|Sev Trek: The Comic Strip|
Fat Squatty! Over the movies, Engineer Squatty seemed to get fatter and fatter - it's a good thing they were all shown on the big screen!
|These comics are created from the winning entries of
Sev Trek Movie Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by Calicia. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.|
Sulu, lock onto 90% of the fat in Squatty's stomach and beam it into the warp core. We'll use it for fuel.
Squatty, I know they say the camera adds ten pounds, but exactly HOW MANY CAMERAS ARE ON YOU NOW?
At this rate, Squatty's gonna need a Dyson Sphere to hold him!
proof that logic is just ignorance by numbers
I keep him around to make me look thinner!
Prepare for standard orbit.
Squatty's getting into this wide-format thing.
Depends on WHICH one...
Mr Sulu, set course for the Federation Liposuction Facility....
I'm beginning to think it wasn't the trubbles that ate all the grain on that space station.
Computer, deny squatty access to donut dispenser.
There, but for the grace of warp-powered girdle, go I.
The transploder split me into two, but seems to have magnified Squatty.
Present company excluded.
Your logic is flawed my friend
No more pit stops on McDonaldus VI!
You are illogical, and Squatty is elliptical.
Check for missing crewmembers NOW!
I shudder to think how many he's got in there.
I just heard- earth now orbits us.
Now we know what really happened to Ceti Alpha 6.
I think Squatty just changed the laws of physics on that subject!
We're exploring space - not digesting it !
That was *still* no excuse for Spotty to *eat* them all!
Time to tkae a little detour to Weight Watchers Homeworld
Especially one snacks on the many
Well, beam the One to Jenny Craig.
Kirk to Enterprise - one to "pudge up".
And he always wondered why we never called HIM bones...
I knew I shouldn't have let him reroute Engineering to the the Mess Hall
Kirk: Something tells me that we need another whale.... Scotty: BOIP!
Yeah right.... and the Transporter ISN'T cringing in fear....
Just make sure the many is enormous.
That detour to Willy Wonka Prime did us no good either...
Squatty ate the Genesis Machine, and a planet has formed inside him.
And we all thought you had no sense of humor, Spook!
That explains our problems staying on course, the ship is orbiting our chief engineer.
Only I get to have my torso exposed!
Squatty! The shields are buckling! And your pants are unbuckling!
It's just nice to have someone around who outweighs ME!
Were talking philosophically right?
Martijn van Genderen
No squatty, We will not stop at every SevDonalds we encounter
There's not enough weight in your argument!
All right Squatty... cough up my seat.
Spook, if you're bragging about being the skinniest one here, SHUT UP.
And sometimes the needs of the one are an entire delicatessen
You also said that space would make him weightless.
Is that the new Weight Watchers motto?
He canna eat no more!
This happened after we upgraded our treadmill engines to warp engines
Squatty -- when I say "hard to starboard", jump to the right side of the ship
Exceptions confirm the rule.
Squatty! We suppose to save the whales, not eat them!
Spook, is this bridge strong enough to hold the one?
Computer, activate EJCH, the emergency Jenny Craig Hologram!
So he's the reason we can't reach even warped speed two!
mouse - Jefferies tube 32
I hope this movie's widescreen!
Oh yeah? Let me undo my girdle, and I'll prove you wrong!
Hey, hey, hey, it's faaaat Squatty.
Mr. Scott, you're out of uniform.
The many are starving because of the one!
Yes, I know, that's actually three uniforms they sewed together.
If Squatty outweighs any more he could turn into a black hole.
Hmm. We'd better turn down the artificial gravity!
How many ensigns does it take to sqeeze him into a turbolift?
Suck in that gut mister!
I said take the conn! Not eat the conn!
Must I point out the obvious error in your logic?
Lt. Brad Gentry
Unless the one's been on two years of shore leave.
In Squatty's case, the many are hamburgers
Oh, and speaking of weight, we've just exceeded the ship's maximum capacity...
Don't try that Velcron logic on me, Spook! Face it, he's FAT!
He's gonna blow!
Set phasers to "Deflab."
The jiggling...its like a lava lamp.
It's scary when somebody makes ME look slim.
In space, no one can hear you split your seam.
Squatty, I dinna think your pants can take anymore!
Computer, increase structural intergrity to Squatty.
Eating the enemy ship... don't teach you that at the academy
And Energy equals Squatty times the speed of light squared...
What if the many is the one?
Logically yes, but reality no.
Then the many have not met Mr. Squatt.
Spook, what does your Vulcan logic say now?
I used to think so, too... but, as you can see...
Spook, I think we found our missing shuttle.
I want to meet the Sevfleet designer who decided to put personal replicaterers in people's quarters.
This joke outweighs the boundaries of good taste and decency to those who find themselves in the unfortunate situation of obesity, a situation that brings abuse, prejudice and pain. I'm disappointed in the normally good-natured humour of sev.
Squatty, let me know if your stomach has a warp core breech.
There are, of course, exceptions to every rule.
If Squatty's 'the one', I'd hate to see 'the many'!
Squatty, what happened to the bridge crew?
Yet another catch phrase that needs revising.
Look at that belt, "She canne take no more"
Logic is Irrelevant when it comes to food.
4 of 5
I said warp SPEED not warped stomach!!!
How come HE gets the non-ripping shirts?
The scales must be malfunctioning, lets base a show on it.
Then I order him to be weighed again.
Computer, beam Squatty to the gym!
So this is why this ship can't do over 30 mile an hour - your too busy eating and getting fat
Unless the One needs a diet!
Squatty, we need more power to your containment field or we're all dead.
Escaping from his orbit should be a problem...
Squatty, when I told you to get rid of the trubbles, I didn't mean like that!
Hmmm... my ego versus Squatty's gut... it should be a titanic clash
He's taking up more of the screen than me- this can't be allowed!
But Spook!, he canna take much more!
Oohlala, Tell the crew that the snack bar is closed, until further notice..
Sometimes you CAN change the laws of physics
O.K McCoydroy. You proved Spook wrong. You can return Squaty to his natural size now.
Only if the many are planets.
I have the strange urge to do a movie about whales...
How many does Squatty count as?
There goes that theory...
That's not what my toycorder says.
Unless that one refers to Squatty's waistline or my ego.
Depends on the one.
The Chia Rhino
It would take many to outweigh this one.
Fat Jokes? Are we at the end of our pitifully old careers here?
Except for when 'the one' is a gigantic piece of flab!
Your logic is flawed...
Squatty's Girdle's snapped again huh?
Yeah...I think Squatty ate the many...donuts and eclairs.
In the case of Squatty, the one outweighs us all!
Sev Wide Web | Index | Toon Zone | Sev Shop | What's New | Contact Us
Sev Trek Comp | Scifi Comp | Pits Comp | Twist Comp | Sunday Comp
Sev Trek | Sev Files | Sevgate | Fraud of the Rings | Bluffy | Sev Wars | Sevylon 5 | Pits | Twist | Sevloid Chronicles
The Sev Wide Web and all content within are © Copyright 2000 by John Cook.
None of my material can be used on any other site without prior permission from the author.
However, feel free to link to my site from yours.