Hosted by HashSev Wide WebIndexToon ZoneWeb ZoneDTP ZoneSev ShopWhat's New

Click here to publish this Competition on your siteClick here to publish this cartoon in your newsletterClick here to buy this comic strip

This week's idea was suggested by Karen Warp47
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

This week: Captain Quirk's wig! Doctor McCorduroy investigates one of the universe's most enigmatic entities... the wig on Captain Quirk's head

Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by P Swayne. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions as well as the finalist punchlines.


Buns=Gym, you're not fooling anyone with that damn tribble, face it, you're becoming a proper Captain now.

Captain Positron

Kirk: My hair's just very finely spaced. Spock: Half on his head, half on his hairbrush.

Captain Positron

McCoy: Sensors indicate no intelligent life


Spook: I Told you: it'll only expand if you add WATER!


Quirk: If I'm bald, all captains shall be bald.


Quirk: Well? McCoy: I think we should tag it and release it back into the wild.

ThePenguin Weekly

M: It appears to be an advanced lifeform. S: Yes, it beat me in chess three times.

Michael Lewis

Quirk: What's taking you so long? Spook: Captian... it has... cured you... of your... Oh heck, I... have it now.


Buns: It's pregnant, Gym. Quirk: good, more hair!! Spook: I'll send a message to Pickhard.


McCorduroy: It's sucking the acting talent right out of his head! Quirk: It... Is... Not!! Spook: Fascinating.

Pat Taylor

shut that bleeping thing off Bones


McCorduroy: My god Jim, it's multiplying! Quirk: What do you mean? Spook: I find it highly implausible that you are not familiar with that term.


Buns: It's dead Gym. Spook: Fascinating. Gym: Are you spouting catch-phrases, or trying to be smart?


Bones: Unless we can get this creature off your head, there will be hell "tuopee".


Quirk: It's REAL, doctor...but sometimes a bit off center.


Mc:It's like nothing I have ever seen. Quirk: Let it go doctor. Spook: My suggestion exactly, captain.


Mc: It's reflecting all scans!

Scott McClenny

Quirk:Doctor,now that you've reached level 21,how about taking a look at my hair?

Sanel Selimovic

MC: Gym this thing has been feeding on your brain! Spook: I wonder how it survived

P Swayne

McCorduroy: I thought we had beamed all the trubbles over to the Klingoff ship.


Buns: Damn! It *is* fake! - Spook: I believe you owe me ten credits, Doctor.


McCorduroy: The toycorder is detecting alien lifesigns! - - Spook: Fascinating.


McCorduroy: You see - it's not real. Quirk: It is, I know it is. Spook: It is not bio-logical.


McCorduroy: It's dyed, Jim. Quirk: It was never alive. Spook: Today is a great day to dye.

Judy Ann Reed

Damn it Jim! I'm a doctor not a carpet layer!

Robert Aaron

Bones: Blasted thing keeps detecting an alien lifeform on your head. Kirk: It's called a hairpiece doctor Spock: I wondered who had taken my pet tribble.


Mcoyduroy: Jim, that thing is about as real as Spooks ears...


Spook: A Vulcan Hair-meld would look better, Captain.

Chris G

Boney: Damn thing.. Better to use a Klingon to see if it IS a tribble!


McCorduroy: It's from the mirror universe. Quirk: How can you tell? Spook: It's parted on the wrong side.


McCorduroy: I don't understand these readings. Quirk: What do you mean? Spook: According to the tricorder, your hair is pregnant.


McCorduroy: Sit still. Plastic surgery is very tricky. Quirk: What do you mean? You're just cutting my hair. Spook: Exactly.


McCorduroy: Your hair has been assimilated. Quirk: By what? Spook: AstroTurf.


McCorduroy: There's definitely plastic lice in there. Quirk: Then get rid of them. Spook: He's a doctor, not an exterminator.


McCorduroy: It's dead, Jim. Quirk: What's dead ? The tricorder? Spook: No, captain - the small furry animal on your head.


