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This idea was suggested by Christopher.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

Quirk's epitaph! This week, Sevilians got to write Captain Pinchard's final epitaph on Captain Quirk... and his gravestone


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchlines were written by The Great Wizzard (You're dead, Gym) and Pointless Albatross (Boldly went). You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchlines of the Day.


Standback

I'd feel awful about this if it weren't for Shatner's upcoming novels.

Bill Harris

I guess he went a bridge too far.

T'Bonz

"Die with my boots on" indeed!

Harry Hazeel

Gravestone: Friend to the toupee industry.

sess-pity

Yes, those rocks make your butt look big.

sess-pity

Gravestone: for sale: brains - never used!

sess-pity

Gravestone: For sale: 1 wig extra small, 1 girdle extra large, 1 shirt extra ripped, 100 rocks extra hard

sess-pity

Gravestone: For sale: 1 wig, size extra large

sess-pity

Gravestone: To Be Continued

sess-pity

Data, beam down one fitting Shakespeare quote.

Tom Hyde

I told you to stay away from Heavily!

Bill Harris

*Now* who's the redshirt?

Elf

Gravestone/Pinchhard: Rest in pebbles

Trevor Raggatt

This franchise ain't big enough for the two of us

Trevor Raggatt

Grave: Here lie Captain Quirk and "Fluffy", beloved hairpiece

dOdo

Gravestone: 'Dead? Yeah right...'

dOdo

My, My, what people do for that extra bit of screentime...

Elf

Sometimes, there are never enough stones...

Elf

Gravestone: I`m...dead...Buns...

Alka

Even silver screen is not large enough for us

Polgara

If it hadn't been for the girdle, I don't think I would have had enough rocks!

Fleetwood

Now your a ROCK star...Happy?

dotchi

Run in and steal my scene, wil you?!

Spockman#77

Pinchhard: .....Of all the Captian I have Encountered,he had the biggest Ego!

Mark

Performed his final rock climb.

Mark

Lover, fighter, deader.

Mark

Has boldly gone to where everyone will eventually go.

Mark

Dead, at last!

Mark

Died with his boots on.

Space Katet

Who's the more attractive Captain now?

P-feif

He never finished his last sentence.

Gregory Griffiths

I don't care which series you're from. That's gotta hurt!

Bill Harris

You had to try and pick up the Duras sisters, didn't you?

quonous

Even his Rigor Mortis isn't as stiff as his acting.

Pointless Albatross

If that doesn't shut the old nutter up, nothing will!

Justin Allen

He would have preferred to have been buried under trubbles.

John Lang

Now he's got rocks ON his head

peter

Looks like Quirk took a little too much LDS, i mean look at him, he's stoned!

peter

gravestone: should have left the red shirt at home

Bill Harris

Now maybe somebody *else* can get a date on this show!

Corsair

Gravestone: ...Died Onscreen, And on TV, and on Stage, and on.....

24/7

'gravestone' - Boldly decomposing...

X

you have to accept hair loss.

Sherri

It's about time rugs went out of fashion

Michael Foster

That's you dead until the ratings demand a freak tachyon pulse quasi resonance alpha storm, matey.

Morgan

Now try and make another cameo.

Morgan

Gravestone: CAPTAIN QUIRK: He boldly went

Ash

He wanted to be buried with an Orion slave girl...

Roy

That'll stop him signing

alfie

Well, it's no torpedo tube, but it'll do.

IcebreakerX

Dang it, why'd his girdle have to break...

Xcalibur

If that does'nt stop his acting career nothing will

Cmdr. Solomon

*gravestone*...Bald as a baby's bottom, and twice as smelly.

AT

There's room for only one captain in this galaxy!

EvilDevil

at last, the universe is safe...

Zathras

This is as good as a grave you get with Priceline

Zathras

Finally got rid of him

Zathras

Playing dead -- this is the best acting you've ever done

Zeve Bellringer of Red Dwarf

Gravestone: At least I only directed ONCE. Pinchhard: And that was once too many.

Allan

gravestone: To Bolderly go...

Allan

That was a landslide decision.

Bas Penris

I'm never going to find enough stones to cover his entire body!

little green woman

Fravestone: To baldly go...

Bill Harris

Finally, the rest of us can get the girls!

Mrs. Spock

That's for writing "Get A Life!"

Rabbit

Rumours of your death are hopefully not exaggerated at all.

chrifgo

Sorry, this was a NEMESIS project. It will not revive you.

chrifgo

I'm sorry, but I had bet long odds that Spook would survive you!

chrifgo

Well, it was my duty to cast the first stone...

chrifgo

Gravestone: Captain Quirk. He will never R.I.P. a shirt again.

Thorongil

Gravestone: Here lies Captain Kirk. Finally mistaken for a lowly ensign.

ScottE Bemeup

The only thing bigger than his ego was his waistline.

Haathi

Captain Quirk - the abridged version.

Trekmaster

gravestone: Here lies Captain Quirk: This will be the last time he ever rips his shirt

MindMelda

Gravestone: Contents: Captain Quirk, hair not included.

Daniel

gravestone: RRRRIP!

admirably lost

gravestone: here lies a man who goes flat out to save the universe

ecgric

may he rest with hairpiece

WooHoo

Advice: Next time talk faster, eat less, date less.

