|Sev Trek: The Comic Strip|
This week: Malfunctioning Beta! This week wonders what would cause Beta to go haywire and start firing at Sev Fleet officers.
|These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline
was written by Kalahari Karl. You can read the
transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the
competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and
Punchlines of the Day.|
He thinks you're Measly.
I told him what a pain in the asymmetric photons he was!
Oh you know how sensitive he is about his motherboard
Will you quit playing with his remote controller?
Well stop flipping him off!
I think Beta needs an upgrade.
They had writer's block, so they used plot cliché #2: Data malfunctions, becomes evil pawn..
he finally got all those vhs jokes you were telling last night
What us? You're the one who insisted on neutering Subplot.
I'd say he's nuts but I'm guessing he's missing a few
Stop whining, you'll ruin the only good action scene of the movie!
Beta! This is NOT the SpinerFemme Convention!
He has downgraded himself to Alpha.
Beta: Hold still ensign, there's a bug on your shoulder
Beta: Teach them to change the sex of my cat
Beta: A planet where people live forever?? Lets see just how true that is.
Female officer: wouldn't you be pissed if you had to wear the orange suit in the first scene in the movie?!!
I called him "balloon-butt!"
He must have something up his flotation-device!
He's peeved that they didn't play Louie, Louie in the last movie!
I told you we needed to laugh at his jokes after that humour chip was installed.
FO: Well, his latest girlfriend got killed in the last movie, in this one he's stuck with a stupid little brat and he's forced to dress up like a carrot. Shall I go on?
FO: His emotion chip discovered Insurrection.
We're nameless ensigns. Do the math.
The Great Wizzard
He wants to quit "Big Brother"
He only has one song in the film and it wasn't "Life forms, my precious little life forms".
I think he's angry that I slipped that trout into his suit before he left...
Female officer: At least he's not singing opera or telling us lame jokes.
He's tired of Barf in every X-Gen movie...
What movie star likes to be invisible?
Look, he's had AI for over ten years now! It's time he turned against his human masters to take over the world...
I don't know! I've never seen Beta this angry before!
He's not firing at us, he's firing with us.
Shhhh! This is the most screen time we'll get all movie.
He's tired of us fans following him everywhere!
I told him you formatted his motherboard!
Female officer: Guess he got online on the wrong foot today
Female officer: I don't think he liked it when we tried to put him offline for April 1st
Well, that's what you get for settling for a beta version...
Whose idea was it to put draino in his oil?
He's not shooting at us, he's demonstrating Mr. Phizzer
Derek (Disembodied to the townspeople)
Woman: What else do you expect from a malevolent, disembodied head?
Woman: He said something about "This is for 'Big Brother'..."
If he kills us, Sevfleet might deactivate him, and then he won't have to be in this lousy movie!
He's tired of all the comments about what happened to Subplot.
He's upset he wasn't considered for the part of Captain Jackson Archer for Series V, and he thinks you're Scott Bakula.
Man, you give an actor the right to script the next movie, and the power just GOES TO HIS HEAD, doesn't it?
Because Sev Trek Indigestion didn't win any Academy Awards.
officer: He's trying to change the channel.
Better then just firing us.
Chear up, this is our biggest scene in the movie.
Look at his face, he's gripped by rage!
I don't know, I've never seen Beta this emotional.
He must think we're the wardrobe department.
He's trying to draw attention from the question, "If the Federation has invisibility technology, why don't they use it for something other than useless population studies?"
Officer: Who cares? At least he's not singing!
Officer: I don't know, but for someone who has a sumpercomputer for a brain he sure has bad aim.
Officer: I don't know, but let's deactivate him and alter his program. That will show him we mean no harm.
Officer: Yeah, and if he's an android, why does he keep missing?
He found out he would be inflated.
B: Otherwise nothing would happen in this movie!
I told you not to play that Tom Jones song!
He's trying to end this movie before it goes too far!
It's an odd Sev Trek movie, it doesn't matter.
He figured out that this movie isn't the last!
The Bored Queen
One of the Son'a requested laser eye surgery.
He's not firing at us, That's just 24th century fly swatting!
remember when I insulted him 7 years ago? he just got it now!
I said his hard disk looked more like a 3.5 floppy!
Gravitational Electromagnetic Neutrino
Maybe we should have invested more in crew morale after all...
His program just crashed...
Female: That's what we get for using a Celeron instead of an Athelon to fix him!
I guess he locked himself out again, didn't he.
Hey, YOU try living in that suit for a week.
I don't know, but he keeps muttering, "Life signs, little life signs, I hate you life signs..."
SFO: It's all part of his anti-voyeurcam crusade.
I told him there's at least two more TNG movies!
He's mercy killing us before the sing-along scene.
Beta: Lore was right, destroying stuff IS fun!
Officer: He heard rumours he was going to be offed in the next movie
Damn, we should have never installed that conscience chip!
Dahar Master Kor
He must have a screw loose.
We installed win2k on him!
He's rigging it so we can get Hazardous Duty Pay.
He misunderstood the term "Friendly Fire".
Final Draft, page 16, line 4. Don't you read your script?
He must think it's a remote control...
He's saving us from the Gilbert & Sullivan roadshow later on.
Sheesh, all I said was that he should do something about his android breath
he figures that if he gets rid of ALL the senior officers, he'll have to get that promotion he's been after
You wrote that joke about beta's inflatable butt into the script didn't you?
I'm not sure, but Captain Pinchhard better start singing.
The Great Wizzard
Must be one of those "action sequences" which are supposed to distract from the lame plot and the idiotic "jokes"
The Great Wizzard
Revenge for changing his character to the idiot he was during the first season of TXG.
He wants this movie to finish as soon as possible
The Great Wizzard
He heard you are responsible for the "Gilbert and Sullivan" scene
Damage control. He read the script.
Gee, maybe because we're going to forcibly relocate an entire civilization?
Beta: Because Beta is tired of all the stupid questions.
He's mad - His Hollowdeck privileges were revoked
He got a better offer from "Lost in Space"
Disabling the "do no harm" subroutine was a big mistake
I KNEW giving him that emotion chip was a big mistake!
He heard he was being transferred to Forager
It's not easy being orange.
Beta : If I was firing at you you'd be dead
Programmed in Linux, Wearing a Mac, sees Windows...obvious reaction.
Beta: I finally got tired of the bad writing.
He just read the script to this movie - he's looking for an out!
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