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This week's idea was suggested by The Emergency Sarcasm Hologram.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

This week: Horrible parallel universe! When the Enterforaprize encounter a parallel universe, they learn the Bored is victorious and has assimilated Earth. But here is an even nastier universe!

Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by The Twonky. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchlines of the Day.


Trekkies Sir! they are everywhere.. and they know everything about us!

rocky dean

hold on ther's another universe on the other line


our captain got turned into a monkey and he wasn't decommissioned!

Juan Deer

No more recounts! NO MORE RECOUNTS!!!!

Stuart Ferguson

There's no reset button!


Two words: Series Five!


We have to write our own cartoon punchlines!

Dave the Explosive Newt

There's no sevspace! We have nothing to blame our problems on!

rhea stone

Beta has his emotion chip and wont stop playing bohemian rhapsody on the console


The paperwork! Every time we kill a redshirt there are 47 Sevfleet forms to fill out - in triplicate!


"Our uniform designs are even more hideous!"


Have you ever heard of Sev Trek: The Fungi Frontier?


Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has facial hair!


I'm losing my hair and your growing yours back

Mr. Memo

Instead of my chin being "smooth as an andriod's bottom", Beta's butt is as hairy as my chin.

Luigi Novi

Quirk's a great actor, Spook's emotional, Squatty's sober, you have both hair and a French accent, Tryhard says really insightful things, Measley Cruncher is pleasant to be around, the crew of DS9 is stable and well-adjusted without any angst whatsoever, Gainweight's on decaf, Chakotay is an interesting character, Paris is isn't annoying, Torrid is comfortable with her human and Klingoff halves, Neelix is a great cook, Ten of Ten wears respectable clothing, Hairy Chin has been promoted to admiral, Voyager ran out of shuttles, all the alien races look really weird and different from us, there are no sound effects in outer space, and worst of all, I CAN"T GET ANY WOMEN!!!!

Martin Dahl

Watching you guys, resistance does seem futile!


The censors decided we should have an all male crew


10 of 10 returned and I'm married!

Dial "M" for Maul

"We're stuck on a dead end show, type cast forever!"

Dial "M" for Maul

"The Bored left 10 of 10 in the Delta Quadrant!"


Counselor Tryhard... Counselor Lwaxana Tryhard!


Beta's in pieces, Gaudi can't find his ISORE, I'm still in Frame of Mind, Lwaxative has married you, Deanna's in a coma and Measly Cruncher is the captain of this ship!


Sev Wars fans have conquered the Galaxy!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

We have exploding ensigns instead of consoles!

Plain Simple

We are all Cosmonauts... on some sort of Sev Trek.


Try "Counselor Barfly!"


We're all Bored to death!


Here, William Shatner has a contract to direct all the Sev Trek movies!


Tryhard isn't our counselor -- she's our pilot!


Here Tryhard resigned as ship's counselor ... and her mother replaced her!

Paul Laurendeau

Red shirt really means red shirt here, Jean-Luc


You actually speak in a French accent


The Borg assimilated all the toilets!


You don't know what it's like. The plotholes are everywhere!

Hanover Fisk

The Conventions Never End!


Reproduction is done by cloning.....arrgh!

Rejected by the Borg

Drag Queens instead of Borg Queens!!!

Robert Saturn

Boy band revival!

The Last Saskatchewan Pirate

Heavenly had more than one child!

Scott Poole

This universe doesn't have technobabbel!


I have advanced to Number Zero.


I've made captain and I'm terrified of losing my hair


You ever tryed shaving with an exploding consol


I keep meeting the cast of "sliders"


Kevin Sorbo is trying to do sci-fi!!

the giraffe

It's leola root for breakfast, leola root for lunch, leola root for...


Barf is our councilor, so every day is a good day to die


The klingoffs just discovered that they're all decended from Trubbles!


I found out what the fifth series is about!


I just found out what happened at the end of Season 7 of Voyager .... they return home!


We just found out that we're all decendents of QUIRK!


