|Sev Trek: The Comic Strip|
This week: Barfly rescuing Forager! An unlikely hero for Forager is the neurotic Lieutenant Barfly. Just why is he so obsessed with bringing them back to Earth?.
|These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline
was written by Trevor Raggatt. You can read the
transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the
competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and
Punchlines of the Day.|
Dak (Formerly known as Kahless)
It's a little trick I learned from Ten out of Ten: Go where the cameras go!
The Doctor might be the only one approving my pathology for holograms...
They can replicate shuttles endlessly!
There's a babe on board that I must let Assimilate me.
I have to save the public from this torture.
10 out of 10...sorry, the "Goddess of Empathy" thing doesn't do anything for me anymore
They'll make me appear to have a personality by comparison
Because they are the only people in Sevfleet that don't view me as a giant spider
I'm hoping it will impress you enough to go out with me.
Because next to those nuts, I look almost sane!
Because Parasite is the only man in the galaxy who spends more time in the holodeck than I do!
Reg: Lt. Parasite borrowed the last copy of Program 9, and I want it back!
10 of 10 is scripted to hook up with me in the final episode and I can't wait!
About 200 surviving Maquis crew with an average bounty of 5000 credits - do the math!
Finally, a ship where I can indulge my hollowdeck addiction and get promoted!
YOU said something about coming down to earth...
I could use the extra hollow space.
Hello! Do the words "Obsessive-Compulsive" mean anything to you, *Counselor*?
Ten out of Ten, WooWoo!
Who said anything about getting them back... I'm trying to create a gigantic blackhole right near them!
I am the obsessed character, remember?
I'm hoping to score a perfect Ten!
It's true. Men prefer blonds.
Have you seen that 10 of 10 chick? I've always got along with computers better than people!
I want Ten back, BEFORE she discovers real clothes.
Captain Pickhard needs an emergency hair transplant...and gainweight is his only hope!
It keeps us both in a job.
Aren't you the one who can read minds?
Unlike you, I want to be useful once in my life.
YOU said I needed a hobby.
At least their Captain has hair and drinks a REAL drink!
Measley Cruncher and I want Kneelix to join our organization. Pathetic and Annoying Characters Anonymous.
I've annoyed everyone in this quadrant. I need some fresh blood.
I just can't get my leola root stew right and i need Kneelicks's help!
They've got at least four crew members less charismatic than me!
Admiral Parasite will promote me for getting his son home!
Two words - Fair Haven!
If I save them, I'm a shoe-in for the fifth series!
I want the hollow doctor’s emitter because I met this hollow girl.
Would you rather have me fix another part of the ship?
I like things as lost as I am.
I can't believe I've found a ship full of people more insecure than I am.
Well, with Kneelicks here, I won't be the most annoying guy on Earth any longer!
I want to see the paint on ten dry
Lets just say Resistance is Futile
I'll give you ten out of ten guesses!
Caunselor Tara Lee
The sooner they get back, the sooner I'll get to star in the next spin off.
I need friends and I've already annoyed everyone in the Alfalfa Quadrant.
Research - I'm writing a paper on "Catsuits - An Enduring Theme in Sevfleet".
Er...there's this hot Bored ba...uh...I mean...they really want to come back!
Are you kidding?They're even more dysfunctional than me!
Sev Fleet is interested in their self-replicating scuttlecrafts.
All the women in this quadrant have rejected me.
I want to try all thier holodeck programs: Janeway's Da'Vinci, Tom Paris' Pool Hall and Captain Proton, Tuvok's Marquee Mutiny, and Fair Haven.
They are my last hope of finding my first friends.
The doctor is my hero, I want to be just like him. (So I can live in the holodeck forever)
All good shows come to an end others get cancelled!
I've modified some nanoprobes to make Ten "comply".
If I don't, by the time they get back, all we'll get is re-runs.
They've got someone who looks better in a catsuit.
I want KneeLicks as my counsellor now.
Let's see... Female captain, female engineer, female stellar cartographer...
I've detected seventy new life forms in their kitchen.
Seven isn't only the number of legs on a crippled spider.
The women on board outnumber the men. Good odds!
AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! I swear it has nothing to do with 10 out of 10!
They're breaking the PC Directive too much. They must be stoped!
We need a sample of Gainweights hair to advance our farcefield technology.
Can't you read my mind? Are you really that useless?
