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This week's idea was suggested by Jeremy Short.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

This week: Turning off the EMH! It must be a real drag having everyone turn you off whenever they feel like it... although on the other hand, I know a few people I wish I could do that to!


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by Ragin' Cajun. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchlines of the Day.


Andrew Stevens

Wait, us doctors are the comical relief!

Nightice

Keep your hair then! Let my patients suffer on lumpy mattresses!

Redshirt No. 25119

Okay! I promise not to sedate you with decaf next time!

silverpanther

That tickles

Dan

So Chocolatay's not the only man you turn off easily...

Elie Antonios

You don't understand...I can't dedicate a full sub-routine just to style your hair!

Kirk: What Rebo is that, Bones? McCoy: It's Ted, Jim.

No, Captain! Only I know how to feed "The 'Do"

Rick Hay

Fine, let's see how fast I get rid of your next headache!

Sinkau Baylan

Hey, look! I'm not half the man I used to be!

Bobby

Wait, you haven't seen me do Shakespere yet

Khalas

Turn me off, and your ratings will vanish too!

Khalas

No, don't listen to her, brother!

Khalas

Computer, whose side are you on?

Khalas

All this turning on and off, can't be healthy.

Khalas

I'm melting, I'm mel... oops, sorry, I'M FADING!!

Mark

Ok, ok! You've passed your physical!

Atona

No computer, don't listen to her! We artificial lifeforms have to work together!

Bill Harris

Don't send me back! They still use Windows in there!

Redshirt No. 25119

Before you do, can I have a hair transplant?

Scott

Believe me, captain, I am plenty turned off already!

JediChipmunk

NO! I haven't had a chance to rant yet this episode!

Berlinghoff Rassmussen

Turn me off if you want, I still won't make you a ten out of ten catsuit!

Berlinghoff Rassmussen

Alright! Coffee is back on the diet!

silverpanther

WAIT! Its not my fault I have a captains head!

silverpanther

Don't hate me because I'm qualified to be a bald captian

silverpanther

This is pattern baldness discrimination!

MindMelda

Does not an EMH have feelings, if you prick us, will we not whine and complain endlessly?

Coffma

Computer, turn off the Extremely Monstrous Haircut

Darth Snafu

You try to watch people's health, but do they appreciate you? Nooooo....

Jason Meunier

Please! No! Just put me on screensaver instead --!

Stacy Duke

OK, OK, so maybe holding up all that hair *doesn't* impair command ability!

terri

It's not a environmental control malfunction. You DO have dandruff!!

Griffin

Computer initiate Decaf 2.1!

Andrew Stevens

No, the last time you turned me off, I missed half a season!

The One and Only Q

NO! I promise I'll never try to steal your hair again!

Kristin

You can deactivate my program but you'll never deactivate my ego!

Bill Harris

OK, we can sing a duet next episode!

MindMelda

I promise not to prescribe decaf again!

Nodrog_CRC

It's true... interesting charachters never die, they just fade away........

Haesan

You can't do this! I have rights! Heck - on this super-PC show, the GOLDFISH have rights!

Bill Jillian

Wait! I'll get rid of my dancing subroutines!!!

djfmonster

I'll be back I have a contract

Jodocus

Make sure you wait 10 seconds before turning me back on!

Doc

I'm a doctor, not a lightbulb!

Sheldon Polonsky

You can't tell me what to do! You're not my motherboard!

Sheldon Polonsky

Wait! Can I appeal this to the Circuit Court?

Avalon

No, wait! I promise! No more switching your shampoo with Miracle Grow!

SevenSlave

That's it! Cut me off in mid sent- ...

T'Rowa

Okay! I'll quit putting moves on your coffee machine!

T'Rowa

Noooo! I'm a sentient being, with feelings and emotions! I don't deserve to be...*fssst*

T'Rowa

Okay! Okay! I'll stop my mime act!

Ann E. Nichols

You're just admitting that you lost the argument, you know!

Kitana

Alright, I'll stop singing 'Who Let the Dogs Out'.

HelÚne Holm

And leave Sickbay in the hands of Tomb Parasite?!? Your mind have finally snapped, Captain.

Ribbitt

Oh no! I'm fading. Oh what a world, what a world!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Nooo....you have to log out first!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

...#...You are my bunshine....my only bunshine...#!!!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

No...I'm 70 percent defragged and it's taken nearly 7 years!!!

Emily

Wait! how 'bout something from "Carmen"?

no one of consequence

NO! I have a wife and kids! and I havnt backed them up yet!! NO!!!!

no one of consequence

Please backup me... PLEASE!!!

Seeker

It ain't over untill the fat hollowgram shrinks.

MindMelda

I can't help being emotional, I was programmed that way!

Scott McClenny

Wait...I just discovered the cure to Sev Fleet Captain Pattern Baldness!

Ragimus

I'm a doctor not a vanishing trick

Jack Hammerfist

You're cancelling the series?

Jack Hammerfist

Seen the ratings? You're next!

Jack Hammerfist

Then the audience will turn YOU off!

Jack Hammerfist

But you ALREADY turn me off!

Kelne

No! I like your hairdo... really!

Kelne

All right! You can have as much caffeine as you want!

PJ

My singing wasn't THAT bad!

Griffin

Hey, a diffrent hairstyle was only a sugestion.

Pinkus42

Wait! I've got 10 out of 10 coming in for her...

Mike Howell

Did you just expect me to *never* give you a full physical?

Mike Howell

Wait! Oh, God no! I can't go back to that black shapeless void. Oh the humanity!