McCorduroy: I'm detecting chronaton particles coming from your hair. Quirk: What does that mean? Spook: It means that your hair is aging at a different rate from the rest of you - no surprises there.


McCoy: Well, it was a close call Gym, but I think we managed to save it's life.


Quirk: Give it up bones. Spook: It's shields are up !

Cordavin Lon

Bones: My GOD man! It's sentient! Kirk: Of course I am! Spock: I believe the doctor was referring to your hairpiece.


Spook: IDIC - Infinite "Do"s and Infinite Colouration.

Kalahari Karl

Spook: Fortunately, the hair of the many outweighs the baldness of the one.

Mark Aaron

McCorduroy: It's dead jim, Quirk: what, are you saying man? Spook: It's highly illfolical captian

Big D

It's dead!!! Captain. It'd better not be. I paid good money for it. This is not logical.

Doug Wilson

McCorduroy: This thing can't penatrate the layers of hair gel... Spook: Fascinating, I was sure it was actullay a tribble. Quirk: Shut up helmet hair.


Captain : For gods sake bones! Put down the nintendo and treat "my" hair!

Radioactive_ Tribble

Dr. mc courderoy: I'm a doctor not a rug cleaner.

Bill Harris

Spook: Doctor, perhaps we could get it off the captain's head if you would cease frightening it with your beads and rattles.


Quirk: How... can I... womanize!... with a... tribble... on... my head?!

Scott McClenny

McCorduroy:There,I told you Spook we could grow a new captain from his leftover toupee!


Dr: We have found the sources of all those trubbles.


McCorduroy: What part of "It's dead Jim." didn't you understand. Quirk: You'd think by the 23rd century they'd have a cure for male pattern baldness. Spook:Or at least a hairpiece that didn't look like reprocessed tribble shavings.


McCourdry: "Grrr!" Quark: "Grrr!" Spook: "Face it, gentlemen. we all have highly implausable hair cuts in this strip. Gritting your teeth over it is illogical."


McCorduroy: Dammit, Jim! According to this, your hair is a rat! Quirk: I knew I shouldn't have trusted Mudd! So much for "100% Authenic Russian"!


Gym:'Buns, can you fix it? ' mcCorduroy: 'Damnit Gym, I am a doctor not a hairdresser.' Spook:'It is illogical to hide ones baldness.'

Diana van der Pluijm

McCorduroy: "These readings are abnormal!" Quirk: "Will it affect my babemagnetiscm?" Spock: "Not when you keep ripping your shirts."

Diana van der Pluijm

McCorduroy: "It's an alien, not a hair piece!"" Quirk: "I comb in peace, but wash to kill... the germs." Spock: "It's hair, captain... but not as we know it."

valerie p

McCorduroy: Ah now I know where that last damn tribble went


McC: I detect a high concentration of polyester. Q: It's hair... S: That's highly illogical, Captain.


Spook: You seem to have a bit of...Trubble, captain.


Quirk: Spook, analysis. Spook: Your hairpiece is creating interference with Buns's catscan.. so that's why I could only read "Rogane" when I tried a mind meld..

Cpt Dunsel

I'm a Doctor, not a fountain of youth! . . .But the green girl turned me down!. . . Fasinating.

Kenyar Jad

McCourderoy: You need more glue on that. Quirk: Why? Spook: Logic states that you need it to look like you have hair!

Johnathan McClure

Quirk: I'm getting balder by the minute, you know!

Johnathan McClure

McCorduroy: This infernal thing can't retouch my perm!

Mike Detterer

Doctor: I can't tell you if it is alive or not! Captain: What do you mean if my wig is alive?!? Mister: Captain we are missing 2 crewmen and your wig was at the scene of the crime!


Buns: Dammit, Gym! I'm reading null matter! Quirk: Are you saying my head is hollow, Buns? Spook: That seems logical.


Spook: Do I hear a purring sound?


McCorduroy: Unbelievable! It's like a proto-universe unfolding on his scalp...Spook: I would like to run my fingers mind meld with it... Quirk: Lads, lads lads...