Their ship has the only bathroom in the galaxy.
Forager needs to have here 60,000 light service and its already way overdue.....
I thought that if a hologram could learn to live with humans, he could teach me a thing or two!
The show needed ratings and I needed a job.
I left my hollowdeck vacation program on their computer!
They're the only people more out of touch than me.
Ruth (from Canada)
So I'm no longer the most pathetic Sev Fleet member in the Alfalfa Quadrant.
Since I always screw up, I figure it'll keep them AWAY!
Sevfleet put me on it since I never get anything right!
Compared to them, I'll seem less annoying!
Where else in the universe might I be able to find some one desperate enough to date me?
Because they have the only known holographic mobile emitter in the galaxy!
Won't they be surprised when my wormhole takes them the other direction.
Can you think of a better way to end this series?!
It's by last, best hope for screentime!
They accidently left with my private holodeck programs.
Hey, what is it that you do around here anyway?
The only people who ever liked me were holograms. Maybe the doc will like me.
Ever heard of Screen Time?
Madison Square Ted Rebo
It keeps me off the Hollowdeck. No, wait, this is the Hollowdeck!
I wanna stop the serie before heading for a rating desaster!
they're the only people in the universe more dull than me!
Because with their level of fantasy technobabble I won't need a holodeck.
They've got the only girls that haven't rejected me yet.
They've captured a borg drone that I'm dying to...interrogate.
Because your only an 8 and I want a Ten!
Just trying to be useful. You should try it sometime.
I gotta get to Gainweight before that *Chocolatay* guy does.
It's a new therapy for my holodeck obsession: get totally obsessed about something real, yet unattainable.
All the holoprograms in the world won't beat the chick-potential on that thing.
Sshhyeaah...Did you *see* the crew roster?
Are you kidding me? I have about 147 hours of "A Briefing with Kneelicks" to catch up on!
Must have new toy!
Ten doesn't have a boyfriend yet - I still have a chance
I'm sorry, even YOU can't compete with Ten out of Ten.
They're lonely, I'm lonely... "Birds of a feather"...
Four words: Ten out of Ten.
If you thought I had no life on the Enterforaprize...
I left one of my Hollowdeck programs there while installing the EMH
Sev Fleet weapons development wants to check out Kneelick's cooking, to use against the Bored.
The holo doc is going to introduce me to some cute holo chicks.
Sev Fleet medical wants the holo doc's Borg enhanced breast enlargement technology.
I'm not, I'm trying to find a way to send you to them. Just a little favour for Piker.
The Hollow Doc is the only one that I can relate to.
The Hollow Doc and I really get along, He's like that father that I never had.
Let's just say my hair line's receding but my reputation proceeding.
Well, more screen time for me!
Everyone needs a hobby.
They're like me, lost and waiting to be found!
Ann E. Nichols
I want to see Piker's face when he sees me bringing Ten to theSev Fleet Ball.
Ann E. Nichols
Pinchard'll pin a medal on me if I get him a date with Janeway.
Ann E. Nichols
The Robinsons want exclusive rights to being lost in space.
If I can't get out of this pidgeonhole, I might as well make myself at home, baby!
All my good Holodeck programmes are on it!
That Kneelicks just cracks me up
Lt. Cmdr Taev
Who wouldn't want that borg woman back?!
A ship that treats a hologram like a living crewmember must be the perfect place for me.
I promised my cat she could meet Kneelicks!
If it returns within this year, I win 1000 bars of gold-pressed latinum!
Tomb Parasite owes me 5 bucks!
The Great Wizzard
You're not MY counsellor any more. I have "Counsellor Ten" now.
The Great Wizzard
It's that or back to my hollowdeck addiction...
The Great Wizzard
They have the only copy of "Program Nine"
I think I left my wallet in the holo-matrix.
Sev Fleet put a bounty on all those Maquis crew members
Oh, it's just this week's excuse to get you to visit me.
Have you SEEN Ten?!?!
Parasite borrowed his dad's keys before they left, and the Admiral still can't get into his car!
So Barf can join the crew before the show ends.
It could be a 35-year job -- talk about job security!
So I can stand next to Tomb. His hairline is receding even faster than mine.
They have a state-of-the-art holodeck!
Two numbers: 7 and 9
Let's just say I'll get ten out of ten for effort...
Oh... just ten out of ten reasons!
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