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This week's idea was suggested by JTKirk
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

This week: Q-Tip gladiators! We kick off our Olympics themed fortnight with the famous gladiator scene between Captain Quirk and Spook under the influence of the 7 year Velcron affliction, Pong Far!


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by Iris. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions as well as the finalist punchlines.


goreon

Quirk to himself: How do I get my shirt off in an ear cleaning contest.

Mate

Quirk: If you strike me down I shall become more attractive to the opposite sex than you can ever imagine!

ecgric

Quirk: Now I'm sure to get her. ...and Spook: Damn, why did I have to cut the shirt?

Felix Trench

Quirk: Mine's got more wax on than yours, I win!

§Sean§

Quirk: Frankly, I'd quit fighting me and watch out for McCoudoroy, he's been ogling your girlfriend for the last 2 scenes

TKar

Quirk: Tribble rug, rip away shirt, tight girdle, Woman present. I'm in heaven.

Wookie-Me

Quirk: I don't think my chest hair is showing enough. Slice me again.

Spockman#77

Quirk: Hurry Spook! The commercials will come on soon and my shirt isn't even off yet!

Jaylolo

Quirk:I'm going to swab the deck with you. Spook: My, that's an awfully cute quip.. Quirk

Kira Mae

Spook: I fight not only for her, but for the honor of poorly made shirts everywhere!!

Captain Jim

Quirk: These are the biggest Q-Tips I've ever seen! Spook: What do you expect with ears like mine?

T'pek

Quirk: This... is... the... only... way.... we... can... decide.... who... will... get... the.... next... line! Spoock: YOU DID IT AGAIN! you stolen my line!

T'pek

Spoock: I am in pon-farr...why are you fighting? Quirk: I am *always* in pon-farr!

T'pek

Quirk: Do you know what will happen if you kill me? Spoock: Yes, better ratings.

Ravenid

Spook: How did you rip your shirt, we havent started yet?

Ryyn

Spook: Why do you insist upon ripping your shirt in EVERY battle!? Quirk: Every captain needs a trademark...this is mine!

Bill Harris

Quirk: A little help here, Buns? Mc: I'm a doctor, not a referee!

Griffin

Quirk: I was going to... rip my own shirt but... thanks for the help.

Leander

T'Pring: Don't forget to clean up afterwards, dear.

Save Ferris

Quirk: Next time I choose the weapons - giant tongue depressors

Save Ferris

Quirk: To help you, I'll act as if you're beating me Spook: Forget it - I've seen your acting skills

5618

Quirk: Sticks and stones may brake my bones but you can never mess my hair!

Robza

Quirk: Well, well, well! For once I don't have to rip my own shirt!

Shlamko

Quirk: Does EVERYTHING with you velcrones involves ears?

Wookie-Me

Quirk: Keep going, Spook! My shirt's almost off and she'll be MINE!

P Swayne

Quirk: Would you mind wiping that ketchup off my chest with your Q-tip?

Darth Bean

Spook: Though I am not feeling actual agression, sir, I do have a sudden urge to shred your wig.

Brian

Quirk: Your emotions go wild from Pong Far. Spook: No, I've ALWAYS wanted to kill you!

Brian

Quirk: See what happens when you go seven years between dates?

Brian

McCorurouy: Too bad I'm a doctor, not a gambler!

Brian

Quirk: Thanks, Spook. She'll really go for the ripped shirt!

Brian

T'Pring: Let them kill each other. It is most logical to marry a doctor!

EvilDevil

Quirk: must...charm...hot...babe... and/or Spook: must...kill...captain...

Mav

Quirk: Shirt ripped, Alien babe, fight scene music. You can't win, Spook.

Robza

Quirk: Bad move Spook! Everyone knows the alien babes can't resist the ripped shirt!

Cassandra

Quirk: Did your mother have this fight with you every time she wanted to clean your ears?