Electromagnetic Neutrino

McCorudroy: The scalp isn't registering! Spook: This is indeed fascinating... Quirk: Just ask props...

Frogboy Lives

McCorduroy: Are you sure the trubble on the head is a good idea? Quirk: I have to look good for the ambassador. Spook: But the Klingoff ambassador?


Spook-I find wearing a dead animal on your head quite ilogical


Quirk: It's *real*, guys, get over it!!!

Double 'E'

Buns: My god, you're right!!! The hair peice is a chick magnet!!!!


McC; Have you fed it yet? Gym: An hour ago. Spook: It thrives on ego.


Dr. McCorduroy: It's not gonna work!! Spook: I fail to see the point in trying to improve your hair Captain. Captain Quirk: Nicer hair, more girls!

Laura Goodwin

"Jim, your hair has a life of it's own." Q: "Tell me about it! It's not a hair do, it's a hair don't!" S: "I always love that old joke."


McCorduroy: Gym, that THING on your head is still registering lifesigns!!! Quirk: Of course it is Buns, how else do you expect it to look real...


McCorduroy : Damit, Jim, at least, water it once a week


Quirk: Make it look real Buns. McCorduroy: Dammit Gym, I'm a Doctor not a taxidermist! Spook: Indeed.


Spook: It appears we have discovered a new breed of Trubble


McCoy: You were right sir, it's a Trubble. Spook: I knew it!

Mr. Memo

Spook: What does it say, Doctor? Buns: The mass of hair is evolving! Quirk: Just what I need. A sentient toupee.

Wendee Rae

Spook: I do not believe our mission is to seek out new life and wear it.


GYM: Listen BONES, If Spook can have pointed ears,I can have HAIR!!!


McCorduroy: Sorry Jim, I had this thing set on "remove hair"...


QUIRK: Make it quick, I have to meet three women in five minutes!


Quirk : I refuse to let Sev trek show a bald Captain!

Borg 9 of 9 235

Spock: Highly Follilogical


McCorduroy: Spook, hand me another Tribble. Quirk: Think it'll work? Spook: No, but it'll be out of my hair.


McCorduroy: I think I've found Spook's misplaced ChiaPet.


McCorduroy: Gym, I told you to stop pestering that tribble!

Quirk: So Buns, can you make it look real?? McCorduroy: Damn it Gym, I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker!!!!

Stevie D.

McCorduroy: "Dammit Gym, I'm a doctor... not a hair-dresser!" Spook: "Is that a tribble on your head, Captain?"


S: So that's what happened to the trubbles.

Wendee Rae

Quirk: Give it to me straight, Buns. Spook: The prognosis, Doctor? McCorduroy: It appears to be a starving alien Brain Sucker !

The Masked Flint-Steeler

Mc: It'll have to go, Gym. G: Why? S: It defies the laws of physics to have a captain with hair.

Wendee Rae

Quirk: Buns, I need my hair to look real! Spook: I believe Mr. Squat is the miracle worker. McCorduroy: But he can't change the laws of bad toupees!


McCorduroy: I can't get a clear reading! Quirk: What are you doing? Spook: Investigating one of life's greatest mysteries, your wig!

Crude or Lewd Ted Rebos are not considered

McCorduroy: I'm reading an IQ of 180! Quirk: Yes! I'm handsome and a genius! Spook: I attribute both qualities to the trubble latched to your skull.


Spook: It would be logical to scan for synthetic fibres doctor

Harry Hazeel

McCorduroy: We're going to have to amputate...


Quirk: i only went along with it co they said it was shag pile


spook: it was an offcut from when they recarpeted the bridge

Ann E. Nichols

Buns: Your cheap rug is screwing up my readings! GYM: It's staying ON, and that's an order. SPOOK: To endanger your health because of vanity is not logical, sir.


McCorduroy: According to this, the captain's IQ is 147. Spook: The trubble on his head accounts for 47% of that.


