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This week's idea was suggested by Tom Hyde.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

This week: Sev baseball! Nothing looks quite as out of place as aliens playing baseball... except perhaps a baseball game in the middle of a galactic war!

Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by Art DeBuigny. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchlines of the Day.


Barf: "Chatter is for the WEAK!" Velcron:"Who'd have thought? A mound on the mound."

the giraffe

Barf: I believe that your shoe is untied. Velcron: I do believe your brain has shrunk.

Sgt. Bilko

Barf: I will not allow the bat to dishonour the ball Velcron: It would be illogical of me to miss


Barf: This is a good day to kick Velcron butt. Velcron: May you live short and in dishonor.


B: Get that? He wants to hear you splatter....

Juan Deer

Velcron: Your attempts at victory are illogical.


Barf: You're not allowed to stand on first base, you Terellian slime rat! Vulcan:Logic dictates that I should shoot you now.

Captain Pro Tom

Barf:Here batter, batter, batter! Velcron:I'm not batting! I'm pitching you half-wit!


Barf- Take me out to the ballgame, where we shall slaghter the away team and drink their blood. Buy me some bloodwine, and rip off the pitchers head...

Mr. Spork

V: And might I add, a Batleth is NOT a bat!


Barf: Today is a good day to pitch a no-hitter! Velcron: The probability of that happening is only 1 in 6200.35.


B: To battle! It is a glorious day for victory! V: The decimal approximation of pi to 47 decimal places is...


Velcron: I believe the correct insult is: Your mother wears combat boots! Barf: For Klingoffs, that's a compliment!

Mystic Mouse

Barf: Want to punch his lights out ? Velcron: I'll hold him down.


You can run or stay where you are. Either way, I'm going to kill you after my next pitch.

Mystic Mouse

Barf: Want to punch his lights out ? Velcron: That would be illogical, but most satisfying.


Barf: Who is on base one? Velcron: No, Who is on base two.

Cmdr. Solomon

Barf: You wanna kill him, or shall I? and Velcron: Nah, let's just take turns torturing him slowly.


Barf: `` Hmm, wich bone is be first to go Velcron: ``He says CHATTER, not SHATTER !


Barf: You throw like my last captain! Velcron: Yeah, well your curveballs have a tendency to list at an obtuse angle from the home plate!


V: Klueless was a wrongulan! Barf: Catch him! He's a wrongulan too!


Barf: "Eat my shorts !" Velcron: "Eat my ears !"

Bill Harris

Your parents mated outside of pon farr! V:That is illogical in light of your own dubious heritage.

Bill Harris

B: If you try and steal second, I will kill you when you slide! V: Who says I'll need to slide?

Dr. Jekyl

Barf: Death to the opposition! Velcron: Oh, now *that's* original.


Barf: "Computer, create chatter."


Barf: I'll rip your liver out with my blah'leth... Velcron: And I'll disembowel you with my ears, ugly.


B: Hey, pointy! Hey, pointy, pointy! V: Hey, bumpy! Hey...oh, this is SOOO illogical!

valerie p.

Velcron: Batter up! Barf: Batter him!

valerie p.

Barf: I'd rather get to the point. Velcron - always with the ear jokes

Ann E. Nichols

B: Fee Fo Fum Fie, our opposition's gonna die! V: Your logic is as weak as your rhyme.


B: Klingoffs do NOT chatter!


B: You hit like a girl! V: Yo mama!


Worf: I don't Do "chatter"!


BARF: If this were any other sport, I would kill you where you stand!


B: If I only had a battleth... V: If you only had a brain...


B: Your mother was a dirty targ V: The odds of your hitting the broad side of a barn are 1,771,561 to 1.

The Penguin Weekly

B: Hey batter, batter, batter. V: I'm on first base, Pruneface.

The Penguin Weekly

B: Let's see you reason your way out of this one!


Velcron: Emotional outbursts are illogical Captain


Barf: Today is a good day to play ball!

Admiral Schnur

Barf: Today IS a good day to slide...


Barf: I challenge that call! Solocked: To the death?


B: There is no honor in bunting! V: Yet, it was the logical thing to do.


Barf: Prepare to die where you stand! Velcron: Threats are illogical.


B: If you were any other hitter, I'd kill you where you stand! V: Your pitching is like your comments; focused, but over the top.


W: Pacifist! V: Worrier!


B: Chatter. Chatter. Chatter. V: I do not believe that is what he meant.


Velcron: Now all I have to do is pick up the phaser hidden under this base, and..


