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This week's idea was suggested on the Ideas Board by Christopher
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

Barf's bruising relationships! Being in a relationship with Barf is fraught with peril. If Barf's enemies don't kill you, the Klingoff mating rituals probably will!

Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by RealmMan. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.

Stacy Duke

BASHFUL:Well, at least your heart's not broken DUX:I'm not so sure about that


BASHFUL: "I told you Klingon weddings were dangerous, Dux" DUX: "Yeah, but the honeymoon cost an arm and a leg!"


DUX: Would you believe me if I said the Tardylift collapsed again?

Cmdr. Solomon

BASHFUL: Only 2 broken limbs this time. Either Barf is getting weaker, or you're improving.


BASHFUL: That will be two weeks bedrest. Seperate!


BASHFUL: What do you see in him? DUX: He keeps me in stitches!


BASHFUL: You know Barf, it's no wonder you never have any girlfriends when you cause internal bleeding on the first date.


Doctor: What was going through your mind? Jadzia: The nearest bulkhead!


BASHFUL: Can't you just kiss and make up? DUX:That's what we WERE doing!

Ann E. Nichols

BASHFUL: Your honeymoon just won this week's "Federation Funniest Home Holograms."and/or DUX: I'm going to KILL that big-eared barkeep!

Ann E. Nichols

BASHFUL: I'm going to prescribe separate vacations. and/or DUX: Not unless you want your head separated from your body.

Ann E. Nichols

BASHFUL: Would you like some crude and lewd advice? and/or DUX: Don't even consider it.

Mike Howell (just sprucing it up a bit!)

BASHFUL: So what went wrong? DUX: No Hollowduck safties in our quarters!


BASHFUL: So what shall i get as a wedding present DUX: A Life support machine


BASHFUL: And they say breaking up is hard to do


BASHFUL: If this keeps up, you won't last the honeymoon.


BASHFUL: I'm ordering you both to a week's bedrest DUX: How do you think this happened in the first place??


BASHFUL: I *told* you not to go on a date with this man!


BASHFUL: I'm prescribing a divorce. DUX: It's about time!


BASHFUL: Bad news, your benefits just ran out. DUX: Then I want a divorce!


BASHFUL: I warned you his behaviour was temperamental. DUX: I thought you said TEMPORARY!


BASHFUL: Let me guess, the dominion's new plot to take over the galaxy involves incapacitating Starfleet officers by making them fall in love with Klingoffs


BASHFUL: Doin a little dance... DUX: Breakin a little bones.


BASHFUL: Love bites..... DUX: You're telling me!

Bill Harris

BASHFUL: What did Klingoffs do before they invented doctors? DUX: Die happy.


BASHFUL: What is it with you two!DUX: This is nothing, you should see the guy who put a trubble in our bed!


BASHFUL: Do you actually find this....relaxing? DUX: It's Klingoff massage, only they use their forehead!


BASHFUL: You two really should use protection - may I suggest ablative armour?


BASHFUL: I guess you go in for tough love, then.


BASHFUL: I told you both to wear protection!


BASHFUL: I'm used to patching you up, but how did Barf get hurt? DUX: He kept calling me "Doyawanna"!

Roger S.

BASHFUL: You said you were washing your hair

Alex Baker

Dux: Well, he was connecting my spots well I was sleeping....

Mike Howell

BASHFUL: So what went wrong? DUX: No hollowdeck safeties!

Frogboy Lives

BASHFUL: If you're not careful you're gonna need counselling. DUX: Yeah right, as if I'll ever have anything to do with THAT.

Rob Mey

BASHFUL: "Safe Sex" are two mutally exclusive terms for you aren't they?

Frogboy Lives

BASHFUL: Y'know, I'm a doctor, not a marriage counsellor.

Dr Satan

DUX: Well... you were saying business was quiet.

Kyle Bruck

DUX: Somebody thought it'd be funny to hide a tribble in our bed


BASHFUL: I told you prune juice makes him crazy, but did you listen? No....

Rob Mey

BASHFUL: Who ever said make love not war never met you two

Simon Adams

BASHFUL: Y'know, I always dreamed of the day when you would fracture MY skull Dux


BASHFUL: Why is Barf grinning? DUX: You can say he died and went to sto-vo-kor.


BASHFUL: So, how's the marrige going? DUX: It takes 8 people to handle a Klingoff. Gladly I have them.


BASHFUL: Next time, use a different lipstick! I can't figure out what's blood!

Scott McClenny

BASHFUL: I hate to see what your SECOND date will be like!


BASHFUL: Shall we go over the rules of courting now?

