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This week's idea was suggested by Robert Underwood.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

This week: Piker the cardshark! This week's strip explains how Piker is able to beat an empath and an android in poker. It was inspired by Sev Trek #184 and it's interesting to compare the difference in how both strips were drawn (I personally prefer this week's cartoon).

Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by Jack Hammerfist. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchlines of the Day.

Jack Hammerfist

Correction, a LOUSY android and mind reader!

Jack Hammerfist

A fizzer beats four aces!


Computer, replicate some more chips and transplode them into my pockets


There's a site-to-site transploder in my beard

Avenger CO

My logic is so fuzzy that it took over my chin.

Jack Hammerfist

There's more than one deck on this ship!

Jack Hammerfist

They both have a screw loose!


This is, after all, science fiction.


Three aces to beam down


Even I don't know what I'm thinking

Bill Harris

We keep using my marked, er, lucky deck.


You will lose, that's an order Mr. Barf.


It's all done with mirrors


Computer, delete Barf's character.

William Morris

I use the ripples in your head to help me count the cards

Cordavin Lon

Charm, talent, charisma, a mental static generator and Beta's off switch.

William Springer

Who do you think wrote Data's dealer subroutine?

William Springer

Simple. I don't look at my cards.


You got to know when to hold em, when to fold up, and when to hide em in your beard.


If Beta learned to bluff, and Tryhard to be useful, you wouldn't have to ask that question.


If I don't win they're fired


A commander always beats a pair of lt-commanders.

Peter Lin

The writers are racist, sexist, and have no respect for andriods.


I'm the mind reader's boyfriend, and I know where the android's off button is


Why do you keep loosing against a weak bearded human?


I didn't grow the beard for nothing

Wendee Rae

She can read my thoughts and I got her to date me, didn't I?


I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you where you stand ... I mean sit.

Jack Hammerfist

Strategically downwind of a Klingoff...


Cuz I directed all the poker episodes


A bland personality and a straight face goes a long way!


I'm unpredictable and dense as a Ferengi.


I survived being an ensign, I've got a few tricks up my sleeves


I think one thing, say another and do a third.


Hey! Do I ask about your forehead?




What's more important a question is who's running the ship?!


Spook combined their abilities and even lost in 3D-chess. So what!


Doyouwanna: All I can sense is insufferable smugness! Piker: My incredible skill overwhelms them.

Captain Kat

I still have cue power.


Quiet, Barf! They haven't realized that they can beat me yet!


My beard doubles as a card replicator

Jim Fabian

I eat a lot of chips at home, so I'm always sitting on a winner.


Trade secret. I'll tell you when you get the old 3 pips on your collar.


I come, I cheat, I conquer!

Jack Hammerfist

Who do you think programmed this game?

Jack Hammerfist

Computer, royal flush!

Jack Hammerfist

I do what I least expect!


Beta- I removed his logic circuit. Her-I just make googoo eyes at. You- I taught bridge.

One, she's an empath, NOT a mind reader. Two, Beta is gullible. Three, you're just stupid.


The same way I beat you, lobster brains..


... and don't forget someone with a butt on his forehead.


I Threaten them that I will play my trombone during the next session.


with my charm! pshhh!

Nicholas Roche

Dumb luck! Plus, you can't read a mind that's not there...

Captain Big Mouth

Just wait till we get to the 'Pokemon' cards!


It's elementary my dear Tryhard


I can hide everything but the kitchen sink in this beard...don't you think I can hide an ace or two?

Ann E. Nichols

Rank hath its privileges


Easy: There's nothing for a telepath to read, I just have 'Dumb' Luck

The Trivial Psychic

I'm the director... I ALWAYS win.


it's easy i have a card replicator up my sleve


I'm distracting them BOTH by playing footies....


These are actually Beta's chips that I took out... and Tryhard thinks that losing is bad for my ego.


I kept one Cue-Power: cheating probability.


Beta runs windows 98. He's not exactly hard to beat


Tryhard overlooked one thing: There has to be something to read


i don't, with a teenager driving this thing all the chips just keep sliding over


We have a blind guy flying the ship and this is what worries you?

Dial "M" for Maul

Who knows. All right, who can beat 5 aces?

