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Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

This week: Malfunctioning Beta! This week wonders what would cause Beta to go haywire and start firing at Sev Fleet officers.


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by Kalahari Karl. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchlines of the Day.


Guybrush Threepwood

He thinks you're Measly.

Janak Desai

I told him what a pain in the asymmetric photons he was!

Janak Desai

Oh you know how sensitive he is about his motherboard

P-feif

Will you quit playing with his remote controller?

P-feif

Well stop flipping him off!

Gammabond

I think Beta needs an upgrade.

Blah Vlah

They had writer's block, so they used plot cliché #2: Data malfunctions, becomes evil pawn..

admirably lost

he finally got all those vhs jokes you were telling last night

Nodrog_CRC

What us? You're the one who insisted on neutering Subplot.

DarkBlade

I'd say he's nuts but I'm guessing he's missing a few

Elf

Stop whining, you'll ruin the only good action scene of the movie!

Elf

Beta! This is NOT the SpinerFemme Convention!

talshiarHQ

He has downgraded himself to Alpha.

peter

Beta: Hold still ensign, there's a bug on your shoulder

peter

Beta: Teach them to change the sex of my cat

peter

Beta: A planet where people live forever?? Lets see just how true that is.

Cmdr. Annos

Female officer: wouldn't you be pissed if you had to wear the orange suit in the first scene in the movie?!!

Jack Hammerfist

I called him "balloon-butt!"

Jack Hammerfist

He must have something up his flotation-device!

Scott McClenny

He's peeved that they didn't play Louie, Louie in the last movie!

Donald

I told you we needed to laugh at his jokes after that humour chip was installed.

Elf

FO: Well, his latest girlfriend got killed in the last movie, in this one he's stuck with a stupid little brat and he's forced to dress up like a carrot. Shall I go on?

Elf

FO: His emotion chip discovered Insurrection.

Trekmaster

We're nameless ensigns. Do the math.

The Great Wizzard

He wants to quit "Big Brother"

Gothamite1

He only has one song in the film and it wasn't "Life forms, my precious little life forms".

Andrew

I think he's angry that I slipped that trout into his suit before he left...

MindMelda

Female officer: At least he's not singing opera or telling us lame jokes.

Dagger3000

He's tired of Barf in every X-Gen movie...

Ego Atenji

What movie star likes to be invisible?

Farnell

Look, he's had AI for over ten years now! It's time he turned against his human masters to take over the world...

Nodrog_CRC

I don't know! I've never seen Beta this angry before!

Nodrog_CRC

He's not firing at us, he's firing with us.

Nodrog_CRC

Shhhh! This is the most screen time we'll get all movie.

JTKirk

He's tired of us fans following him everywhere!

Janak Desai

I told him you formatted his motherboard!

Cmdr. Annos

Female officer: Guess he got online on the wrong foot today

Cmdr. Annos

Female officer: I don't think he liked it when we tried to put him offline for April 1st

Samurai

Well, that's what you get for settling for a beta version...

Powerlord

Whose idea was it to put draino in his oil?

Powerlord

He's not shooting at us, he's demonstrating Mr. Phizzer

Derek (Disembodied to the townspeople)

Woman: What else do you expect from a malevolent, disembodied head?

Derek

Woman: He said something about "This is for 'Big Brother'..."

Standback

If he kills us, Sevfleet might deactivate him, and then he won't have to be in this lousy movie!

Bootnell

He's tired of all the comments about what happened to Subplot.

Luigi Novi

He's upset he wasn't considered for the part of Captain Jackson Archer for Series V, and he thinks you're Scott Bakula.

Luigi Novi

Man, you give an actor the right to script the next movie, and the power just GOES TO HIS HEAD, doesn't it?

Luigi Novi

Because Sev Trek Indigestion didn't win any Academy Awards.

the giraffe

officer: He's trying to change the channel.

Nodrog_CRC

Better then just firing us.

Nodrog_CRC

Chear up, this is our biggest scene in the movie.

Nodrog_CRC

Look at his face, he's gripped by rage!

