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| Sev Trek: The Comic Strip This week: The fifth Trek series! As the impending fifth Trek series approaches, I challenged Sevilians to come up with our own set of characters we'd like to see in a Trek series. Rather than follow the cookie cutter techniques of earlier series by going for the standard characters - the logical straight man, the comic relief, the hybrid alien/human always torn by their two halves, the outcast (everyone on DS9), the child genius, we thought we'd try to create some more original, innovative (and ludicrous) characters. | ||
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| Other Punchlines | ||
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| These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline
was written by Ashley (Lone Phizzerman) and Wendee Rae (K'Fuzzi). You can read the
transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the
competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and
Punchlines of the Day. | ||
 Jana | A hyper-intelligent shade of the colour blue (hhgttg) | ||
Bishop | A captain who screams "Oh my god were all going to die" in every sitituation, including diplomatic and exploration missions. | ||
Rejected by the Borg | A ship full of water and an all aqualifeform-crew | ||
Sarcasmo | A politically-correct cast of thousands featuring gays, lesbians, bisexuals, blacks, women, and a representative from every other ethnic and racial group known to man. | ||
Spockman#77 | One of those small gray Aliens that abductees keep seeing,the ones with the small bodies and big black eyes! | ||
littlestar | Captain Bug-Eyed, Multiple-Tentacled Blobby Thing! (at least he has his own toilet!) | ||
MindMelda | Commander Bush: Can't quite get enough votes to be made a Captain. | ||
imq2u | Britney Spears as the mute ship counsoler who communicates through body language | ||
peter | A big cast of politically correct people.....and Pauly Shore!! | ||
Antti | Jeeves - a black android bartender | ||
Mattheq | A human/alien hybrid who has difficulty keeping the moral smugness of his human side in check. | ||
Mattheq | An exploding console | ||
Bobby | A half Klingoff half Betavoid councillor,that would be able to sense how you were feeling, then kill you where you stand | ||
Damian | Captain Hairline: A male captain with hair and a uni-brow. | ||
7 of 9 forever. | EVERY series should have a beautiful babe slinking around in a paint-on catsuit. | ||
Ashley | A trekkie who knows more about the ship than the crew do! | ||
Ashley | Lt. Decor, simply walks around the ship decorating for the season/holiday. | ||
Antti | Beta's head | ||
MindMelda | Lt. Kloy: Half Klingoff-Half Betazoid, he doesn't know whether he want to read your brain or headbutt it. | ||
Ali | B'Uxom Baib: half-betazoid/half-klingon.She'll sympathise with your problems and then beat your brains out | ||
Sevanonymous | A logical brilliant sixteen-year-old comic relief character hybrid always torn between doing what's smart and doing what's funny. | ||
Filosofical | Jane-Luc Siskirk: A trill captain, with four separate symbionts inside one body. Each symbiont draws the best from starfleets top four captains. can bore you to death with technobabble, lobby for women's lib, date eahc and every gender and species of alien, and wear a chrome dome and goatee without shame. | ||
V. Equinox | A water cooler in a uniform - who has to be treated with the same respect as any other member of the crew. | ||
V. Equinox | The Continuity Police - Their work never ends. | ||
V. Equinox | Your New Chief Medical Officer: Doctor Kevorkian. | ||
V. Equinox | Sparky the Engineering Dog. | ||
V. Equinox | A science officer who, due to a tragic accident, can only speak technobabble. | ||
Gregory Griffiths | Gaby Cook as the captain! | ||
D. Lerious | a captain played by Sean Connery. | ||
T'Rowa | A starship dominated by a non-human species, who keep the environmental controls set for THEIR comfort, and the humans are the ones who have to "make adjustments." | ||
T'Rowa | A starship on which women outnumber men noticeably on the command crew. | ||
peter | Ensign Bill S Preston Esquire, and Lieutennant Ted Theodore Logan | ||
Liz | All characters -- the captain, the logical straight man etc -- played by Robert Picardo and Jeri Ryan | ||
peter | Captain Bill Gates of the starship Monopoly | ||
peter | Get all those demented psychos we all saw in that movie Trekkies | ||
peter | An entire crew of Bored named 1 of 8, 2 of 8, 3 of 8, 4 of 8, 5 of 8, 6 of 8, 7 of 8, 8 of 8 and Dave | ||
insanity ink | The old fart of an ensine: Been in Sevfleet for years, and just goes on about how much better things were in his day. | ||
