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This idea was suggested by Chop
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

Arrogant Bored! Every time the Bored attack Earth, they don't even bother sending a fleet out to destroy us - just one little cube ought to be enough to conquer our civilisation. Lucky for us!


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by The Great Wizzard. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchlines of the Day.


Mark

The plot holes are too small to send more than one through.

Zhou Kangrui (formerly Mazotti Jordan)

Assevilating you means we get Measly Cruncher. Even we don't deserve that.

P Swayne

You try thinking straight in a rubber suit with garden hoses stuck to your head!

Counselor Tara Lee

Gainweight destroyed most of the others. We have to economize.

Trevor Raggatt

THere can be only one...sorry, wrong franchise

Scifigirl

It's only Forager that can blow up a single cube!

Scifigirl

My overconfidence is my weakness; your faith in your fleet is yours.

Aaron D

You'd like more?

Ego Atenji

Why does it only take one ship to finally beat it?

Hanover Fisk

Toll fees charge by the cube.

Mark

We're blinded by group-think.

Brian K.

Even the Bored Gov't has to balance the budget. Do you have any idea how expensive those things are?

Paul Landry

Cube is irrelevant. Earth is irrelevant. You will be faxcimilated.

Atona

Only one cube? A little hint: do you know those russian dolls..

Atona

The others lost their way somewhere in the Better-Quadrant

Kirk's Wig

We do have other galaxies to assimilate you know...

John Ma

Unlike SevFleet, our other cubes are exploring the rest of the galaxy.

Sion

Nitpicking is futile

Yncke

Why bother? We're the bad guys. We won't even win if we build a sphere of cubes around Earth!

Cpt Thomas

Plausibility is irrelevant

Sci-fi nut

We are on rations. One cube per customer!

Joseph Crossett

Have you seen the price of cubes these days. Holy Moly, are they outrageous!!

Ben Harmer

You think running a collective's cheap? We can only afford one cube per trip!

Viserov

The required paperwork from Paramount for the addition of more than one Cube is futile.

sprinks leda

the same reason we ineficiently wasted so many drones in our war against you given we already knew how to travel in time.

ecgric

We can't let you destroy all our cubes at once.

Captain Treklin

We've got better things to do than assimilate this little planet

Chris G

Thats the biggest problem with the collective...one drivers license

Fleetwood

Rubik's Law: One cube is enough to drive you mad!

Samurai

When we said "Resistance is Futile," it wasn't excluding us.

Mike Howell

We prefer to build our forces "on site"

Mr. Spork

One mind, one voice, one cube.

P-feif

Our other cube is out of warrenty.

P-feif

Our other cube is in the shop....

P-feif

Assimilating you would make the Bored wimps.

P-feif

Well you're not THAT important to us.

Avalon (Flagship.. HA!)

Why did a preadolescent solve all of your probelems?

Luigi Novi

Do you have ANY idea how much the TOLL COSTS would be for a dozen ships?

Luigi Novi

What, do you want to give the model makers aneurisms?!!

Luigi Novi

Hey, our brains are run by binary code. We can either send one or ZERO!'

Luigi Novi

Why do YOU SevFleet guys only send one starship to stop us?

MULTIVAC4

We only have one cube. It's a good thing we numbered the pieces this time."

Derek Jameson

You wamt more cubes??? Whaddaya think these things grows on trees??

Farnell

This is Earth? Darn it! I told 'em we had to come off at the second junction...

Farnell

What? I swear there were another three here a minute ago...

TEFII

Massive fleets of ships!? What do you think this is Sevilon 5?

TEFII

Spaceport Gridlock.

Kalahari Karl

Ahhh, we only have enough Legos to build one at a time.

Michael Bunnell

We wanted to send a giant pyramid but the Goa'way have already cornered that market.

AmOeBa

When we use two, all the drones crash and have to be rebooted.

Dacron

We started out with more, but I was the only one who stopped to ask for directions.