Q just offered his Q powers to Doyouwanna ... AND SHE TOOK 'EM!


Cue gave Measly his powers!


Voyager returned home and we were attacked by the Borg, the Hirogen, Species 8472, etc...!


No convenient temporal anomalies.


Nothing. We all look like this since caffiene was banned...


The paperwork! Have you SEEN the PAPERWORK?!?


a freak transploder accident has caused measly to be cloned a million fold!!!

Mike Wille

Here, I'm known as "Number Two"!

Mike Wille

The only toilet is flying around the Deltoid Quadrant!


Didn't you read the script? EVIL parallel universe.


perhaps you didnt notice our battered up broken ship with all the borg implants attached to it genius!


Treknobabble has been declared illegal... and it's 30 seconds until the big blue glowy thing goes boom.

André Gatien

Tom Jones... all... the... TIME!


Quirk directed another movie!


Our ship's computer personality is now Measly!


Here, the Bored always attack with 2 cubes!


They never resolved the Florida vote count here.


As per Sevfleet directive, my blood has been replaced by coffee.


My universe? This is your universe in 5 years!


Whatever strange thing happened to your Klingoffs, happened to our women.


The M-word!


I married Dr. Cruncher. Measly is my son!


Sevspace....plotholes....need I say more?


Gainweight is the Borg Queen!


Measly is my son!


Quirk's still alive, he thinks I'm a hairy alien female!


They keep showing The Slow Motion Picture over and over and....


Barf is starring in every sequel!


All the Sev Fleet Captains tried to quit caffeine at once!

Andy Rouse

In this universe we still have to wear those miniskirts from series one!


*koosh* (Jean) Luc *koosh* I am your father...


This show's been replaced by something called FORAGER!!!


Quirk..... too many....... offspring!

Ken Brazier

We're Bored out of our minds!

Bill Harris

Quirk came back from the dead and now I can't get a date!


Here I'm Number Two!!


You have one bathroom, we have NONE!

Gene A.

In my universe.........(Gulp) you have a toupe'


Measley's been assimilated--and now the Bored are more annoying than ever!


It's the PC-Directive... They just canged it for the 347. time! "Every woman/man/green-bloby-thing should not interfear with any being/culture/subculture/.. usw usw" this correctness is killing us!

Michel Martin del Campo

No catsuits!!! Dear God in heaven!!! NO CATSUITS!!!

Trevor Raggatt

#We should never have let the Changing Rooms team redesign the Enterforaprize


bald Captians want to harvest my beard!


You don't want to know where they put my Trombone!!

Trevor Raggatt

Turns out there really ARE four lights

Trevor Raggatt

...Pavlovaski stayed...Pavlovaski stayed...Pavlovaski stayed...

Trevor Raggatt

Here Gaudi gets more babes than I do

Trevor Raggatt

You thing Q's bad? We've got R,S,T,U and V too!

Trevor Raggatt

Barf's the ship's counsellor and Tryhard heads up security

Trevor Raggatt

The Shudders are attacking, the Daleks have invaded Earth and Darth Vader's head of the Federation

Trevor Raggatt

I keep passing up promotions and Barf stole my girlfriend!

Trevor Raggatt

Tryhard's our helm officer

Trevor Raggatt

We're being attacked by a Bored dodecahedron

Trevor Raggatt

You've got hair and Gainweight is bald

Trevor Raggatt

THe aliens...they gave back Elvis

Plain Simple

I did not choose my career over Doyawanna .

Finder the Bard

This is the only flat surface where a tape-loop of the Teletubbies isn't playing


I may be 'number one', but here they treat me like 'number two'!!!

Captain This'art

You're bold; your Counsellor is nearly stating the obvious; your science is done by an android; your helm is controlled by a blind man and you still have the guts to ask ME what's bad in MY universe?!?!

Captain This'art

Never mind THAT Captain, what happened to YOUR HAIR?!?!?!


Trekkies... Trekkies everywhere!

