Hosted by HashSev Wide WebIndexToon ZoneWeb ZoneDTP ZoneSev ShopWhat's New









Click here to publish this Competition on your siteClick here to publish this cartoon in your newsletterClick here to buy this comic strip


This week's idea was suggested on the Ideas Board by 8 of 12
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

The singing Hollowdoctor. He's pompous... he's full of himself... HE'S A PROGRAM!! How is it that the most interesting character on the show is a piece of software?! Well, interesting to all but his own crew.


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by Mark. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.


Darrel W. Beach

Okay, maybe there are drawbacks to drinking 30 cups of coffee a day.

Sinkau Baylan

If he asks for stage lighting and full Medieval costume, his vocal subroutines are going out the window!!

Sinkau Baylan

Doctor, are your auditory subroutines still functioning? Listen to yourself!!

Sinkau Baylan

Well, at least we won't have to worry about stasis chambers any more.....

Sinkau Baylan

Just imagine what a lullaby could do...

Cybermoose

At least the snoring makes it sound better

Yorgi

The curse of living with a healthy crew

1of69

We sacrificed 30 gigaquads of the main computer for THIS?!

LadyDragonFlyz

I just hope the latest coffee buzz is loud enough to drown him out.

Juan Deer

Doctor, the next time you make an improvement on yourself, make sure its an improvement.

Scott McClenny

Ten,when you're done with that recalibrate the Doctor's perimters to Interesting!

Cybermoose

This can't be good for structural integrety

ziyal

Scary, I can't differentiate the singing from the snoring!

goreon

I like think I like slide shows after all docter.

D.Kacinski

I Knew we should have given him a pitch subroutine.

Shanin

If only he'd downloaded a personality subroutine...

Bill Harris

There's never a Kraze-on attack when you need one.

Scott McClenny

Computer begin self-destruct on next high C !

Anne

Hey Doc, remember that alien race that thought you were so great? Were they DEAF?

Ellis

Pssst...Chokolatay...tel another one of your ancient legends...

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Which wise guy programmed in Captain Proton the Musical!

Billy Arbco

10, signal the nearest Bored vessel! Assimilation has to be better then THIS!

Wyv

No hair, no voice... NO USE!

Bill Harris

Ten, couldn't you give him a "tune" up?

Wyv

Doc, report to sickbay for selfdiagnosis.

Wendee Rae

I'm afraid a Forager boy band is out of the question.

Cassandra

I thought he was supposed to relieve pain

Cmdr. Solomon

Good thing the Windows are shatter proof.

Hajlendr

Who deleted his ethics program?

Raven

The one time I regret drinking coffee.

Robert Underwood

Parasite, please find a way/ To load a happyspray./ Then when I give the sign,/ Aim strait for my behind.

alahamtide

Time to grab a phaser and end this G rating

Christine O'Connor

surely someone gave him a mute button

Ug

If I deleted him right now, it could be considered justifiable holocide.

Mary

I haven't heard sounds like that since Neelix backed into the plasma coil!

Daniel

This will make the trip home quicker, we can all sleep clear through it.

Dial "M" for Maul

Where's a plot crisis when you need one?

Murdoc

Quick! Bring out the uncooperative prisoner!

Yorgi

Yes seven, we do this for fun

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Who's hair-brained idea was this anyway?

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

I never gave you authorization to download mp3 files!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Press shuffle and lets get outta here!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Computer - end series!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Can you see Earth yet, Twoblocks?!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Next time we're going into stasis the easy way!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

I asked for a window seat!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Are these Bee Gees native to the Delta Quadrant then?!

HeavyB3

That's enough to make my hair stand on... wait.. never mind

HeavyB3

10, is there something on that thing lower than mute?

Quackaroni

99 bottles of beer on the wall doesn't sound any better in Italian.

Nicholas Roche

I just HAD to have that extra cup of coffee this morning!

Kieran Kobitz

It this or listening to Chakotay...I better get some new friends!

Cordavin Lon

I hate budget cuts - they can't afford the Borg makeup anymore, so now they're keeping the obstacles "simple"...

KaraMeL

I knew I shouldn't have let Tomb Parasite mess with the Doctor's voice harmonics

Kyle247

I knew I should have drank decaf...

