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This week's idea was suggested on the Ideas Board by Luigi Novi.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

Cursing Beta! As the movies went on, the profanities seemed to slip in more and more until Beta (of all people) finally let slip with a fully fledged swear word!


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek Movie Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by chris. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.


Ikarus

How can a pale guy have such a colorful language?

Ann E. Nichols

I hate sideseat drivers!

Ann E. Nichols

Beta, I'm going to have the Captain order you to download Miss Manners.

Jonathan

I've always wanted to skip the saucer section like a rock

Shmuel

oh, relax, no one dies on star trek. on the other hand, no one swears either, hmmm...

Shmuel

hey, that's 2 things that I never thought I'd do. crush the ship and here beta swear.

Lord Twinkie

Watch your binary codes young man!!!

Panza

There ARE children on board, Beta.

Panza

Beta, I didn't know you had it in you!

Panza

Don't worry Beta, I took a crash course in piloting...

Graeme Lyon

You're talking in symbols again!

47 of 1701

All Hands. Brace for Beta making Number One.

Kenyar Jad

Beta, do you want to fly this thing?

Scott McClenny

I see you've been spending time with Barf again!

srrgn

You should know I failed my SevFleet driving exam.

two-four-§ev

Relaaax - I'll park this baby pine, I mean fine!

John Lang

Computer...one bar of soap so I can wash Beta's mouth out!

Wendee Rae

A blind guy and a teenager could do it, why can't I?

Wendee Rae

A teenager flew this for years and I crash it in 10 minutes.

Wendee Rae

Worry about Subplot's litter box later!

§Sean§

Ooooh! - what's that big pretty blue ball?

Space Katet

I feel what your saying, Beta.

Space Katet

Captain, this planet is covered in excrement.

Space Katet

Who programmed in that function?

chris

Gaudy, you took the wrong censors offline!

chris

Commander, the censors are down...

Bobby

Cheesh, with language like that, no wonder it's called Degeneration

Mike Withrow

Calm down, Beta, it's just the Weather Channel!

Unka Woofie

No, that's a planet.

Unka Woofie

You just voided your warranty.

Admiral Dude

I'm sensing profanity.

Allan

Does this thing have air-bags?

Patty

All redshirts! Report to the nearest exploding consoles!

venus_heather

So... When's my next driving lesson?

Griffin

Why do you say that every time we orbit a planet?

Bill Harris

Well, why didn't tell me you had installed Windows 2000 on this thing!

Bill Harris

Fine, let's see you do better, Mr. "Intel Inside".

Brian

I am sensing that you need a censor!

Brian

Beta, I'm a senser, not a censor!

Shlamko

This is no time to be fully functional, Beta!

Griffin

Bridge to Engineering. We have a sensor malfunction up here.

TH

Beta, this may be your last chance to apologise to Dr. Cruncher.

joseph

At least its better than the Happy Life Form song.

BitterAndy

Well that upped the rating to a 12.

Roget

Beta, activate your v-chip!

TW

Piker told me to make a log entry...

Cordavin Lon

I'm a empath, not a censor!

Cordavin Lon

I can CONSOLE a MAN, not MAN a CONSOLE!

Cordavin Lon

That's not an order, is it?

Nova D'Korat

No $#*@.

KatrinaS

You took the words right out of me.

Mark

So, how do you land this thing?

Mark

Aw, ship!

Mark

(singing) Lifepods...Oh, those little lifepods...

Mark

Beta, re-engage PC filter!

SEELE 01

You always say that when I take the helm

Steev

I thought you said 'aim it straight and floor it', not 'initiate standard orbit'.

Forester

I thought you'd like a closer look at the lifeforms.

Forester

What? I'm only taking us in for the view.

Steev

Hey watch it! Do think this is a movie where they can just edit that stuff out?

Forester

Who said Quirk's the only one to destroy a ship.

Forester

Well you did say it's a crash course.

Forester

You see, I told you having a tv distracts me from driving.

Steev

Check sensors! Beta thinks there may be $#*@ down there.

Forester

What's the problem? I'm only taking it into orbit.

Steev

Computer, translation please.