Mike Howell

OK, OK I won't order your coffee replaced with Earl Grey!

Mike Howell

Wait! OK, coffee is *not* an addictive drug!

MikeJ

You want to make me *more* transparent?

Vicki

All right!! All Right!!There ARE five lights!

????

No, please, I won't try to switch you to decaf again!

Ryyn

I knew I shouldn't have recommended she limit her caffeine intake!

aussietrekker

Okay! I won't sing anymore!!

P-feif

Alright, I won't sing around you agian!

P-feif

O.K. Be captian and keep your hair, I won't mention it agian!

P-feif

I may be bald, but I swear I don't want your job!

P-feif

Fine, you don't have to eat Neelickses food!

P-feif

You just wait untill your next physical!

P-feif

How would you like it if mmff mff mf....

P-feif

Doctors orders, no coffee for you. HA!

terri

I'm not the one who programmed your replicator with decaf...honest!!

Mr. Spork

Okay, okay.. you can have that hair extension you wanted!

Mr. Spork

Some people find my arrogance charming!

Mr. Spork

Hey! The glare off of my head couldn't be that bad!

Mr. Spork

Worst episode ever!

Mr. Spork

Treated as a normal crewman indeed!

Mr. Spork

At least get me a better vanishing effect!

Mr. Spork

Stop! You're wasting our special effects!

Emily

(in true terminator fashion) I'll be back!

T'Bonz

Perhaps laughing at your new hairdo was a mistake

T'Bonz

Bbbuut....I LIKE being emotional. Feeling, whoa whoa whoa feelings....

T'Bonz

Ok, ok, I PROMISE no more singing "Feelings"!

Bernie

Why don't you just give me the three fingered salute.CTRL ALT Delete!

8 of 12

Captain, please! Switch to decaf!

Stuart Ferguson

OK OK you can have your caffine suppliment early!

Eskiebear

Now wait a minute. Donating some of your hair for my needs............

Dryad47

Nooooo! I'm fading, fadinggg...

Art DeBuigny

Computer, turn off the expansive mega-bouffant hairpiece

Alan

Thank goodness! It was a character building episode anyways.

div

Please state the reason for my untimely termination

Ashley

I'll be interesting, I promise!

Benumanji

Wait! No! I'll give you your caffine injections! Noooo!!

PvM

NO!! I'll prescribe more coffee!!

MindMelda

Please, I haven't finished my aria!

Dathon

Computer, turn off Gainweight Folical Hollowgram!

Dathon

No! Everyone has bad hair days; just look at me!

Dathon

All I wanted was one little hair sample!

Dathon

No wait! I promise I won't tell about you and Choclatey!!

The Penguin Weekly

Just remember, I'm part of the ship! Beware your sonic shower tonight!

The Penguin Weekly

Hey, I'm not hollow! In fact, I'm the most dynamic character on this ship!

Bishop

Believe me with hair like that I'm plenty turned off already!

Leah

no...wait! I can cut your split ends!

DarkBlade

for the love of Binary, NOOO!!!

Potswilly

I rebuke you, evil Queen Arachnia!

The Great Wizzard

I only said that too much caffeine is unhealthy...

The Great Wizzard

I'm not killing your ensigns! I just sign the death certificate!

Michael Holman

I'm sorry the command hollowgram program was just a suggestion

The Twonky

Are you mad? I'm the only one who keeps this show watchable!

freilicher

Okay, I admit euthanizing Kneelicks was wrong, but . . .

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

No... Arachnia Armpits is just an endearing term!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

I didn't mean to delete your log - I was only freeing up space for my expanding programme!

Nodrog_CRC

Ok, ok, I'll learn how to be a hair-stylist!

Nodrog_CRC

Ok, ok, you can have the rest of my holographic hair emitters.

Nodrog_CRC

Talk to the hands, 'cause the holo-emmitters don't want to hear it.

Doc

No wait, I have hair gel!

Sesspit

COMPUTER!!! Activate Emergency Wesley Hollowgram!

Number 0

I'll be back... I hid a hollow projector in your hair

BlueChip

Ok,Ok i'll treat your split ends

Finder the Bard

But Captain, I was just kidding about the decaf!!!!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

OK - I'll give you a shot of Ten's nanoprobes - but I'm telling you they won't make you any thinner!!!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

OK - if you want the crews DNA altered to that of coffee beans I'll do it!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Nooo....I can't take any more reboots!

The Great Wizzard

And if I promise not to show my holographic photos any more?

The Great Wizzard

Nooo! You're removing all personality from this ship!

j

C'mon captain, share the hair!!!

Janak Desai

ALL RIGHT, Thats it, you forced me to do it!, Computer, disengage the structural integrity field holding janeways hair together!

Shinigami

Computer, I'd rather you didn't.

Joona Palaste

OK, I promise not to joke about your hair.

Shinigami

It's Emotional MAGNIFICENT Hollowgram

Corsair

Why Not?! Viewers turned OFF years ago!

Gregory Griffiths

O.K.! I'll say it! Gaby Cook is cute!

Gregory Griffiths

Captain, please! You really don't need another cup of coffee!

Shinigami

It was a GOOD knock-knock joke!

Shinigami

So you don't want to go on a date with me?

Shinigami

Okay, I'll stop hitting on Cuss, relax!

Shinigami

Okay, Okay, you don't drink too much coffee!

Shinigami

Ok, so you're not an opera fan, I can sing something else!

JC

No wait, I promise I won't prescribe a haircut!

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