Davis | A computer core with a emotion chip! | ||
Davis | Instead of a holographic doctor... a holographic captain! | ||
Kahless, dead and loving it | The captain is a Thrill symbiont without a host. It just sits there making command decisions in a tub of brine | ||
Guinan | Lt. Normal -- Female officer who does NOT have a Barbie doll figure, D- cups and a perfect complexion. | ||
Kahless, what's the use... | A captain who has lost all will to live and just sits there muttering 'What's the use?" while his crew plots his destruction | ||
Die Hard- With a Ted Rebo! | A cast who will go on to no famous roles after the conclusion of the series. In other words, Jurassic Trek II- the Ratings Toilet. | ||
One Ted Rebo, Two Ted Rebo, Three Ted Rebo, Four. | Armus the Chef, who makes appetizing meals out of any crewmembers with a small role and a relationship with a main character. "Char of Yar", anyone? | ||
Ted Rebok the Vulcan says that this is illogical, and that a burrito breakfast is "up". | A major male character who doesn't pursue numerous women, because of either his high ethical standards or his jock itch. | ||
Kahless, postmaster general, extrordinaire | A captain who's on the last strands of his sanity and tends to fly off the deep end at inopropriate times (in a diplomatic meeting, on dates, in front of new cadets, at his court martial hearings, etc.) | ||
Kahless, been there, done that | An over-zealous Trek fan who tends to gush mindlessly, state trivia no one on the film crew even knows, and run screaming up to characters and tear off part of their clothes or get their autograph | ||
Theodore Rebo- the anti-Ted Rebo! Cackle!!! "Ted Rebo! What are you doing here?!" "Your reign of perversion is over!" *Phizzer sound* | Iort, the anti-Troi/Tryhard, a Betazoid who doesn't state the obvious, isn't a counselor, and wears the sevfleet uniform! | ||
Kahless saying "Let's get creative, people!" | A non-human captain as our main character who isn't Klingon, Cardassian, Bajoran, Vulcan, or Ferengi | ||
Sir! Ted Rebos are down to 47%! | A Cardassian, Klingon, or Ferengi who isn't discriminated against and doesn't enforce the stereotypes imposed on them. | ||
Ted Rebo, over a barrel and more fun the a barrel of monkeys. | A Bolian who gets a major role. | ||
Elf | We had the ship`s haircutter, cook, barkeeper and tailor. What about a turbolift-boy? | ||
MindMelda | Ensign Unbreakable: He takes an exploding console and keeps right on going.(Saves on costume fittings for minor characters.) | ||
Elf | A barkeeper who doesn't turns out to be an indispensable member of the crew. | ||
Elf | Some life really not as we know it... | ||
Elf | An andoid who doesn`t want to become more human. | ||
zenkit | The first gaseous living entity to enter Sevfleet. | ||
Nails | Unimatrix 4783, first Bored cube in Sevfleet | ||
Nodrog_CRC | Ensign Gulliver, who is a result of a transploder acident is always muh smaller or much larger then everyone else he meets. | ||
Nodrog_CRC | An engineer who does NOT form emotional attachments to non-sentient objects. | ||
Nodrog_CRC | A non-emotionaly velcron who noone tries to humanisize. | ||
Willow | Gamma-the psychotic android | ||
David Esquivel | The Atarian race - A new race of enemies of the Federation. Their main matter-conversion weapon is replacing critical-function consoles with useless one-button joysticks. | ||
Trekmaster | The Teletubbies as portable alien viewscreens! | ||
The Great Wizzard | A human main character with a non-American name/background. | ||
Yanick Côté | Captain HAL GORE, a cyborg. | ||
Yanick Côté | The doctor, copied as many times as necessary to fulfill all posts. | ||
Yanick Côté | An ex-borg comic relief that knows ALL the jokes... | ||
Powerlord | Captain Siamese - Has two heads thanks to a tranploder accident. | ||
Powerlord | Ensign Recyclable - Manages to come back to life at the end of every episode | ||
Yanick Côté | A bad velcron humorist acting as morale officer. | ||
Wendee Rae | Ensign Babyface - A super genius infant who can save the ship and change his own diapers at the same time. | ||
Wendee Rae | Lieutenant Ladiesman - a witty, young, handsome, cocky human male who only speaks in innuendos and gets slapped at least once an episode by alien women or fellow crewmembers. | ||
Matt | A Councellor who can't stand people complaining, and uses lines such as: "You've got problems ? What about me?" and "I think you've mistaken me for someone who cares." | ||
P-feif | Any character that is just a big, fat, anoying, slob, that is in star fleet and looks really out of place in a star fleet uniform.(Besides Squatty) | ||
P-feif | Counseler Deana Troy of BORG! | ||