Ensign Balok

Spook: Captain, this time its my plot for a relationship!

meggy eel

McCorduroy: I don't care which q-tip you use, just fix this infected eye!

meggy eel

T'Pring: To think, all this over the last jar of hair gel.

meggy eel

Quirk: Take that back, big ears!!

meggy eel

Quirk: And one, two, three, and lift, and twirl...

Fox Cutter

Spook: Wait till I hit you before ripping your shirt open!

Fox Cutter

Spook: Fascinating, even cotton can rip your shirt.

8 of 12

Quirk: Since it's already ripped... Spook: Don't even! Not even as a joke!

Lt. Brad Gentry

Quirk: Now that I've ripped my low-budget paper-thin shirt, I'm ready to take your fiancé.

meggy eel

Spook: Here, let me clean up that nasty cut of yours!!!

Ryyn

Spook: Can't you go one episode without ripping the shirt? Quirk: Of course not, chicks dig the ripped shirt!

Larrygirl

Quirk: Well Spook, if you wanted the girl, you could have just asked.

Mark Bergshoeff

Quirk: I only asked for a Q-tip! Spook: how dare you insult the size of our ears!

Ellis

Quirk: You gotta love Pong Farr. Spook: Wait'll you see what these things are REALLY for....

Greg S.

Quirk: Hey that T'Schwing is pretty hot! Spook: Must - jam - this - in - his - ear!

rojohen

Kirk: Spook, I think you swabbed a little too hard

Lt. Cmdr. Matthew Platts

McCoy: Medical emergency! Kirk's stomach has finally exploded!

Inmournin

Quirk: So, does that mean we've started?

Lt. Cmdr. Matthew Platts

McCoy: How come Vulcan looks exactly like every other planet?

Lt. Cmdr. Matthew Platts

McCoy: Have you ever seen so many Sev symbols in one bad set?

Lt. Cmdr. Matthew Platts

Kirk: Kirk to Enterprise - more shirts please.

Lt. Cmdr. Matthew Platts

Kirk: Do you think I'm impressing T'Pau in this ripped shirt?

Lt. Cmdr. Matthew Platts

Spock: I am your friend, Jim, but I'm afraid I must clean your ears!

Bishop

Quirk: Ripped shirt, check! Twisted plot involving over dramatics, check! erotic babe, check!

Doug2k

dammit spock he's a lover not a fighter

Mistress Spamlord

Quirk: Not feeling too logical now, eh Spook

Bill Harris

Spook: That's for those stupid Priceline commercials!

Ali

Quirk: he, he, You'll never knock the tribble off

Pat B

Spook: I see you managed to rip your shirt Quirk: ever known a fight scene when I didn't.

Jon Stone

"Why do these things look like giant Q-Tips?" "Have you seen our ears?"

Robert Saturn

Quirk: and/or Spook:Quirk: They're playing the Trek fighting music (tm)! That means an alien's gonna get his butt kicked!

Miko

Spook: I must warn you Gym, I was a champion on Velcron Gladiators!

David Kehler

Quirk: I guess those ears of yours get a lot of earwax, eh Spook? Spook: Grrrrrrr!

Leon van Steensel

Quirk: Go easy on me. That's an order.

justin

Kirk: I'm going to clean those ears ! Spock: Don't come near me with that Q-tip !

Doug Wilson

Spook: I must kill you Captain. Quirk: Jealous cause she wants me, heh, Spook?

Doug Wilson

Spook: I believe the Doctor feels left out. Quirk: Why don't you kill him instead then?

Doug Wilson

Spook: I am Spartacus! Quirk: No, Spook, I am Spartacus!

Corsair

Quirk: But Spook! It's in my contract!

Corsair

Spook: You're not going to chew the scenery this time!

Corsair

Quirk: Aw, c'mon Spook... Spook: I get one every seven years...and we're only on 3 seasons!