WooHoo

Do mankind a favour, stay dead.

chris

It's a good thing death isn't the setback it used to be...

sess-pity

The ultimate proof that you don't prosper if you live long.

sess-pity

Is it OK if I take your tribble?.. Ok, I take silence as a yes.

talshiarHQ

Gravestone:"Here lies Gym Quirk.He'll never direct again.

EvilDevil

Gravestone: here rest the father of our galaxy, literally.

Mike

Right. You stay dead or I'm calling for a large starship to fall on you!

Glorendil

It's a good thing I marked this place well. It'll make "The search for Quirk" a very short movie...

John Fassbender

Quirk is dead. Long live his hairpiece.

Polgara

Damn, I should have rescued the rug.

Twister Sister

Gravestone: May his shirt rest in pieces.

Kyle Bruck

gravestone: Hair today, Gone Tommorow

HirogenHunter

Hmm, he's speaking even slower than normal!

HirogenHunter

Now he'll see all his ensigns again!

The Red 9

Gravestone: Give... my... dramatic... pauses... to... Broadway.

Belle-Anna

He could womanise with the best of them

Raven

This makes me the oldest captain. Uh oh...

Raven

gravestone: Ok, maybe I didn't die alone.

????

And Just when I thought he couldn't speak any slower.....

Mike Howell

Get up Quirk, they're made of Styrofoam!

Mike Howell

I told him to watch for falling rocks!

Peter Sawatzky

Picard: Man, could he rip a shirt.

Potswilly

Alright, Quirk! Let's see you worm your way out of this one!

Potswilly

Gravestone: Captain Quirk... has boldly gone!

Brian

Quirk is gone, but his wig will live on.

Brian

The line must be drawn here, now. You won't be directing the next movie!

Brian

Brashness to ashes, guts to dust...

zenkit

I'll be damned if I got my hands dirty digging!

Nodrog_CRC

gravestone: "Captain Quirk: Father of:........" Pickhard: "We're going to need a longer gravestone."

Nodrog_CRC

Gravestone: "Captain Quirk: Died as he acted. Flat."

Nodrog_CRC

gravestone: "Captain Quirk - A lover, a fighter, a hero..." Pickhard: "And his own epitat writer"

John Fassbender

gravestone: He is survived by his hairpiece.

Heather Nova

To expand amongst the stars is a Captain's quest... but he expanded in other areas...

Doggy Spew

Now he´s boulderly gone where no one ever gone before.

non compos mentis

will history judge me a murderer, or a saviour?

§Sean§

May the women of the galaxy now sleep soundly...

Atona

Ha! I might be old and bald, but I'm still standing

Atona

First time he's lying alone

Alicat

Alas poor Quirk, I knew him well, a man of infinite girth

Wendee Rae

The hot sun on those rocks and we'll have baked Quirk in no time.

Wendee Rae

A great man deserves a burial fit for a hamster.

Wendee Rae

He wanted to die on the bridge and instead died under it.

DasBrain

Who rocks harder NOW?!?

DasBrain

I should have checked his pockets for loose change.

TeknoDemon

Garvestone: Father of the galaxy

Spindel

I feel as if a great weight has been lifted off my sholders, and umped on the ground, and covered by a bunch of rocks.

grazum

gravestone: "Death, not just for ensigns anymore"

MindMelda

Pinchhard: Of all the souls I ever knew, his was the most..(sob) hammy.

grazum

gravestone: "He died with his girdle on"

ThePenguin Weekly

This is a grave matter indeed.

ThePenguin Weekly

Too bad all the redshirts he killed are waiting for him in the afterlife.

ThePenguin Weekly

The red shirt finally got to him.

bonemar

Now stay out of my movies! I'm the captain!

ThePenguin Weekly

How ironic . . . buried under fossilized tribbles.

ThePenguin Weekly

I finally killed the only thing bigger than his ego . . . his waistline!

Jack Hammerfist

Picard: Guess now it's MY job to protect the galaxy! Gravestone: See you soon!

Death_hammer

This will be his final beam out.

Leander

Gravestone: Beam me up! Pinchard: Make it so!

Shlamko

Gravestone: A girl in every planetoid.

Shlamko

He was like the father I never had... Most likely, he really was.

Matt McLaughlin

Gravestone: Here lies Gym Quirk. He's dead Buns.

Shlamko

Gravestone: (drawings of little women, like those pilots use to mark how many airplanes they shot down)

Shlamko

He came in peace... He's now in pieces.

T'Bonz

Hair today, gone tomorrow!

T'Bonz

You didn't tell me where your little black book was!

T'Bonz

Between a rock and a hard place, eh?

T'Bonz

The rocks of the many outweighed you!

Rob Mey

Get off my bridge indeed!!!

Rob Mey

AND STAY DEAD!!!

Rob Mey

Death... The Final Frontier...

Rob Mey

Maybe I should have taken his hair piece?

jdwiseman

I wonder if I should've checked for a pulse?

Sion Quayle

I knew I should have asked for his autograph before we saved the universe

Sindak

There's no place for two captains, Quirk!

Tom Hyde

Now Sev trek is MINE!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

The Great Wizzard

All stones within 2 square miles and I still can't cover his body completely...

The Great Wizzard

I still wonder how I was able to make a gravestone with my bare hands...

JC

I'm just thankful I didn't have to bury Squatty!

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