Nodrog_CRC

I don't know, I've never seen Beta this emotional.

Nodrog_CRC

He must think we're the wardrobe department.

T'Rowa

He's trying to draw attention from the question, "If the Federation has invisibility technology, why don't they use it for something other than useless population studies?"

erik

Officer: Who cares? At least he's not singing!

erik

Officer: I don't know, but for someone who has a sumpercomputer for a brain he sure has bad aim.

erik

Officer: I don't know, but let's deactivate him and alter his program. That will show him we mean no harm.

erik

Officer: Yeah, and if he's an android, why does he keep missing?

Trinity Babe

He found out he would be inflated.

André Gatien

B: Otherwise nothing would happen in this movie!

André Gatien

I told you not to play that Tom Jones song!

Mr. Spork

He's trying to end this movie before it goes too far!

Guilherme Silva

It's an odd Sev Trek movie, it doesn't matter.

Mr. Spork

He figured out that this movie isn't the last!

The Bored Queen

One of the Son'a requested laser eye surgery.

Janak Desai

He's not firing at us, That's just 24th century fly swatting!

Janak Desai

remember when I insulted him 7 years ago? he just got it now!

Janak Desai

I said his hard disk looked more like a 3.5 floppy!

Gravitational Electromagnetic Neutrino

Maybe we should have invested more in crew morale after all...

EvilDevil

His program just crashed...

Rat Boy

Female: That's what we get for using a Celeron instead of an Athelon to fix him!

Kalahari Karl

I guess he locked himself out again, didn't he.

Kalahari Karl

Hey, YOU try living in that suit for a week.

Kitana

I don't know, but he keeps muttering, "Life signs, little life signs, I hate you life signs..."

ScottE Bemeup

SFO: It's all part of his anti-voyeurcam crusade.

MindMelda

I told him there's at least two more TNG movies!

MindMelda

He's mercy killing us before the sing-along scene.

Starlink

Beta: Lore was right, destroying stuff IS fun!

Starlink

Officer: He heard rumours he was going to be offed in the next movie

MindMelda

Damn, we should have never installed that conscience chip!

Dahar Master Kor

He must have a screw loose.

dettus

We installed win2k on him!

Corsair

He's rigging it so we can get Hazardous Duty Pay.

Corsair

He misunderstood the term "Friendly Fire".

Corsair

Final Draft, page 16, line 4. Don't you read your script?

Corsair

He must think it's a remote control...

Ravenid

He's saving us from the Gilbert & Sullivan roadshow later on.

Bobby

Sheesh, all I said was that he should do something about his android breath

Bobby

he figures that if he gets rid of ALL the senior officers, he'll have to get that promotion he's been after

§Sean§

You wrote that joke about beta's inflatable butt into the script didn't you?

Griffin

I'm not sure, but Captain Pinchhard better start singing.

The Great Wizzard

Must be one of those "action sequences" which are supposed to distract from the lame plot and the idiotic "jokes"

The Great Wizzard

Revenge for changing his character to the idiot he was during the first season of TXG.

Joeno

He wants this movie to finish as soon as possible

The Great Wizzard

He heard you are responsible for the "Gilbert and Sullivan" scene

Shinigami

Damage control. He read the script.

Shinigami

Gee, maybe because we're going to forcibly relocate an entire civilization?

Shinigami

Beta: Because Beta is tired of all the stupid questions.

T'Bonz

He's mad - His Hollowdeck privileges were revoked

T'Bonz

He got a better offer from "Lost in Space"

T'Bonz

Disabling the "do no harm" subroutine was a big mistake

T'Bonz

I KNEW giving him that emotion chip was a big mistake!

T'Bonz

He heard he was being transferred to Forager

greebo

It's not easy being orange.

JM

Beta : If I was firing at you you'd be dead

JM

Programmed in Linux, Wearing a Mac, sees Windows...obvious reaction.

Cmdr. Solomon

Beta: I finally got tired of the bad writing.

JC

He just read the script to this movie - he's looking for an out!

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