Spook: Perhaps you should reset your toycorder to register mid-life crises.

Dr Satan

McCorduroy: "It appears to be a tribble" Spook: That'll explain why klingoffs hate him.


Quirk: If you must know, it's a Trubble!


McCorduroy: What the blue blazes is this made of?

The Great Wizzard

Buns (singing): Nobody knows the Trubbles I see... Quirk: That's not funny, Buns!


Buns: I'm picking up signs of life on his scalp! Spook: A tribble perhaps? Quirk: No, I have a case of headlice.


McCorduroy: The tribble is dead gym! Quirk: ITS NOT A TRIBBLE! Spook: Emotions can be so cumbersome.


Gym: For the last time - I don't have a Tribble on my head!


McCorduroy: Damn it Gym, I'm a doctor, not a wig maker!


Spook: It appears we have discovered an earlier form of the Trubble!


McCorduroy: "I'm sorry, Gym, I just can't make it any more believable!" Quirk: "How does it look, Spook?" Spook: "The need of my continued career onboard outweighs the need for you to hear the truth."


McCorduroy: I'm getting Tribble life signs Quirk: Very Funny Doctor Spook: Actually, he's being serious

8 of 12

McCoy: It appears to be intelligent! Kirk: Me or the hair? Spock: That is what we are trying to determine.

Trevor Raggatt

Mc C: It just keeps saying "Machine wash only".


McCorduroy: "Not even my toycorder believes that's real hair, Gym."

Trevor Raggatt

Quirk: Buns, I want to know who glued this Trubble to my head.

Trevor Raggatt

Mc C: It's only reading nylon. Spook: Fascinating, but logical.

ScottE Bemeup

McCorduroy: It's Dead Gym. Gym: Style it, don't scan it!

Trevor Raggatt

Mc C: Your follicles! They're dead Gym!

Tom Hyde

Quirk: Don't mess with the Do. And that's an order, Mister.

The Great Wizzard

Buns: Ok. The Tribble has passed its physical. Now for you, Gym...


McCorduroy: Dang SevFleet Gadgets! Quirk: I'm telling you Doc, it's real. Spook: Inaccurate, it's a trubble.


McCorduroy: It's trying to communicate ! Quirk: And ? Spook: It's probably bored stiff.


Spook: Fascinating, a hair piece that picks up short wave.


McCorduroy: It's only a "Bad-Hair-Day", Gym!


McCorduroy: Dammed Gym, I'm a doctor, not a hairdresser!

The Great Wizzard

Buns: Squatty didn't beam ALL trubbles off the ship...


McCord: detecting one hair-based life form. Quirk: Will... you... stop.. making... jokes... about... my.... toupee? Spook: Logic, and the rediculousness of your wig, suggest not.

The Great Wizzard

Buns: Dammit, Gym, I'm a Doctor, not a carpet cleaner!

The Great Wizzard

Buns: You won't believe this... Spook: I've seen him without girdle. I believe anything.

The Great Wizzard

Quirk: Why can't we make fun about Spooks green blood for a change? Buns: Tempting...

The Great Wizzard

Buns: Your rug has a higher IQ than you, Captain.

The Great Wizzard

That "Genuine Human Hair" is 100% rodent.


McCorduroy: It's hair, Gym, but not as we know it!

Back Sev Trek: The Comic Strip Next

Sev Wide Web | Index | Toon Zone | Sev Shop | What's New | Contact Us
Sev Trek Comp | Scifi Comp | Pits Comp | Twist Comp | Sunday Comp
Sev Trek | Sev Files | Sevgate | Fraud of the Rings | Bluffy | Sev Wars | Sevylon 5 | Pits | Twist | Sevloid Chronicles
Sev Trek Movie | Sev Wars 3D Trailer | The Vault | Discussion Board | Ideas Board | Sevilian Board | Privacy Policys

The Sev Wide Web and all content within are © Copyright 2000 by John Cook.
None of my material can be used on any other site without prior permission from the author.
However, feel free to link to my site from yours.