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This week's idea was suggested by The Emergency Sarcasm Hologram.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

This week: Horrible parallel universe! When the Enterforaprize encounter a parallel universe, they learn the Bored is victorious and has assimilated Earth. But here is an even nastier universe!


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by The Twonky. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchlines of the Day.


Ken

Trekkies Sir! they are everywhere.. and they know everything about us!

rocky dean

hold on ther's another universe on the other line

Emily

our captain got turned into a monkey and he wasn't decommissioned!

Juan Deer

No more recounts! NO MORE RECOUNTS!!!!

Stuart Ferguson

There's no reset button!

MindMelda

Two words: Series Five!

[keth]

We have to write our own cartoon punchlines!

Dave the Explosive Newt

There's no sevspace! We have nothing to blame our problems on!

rhea stone

Beta has his emotion chip and wont stop playing bohemian rhapsody on the console

Tyrrogan

The paperwork! Every time we kill a redshirt there are 47 Sevfleet forms to fill out - in triplicate!

LtParis11

"Our uniform designs are even more hideous!"

Damian

Have you ever heard of Sev Trek: The Fungi Frontier?

Avalon

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has facial hair!

Jason

I'm losing my hair and your growing yours back

Mr. Memo

Instead of my chin being "smooth as an andriod's bottom", Beta's butt is as hairy as my chin.

Luigi Novi

Quirk's a great actor, Spook's emotional, Squatty's sober, you have both hair and a French accent, Tryhard says really insightful things, Measley Cruncher is pleasant to be around, the crew of DS9 is stable and well-adjusted without any angst whatsoever, Gainweight's on decaf, Chakotay is an interesting character, Paris is isn't annoying, Torrid is comfortable with her human and Klingoff halves, Neelix is a great cook, Ten of Ten wears respectable clothing, Hairy Chin has been promoted to admiral, Voyager ran out of shuttles, all the alien races look really weird and different from us, there are no sound effects in outer space, and worst of all, I CAN"T GET ANY WOMEN!!!!

Martin Dahl

Watching you guys, resistance does seem futile!

Jim

The censors decided we should have an all male crew

Mark

10 of 10 returned and I'm married!

Dial "M" for Maul

"We're stuck on a dead end show, type cast forever!"

Dial "M" for Maul

"The Bored left 10 of 10 in the Delta Quadrant!"

DMJ

Counselor Tryhard... Counselor Lwaxana Tryhard!

Antti

Beta's in pieces, Gaudi can't find his ISORE, I'm still in Frame of Mind, Lwaxative has married you, Deanna's in a coma and Measly Cruncher is the captain of this ship!

Antti

Sev Wars fans have conquered the Galaxy!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

We have exploding ensigns instead of consoles!

Plain Simple

We are all Cosmonauts... on some sort of Sev Trek.

AT

Try "Counselor Barfly!"

AT

We're all Bored to death!

erik

Here, William Shatner has a contract to direct all the Sev Trek movies!

erik

Tryhard isn't our counselor -- she's our pilot!

erik

Here Tryhard resigned as ship's counselor ... and her mother replaced her!

Paul Laurendeau

Red shirt really means red shirt here, Jean-Luc

frosthsky

You actually speak in a French accent

Bob-Clo-Cli-Mar

The Borg assimilated all the toilets!

5618

You don't know what it's like. The plotholes are everywhere!

Hanover Fisk

The Conventions Never End!

Keith

Reproduction is done by cloning.....arrgh!

Rejected by the Borg

Drag Queens instead of Borg Queens!!!

Robert Saturn

Boy band revival!

The Last Saskatchewan Pirate

Heavenly had more than one child!

Scott Poole

This universe doesn't have technobabbel!

chrifgo

I have advanced to Number Zero.

Sion

I've made captain and I'm terrified of losing my hair

Sal

You ever tryed shaving with an exploding consol

009

I keep meeting the cast of "sliders"

009

Kevin Sorbo is trying to do sci-fi!!

the giraffe

It's leola root for breakfast, leola root for lunch, leola root for...

tel

Barf is our councilor, so every day is a good day to die

Wilco

The klingoffs just discovered that they're all decended from Trubbles!

Wilco

I found out what the fifth series is about!

Wilco

I just found out what happened at the end of Season 7 of Voyager .... they return home!

Wilco

We just found out that we're all decendents of QUIRK!

Wilco

Q just offered his Q powers to Doyouwanna ... AND SHE TOOK 'EM!

