|Sev Trek: The Comic Strip|
Quirk's epitaph! This week, Sevilians got to write Captain Pinchard's final epitaph on Captain Quirk... and his gravestone
|These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchlines
were written by
The Great Wizzard (You're dead, Gym) and Pointless Albatross (Boldly went). You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the
competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and
Punchlines of the Day.|
I'd feel awful about this if it weren't for Shatner's upcoming novels.
I guess he went a bridge too far.
"Die with my boots on" indeed!
Gravestone: Friend to the toupee industry.
Yes, those rocks make your butt look big.
Gravestone: for sale: brains - never used!
Gravestone: For sale: 1 wig extra small, 1 girdle extra large, 1 shirt extra ripped, 100 rocks extra hard
Gravestone: For sale: 1 wig, size extra large
Gravestone: To Be Continued
Data, beam down one fitting Shakespeare quote.
I told you to stay away from Heavily!
*Now* who's the redshirt?
Gravestone/Pinchhard: Rest in pebbles
This franchise ain't big enough for the two of us
Grave: Here lie Captain Quirk and "Fluffy", beloved hairpiece
Gravestone: 'Dead? Yeah right...'
My, My, what people do for that extra bit of screentime...
Sometimes, there are never enough stones...
Even silver screen is not large enough for us
If it hadn't been for the girdle, I don't think I would have had enough rocks!
Now your a ROCK star...Happy?
Run in and steal my scene, wil you?!
Pinchhard: .....Of all the Captian I have Encountered,he had the biggest Ego!
Performed his final rock climb.
Lover, fighter, deader.
Has boldly gone to where everyone will eventually go.
Dead, at last!
Died with his boots on.
Who's the more attractive Captain now?
He never finished his last sentence.
I don't care which series you're from. That's gotta hurt!
You had to try and pick up the Duras sisters, didn't you?
Even his Rigor Mortis isn't as stiff as his acting.
If that doesn't shut the old nutter up, nothing will!
He would have preferred to have been buried under trubbles.
Now he's got rocks ON his head
Looks like Quirk took a little too much LDS, i mean look at him, he's stoned!
gravestone: should have left the red shirt at home
Now maybe somebody *else* can get a date on this show!
Gravestone: ...Died Onscreen, And on TV, and on Stage, and on.....
'gravestone' - Boldly decomposing...
you have to accept hair loss.
It's about time rugs went out of fashion
That's you dead until the ratings demand a freak tachyon pulse quasi resonance alpha storm, matey.
Now try and make another cameo.
Gravestone: CAPTAIN QUIRK: He boldly went
He wanted to be buried with an Orion slave girl...
That'll stop him signing
Well, it's no torpedo tube, but it'll do.
Dang it, why'd his girdle have to break...
If that does'nt stop his acting career nothing will
*gravestone*...Bald as a baby's bottom, and twice as smelly.
There's room for only one captain in this galaxy!
at last, the universe is safe...
This is as good as a grave you get with Priceline
Finally got rid of him
Playing dead -- this is the best acting you've ever done
Zeve Bellringer of Red Dwarf
Gravestone: At least I only directed ONCE. Pinchhard: And that was once too many.
gravestone: To Bolderly go...
That was a landslide decision.
I'm never going to find enough stones to cover his entire body!
little green woman
Fravestone: To baldly go...
Finally, the rest of us can get the girls!
That's for writing "Get A Life!"
Rumours of your death are hopefully not exaggerated at all.
Sorry, this was a NEMESIS project. It will not revive you.
I'm sorry, but I had bet long odds that Spook would survive you!
Well, it was my duty to cast the first stone...
Gravestone: Captain Quirk. He will never R.I.P. a shirt again.
Gravestone: Here lies Captain Kirk. Finally mistaken for a lowly ensign.
The only thing bigger than his ego was his waistline.
Captain Quirk - the abridged version.
gravestone: Here lies Captain Quirk: This will be the last time he ever rips his shirt
Gravestone: Contents: Captain Quirk, hair not included.
gravestone: here lies a man who goes flat out to save the universe
may he rest with hairpiece
Advice: Next time talk faster, eat less, date less.