Dial "M" for Maul

The ace up my sleeve is for good luck...


She's dumb, he's numb and I can bluff.


It's the beard, no one can get through the follicular interference.

Hessel Tersteeg

I'm your superior officer, I COMMAND you to lose!!!


It's simple! I have no idea what I'm doing!


I just keep reminding them that I'm the one that chooses who goes on the away teams, and what colour shirts they wear


I just have the best Piker face!

Yankee Kiwi

My beard is better than a sleeve for hiding cards

Avenger CO

She KNOWS I have only one thing on my mind and he can't figure out what it is.


it's easy when playing go fish!


I hide a full spare deck of cards in my beard.


Talk about Trashy Yard! Enrages one, inflames the other!

Tom Pfeiffer

I eat a lot of chillie. I can break anyone's concentration!


I brought a remote, and drank a bottle of Scotch before I got here!

Matt McLaughlin

Advantages of directing.


Shut up and gimme your chips already.


I have a quantum singularity under the table.


Excuse me? I couldn't hear you over my pile of winnings.


Beta doesn't know how to bluff and let's just say Tryhard wouldn't go near my mind.


cruncher diagnosed me as having terminal poker face


Do you think Pickhard's not here because he's too busy?


There's a hole in the plot... where I hide all the aces.


How do YOU keep losing to a human?


Computer, activate program "Ace in Sleeve"


Let's just call me... Willing Poker.


The beard. Makes an excellent Poker face.


She's useless and he's got a problem with his humor chip.


romance one, short-circuit the other!


A kiss here, a subroutine there!


I make the duty assignments; Last time I lost, Beta was peeling potatoes for a month


WILL power!!!


You got to know when to hold em and when to fold em

Shawn McNiel

I call it the Piker manoeuvre.

Daniel N.

Easy, I'm chaotic and psychotic.


I reprogrammed Beta's dealing routines.


Three words: upcoming crew evaluations

Jack Hammerfist

They always announce the obvious- like their cards!

Jack Hammerfist

Don't forget, they're BOTH compulsive blabbermouths!

Jack Hammerfist

I may not sense or calculate, but I don't announce it either!

Jack Hammerfist

They never shut up about what's right in front of them!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Stop stalling Barf and show your hand!


Let's just say, I control the self destruct mechanism and don't like to lose.

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Oh alright - Computer end cheat mode!

Jack Hammerfist

Neither one ever shuts up!

Jack Hammerfist

I DO handle promotions on this ship...

Jack Hammerfist

ENSIGNS ask questions like that...

Jack Hammerfist

Let's just say I can DEAL with it!

Jack Hammerfist

Can you say "latrine duty?"

Jack Hammerfist

These holographic cards work wonders!

Jack Hammerfist

Great bluffing, my poker face, and ... see that mirror?

Jack Hammerfist

Neither one has a full deck!


Well, I unplugged Data, and I don't have many thoughts to be read...


Every bearded man has something to hide.


Well, I haven't got a brain, so Doyawanna can't read me, and my chair is actually a giant magnet designed to disrupt Betas network

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Poker Piker pipped a pack of Picard's plonkers!!


There's an old Sev Fleet saying about this: He who has the pips, gets the chips.

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

I call red alert at vital points in the game!

The Great Wizzard

I can hide up to 47 aces in my beard.

ScottE Bemeup

She's ticklish, and I know where his off switch is.

ScottE Bemeup

It's not what you know, it's who you know it about that counts.


Well, Tryhard has too many feelings for me to read me straight, and Beta knows I can demote him to a toycorder.


Smug beats a royal flush

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

I keep my mind blank and play illogically!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

I'm No.1, remember?!

Trevor Raggatt

Stud poker by name. Stud Piker by nature

Trevor Raggatt

Being ranking officer has some advantages, Barf

Trevor Raggatt

Madame Useless and an overgrown pocket calculator? Be serious!

Trevor Raggatt

I just keep beaming aces into my hand


I think dirty thoughts and i reprogrammed Beta to lose


My beard contains many secrets mister Barf

Matthew D. Wilson, aka Powers

Gaudy's in the next room looking at all your cards.


I don't have a mind to read and I know where Beta's off switch is.

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