Barf: Computer! Activate 1st base ejector seat!


Barf: Captain! Permission to set baseball to kill!


Barf: If you were any other man... Velcron: I'm a Velcron Barf: Alright then!

Rat Boy

B: Death to the opposition! V: Intelligence to the ignorant!

Stuart Ferguson

Barf: Today is a good day to win!

Londo Moelarry

Barf: Next time, we play soccer. Hehe.

Londo Moelarry

Barf: If this were any other game, I would kill them where they stand.


Barf: This is stupid. Velcron: This is illogical. Barf: We're agreed then.


B: Big ears!! V: Big-head!!

Ragin' cajun

Barf: DIE! velcron: LOGIC!


Today is a good day for "outs"


Barf: I'll throw you out, you P'Tang!


Barf: Klingoffs do not "chatter". Velcron: wassamatter, Barf? Can't think of anything clever?


B: Death to Velcrons! V: Your mother consorted with Fungis


B: Death to you all! V: Next shore leave I'm going to Risa instead


B: Your mother was a Wrongulan! V: That explains this sudden urge to kill you!


B: Move one centimeter off of first base and I will kill you V: Threats are illogical!


B: Hey pointy ears! You'll never make it to home plate alive!


B: Hey pointy ears! My mother hits better than you!


B: Death to you...and to your mother.


B: How many Velcrons does it take to defeat a Tarq? One - they BORE it to death!


B: Hey! Pointy Ears! Yo Mamma!


B: I will never allow anyone to make it alive to first base!


B: My best pitch is the beanball.


B: Try outthinking me when my fastball is aimed at your head!


B: You do realize that beanballs are legit in the Klingoff Empire!


Barf: So what you're saying is... Velcron: Who's on the first.

Ruth (from Canada)

Barf: But Captain, the PC Directive forbids trash talking.

Borg Comedy Drone

Velcon: Chatter is illogical

ScottE Bemeup

B: You have no honor. V: Your brain shrank!

ScottE Bemeup

B: Perhaps it is a good day to fly. V: I prefer the bunt.


Barf: If you were any other man, I'd strike you where you stand!


B: In honour may I strike you down V: Strike 3 times and you're out


Barf: You are an ensign? I will make sure you do not survive this ep


Barf: Hey you Romulan! Velcron: Are you talking to me?!


Barf: Do not insult me Velcron! Velcron: Why not Mr. Brainless?


Barf: You hit without honor! Velcron: Would it be logical to assume you want a piece of me?


Barf: "I thought you had to wait seven years before getting to first base with a girl..."


Barf: "I shall dye my hat in you're blood!" Velcron: "Too late, my blood already dyed the astro-turf."


Barf: You will die with Honour. V: In 270 more feet, I shall add 1 to our score.


Velcron: "Your curve ball is illogical." Barf: "Thank you."


Barf: "There is no honor in stealing second."


Barf: "Today is a good day to been the batter."


Barf: Today is not a good day for you to steal second!!

The Great Wizzard

Barf: First a Shakespeare-quoting tea-quaffer, now this sports fanatic. Can't I get a normal captain?

The Great Wizzard

Barf: There's no honor in chatter! Velcron: Chatter is illogical.


Barf: Klingoffs do NOT chatter! Vulcan: Finally, some restraint!


B: My Captain is ordering that we enter into discussion, Velcron! V: As I understand it, the rules of the game do not allow for parleying.


B: I shall eat your liver for breakfast Velcron! V: Impossible. We have none.


B: Hey Velcron! You Stink! V: Not according to empirical testing procedures.


B: I want to see some blood! V: I wish to engage in more logical pursuits.


B: Did you know that I have three redundant livers? V: And one redundant brain.


B: When do we start killing our opponents?


B: This Sucks. I quit. V: I agree. This game is illogical.


B: You lookin at ME? V: Are you using your visual acuity to examine my form?


b:death to your mother v: kiss my ears


B: You play like a Romulan! V: Bingo!


B: Why do velcrons play this game? V: Shhh! We're from the 20th century and we're wearing prosthetic ears!

The Great Wizzard

Barf: Revenge for my Klingoff bachelor party, Captain?

The Great Wizzard

Velcron: Chatter is illogical!

The Great Wizzard

Barf: It's bad enough that we have to play your stupid game! Velcron: You prefer more intelligent games like "head-butting", right?


B: Pointy-eared scum! V: Scummy forehead-bumps!


B: Today is a good day to kick Velcron butt. V: Hit long and prosper!

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