The Twonky

BASHFUL: You sure you aren't still interested in me? DUX: Maybe in the next lifetime.

Scott Iskow

BASHFUL: Let me guess---"A good day to die"? DUX: Yeah, for YOU if you don't hypospray us!


Bashful: Well that's the 47'th bone you've broken. Dux: 3 more and I get a free bruise!


BASHFUL: You seem accident-prone! DUX: I married HIM didn't I?


BASHFUL: This is going to kill you, you know. DUX: What a way to go!


BASHFUL: Lover's quarrel? DUX: No, the making up afterward!

ScottE Bemeup

BASHFUL: Cuts, abrasions, fractures? What happened? DUX: He likes me. He really likes me.


BASHFUL: Arguing again about who's got the better ponytail?


BASHFUL: No, I will NOT help you push your beds together!


BASHFUL: I'm sorry, but you'll just have to get used to his snoring.


Dux: When you throw rice at a wedding, you're supposed to take it out of the ten pound bags first!


BASHFUL: Well, you're the one who wanted a traditional klingoff wedding ceremony.


BASHFUL: How's the recovery from the bridal shower coming?


DUX: Next time, could you patch up the broken arms and legs BEFORE putting us in our uniforms?


DUX: WHen Klingofdfs say you always hurt the one you love, they mean it!


BASHFUL: What happened? DUX: The beginning of a beautiful friendship!

Tom Hyde

BASHFUL: Jazzsinger, stay OUT of bed for two weeks.


BASHFUL: Do you know what your getting yourself into? DUX: Yeah, traction!

Captain Treklin

BASHFUL: If this is what I get during your engagement, I don't want to be your Doc when you're married.

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

BASHFUL: I see you've both had a nasty trip DUX: Yes it was our honeymoon!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

BASHFUL: Sticks and stones don't break their bones but having a snog just might!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

BASHFUL: Don't say you two have broken up again?!

The Great Wizzard

BASHFUL: Cut it down a bit! Schidzo wants to start a war, so casualties from there have higher priorities!


BASHFUL: Dux, Barf what happened? And/or DUX: Everything was all right until Barf told me about Klingoff weddings.


DUX: This is another definition for "unsafe sex"...

David D

BASHFUL: I told you not to play catch and kiss

The Great Wizzard

BASHFUL: Stop seeing each other! I almost ran out of bandages!

The Great Wizzard

DUX: We were attacked by a group of Gem'Hoarder! BASHFUL: Noone's gonna fall for it!


Bashful: "What happened THIS time?" Dux: "He left the toilet seat up again."


Bashful: "Well, at least I don't have to break out the body casts this time."

Wendee Rae

Bashful: This will make a great paper. Dux: You'll make a great punching bag!

Wendee Rae

Bashful: It's your anniversary? Dux: The traditional gift for the first is bruises.

Wendee Rae

Dux: If you don't keep this quiet, I'll love you too!

Wendee Rae

BASHFUL: So this is Klingon love? Dux: If he really loved me, my left hand would be broken.

Wendee Rae

BASHFUL: When you two get divorced, don't come limping to me.


That'll teach you not to tickle him!

Barry Tuxworth

BASHFUL: So what happened DUX: Barf's first time doing the tango.

The Chia Rhino

BASHFUL: What kind of game are you two playing? DUX: Twister, Klingoff style.

Kyle Bruck

BASHFUL: What were you two doing? and DUX: He stole the covers

the little red caboose

Bashful: Funny how his girlfriends suffer more than his enemies!


BASHFUL: Oh jolly, the love birds are here AGAIN


DUX: And THAT was just the engagement ceremony...


BASHFUL: Well, I can heal just about anything, so knock yourselves out. DUX: We did, several times.


BASHFUL: You two shouldn't fight like that. DUX: Just be glad we didn't use the knives this time.


BASHFUL: Looking forward to marital bliss? DUX: If we don't kill each other first.


BASHFUL: Do you have life insurance? DUX: Barf just took out a big policy on me. Why?


BASHFUL: Bat'leth practice? DUX: Contract negotiations.


BASHFUL: Did you know that your courtship is in violation of 9 Sev Fleet laws regarding violence?


BASHFUL: I suggest getting attacked by Gem'Hoarders. It's less dangerous.


BASHFUL: Beaten by Romulans? Gnawed by Targs? DUX: No, just necking with Barf.


BASHFUL: Multiple cuts, bruises and lacerations. DUX: Gee, and you didn't even notice my hicky.


BASHFUL: What is it with all of your wounds? DUX: Bloodlust obviously.

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