Do mankind a favour, stay dead.
It's a good thing death isn't the setback it used to be...
The ultimate proof that you don't prosper if you live long.
Is it OK if I take your tribble?.. Ok, I take silence as a yes.
Gravestone:"Here lies Gym Quirk.He'll never direct again.
Gravestone: here rest the father of our galaxy, literally.
Right. You stay dead or I'm calling for a large starship to fall on you!
It's a good thing I marked this place well. It'll make "The search for Quirk" a very short movie...
Quirk is dead. Long live his hairpiece.
Damn, I should have rescued the rug.
Gravestone: May his shirt rest in pieces.
gravestone: Hair today, Gone Tommorow
Hmm, he's speaking even slower than normal!
Now he'll see all his ensigns again!
The Red 9
Gravestone: Give... my... dramatic... pauses... to... Broadway.
He could womanise with the best of them
This makes me the oldest captain. Uh oh...
gravestone: Ok, maybe I didn't die alone.
And Just when I thought he couldn't speak any slower.....
Get up Quirk, they're made of Styrofoam!
I told him to watch for falling rocks!
Picard: Man, could he rip a shirt.
Alright, Quirk! Let's see you worm your way out of this one!
Gravestone: Captain Quirk... has boldly gone!
Quirk is gone, but his wig will live on.
The line must be drawn here, now. You won't be directing the next movie!
Brashness to ashes, guts to dust...
I'll be damned if I got my hands dirty digging!
gravestone: "Captain Quirk: Father of:........" Pickhard: "We're going to need a longer gravestone."
Gravestone: "Captain Quirk: Died as he acted. Flat."
gravestone: "Captain Quirk - A lover, a fighter, a hero..." Pickhard: "And his own epitat writer"
gravestone: He is survived by his hairpiece.
To expand amongst the stars is a Captain's quest... but he expanded in other areas...
Now he´s boulderly gone where no one ever gone before.
non compos mentis
will history judge me a murderer, or a saviour?
May the women of the galaxy now sleep soundly...
Ha! I might be old and bald, but I'm still standing
First time he's lying alone
Alas poor Quirk, I knew him well, a man of infinite girth
The hot sun on those rocks and we'll have baked Quirk in no time.
A great man deserves a burial fit for a hamster.
He wanted to die on the bridge and instead died under it.
Who rocks harder NOW?!?
I should have checked his pockets for loose change.
Garvestone: Father of the galaxy
I feel as if a great weight has been lifted off my sholders, and umped on the ground, and covered by a bunch of rocks.
gravestone: "Death, not just for ensigns anymore"
Pinchhard: Of all the souls I ever knew, his was the most..(sob) hammy.
gravestone: "He died with his girdle on"
This is a grave matter indeed.
Too bad all the redshirts he killed are waiting for him in the afterlife.
The red shirt finally got to him.
Now stay out of my movies! I'm the captain!
How ironic . . . buried under fossilized tribbles.
I finally killed the only thing bigger than his ego . . . his waistline!
Picard: Guess now it's MY job to protect the galaxy! Gravestone: See you soon!
This will be his final beam out.
Gravestone: Beam me up! Pinchard: Make it so!
Gravestone: A girl in every planetoid.
He was like the father I never had... Most likely, he really was.
Gravestone: Here lies Gym Quirk. He's dead Buns.
Gravestone: (drawings of little women, like those pilots use to mark how many airplanes they shot down)
He came in peace... He's now in pieces.
Hair today, gone tomorrow!
You didn't tell me where your little black book was!
Between a rock and a hard place, eh?
The rocks of the many outweighed you!
Get off my bridge indeed!!!
AND STAY DEAD!!!
Death... The Final Frontier...
Maybe I should have taken his hair piece?
I wonder if I should've checked for a pulse?
I knew I should have asked for his autograph before we saved the universe
There's no place for two captains, Quirk!
Now Sev trek is MINE!! HAHAHAHAHAHA
The Great Wizzard
All stones within 2 square miles and I still can't cover his body completely...
The Great Wizzard
I still wonder how I was able to make a gravestone with my bare hands...
I'm just thankful I didn't have to bury Squatty!
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