Kyle247

We might as well go watch our own show, Doctor!

Kyle247

A sedative would have been less painful, Doctor!

BW

Why didn't Kes take me along?

Ann E. Nichols

When Ten drops, I'll win the marathon!

Kathrin

Today is a good day to be deaf

Deuce V

why did we let him remove his off command?

Deuce V

Computer, reactivate life support

Deuce V

that's one hologram not making it back to the alfalfa quandrant

Deuce V

We've got to get him a girlfriend

Deuce V

I think we'll switch back to the old red alert siren

Joke L. Chimes

Computer, eliminate Vic Fontaine subroutine from the EMH

Joke L. Chimes

Well, I should be thankful he's not singing "Row, Row, Row You Boat"

The Admiral

Computer Engage The Auto Destruct Sequence, Set To Blow At The Next High Note

Sevanonymous

Can we just skip to the episode where I get assimilated?

Jokechimes

Computer, video only on the EMH....aw heck, end program altogether

Cursen Dix

your technique for saving hypospray supplies is remarkable Doctor

-

Tuvok, you find out who this Barry Manilow is.

HirogenHunter

I'd rather play another game with the Hirogen!

Capt. RJB

Computer: initiate emergency holographic tuning-fork

BM

Seven, have you found the "mute" button yet?

FieldGeneral

I need to start wearing my hair lower. Over my ears, if possible.

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Bridge - Scan for temporal anomalies -seems like we've been here for days!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Do you know any songs from Hair?

Caleb

Ten, assimilate that mobile emitter!

Craig Lillie

Did they HAVE to program him with the singing talents of William Shatner???

Seeker

Why did they put "duracells" in that mobile emitter?

Anneke

OK, you made your point: you're a doctor, NOT a performer...

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Damned upgrades!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Computer - erect emergency forcefields around my ears!

Adam

At least he's not 'the Dancing Doctor'.

Adam

All hands, abandon messhall.

Michael "Borgy" Finley

Doctor, report to sickbay for a tune up!

Harley Cat

This is not what I meant when I said the crew should get some rest.

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Don't hail us.... we'll hail you!

Robert Aaron

Times like these make me wish I was assimilated....

DanDaMan

I underestimated your powers. Your singing is more lethal than the ship's phaser!

Yorgi

Were it not for the reinforced containment field, my hair would be standing on end

Yorgi

Pity he didn't learn how to mime instead

Yorgi

An enemy attack would be welcomed about now

Tyrrogan

With the harmonics from this snoring, this is actually quite soothing.

Tyrrogan

Well, we've been stuck out here for six years - he was bound to go troppo eventually.

Wendee Rae

Okay, who suggested the name Dr. Pavoratti?

Wendee Rae

And I thought Tomb only drooled for Bologna.

Wendee Rae

When his ego gets bigger than my hair, turn him off.

Allan

Computer, record this. There may be military applications.

Allan

Computer, record this and use it in the turbo-lifts.

Allan

I thought the idea was to improve morale, not remove.

Kenny

We finally discovered something more boring than one of our own episodes.

Allan

Self-morphing programs still don't thrill me.

Allan

Starships, time travel and bad software.

TheZedster

Hmmm its up to me to do something totally psychotic to liven this episode up as usual

TheZedster

captains log: It was tough love; they had to know the effect they had on everyone else

TheZedster

actually the crew looks more lively than usual

TheZedster

Computer, take note, have samples of my hair distributed to the crew as sound proofing

tuvoky_wo

Computer, make the EMH sound like a chipmunk

Cmdr. Solomon

All this advanced Technology...and what do we produce? Another Quirk.

Cordavin Lon

Why couldn't I just get tortured by Cardassians like Picard?

Cordavin Lon

I wish I could just crawl into a plot hole and die...

Robert Falcon

What was that vocal override Bologna put in, "Shut up for the love of God?"

DanDaMan

To boldly go through what nobody's been through before...

Chris

"Lullabies of the Delta Quadrant" is not suitable for dinner theater.

Matt

Whoever added THIS musical subroutine to the EMS program has just volunteered as "live bait" for our next encounter with the borg

E.J.

So NO ONE remembers how to deactivate him?

Matt

Do you take requests? Good. Take a break.