Brandon Amaro | Counsoler Icanbeanything: A ships counsoler that is actually usefull! | ||
Captain Big Mouth | Melting Pot: A character who is often torn between his 150 different sides. | ||
Katie | Dr. Grinch ... Grumpier than Buns, Palaski, & Pickhard combined! | ||
peter | Mourn as ships communications officer | ||
peter | Put Cue in charge - a problem arises, he snaps his fingers, problem gets solved, end of show in 3 minutes | ||
peter | Captain Quirkardwaysko - a combination of the 4 previous captains. hes bald like you wouldnt believe, chases all kinds of women, occasionally wears a rug shaped like a huge bun, drinks earl grey mixed with strong coffee and ractageno and is completely politically correct (this is what producers do for characters when they are all out of ideas) | ||
Archer Sagitarius | Lt. Cornicopia. He's a 17-year-old half-vulcan, half-talaxian hybrid who's fiercly logical side must battle with his irritatingly goofy side while trying to fit in and not be the outcast. | ||
The Penguin Weekly | A sumo wrestler captain. | ||
Robert Saturn | Ensign Kenny-gets killed in every episode, but keeps coming back! | ||
Robert Saturn | An alien who doesn't have funny ridges on his nose | ||
The Penguin Weekly | A bald Ferengi captain . . . oh, wait . . . | ||
The Penguin Weekly | A new captain every episode, since the last one dies every time. | ||
The Penguin Weekly | A shape-shifter captain. | ||
Daniel Nuby | Lets make the ships computer a character instead of backgorund noise. It can always make snappy combacks and quick retorts with a snide sounding voice. | ||
Daniel Nuby | An engineering officer who goes around the ship with a cane. When something needs fixed, he just whacks it with the cane and it works. | ||
The Penguin Weekly | A captain with normal hair. | ||
Rhea Stone | Doctor Kay' Vorkian, a kilingon doctor that holds firm in the belief that if you are so injured to need a medical bay that you don't deserve to live in his world. | ||
Rhea Stone | Commander Howard Stern-- He works the commiunications system and insults alien envoys and sev fleet commanders with regularity | ||
Rhea Stone | Crewman Bill-- this is the guy who does all the routine work on the ships. IE. He vacuums the floors, changes the light bulbs and cleans up the exploding consoles | ||
Nomis | Morn's family having a nice dinner conversation | ||
Mazotti Jordan, Green Lantern of Sevspace | Ensign Kama Kazi, Chief of Security. | ||
Kalahari Karl | Ensign Crochunter: A yellow-shirted man speaking with an Australian accent who recklessly jumps in front of every dangerous opportunity. | ||
Mazotti Jordan, Green Lantern of Sevspace | Commander Useless, a half Betazed, half Klingon moron. | ||
Leander | Baby Spook. BIG ears, BIG head! | ||
peter | We need Mr. Toycorder working at sensor relay! | ||
peter | Members of the Backstreet Boys as redshirted ensigns. | ||
Ellis | A Brown-nosing, captain's assistant who's incompetent but there anyways because he's some Admiral's son... | ||
Doggy Spew | Measly, but he gets killed every episode. | ||
evay | Measley's corpse. | ||
Nodrog_CRC | Floof, a highly evolved tribble. | ||
Nodrog_CRC | A captain who brings back the miniskirt! | ||
Nodrog_CRC | A member of an alien species that's part of the crew that could NOT be a human wearing a costume. | ||
Christopher | Q-J: The omnipotent, caffeine-addicted love child of Q and Janeway | ||
Number 0 | A tribble at the helm | ||
Number 0 | Species 8472 as Counselor | ||
talshiarHQ | A thrill who got his symbiont replaced by a tribble... | ||
Roy | Ensign Kenny: An ensign who gets killed by freak accidents, but allways returns the next episode. | ||
Joona Palaste | A black female Carsalesman in a wheelchair, to cater for minority quotas. | ||
Bad Atom | Kang and Kodos from The Simpsons | ||
Bad Atom | A functioning warp-core ejection system | ||
Bad Atom | The sentient turbolift with a tendency for mischief | ||
Bad Atom | The presidential winner according to the Florida recount (yes it took 400 years) | ||
Bad Atom | A Species 8472/tribble hybrid named Fuzzy Lumpkins | ||
Bad Atom | The part-human, part-Klingon, part-Romulan, part-Ferengi, part-Bajoran captain of the USS Melting Pot | ||
The Omnipotent Q/Bad Atom | The all-Dabo girl crew of the U.S.S. Blackjack | ||
Yanick Côté | A crewless sentient ship. | ||
T'bonz | Zzz - Cue's boring cousin | ||
T'Bonz | Z - Cue's cousin | ||
Cameron Mason | A half Velcron, half Klingoff Counsellor | ||
JC | Captain PC - a crippled, blind-in-one-eye, gay captain descended from every minority race in the galaxy and able to whip out a tribal folk story from any of his descendant cultures to suit any situation. | ||
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