Shane Kirby

Quirk:C'mon Spook just let me clean your ears! and/or Spook:That is an unlikely possibility, unless I can clean yours first

Tom Hyde

Spook: By Surak, this episode I get the girl.

CITYzenX

Quirk: Spook....you....managed to rip myshirtopen.. but you.. keep.. missing.. the.. target.

ScottE Bemeup

Quirk: Another day, another ripped shirt.

dergl

Quirk: I never lost a fight for an alien babe. Spook: There is always a first time

Harley Cat

Spook: I get one woman in seven years and you try to steal her, don't you ever get enough

Harley Cat

Spook: I get one woman in seven years and I'm not giving her up

ScottE Bemeup

Quirk: Thanks. Chicks dig scars.

ScottE Bemeup

Quirk: Listen up, mister. Now you've Ponged too Far.

Nodrog_CRC

T'Pring: "Why are they fighting?" McCorduroy: "What fighting? They're trying to get Quirk's girdle on."

Nodrog

Quirk: "I though Velcrons were dedicated to non-violence." Spook: "We are. Does this seriously look like a deadly weapon?"

Nodrog

Spook: "If you were any other man, I would swab your ears where you stand."

Nodrog

Quirk: "Hey, Mr. Tambourine man..." Spook: "No singing!"

Nodrog

Quirk: "The good of my ego outweighs the good of the you, or the one." Spook: "Your ego outweighs the whole planet!"

Nodrog

Quirk: "What's the logic in fighting with two trubbles glued to a stick?" Sppok: "What's the logic of fighting with a trubble glued to your head?"

Nodrog

Quirk: "Trust me, Spook, weight lifting always impresses the chicks." Spook: "Not when the weights are cotton balls, captain."

Trilliena

Quirk: Bet mine's waxier !

Mate

Quirk: I..should..warn..you..I'm..we'll..learned..in the..art of..ear..cleaning!

Mark

Spook: I must kill for sex! Quirk: Now, you're talking like a captain!

Mark

Quirk: Wouldn't you rather play a nice game of chess?

Mark

Quirk: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful! Spook: Die, you pot-bellied pig!

jdwiseman

Quirk: You won't kill me...I bet you might even catch me if I fell of a cliff.

jdwiseman

Quirk: There's nothing like a good sport. Spook: And you're nothing like a good sport.

jdwiseman

Quirk: Is the air hard to breath on this planet or is it just your fiance?

jdwiseman

Quirk: I know I should be worried for my life, but that babe is HOT! Spook: Apparently my last aim was too high.

Tonying16 @aol.com

Quirk: Even with those Vulcan ears, these Q-tips seem oversized.

Glorendil

Spook: I think I'll arrange for you an intimate meeting... with the left side of my pole!

Glorendil

Spook: Keep on smiling, captain... I need it to maintain my berserk rage.

Glorendil

Quirk: If I win, would you arrange something for me with that babe?

Spockman#77

Quirk:Soooo!This is how you Velcrons keep your ears so clean!

Spockman#77

Quirk:OK Spook,My ears are clean, now it's your turn!

Death_hammer

Spook: Logic says that the bigger their ego, the harder they fall. Everyone prepare for an earthquake!

derek

Quirk: Stop trying to clean my bellybutton and/or Spook:Well GYM i only want to put your belly button onto your spine!!

Death_hammer

Quirk: Why are you doing this Spook? and Spook: Well if I kill you I become the captain and get a girlfiend! Need I say more?

Death_hammer

Quirk: Spook...prepare...to...get and Spook: Could you finish faster so I can finish you off?

Death_hammer

Quirk: God, stand-by to beam 1 up.

Death_hammer

Quirk: I can't belive you actually hit my chest! and Spook: I know, I was aiming for your head!

Death_hammer

Quirk: No one but me can rip my shirt and get away with it! and Spook: And what are you going to do, become the director?

Death_hammer

Quirk: You actually hit me! Spook: Thats for all the becomeing human comments!

