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This week's idea was suggested by Gregg Eshelman.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

This week: Uniform colours! This week, I am addressing a pet peeve of mine - Trekkies' persistent use of the term "redshirts" for shows after TOS. Ensign's shirts changed colour after TOS so the term "redshirt" only has meaning in the TOS setting! But I digress - what this cartoon is really about is why they changed colours in the first place

Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by The Great Wizzard. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchlines of the Day.

Admiral Uziel

Red, Gold, what does it matter. Those captains just won't die.


So not as many people would try for command.

Lt. Brad Gentry

I don't know, but I'm about to die in these clothes!

Cmdr. Solomon

Thousands of Ensigns died when the doctors treated their shirts instead of their wounds.

Cpt Thomas

The color became a dead giveaway

Sion Quayle

Quirk demanded it. He claimed gold made him look fat

Plain Simple

To confuse those men in plastic monster suits on other planets.


In an attempt to weed out bad command officers on away missions.


To lull the ensigns into a false sense of security.


Gold always shred. Red always bleed.


Gold makes him look fat, can't you see?

19 of 20

Quirk was distract by ensign in red dresses


The colors may change, but the mortality rate stays the same.


After Quirk ripped so many shirts, we had to switch colours to be cost-effective


The gold shirts ripped too easily


The ensigns threatened to go naked


They were losing too many ensigns, so they decided to make command the easy target.


Judging by the size of mine, I'd say they ran out of fabric.

Rolland Therrien

They ended up with more Commanders then Ensigns. They had to even things out...


You earn more - you risk more !


They were trying to kill Quirk.

Silver Serpent

To teach the Nameless Expendable Ensigns it's the rank, not the color.

Dustin Hoffmann

Red, gold, it doesn't matter. The ensign is still expendible.

Dustin Hoffmann

One's a dead red, the other's a bold gold.

Dustin Hoffmann

The gold clashed with Pickhard's bald head.

Dustin Hoffmann

For the same reason we don't have shimmering sequin sheets anymore!


No one knows. Most things were lost in the 60's.


Red USED to mean 'danger'


No one wanted to be caught in the red


It balanced out. Red atracted enemy fire, but the contracts stoped it from wasting the main characters.

Dustin Hoffmann

I don't know, but death isn't colorblind.


It sure wasn't for political corectness.


The ensigns hope that death will go after the officers.


I couldn't wear less about that!

Captan Kat

Same reason they gave women pants


They concluded yelling guys should wear yellow.


Red blood on red shirt is somehow red undant.


they needed to evenout the ranks


Honey! Red on red just don't work


who cares? I just want to go find some pants

Admiral H

They thought it would kill Quirk. No such luck!


To control the captain population


Too many aliens with different color blood.

Scott McClenny

The Red bled all the time!


Since the ensign shortage of 2312, Sevfleet has promoted its cannon fodder before killing them off.

insanity ink

How else do you kill off the main charicters, then bring them back to life.


So that doctors can find the source of bleeding quicker

Antonio Rebelo

Because they started calling them 'Yellow Bellies'

19 of 20

You weren't able to see the blood.


Saved on laundry expenses.

keith dalton

The ensigns got tired of dying.

So nine times out of ten, the captains wouldn't be killed.


The women probably got tired of the updraft.


Ensigns were getting suspicious about Red Alert.


And why are the women's uniforms all size Extra small?

Trevor Raggatt

I don't know but I hope it's not an omen


Well, after the “ensign strike” was over they had to give them something.


Only Command is stupid enough to wear a red shirt...


Ensign goldshirt doesn't have the same ring to it.


Ensigns were becoming an endangered species

valerie p

to confuse Sevilian gag writers

Jack Hammerfist

They finally discovered that red draws attention!

Jack Hammerfist

Picard went from ensign to commander!

Jack Hammerfist

It was right about the time Picard got promoted!

Jack Hammerfist

At least the officers DESERVE it!