Steev

Gaudy Regurge, get down to the bridge. We need to to check Beta's voice modulation sequencer.

Flagg

Well someones cranky today!

jak

I take it that you ARE fully functional after all.

Dr Satan

So my 'standard orbit' is too low for you? Wanna see it get lower?

m

tell me how you really feel

Michael "borgy" Finley

MOVE! Where's the horn.....

Michael Kraft

Don't worry I'll just hit the reset button. Um where is it?

Brian

I hope that was just a syntax error!

yorgi

You'll have to hold it in Beta, the toilets were in the other section!!

yorgi

I liked the "Life forms" song better...

+PsychoPat+

All decks! Brace for incoming Christmas trees!

8 of 12

You were the one who challenged me to 'Duel of the Consoles'!!

Barry Tuxworth

What are you worried about at least they can put you back together!!

KSheff

6 Trillion calculations per second and that's all you can come up with?

Paul Crozier

Sounds like your emotion chip finally activated its obscenity subroutine.

Cassandra

And they say I point out the obvious.

D.Kacinski

Yes, All of our "Little Lifeforms" are saying the same thing.

Mark

So tell me Beta, what are you feeling?

8 of 12

Am I going to lose points for this?

chris

No, this is a *ship*. Say it with me. Shiiiip.

Dr Satan

I sense fear... I can also smell it.

jdwiseman

I sense burning postitronic circuits.

Buckwheat

You'll never make the 'punchline of the day' with language like that!

JDSandara

Well if you don't like my driving you can take over.

Elf

Wheeeehaw! I`m the Queen of the World!

MissIzzy

I sense the PG directive is broken

Corsair

Say one thing about women drivers, and you're deactivated!

Pankin

Watch your mouth, binary boy!

Michael Kraft

I sense you are not impressed with my flying skills.

Trevor Raggatt

Of course I can't fly it. THis is the first time in 7 years I've had to actually DO anything.

Trevor Raggatt

And the first one who says "Women drivers!" gets 3-months of gender politics sessions.

Morgan

You should have gone before we left.

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Just shut your eyes Beta like I do!

yorgi

And you're deep in it if Captain PinchHard heard you!

The Great Wizzard

Hey! Watch your §$&#@ language!

Trevor Raggatt

Now, let me remember..."Mirror? Signal? Crashland....

Rob Mey

Why are you worried?? Your butt has a built in air bag!!

Rob Mey

Keep quiet and aim for some soft indigenious life forms

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Creativity, imagination, brevity and funniness - I'm impressed Beta!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Don't you get a help file with this thing?

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Which way's left again?!

Leander

Count lifeforms on the planet AFTER our landing!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

That's exactly what Piker said the last time he gave me a driving lesson!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

I didn't know you spoke klingoff!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Where did you say the brake was again?

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

I hope that's a technical term Beta!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

EEny....meeny.....miny....mo...to which continent shall we go?!

Qui Gon Vin

I sense extreme anxiety from the crew!

Captain Treklin

Hey! I'm only on my 'L' plates.

Dr. Jonas Bashir

That was definitely NOT politically correct.

Dr. Jonas Bashir

Captain, I'm feeling horrible synthetic emotions here.

bronze007

I'm guessing that's not the name of this planet

Flagg

The blinking red light and sirens are bad right?

Flagg

Well I'm alot better than the blind guy!

HAL

I should give you a cyber-spanking!

Ravenid

Data does that turn the indicator on or eject the warp core?

Endris Gakor

I sense agreement with you.

Anton Geurts

I wish we never put in that chip then he would go:"Sir, I think we have a problem"

Chris

Back Seat Driver

Tad Kilgore

Beta, Turn off Zapf Dingbats!

Michael P

That's it buster! If we survive this you're going into therapy and I'm taking a driver's ed course!

jak

We'll discuss your fears, after I figure out these controls.

Riff

Road-rage doesn't help things!

Dr Satan

How many lives do you get on this game?

Daniv

Oh great, he's started talking in machine code again.

Niac

Lard, what have you done with Beta?

Niac

Did anyone get the number on that Klingoff Bird-of-prey?