Matt

I see you've perfected your "heavy sedation" program.

Nan

Someone needs to destroy his vocal chip!

Peter Moss

If he does'nt stop this soon I'm gonna hit his reset button.

Starscream

Computer: Fast Foward mode!!

Mike Minks

That mobile emitter has enough energy for a cup of coffee!

KathyQ

Now I'm regretting that 47th cup of coffee.

KathyQ

At least we'll never run out of anesthetic.

Kathy

A bored and a Velcron. Great company.

Avenger CO

Computer. End doctor.

Dryad47

You're right Twoblocks, I prefer, "Please state the nature of the medical emergency." to the singing hollowdoctor.

RobRoy

That's it! No more batteries for your mobile emitter!

Quip

NOW let them laugh at my sound-proof hairdo!

Martijn Takke

That 'Year of Hell" thing wasn't so bad at all, come to think of it!

Polgara

Maybe if I offer a trade: I give him hair, he gives me silence.

4 of 5

and to think all this time the ultimate weapon against the bored was under our nose.

Sinkau Baylan

"Gainweight to Torrid, you all set down there?? Activate the vocal containment field!!"

Shlamko

Why did we ever let him out of sickbay?

Patrick

I dont know how, but my hair fell asleep

Nodrog_CRC

The good news is I'm tone deaf. The bad news is that I'm not totally deaf.

Number 0

Captain to Transporterroom: one mobile emitter to beam out ... NOW!

dettus

ah great... That last note you sang matched our shield frequency.

Glorendil

Computer, terminate program. Computer? Computer!!!

Lester Gash

Computer, add cafine directly into the airvents, THEY MUST STAY AWAKE!

Flotter

I never ordered for the crew to go into stasis!

EnchanteR

I think he's infected with a soprano virus. Computer, erase doctor.

Chris G

Trust me to drink that double espresso earlier

AT

Captain's Log, sevdate 47389.5. The Doctor has invented the perfect sedative...

Tyrrogan

I can see I'm going to have to increase coffee strength again.

two-four-žev

No wonder Cuss left sickbay.....

Vonnie

I'm sorry Doctor but this does not prove I drink too much coffee..

mattman

In space no-one should hear you sing.

Johnathan McClure

Erase him! He's counteracting our coffee!

Williamson

Ten, have you figured some way to shut down the Doctor yet?

Mike Howell

Doctor, doesn't the Hypocratic Oath demand "First, do NO harm?"

Mike Howell

I think _this_ qualifies as a "medical emergency!"

DanDaMan

10, punch someone. Doc needs a patient to attend to.

Matt FalconKnight

Even my ridiculously massive hairdo can't block the doctor's terrible voice! All is lost!

Gregory Griffiths

I see deleted hollowgrams...

Gregory Griffiths

Doctor, you really need to meet Ensigns Gilbert and Sullivan...

Gregory Griffiths

Computer, activate Emergency Singing Teacher Hollowgram!

Gregory Griffiths

Doctor, are you sure this is the best way to treat my insomnia?

Gregory Griffiths

Doctor, this just isn't working! We need to come up with another way to get me to sleep, even with all this caffeine in my system!

Here goes nothing

Must... get... coffee... before... it's... to... late

adamr3365

Computer, beam my hair into his throat

Roald

Medical reports just aren't interesting, Doctor, whether you sing them or not.

adamr3365

Computer, beam earplugs tirectly into my ears

Rene Bunny

Bridge, keep all comm channels open... some more of this and the Bored will send us home!

jak

At least the snoring drowns out his singing.

Russell Christiansen

Anyone who tells the EMH to shut up gets an instant promotion!! I'm looking at you, Hairy Chin!!!

Russell Christiansen

I have to say, Kneelick's food is good as earplugs!!

Ozzy

Computer, lock on to the doctor and beam him into space. In space, nobody can hear him sing.

Dr Satan

Hopefully this bug will be fixed in EMH v1.4

Zap Rowsodwer3141

A jury of any sentient beings would never convict me....

Dr Satan

Computer, open the windows. Sound can't travel through a vacuum

John Guenther

Sore butts and massive headaches... he's just making more work for himself.

John Guenther

Tomorrow, I'm having Tom hide his mobile emitter.