Emily

why are you so bald?

Counselor Tara Lee

Their YOUR writers, ask them.

CitizenjaQ

It's a union thing.

freilicher

The rest of our fleet's busy with Forager.

puam

We hold them back so that we can appear in sequels...

Plain Simple

Why do you Sevfleet only send one sevship when you attack all Bored in the Deltoid Quadrant?

Sion

You've only got one ship in the delta quadrant but that seems to be enough to beat us

Petzi

Why do we wait with time-travel till you see it? - We are dumb.

Allronix

Janeway weeded our fleet with her hairspray.

Trekmaster

We're evil, not smart.

Trekmaster

Bored space is 40,000 light-years away. Think of the fuel costs!

Jaltok

Perfection is sticking to a low budget

Janak Desai

DETAILS DETAILS DETAILS, its always the details, I have assimilated a quarter of the galaxy you know!

Janak Desai

For the same reason we let hostile enemies beam into sensitive areas of the ship, let them roam around, and kill several drones, before retaliating.

Punchline_Joe

Two cubes make a rectangle, and we like to fight fair and square.

Atona

Taking the "easy mode" would bore us too soon

Atona

Well, if you were still Locutus, I'd consider your ideas

Stuart Ferguson

Do you know how many extras it takes to fill 1 cube!?!

Jorinda

You seem to have assimilated our superiority complex.

ScottE Bemeup

We don't like crowds.

ScottE Bemeup

I don't play well with others.

ScottE Bemeup

Even we suffer at the hands of bean counters.

Dial "M" for Maul

Why do you only ever have one ship to defend it?

RAVENID

Have you seen the bill for Special Effects for ONE ship?

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

It's hip to be square!

MindMelda

Our other cube has Windows 98; we can't keep it from crashing!

Khalas

You complain when you lose AND when you win??

Khalas

Why attack you? Why seduce an android? I'm BORED.

Khalas

We're not THE Bored. We're BORED. Attacking you is marginally more interesting than counting our drones.

Khalas

We need the rest of our firepower back home, against the Forager.

Khalas

Why do we carry vital parts of implants OUTSIDE our skins? Why why why...

Flagg

Its a long trip and the other cubes get Bored.

Nodrog_CRC

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a collective mind to grasp the idea of individual ships?

Loki

We're barely surviving Forager's attacks...

Loki

Most of our resources are spent dealing with Forager...

Loki

We don't want to loose too many cubes...

tarquindarkling

Assimilating "sportsmanship" was a mistake.

Allronix

You try finding that much scrap metal

a guy

Well it is a really big cube.

Potswilly

We were never good at assimilating sound strategies.

Potswilly

Let's just say Species 8472 takes precedent over Earth.

div

It's the personal touch

littlestar

Due to budget cuts, there is presently one Bored cube available. Another cube will assimilate your planet shortly. We apologise for any inconvenience. Have a nice day.

MindMelda

We get Bored easily!

Number 0

Why do you humans only send one ship when there is an important mission?

Nodrog_CRC

We think in terms of ones and zeros. However, you ignore the attacks of zero borg ships.

Khalas

The other 12,000 are still tangled up in Cpt Gainweight hair.

Khalas

I can't stand the idea of two of me being here.

Khalas

Questions are irrelevant. Plotholes will be assimilated.

Nova Flash

The rest are still trying to solve themselves.

Nova Flash

I tried, but 6243 cubes couldn't fit into one transwarp tunnel.

Nova Flash

Why do you only put one cube in your tea?

Pinchard: No! She's using technobabble against me! Arrgh!

It's part of a proactive re-engineering program designed to optimise assimilatory cost by-product.

Mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Spheres are in this year!!!

Cpt Thomas

You're not THAT important

Mouse - Jefferies tube 32

We're supposed to be efficient remember?!

Mouse - Jefferies tube 32

OK boys, he wants to up the stakes - order another 30 cubes!

Mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Same reason they only send one baldy captain to sort us out, I guess!

Rabbit

'Cause that Rubik guy keeps solving our defences!

Joel Schimek

A much smaller cube was a major annoyance to your planet in the 1980's...we figure one large cube was enough to take it over

Lt. Cmdr Taev

We're not really bent on assimilating you, we just need something to do, there's truth in the name!

Lt. Cmdr Taev

We would have gotten away with it too, if hadn't been for your crew and this ship!!!

Capt. Joe. (Get it, as in ten out of ten)

I see your point. Next time, we will send 10 out of ten.

Mithandir

Cubes 1 to 50, uncloak

Mithandir

It's the thought that counts

Bob Bennett

We assimilated an accountant on Cashbak 4!

NateDog00

Just because we're a collective doesn't mean we work well in groups.

NateDog00

Assistance is futile.

Avalon

You want me to send more? Okay, have it your way...

Bishop

See Beta, this is what I meant that he never understood me!

Bishop

Well we had sent a sphere of peace, but you blew it up!

Bishop

Why is it you can save the universe but can't grow hair?

Bishop

That's all you care about? Aren't you concerned that I just made out with your android in the back room?

Jeff Sherretz

"The Sphere's in the Shop!"

erik

Because no one would want to see this movie if resistance really were futile.

erik

How badly do you think we want to assimilate a species whose biggest heroes are Dr. Cochrane and you?

Mark

Kiss me, you fool!

Mark

Funny. That's what most species said to our scout ships. The fleet will be along presently.

Mark

Beta, how did you put up with his excessive droning?

Mark

Considering how you drone, you would have made a good one.

Conner_52

Do you have any idea how long it takes our architect, Rubicks of Borg, to figure those things out?

Janewaysgrrl

We're using all the others on Forager. THEY manage to blow up 5 cubes a week!

Chris

If at first you don't succeed, send a bigger cube.

Mezlaq

That Rubik guy is already dead, so we figured one is hard enough to solve.

Kirk's Wig

Our designer was a man called Rubik, so consequently it takes ages for us to rearrange all the colors in the right order

No.one

Have you ever tried to make something that big out of nothing but metal and plastic? It takes an eternity!

MindMelda

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get 3 million workers with only 1 I.Q. point apiece coordinated on a job?

the MASK

The others said they were not in the mood

The Great Wizzard

Get a better story involving us and we come with more cubes.

Leon van Steensel

Would YOU waste more on such a series ?

The Great Wizzard

One cube is all we can spare from the "Deltoid Quadrant Tetris championship"

Paul K

We avoid airport tax assimilation

Trevor Raggatt

We are Bored. We are one...at a time...

Trevor Raggatt

Hey, why didn't we think of that?

Trevor Raggatt

The others got bored and went home

The Great Wizzard

One queen, one planet, one bald man, one machine. Seen the pattern?

Morgan

Rubix conversion is more difficult than it looks.

The Great Wizzard

You are not ready for our Dodecahedrons.

§Sean§

We're afraid that if we send 2 and you defeat us, you'll paint dots on them and hang them off the hanger doors of Spacedock...

T'pek

Ever wondered why we keep saying "You will all become 1"

Cap10Rob

Ohhhh You want us to send MORE?? No Problem!!

Elinon

I can't take the entire Collective saying "Are we there yet?"

Joona Palaste

They are deadly space warships, not Lego bricks!

zips

hmmm, Good point. Next time we'll send more.

The Great Wizzard

Because you humans have always exactly one ship which can fight against us.

Lea

Because pyramids are impractical!

Ann E. Nichols

Because you're not worth any extra effort.

T'Bonz

One is all it takes to win!

derek

I don't know, we're square thinkers

Mike Howell

We have to cut assimilation costs somewhere!

Mike Howell

What, you think asimilating the entire Universe is cheap?

JC

You're not the only ones with budget problems!

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