out to seven!

The Great Wizzard, tributing Douglas Adams

Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so

Cmdr. Tony Q

I guess we weren't sufficient entertaining enough

Russell

Scotty ate all the supplies

Selia

It's called a budget Spook.

the MASK

I ran out of girdles

Paranoid connection

Sevfleet Command decided to count all the time warps we did the last three years.

Lordy

I guess I DID kiss every girl in the galaxy!

Kirks Wig

Don't worry, you'll be typecast in this role for another 40 years yet

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

3 years + 2 years of repeats!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Ear today - gone tomorrow I guess!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Quiet Spook or I'll box your ears!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

No - I actually said " a five ear mission"!

DoggySpew

The last two years where filled with the 3 year buildup of plotholes.

Nick "Naraht" Frame

I think it was a combination of the facts that a large portion of our writers quit, and had to be replaced. The Great Nerd stepped down as the head producer, Network executives put us in a crummy timeslot...you know......SEVSPACE!

Nick "Naraht" Frame

Two words "Spook's Brain"

5618

My libido grew quicker than the female population.

Nick "Naraht" Frame

The fans got angry cause this "You have 1 message waiting" message kept poping up....>=\

Nick "Naraht" Frame

Well, I've decided to become a 4th flatmate with three college guys, a nerd, a jock, and a slob. I'll be the spokesperson!

Elim

We were so fast we finished it in three.

Shlamko

I told you once, I told you thousand times... We need fueling!

Bobby

Don't worry Spook, we will be back, after all there is always syndication

Bobby

It will be a couple more years before the geeks discover us

Bobby

Ran out of alien babes

Paul McDowell

Bad ratings, rubbish time-slot, shoe-string budget... whats the point?

Bobby

We lacked the necessities,a cute kid and a robot

Paul McDowell

So we can make movies!.... In twelve years time.

§Sean§

We ran out of extension power cord for the warp nacelles

Nick "Naraht" Frame

N o B ody C ares

Shlamko

I'd say relativity effects, but then we'll finish a week earlier.

The Great Wizzard

With our mileage? Please!

The Great Wizzard

SevFleet cancelled their "Frequent Flyer" program

Nick "Naraht" Frame

You didn't honestly think a tv show set in space would last...people don't like that sorta thing....

Nick "Naraht" Frame

It's a hard knock life for us.....

Nick "Naraht" Frame

Spook, you of all people should know time is relative...

Nick "Naraht" Frame

So we have more time to write our memoirs

§Sean§

Too many sexual harrassment lawsuits

§Sean§

The galaxy ran out of babes

JC

We were defeated by an invincible entity - Nielsons!

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