Potswilly

Cue gave Measly his powers!

Potswilly

Voyager returned home and we were attacked by the Borg, the Hirogen, Species 8472, etc...!

Tyrrogan

No convenient temporal anomalies.

Tyrrogan

Nothing. We all look like this since caffiene was banned...

Tyrrogan

The paperwork! Have you SEEN the PAPERWORK?!?

Bob

a freak transploder accident has caused measly to be cloned a million fold!!!

Mike Wille

Here, I'm known as "Number Two"!

Mike Wille

The only toilet is flying around the Deltoid Quadrant!

Avalon

Didn't you read the script? EVIL parallel universe.

peter

perhaps you didnt notice our battered up broken ship with all the borg implants attached to it genius!

Janewaysgrrl

Treknobabble has been declared illegal... and it's 30 seconds until the big blue glowy thing goes boom.

André Gatien

Tom Jones... all... the... TIME!

Mark

Quirk directed another movie!

Mark

Our ship's computer personality is now Measly!

Mark

Here, the Bored always attack with 2 cubes!

Mark

They never resolved the Florida vote count here.

Mark

As per Sevfleet directive, my blood has been replaced by coffee.

Mark

My universe? This is your universe in 5 years!

Jan

Whatever strange thing happened to your Klingoffs, happened to our women.

Mark

The M-word!

Mark

I married Dr. Cruncher. Measly is my son!

Robza

Sevspace....plotholes....need I say more?

Robza

Gainweight is the Borg Queen!

P-feif

Measly is my son!

P-feif

Quirk's still alive, he thinks I'm a hairy alien female!

P-feif

They keep showing The Slow Motion Picture over and over and....

HirogenHunter

Barf is starring in every sequel!

MindMelda

All the Sev Fleet Captains tried to quit caffeine at once!

Andy Rouse

In this universe we still have to wear those miniskirts from series one!

Linz

*koosh* (Jean) Luc *koosh* I am your father...

AmOeBa

This show's been replaced by something called FORAGER!!!

5618

Quirk..... too many....... offspring!

Ken Brazier

We're Bored out of our minds!

Bill Harris

Quirk came back from the dead and now I can't get a date!

Elmo

Here I'm Number Two!!

Katia

You have one bathroom, we have NONE!

Gene A.

In my universe.........(Gulp) you have a toupe'

Pizman

Measley's been assimilated--and now the Bored are more annoying than ever!

Wolf

It's the PC-Directive... They just canged it for the 347. time! "Every woman/man/green-bloby-thing should not interfear with any being/culture/subculture/.. usw usw" this correctness is killing us!

Michel Martin del Campo

No catsuits!!! Dear God in heaven!!! NO CATSUITS!!!

Trevor Raggatt

#We should never have let the Changing Rooms team redesign the Enterforaprize

Cap10Rob

bald Captians want to harvest my beard!

Cap10Rob

You don't want to know where they put my Trombone!!

Trevor Raggatt

Turns out there really ARE four lights

Trevor Raggatt

...Pavlovaski stayed...Pavlovaski stayed...Pavlovaski stayed...

Trevor Raggatt

Here Gaudi gets more babes than I do

Trevor Raggatt

You thing Q's bad? We've got R,S,T,U and V too!

Trevor Raggatt

Barf's the ship's counsellor and Tryhard heads up security

Trevor Raggatt

The Shudders are attacking, the Daleks have invaded Earth and Darth Vader's head of the Federation

Trevor Raggatt

I keep passing up promotions and Barf stole my girlfriend!

Trevor Raggatt

Tryhard's our helm officer

Trevor Raggatt

We're being attacked by a Bored dodecahedron

Trevor Raggatt

You've got hair and Gainweight is bald

Trevor Raggatt

THe aliens...they gave back Elvis

Plain Simple

I did not choose my career over Doyawanna .

Finder the Bard

This is the only flat surface where a tape-loop of the Teletubbies isn't playing

zips

I may be 'number one', but here they treat me like 'number two'!!!

Captain This'art

You're bold; your Counsellor is nearly stating the obvious; your science is done by an android; your helm is controlled by a blind man and you still have the guts to ask ME what's bad in MY universe?!?!

Captain This'art

Never mind THAT Captain, what happened to YOUR HAIR?!?!?!

Chris

Trekkies... Trekkies everywhere!

David Johnston

Political Correctness has taken over everything!