DS

beta run a defrag

Starlink

Are you sure that's the planet's name?

Joyda

Ok, that's closer, but Poo-poo isn't cursingg

Joyda

Congrats... you're beginning to sound like humans, too

littlestar

Shut up and...oh, just shut up!

dettus

Thatīs okay... Speak about your emotions...

Admiral Dude

Watch your sound card young man!!!

Ken (Soton) C.

Hey none of these buttons are labeled

Capt. Bob.

Are you Telepathic Beta? Because we're all thinking the same thing.

Ken (Soton) C.

Oh Dang! I broke a nail, take over Beta

Edward

Oh be quiet, I can do my nails, fly the ship, and miss the planet. Men are all alike when a woman is at the helm.

Griffin

Just stick with techno-babel.

Kathrin

Err…Beta I know you try your best to become a human but this wasn’t exactly what I’ve meant.

4ever grad student

Beta, you need to update your curse database to the 24th century!

Graeme Lyon

Mention women drivers and you die

PFOX

You wreck one starship and everyone gets paranoid the minute you get behind the wheel again.

Cybermoose

Ahh, that planet will stop the ship, cause I can't.

Mike Howell

Beta, this is the 24th Century. "$#*@!!" hasn't been a swear word for 300 years!

Matt McLaughlin

Beta, wanna trade seats?

Robert Underwood

We finally get to use a good word and it comes from the android...That's it! I'm crashing the ship!

gollee

Ahem, Measly is here...

Robert Underwood

Well, what did you expect, leaving me at the helm?

Shlamko

Well, here goes the planet!

Gollee

I feel something impolite in this room...

Shlamko

The proffanity chip seems to work.

Shlamko

You finally got emotions, and that's what you say?

Shane

Ctrl, alt, delete, why won't it work...

Shlamko

Beta, your SHIFT key's stuck.

Powerlord

I'm sorry. My contract forbids me from doing something useful like piloting the ship.

Powerlord

This is the last time I take piloting instructions from an Android.

Powerlord

I guess I should have told you: I don't have a drivers license.

Molokov

What the heck is "Dollar Hash Star At Bang Bang" supposed to mean?

Quip

At least I drive better than you sing!

Quip

Oh relax, I see it!

evay

Yes, that WAS an appropriate use of a "colorful metaphor."

Quip

The planet's in MY way, let IT move!

Kathrin

I always said I am a therapist not a pilot but who would listen to me?

Kathrin

To boldly go where no Counsellor has gone before.

§Sean§

No Beta, that's "Oh SEV!" not "Oh $#@!!"

§Sean§

You should see me try to parallel park

§Sean§

yeah the infinity of space to fly in and I'm gonna hit the only planet within a parsec

§Sean§

I know! I've never been able to fly a stick shift starship

insanity ink

Bata, that language chip, where did you get it from.

Talythia

The view's not that bad!

ewok

Captain!! Beta said a baaad word

Allan

Oh, was I supposed to indicate?

Allan

Computer, beam 150g of soap into Beta's mouth

Allan

There goes the no-claims bonus.

Allan

Might as well randomly push some buttons...

Allan

It's only a small dent.

Wendee Rae

Not exactly the 'you did your best' I'd hoped for.

sevaholic

great view isn't it

Cybermoose

In space no one can hear you cuss.

Viserov

Now where's the plot hole button on this thing?

Viserov

Piker, ready for an unscheduled shore leave?

Viserov

Beta, here's another example of being spontaneous...

Viserov

I'm seeing what is going to drop faster: the Enterprise or the movie's ratings.

Naraht

I hate it when you talk in ASCII

Naraht

I'm sensing fear...is that bad?

Naraht

Is that planet supposed to be there?

1of2

Hold on to your horses or , in your case, cats..

Death_hammer

You are getting a little too human now...

Viserov

You're gonna wish Sevfleet invented seatbelts.

Viserov

Is it me or is the planet getting bigger?

Danielle

I said 'How does this make you feel Beta?'

Tim N.

Now will you stop singing?

JC

My flying is so bad it, even makes an android cuss.

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