Death_hammer

Spook: Prepare to die and have extremly clean ears.

Larrygirl

Quirk: You know Spook, the giant Q-tips and the 'big ear' comment was meant as a joke! This is going way too far!

Larrygirl

Quirk: Spook! First you rip my shirt, then you poke the doc in the eye! What's come over you?

Emily

Quirk: It's no use! I ALWAYS get the girl.

KSheff

McCorduroy: The tribble on his head! Kill the tribble on his head!!!

Lois

McCorduroy: Don't put those things in your ears. Quirk: They would get stuck in those Vulcan ears. Spook: Vulcans can't be insulted.

T'Rowa

T'Pring: Maybe I should have settled for Spook. At least his hair is real.

T'Rowa

T'Pring: Maybe I should have thought this out more...on the off chance that Quirk actually wins, he'll probably force me to date him.

Tyrrogan

McCoy: Figures - Vulcans fighting with huge ear cleaners.

Tyrrogan

McCoy: Where is the logic in fighting with huge cotton buds?

Captain Treklin

McCorduroy: Dammit Gym, you're a Captain! Not a Gladiator!

dannys

McCorduroy thought bubble : hmmm, who to barrack for

Ann E. Nichols

McCorduroy: Come on, Spook -- take out that wig! Spook: An excellent suggestion, Doctor. Quirk: Ha! You wouldn't dare!

Ann E. Nichols

McCorduroy [thinking]: Hope my secret camera is working -- I could razz Spook for this for YEARS!

Ann E. Nichols

Quirk: My chest is showing, so this episode is bound to become a fan favorite! Spook: Terran fool! The fans will love it for ME!

OptimalOp

Quirk: Is it me, or is it breezy out here?

Ann E. Nichols

McCorduroy: Sheesh! The Starfleet medical association was right -- Q-tips ARE dangerous!

Ann E. Nichols

Quirk: Nyeah, Nyeah! Spook: With my protective logic ripped from me, I realize how unbearable you are -- DIE!

OptimalOp

Quirk: I'm... too sexy... for this blood...

Ann E. Nichols

Quirk: The ladies will thank you for ripping my shirt. Spook: Their gratitude would have been greater had I severed your vocal cords.

OptimalOp

Quirk: Explain the logic of a Q-Tip cutting me, Spook!

Graeme Lyon

Quirk: You're supposed to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance

Cybermoose

Spook: I'm going to kill you Quirk: Well, sort of

CuBones McCoy

Quirk: This ain't fair!! I always get the girl!!

m

Quirk: who's idea was it to enter for the synchronised ear waxing competition? and Spook:ear waxing? I thought it was a ferengi mating ritual

T'Bonz

Quirk: My red blood fascinates T'Pring! Spook: It's not easy being green!

Anne Melendez

Quirk: Beware my Q-Tip of Death! Spook: McCorduroy has given me the edge by secretly coating my weapon with iodine monkey boy!

Bill Harris

Quirk: Thanks, Spook! I didn't think I was going to get my ripped shirt quota for this episode.

Mark

Quirk: Fighting for a woman. Isn't that illogical? Spook: Harmones aren't logical!

Kalahari Karl

Quirk: Hey, Moans, we can even use these things to clean up afterwards!

MindMelda

Quirk: I say we stop this and whack the guy playing that weird fight music!

T'Bonz

Quirk: Row row row your boat! Spook: I think I'M up the creek WITH a paddle!

ThePenguin Weekly

S: One way or another, that tribble is coming off your head!

ThePenguin Weekly

Q: See if you can wipe this grin off my face. S: I'll wipe more than that!

ThePenguin Weekly

T: Fight like a man! S: But I'm a Vulcun.

Kimpire

Bones: You know those things SHOULD be going in your ears...

ScottE BeMeUp

Quirk: Chicks dig the bare chest. Spook: I'll dig it a grave.