Jack Hammerfist

They finally hacked the concept of "camouflage!"

Jack Hammerfist

I already feel like a walking target!

Jack Hammerfist

Just shoot me!

Jack Hammerfist

It was either that or hazard pay!


And even though I'm wearing a red shirt I'm sure I'll be around for quite awhile!

Keith Gilligan

We were trying to see if we could have expendable Captains!

Mike Howell

Red has historically been the color of bulls' eyes.

capt nilsen

because command felt if they ever got shot then it would hide the blood better


There was a surplus of gold, and Quirk looks better in red.

Dwight Thompson

Because everyone knows the red shirt's are expendable!!

Will Maiden

obligitary uniform change


They ran out of Ensigns.

Wendee Rae

The endangered species act was amended to include redshirts.

Wendee Rae

I don't know, but this better not be a hint!


Having their shirts red all the time was making the ensigns paranoid.


They wanted to prove that the reason why so many ensigns got killed wasn't the color of their shirts but their stupidity.

Brian K.

Quirk decided red was more "slimming"

Qui Gon Vin

A vain attempt to make ensigns live longer!

Trevor Raggatt

One of many attempts to get rid of Captain Quirk

Trevor Raggatt

The combined glare of a gold shirt and the captain's head confused the sensors

Doggy Spew

Bloodstains don't show up.


You don't see a Yeomans' lipstick on a red collar!


Red made the prospects of being an ensign too obvious!

Willem-Jan van Strien

With those away team bloodbaths no one could tell the difference between blood and fabric

Borg 9 of 9 235

The Redshirts unionized


Well, the last uniform designer had a son who was an ensign...

Joona Palaste

To see if it was the rank or the colour that got you killed.


Red shirts draw fire


Quirk lost too many girlfriends that way.


Who cares?! All I know is, I look hot in red!!

Durg, son of Vircheel

Who knows? They change the uniforms every other week!

Mike Howell

Quirk liked his female ensigns in slinky red dresses


Ensigns were put on the endangered list!

Captain Kat

You should see what the women wore.


SevFleet finally realized their mistake that red was the color for war and yellow was the color for wussies.

Kalahari Karl

They needed to make sure the ensign had a VISIBLE wound...


Dux: Well, Duh! Look how slimming it is!


Hard to tell when the Ensign was dead.


Never mind that... Where the heck are my pants?


Ever hear about the Red Shirt Revolt?

ThePenguin Weekly

They didn't. The ensigns that survived Quirk's time became captains.

Michael Kraft

Too many redshirts, not enough ensigns.

Bill Harris

Ensign's can't be stupid forever.


it all has to do with bloodstains

ScottE Bemeup

In red they can't see you bleed.

Qui-Gone Gingle

The officers where the only ones left

The Great Wizzard

New series, new merchandise.


So it would be easier to tell when someone had been shot

The Great Wizzard

The gold ones rip very fast. It saves the doctors time for the autopsy.


That's not your problem! I'm wearing red today!

The Great Wizzard

They created the new uniforms from Quirks torn shirts.

John Fassbender

The ensigns were starting to catch on.


Quirk's idea. The ensigns were getting too much sympathy from the hot babes.

The Great Wizzard

He doesn't know. He just wanted to ramble about the "Good Ole Times"

Why is he Ted Rebo? Submit punchlines here.

Just whine, whine, whine, blue boy. You're not the one in the red shirt!


Down with redshirts. Up with red dresses!


because it was difficult to determine whether the ensign was bleeding to death.

Psycho Nerd

all the Redshirts of quirk's time demanded the change, hoping Quirk would get shot for once


Yellow tears to easily

The Great Wizzard

Like many things, it's original meaning has been lost. For example, in those times baldness was considered a sign of weakness.

The Great Wizzard

The ensigns thought it was their uniform colour. SevFleet proved it was their rank.


The ensigns figured the red must be attracting all the enemy fire.

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