Si Moose

My God! It's Measly! He's Taken over! Go back to your own Universe while you still can!

V. Equinox

The writers snapped and started killing off regulars instead of ensigns!

V. Equinox

All the fans got girlfriends and stopped watching.

David Robinson

The spice girls are still popular!!

Vicki

The coffee....there's coffee in every nebula

Ashley

Gainweights hair has taken over the Delta Quadrant!!

Vicki

It's called leola root. Good Lord, leola root in everything!

Derek

Beta used a contraction and the universe was rent asunder!

Derek

Tryhard finally said something useful, and now she won't shut up!

Derek

The only form of entertainment left is Beta's poetry!

Derek

They put ME in charge of a ship!

Nodrog_CRC

It's your kids, CAptain! Something has got to be done about your kids!

Mike Howell

Barry Manilow is the computer voice!

Amie Howell

We asked Beta to calculate Pi six years ago!

Amie Howell

It's Captain Barf--everyday is a "Good Day to Die!"

Khalas

Can't you see it move? I have to wear a trubble for a beard!!

E-Nice

Klingoffs go au natural.

E-Nice

Beta is stuck in a endless joke mode and his on/off switch is broken.

Janak Desai

nothings bad in this universe sir... im just shocked to see you without any hair!

Mazotti Jordan, Green Lantern of Sevspace (I'm Back!)

Measly Cruncher got Ten out of Ten!! Gaudy got Tequilla!! Beta has leagons of women!!!! Who did I get? Annoyme Wildly!!!!!!

trekkie709

All the replicators make is coffee! I NEED SLEEP!!!

Dacron

Things were fine until the Trubbles conquered the Klingoff Empire

TooBah!!

Over here, the only useful bridge crew are the counsellors!

Dacron

Have you ever seen Barf in a leotard? ...

T'Bonz

The men here wear the miniskirts!

T'Bonz

Bored women...resistance IS futile!

T'Bonz

Can't take Beta singing "If I only had emotion" one more time

Rabbit

Ever heard of Teletribbles? AAaaaaaaa!!!

Rabbit

The Borg have assimilated the Teletubbies!

Rabbit

Life Support - Weapons - Nav - All Microsoft!

Shawn McNiel

You have Ten out of Ten, we have One out of Ten!

Shawn McNiel

Joysticks are manditory!

Ravenid

I just foud out that Quirk is my dad.

MindMelda

Counselor Tryharder has her own talk show!

Doggy Spew

Redshirts SURVIVE ! Guess who dont.

The Great Wizzard

The Bored have been infected with Mad Cow Disease.

ScottE Bemeup

There's no SOAP! Be glad this isn't smellovision.

Harley Cat

Here all the expendable ensigns have revolted and we go on all the dangerous away missiong

Nodrog_CRC

I'm the Emergency Holographic First Officer. Please state the nature of your pants-wetting emergency.

The Penguin Weekly

Dad?

Nodrog_CRC

Doyouwanna is our pilot officer! Run before she crashes again!

The Penguin Weekly

In my universe, I'M the one going bald!

Nodrog_CRC

The Borg have assimilated everything! And that includes Risa!

Nodrog_CRC

The Severation brought back the miniskirt uniforms... for all crewmembers!

009

Apes have taken over the planet! Luckily, they think I'm one of them...

Tedh Reboe practices with silent letters

SHH!! Don't let Admiral Measley hear you! He's demoting people to ensign like crazy today.

Carla Helm

Quirk lives! and he's getting all my action!

009

The Bored are everywhere! And none of them look like 10 out of 10!!

evay

The Bored destroyed our last known source of coffee... Gainweight's been ripping up the quadrant trying to find an alternative source of caffeine!

The Great Wizzard

Our chief engineer is Squatty. We need 3 transploders to beam him from his quarters to engineering.

The Great Wizzard

Barfly has shown us "Program Nine".

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

The original series is in season 47!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Measley Cruncher has his own show!

Shinigami

Since he always comes back, Harry Chin has been declared a "cost-efficient ensign". They cloned him.

The Great Wizzard

The Talaxians have conquered Earth and all food contains leola root

The Great Wizzard

Annoyme Wildman is captain and Measly is her first officer.

Jim McNamara

Some guy named Kneelicks programs all the food replicators.

Jim McNamara

Tryhard is security officer, Beta is the counselor..

Jim McNamara

Counselor Tryhard wears a normal uniform!

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