Benter

Quirk: Captain's log... Supplemental... Spook's Gone Farr... has led to... the destruction... of another one... of my shirts. He is... to be... court...marshalled... when we... return to... Sevfleet... HQ.

Benter

T'Pring: You remember what we agreed on earlier? Spook: Go for the toupee, got it.

Benter

Spook: I am unfamiliar with this type of weaponry. Quirk: You can start with wiping this fake blood off of my chest.

Benter

Spook: Hands off, captain. Quirk: What are you gonna do? Clean my ears?

BorgBabe

Spook: C'mon Gym. You have every woman on the ship! Can't you just leave this one for me?

The Great Wizzard

Spook: Why, Gym, why??? Quirk: She's female...

Nails

Spook: How dare you say at my funeral that I was HUMAN!

John Fassbender

Quirk: You can rip my shirt, but DON'T touch the hair.

The Great Wizzard

Buns: Oops! That was the "Shirt-Ripping" hypospray. Oh well...

ThePenguin Weekly

Q: Is that the best you can do? S: Silence, or I will swab thee again!

Nodrog_CRC

Quirk: "Why are we fighting to the death with Q-Tips?" Spook: "Have you seen the size of our ears? To a vulcan, Q-Tips ARE a deadly weapon!"

Nodrog_CRC

Quark: "Fortunately, I majored in Swab-buckling at the academy."

Nodrog_CRC

Quirk: "You've ripped my shirt!" Spook: "I want to make sure T'Pring sees the alternative."

Nodrog_CRC

Quirk: "You've ripped my shirt!" Spook: "The odds of that happening are one to... one."

Nodrog_CRC

T'Pring: "I still can't believe the prenuptial agreement involved this."

Kevin Wilson

Quirk: My what a big Q tip you have. Spook: All the better for removing that waxy build up you call hair.

Nodrog_CRC

T'Pring: "No matter who wins, I lose."

Nodrog_CRC

Spook: "My weapon has no sharp edges. Your ripped shirt is most illogical."

Nodrog_CRC

Quirk: "Oh, come on, Spook, my ears aren't THAT dirty."

Please spay or neuter your Ted Rebos.

Quirk: Hey, who're the babes over there? Spook: Captain, I had no idea Pong Far was contagious.

idiotboy

Quirk: Funny. They don't LOOK sharp.

Monarch Ted Rebo XVI

Quirk: You're mighty handsome for a Velcron. Spook: Captain, I think you do not quite understand the nature of the Pong Far.

Jonnyrot

Quirk: WHY am i fighting for a woman with a cone shaped hair do, oh yeah 'cause she's a woman

§Sean§

Quirk: This has "ponn farr" enough!!! Spook: For that horrble pun I'm going to kill you anyway

Jonnyroth

Spook: ohhhhhhh, i'm gonna give your ears a good swabbin'

Dolphin

Quirk: Everyone knows I get all the women

BitterAndy

Quirk: Look what you've done to my shirt! and/or Spook: Only you could get your shirt torn by a blunt weapon!

BitterAndy

Quirk: So, do ya think Im sexy? and/or Spook: I must kill you for the good of the female crew!

The Great Wizzard

Quirk: Nobody told me that this would be razor-sharp Q-tips!

Jonnyroth

McCorduroy: Watch it Spook, nearly took my eye ot that time!

+PsychoPat+

Quirk: You've gone to far with this GoneFar! Spook:I'll clean out your ears for that insult!

The Great Wizzard

Quirk: Don't forget! If I win, I'm gonna direct a movie! Spook: I won't forget! I'll have to kill you!

Wendee Rae

McCorduroy: I know I told you both to stick it in your ear, but this is rediculous!

Wendee Rae

McCorduroy: Any time someone else gets a girl, Quirk has to fight about it!

JC

Spook: Keep away from my girlfriend! Quirk: Hey, you're the one ripping my shirt!!

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