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This week's idea was suggested by 5618.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

This week: Choking Kneelicks! This week's strip looks at the hollowdeck program Twoblocks wrote where he gets to relax by choking Kneelicks. Methinks many crew members would be using this program.

Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by EvilDevil. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchlines of the Day.


Twoblocks: Didn't you tell me to have some fun?

Gravitational Electromagnetic Neutrino



Twoblocks: Because Chocolatay talked you out of doing the job yourself.


I told you I hate green eggs and ham


I have indexed the reasons in alphabetical format or chronological format which would you prefer?

Captain Big Mouth

Twoblocks: Mr. Parasite instructed me earlier today to 'get a grip'. Now seemed like a good time.

Zeve Bellringer of Red Dwarf

You've heard of "Gone Farr"? This is "Gone Mad".

Bill Harris

After six years of Leeola root... DO I NEED A REASON?!?


I'm tryimg to mind-meld, but you haven't got one.


I'm Velcron, I don't need a morale officer.


I'll teach you to provoke an emotional response in a Velcron!

Zeve Bellringer of Red Dwarf

I find your use of Leola Root...illogical and disturbing.


Twoblocks: Logic dictates that the end justifies the means.


Twoblocks: Listen you little Bolian sewage rat, just because we don't have feelings doesn't mean we don't have tastebuds!

Doug Wilson

Twoblocks: It is illogical for you to have more screentime

J. B. Arvin

I'm just perfecting my nerve pinch. Hold still.


Your contract states that you are supposed to die once every season - I'm just making up for lost time.


Just be glad it's not Pong Farr time!

Dr Satan

This is what my throat felt like after eating your curry!


Your continued existence is simply illogical.

Hanover Fisk

Practice makes perfect!

P Swayne

Clowns are illogical, and must be destroyed!

Ensign KillMe!

I'm the only one allowed to have pointy ears on this crew!

Captain Randolph

This is the new vulcan death-grip ... er ... mind meld.

Bill Harris

You put tobasco sauce in my plomeek soup!


More spots than Measly Crusher... and even worse!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Twoblocks: PC (Pesky Character) directive!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Twoblocks: There was a macrocosm in my soup!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Twoblocks: My hands to your neck......your neck to my hands...!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Twoblocks: 7 years....I can't take any more!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Twoblocks: The captain did say "full throttle ahead"!


Oh, your the real Kneelicks, aren't you?


Talking will only make me squeeze harder.


Just shut up and die, for Spook's sake.


It's called "therapy".


WHat are you talking about? THis is a Velcron neck massage.


It was illogical to delay for this long


Still speaking? I must cut off more air.


This is the one emotion I don't mind exploring.

William Morris

So much for the velcron "grip 'o' death," I'm going for a good old fashioned "earth style" throttling.


The crew held a lottery...and I won!


I told you NOT to name the meatloaf after me!


You should be pleased! You've finally succeeded in bringing out my emotions!

Joey Lopez

You are illogical, I must fix you

The Duke

Twoblocks: Have you ever tasted your dinner?!

Cmdr. Solomon

Because you are an annoying little troll.


I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you...


I assure you, it's not personal.


Why not?


Seven years and I have yet to think of why not.


It is not logical . . . but I don't care anymore!


I think it is self explanatory...

James Maloney

You are the embodient of illogic!

just me

Are you kidding there's a 75 year waiting list for this program

Mr. Memo

Logic suggests you serve something OTHER than Leeola Root.

Mr. Memo

It is only logical to prohibit the future torture of others.

Keith Gilligan

I finally figure out how to turn off the safety protocols!


Pure logical. You are the morale officer. With out your cooking crew morale will rise 47%.

Captain Big Mouth

Twoblocks: Sabotaging the Scuttlecraft didn't work, so lets cut to the chase!


The lives of the many outweigh the lives of the one's cooking!

sweet young thing

Comic Relief, you are supposed to be comic relief. Is that so hard.


Seven years of recycled goo would turn anyone!