David Johnston

Political Correctness has taken over everything!

Si Moose

My God! It's Measly! He's Taken over! Go back to your own Universe while you still can!

V. Equinox

The writers snapped and started killing off regulars instead of ensigns!

V. Equinox

All the fans got girlfriends and stopped watching.

David Robinson

The spice girls are still popular!!


The coffee....there's coffee in every nebula


Gainweights hair has taken over the Delta Quadrant!!


It's called leola root. Good Lord, leola root in everything!


Beta used a contraction and the universe was rent asunder!


Tryhard finally said something useful, and now she won't shut up!


The only form of entertainment left is Beta's poetry!


They put ME in charge of a ship!


It's your kids, CAptain! Something has got to be done about your kids!

Mike Howell

Barry Manilow is the computer voice!

Amie Howell

We asked Beta to calculate Pi six years ago!

Amie Howell

It's Captain Barf--everyday is a "Good Day to Die!"


Can't you see it move? I have to wear a trubble for a beard!!


Klingoffs go au natural.


Beta is stuck in a endless joke mode and his on/off switch is broken.

Janak Desai

nothings bad in this universe sir... im just shocked to see you without any hair!

Mazotti Jordan, Green Lantern of Sevspace (I'm Back!)

Measly Cruncher got Ten out of Ten!! Gaudy got Tequilla!! Beta has leagons of women!!!! Who did I get? Annoyme Wildly!!!!!!


All the replicators make is coffee! I NEED SLEEP!!!


Things were fine until the Trubbles conquered the Klingoff Empire


Over here, the only useful bridge crew are the counsellors!


Have you ever seen Barf in a leotard? ...


The men here wear the miniskirts!


Bored women...resistance IS futile!


Can't take Beta singing "If I only had emotion" one more time


Ever heard of Teletribbles? AAaaaaaaa!!!


The Borg have assimilated the Teletubbies!


Life Support - Weapons - Nav - All Microsoft!

Shawn McNiel

You have Ten out of Ten, we have One out of Ten!

Shawn McNiel

Joysticks are manditory!


I just foud out that Quirk is my dad.


Counselor Tryharder has her own talk show!

Doggy Spew

Redshirts SURVIVE ! Guess who dont.

The Great Wizzard

The Bored have been infected with Mad Cow Disease.

ScottE Bemeup

There's no SOAP! Be glad this isn't smellovision.

Harley Cat

Here all the expendable ensigns have revolted and we go on all the dangerous away missiong


I'm the Emergency Holographic First Officer. Please state the nature of your pants-wetting emergency.

The Penguin Weekly



Doyouwanna is our pilot officer! Run before she crashes again!

The Penguin Weekly

In my universe, I'M the one going bald!


The Borg have assimilated everything! And that includes Risa!


The Severation brought back the miniskirt uniforms... for all crewmembers!


Apes have taken over the planet! Luckily, they think I'm one of them...

Tedh Reboe practices with silent letters

SHH!! Don't let Admiral Measley hear you! He's demoting people to ensign like crazy today.

Carla Helm

Quirk lives! and he's getting all my action!


The Bored are everywhere! And none of them look like 10 out of 10!!


The Bored destroyed our last known source of coffee... Gainweight's been ripping up the quadrant trying to find an alternative source of caffeine!

The Great Wizzard

Our chief engineer is Squatty. We need 3 transploders to beam him from his quarters to engineering.

The Great Wizzard

Barfly has shown us "Program Nine".

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

The original series is in season 47!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Measley Cruncher has his own show!


Since he always comes back, Harry Chin has been declared a "cost-efficient ensign". They cloned him.

The Great Wizzard

The Talaxians have conquered Earth and all food contains leola root

The Great Wizzard

Annoyme Wildman is captain and Measly is her first officer.

Jim McNamara

Some guy named Kneelicks programs all the food replicators.

Jim McNamara

Tryhard is security officer, Beta is the counselor..

Jim McNamara

Counselor Tryhard wears a normal uniform!

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