John Guenther

I've heard stories of Data singing too... it's obviously something programmers haven't mastered yet.

John Guenther

Good thing those windows are several inches thick.

Polgara

All hands, brace for boredom!

1of2

Fine, I'll give you some hair, just be QUIET!!

Dave Rambo

Does he know anything other than "I'm a little teapot"?

Martijn Takke

Even the computer stopped listening to voice-commands!

Martijn Takke

When is there an old fashioned screwdriver to jam into your ear canal when you need one!

m

in flight entertainment is not what it used to be

Rene Bunny

Keep going Doc, we've more 30,000 light years to keep them in stasis!

Dexter

Ten, if you don't come up with an idea how to delete just the doc's opera files, I will delete him completely!

Buckwheat

Computer, replace EMH vocal subroutines with sound of fingernails on chalkboard.

Harry Hazeel

Memo: Brig for anyone who calls encore...

Lyra

Computer, disable EMH's opera subroutines, and his vocal subroutines, and his attitude subroutines, and his, oh just deactivate all of him already!

Niki

Whatever happened to "I'm a doctor, not a baritone!"?

1of2

Good thing I put a coffee maker in my hair

009

60,000 light years never seemed so long until now

Mats-Trek

Dammit, EMH! from now on you're a ensign, not a doctor!

Mats-Trek

Dammit, EMH! You're a Doctor, not a singer!

Derek

If shooting someone is what it takes to make this stop... Tuvok, are you willing to take one for the team?

Mats-Trek

I'm not a least bit sleepy, well time to get my 20th cup of coffee

justin capone

Doctor I believe we have discovered the ultimate weapon against the bored.

Cami

We need to delete his vocal cords!

Londo Moelarry

Must...stay...awake. If I nod off, the weight of the 'do will snap my neck like a twig

MissIzzy

Okay, Kneelicks is no longer the most annoying person on board.

Dial "M" for Maul

Anybody who says "Encore" will be summarily executed.

Dial "M" for Maul

Now I know what it feels like to be stuck in the viewing audience.

Dial "M" for Maul

8 seasons of coffee and this still makes me drowsy!

Philip Tosh

Computer, remind me to ask Belogna to destroy all the holo-emiters.

ScottE Bemeup

Note to self, install mute button on EMH.

ScottE Bemeup

Computer, initiate warp core breach.

ScottE Bemeup

Darn! If it weren't for all this caffeine, I'd be able to sleep, too.

SPQRSYC

What is this, his latest surgical anaesthetic?

iolar58

cannot... fall asleep.... too much... coffee...

Sophie

Now the crew knows I wasn't bluffing!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Don't worry! He's only got another 47 verses to go!


Computer: delete "singing.exe" from EMH programme

Agee

Computer: Activate the Emergency Earplug Holographic Program!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Computer activate self destruct sequence!

mouse - Jefferies tube 32

Are we there yet?!

BitterAndy

Doctor, we'll promote you if you stop singing!

Cameron Mason

Computer: disable EMH's vocal sub-routines

BitterAndy

Computer, beam me out into space!

evay

Could be worse... he could dance.

evay

Well, it was him or Vic Fountain O'Pain!

BitterAndy

Fortunately the hair blocks out the sound.

Shlamko

Well, I guess there IS something worse the kneelicks's cooking!

The Ranting Wizzard

Computer! Delete EMH! Emergency authorization Janeway Beta-Omicron-Rho-Epsilon-Delta!

BitterAndy

At times like this I wish I drank decaf.

Shlamko

Thank god this do covers my ears!

Back Sev Trek: The Comic Strip Next


Sev Wide Web | Index | Toon Zone | Sev Shop | What's New | Contact Us
Sev Trek Comp | Scifi Comp | Pits Comp | Twist Comp | Sunday Comp
Sev Trek | Sev Files | Sevgate | Fraud of the Rings | Bluffy | Sev Wars | Sevylon 5 | Pits | Twist | Sevloid Chronicles
Sev Trek Movie | Sev Wars 3D Trailer | The Vault | Discussion Board | Ideas Board | Sevilian Board | Privacy Policys

The Sev Wide Web and all content within are © Copyright 2000 by John Cook.
None of my material can be used on any other site without prior permission from the author.
However, feel free to link to my site from yours.