I'm just demonstrating the effect of your food

Jack Hammerfist

Kneelicks: But I'm the MORALE officer! Twoblocks: Good job, mine's improving already!

Jack Hammerfist

Twoblocks: Even Velcrons have our limits!

Jack Hammerfist

Twoblocks: With you, EVERY time is "amok time!"

Jack Hammerfist

Twoblocks: NOBODY makes me show emotion and lives!

Fred Shedian

It's the most logical response to fan mail.

Jack Hammerfist

Kneelicks: That's not the Heimlich maneuver! Twoblocks: It still works for a choking victim!

Jack Hammerfist

Kneelicks: I can't breathe! Twoblocks: Now you're getting it!

Ted Rebo (Ted Reo for short)

I am "Living the American Dream"!


Your ugly, dangit!!!


*mimic* Why Mr. Velcron, Why? You're illogicalness makes me sick!And your cookings horrible!


It's either this, or a mind meld!


I'm making sure Tuvix never happens again!


I've had enough of our character building episodes!


You're causing more moral problems than you cure!


Kneelicks: But I have cooked and cleaned for you, humored you! - Twoblocks: That is precisely why.


I've decided to grant the crew's Christmas wish a little early this year...


Kneelicks: I was just joking! Twoblocks: I am just choking!


I'm sorry. I thought you were one of those "Stress relievers". I wanted to see your eyes pop out.

Megan Dax

You have been illogical for the last time

Pedro Freitas

There is a logic use for violence!


Because the crew thought feeding you your own cooking would be too cruel


Think of it as a Velcron Full-Neck Pinch

Johnathan McClure

Here's Two Licks for ya!

admirably lost

to ensure the crew gets one decent meal out of you i intend to cook you


Does "Leola Root Day" ring a bell?


..Because I have been taught to feel no emotion for inanimate objects!


You annoy the crew, and we fall back. You cook something that's not quite food, and we fall back. The line must be drawn here!

Jeremy Delaney

It's an ancient Velcron Technique. My Hands To Your Neck!

ThePenguin Weekly

Ten out of Ten made a mistake reviving you. I am attempting to fix it.

ThePenguin Weekly

No one spikes my Vulcan Tea!

Green Leader

The audience was changing channels.

ThePenguin Weekly

I'm sick of scanning anomolies, investigating anomolies, and analyzing anomolies! It's time to choke an anomoly!

ThePenguin Weekly

Just tell me where the toilets on this ship are!!!

T'Rowa (With apologies to all who are groaning at the reference to that silly TV show)

The tribe has spoken. You're not a survivor!

ThePenguin Weekly

Janeway told me I would get extra replicator rations.

ThePenguin Weekly

K: There are four blocks! T: No! There are two blocks!


Oh...Sorry, I thought I WAS on the hollowdeck.


I'm trying to mind meld with you.

Frogboy Lives

Trust me it's for the best.


You DID wand me to smile....

Frogboy Lives

Does there have to be a reason?

Wendee Rae

Kneelicks: Gack!...I knew that I...Gasp!...Could get you to show...Choke!...Emotions!

Wendee Rae

Twoblocks: I should choke you by making you eat your own food.


Making me smile is an act of terrorism against the Velcron government!


Even Velcrons have a tolerance limit!


Logically speaking, someone should have done this years ago!


Our friendship is illogical; I am merely rectifying the situation.


Cuss called; she wants her lung back.


Like the "gone far" I regularly experience the "gone mad" - about every 7 minutes


do the words "c'mon mr velcron, SMILE!!!" remind you of anything


the directors said this would greatly increase our ratings


you wanted to see me smile, when i'm done with you i'll smile

Scott McClenny

Leeola Root Surprise! Leeola Root Casserole! Leeola Root Shiskebab! Leeola Root Sundaes! Leeola Root Pudding...Need I go on?


Your cooking gave the entire brige crew gas!!!!!

Matt Wise

Meditation can only take you so far!

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