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This week's idea was suggested on the Ideas Board by Mr. Fuzzy
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

The Breen. They're mysterious... They've never been seen... Do they conceal some dark secret? Or are they just a copy of Babylon 5's Vorlons? This strip reveals what's really going on under their refrigeration suits.


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by Seeker. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.


Graeme Lyon

They're all agoraphobic.

Goldleaf

Why do you never put wrinkle cream on?!?!

Klingers

If it helps you, think of them as a walking bar-fridge.

Matt

It's questions like that one that convinced me we needed a new, and smarter, evil ally !!!

Matt

For the same reason why you should be wearing one - phew !!!!

Chris Needham

They defrost once a year, or when they can't get their helmets on because of the ice buildup!

Kay

Don't you know what happens when you stick your tongue on cold metal...It STICKS!

Antie

They haven't heard of velco yet.

Jeff

They're sealed for freshness.

Dr Satan

They have really bad gas. It's for the best that they wear it.

Luigi Novi

We have Troi, Kira, Dux, Torres and Seven of Nine walking around on these Trek shows, and you want the BREEN to take off their suits??

Sinkau Baylan

For the same reason that they don't have any mirrors.

MatthewS

Because you NEVER serve Breen at room temperture

Johnathan McClure

They're mutated ice cream.

Dacron

Six-inch-tall aliens don't get much respect

Beatmonster

They're even environmentally unfriendly

idiotboy

I've asked, but can you understand a thing they say?

Wendee Rae

The microwave suits didn't work too well.

007 of Nine

Haven't you ever heard of the Jolly Breen Giant?

Kay

I've never seen YOU take off that uniform.

m

because then they would be "has-breens"!!

Bill Harris

As hot as your Carsalesman like it, I've been considering getting one myself.

Russell S. Boltz

... I think that they fight better when chilled.

Steve Cooper

The other worlds insisted. The Breen don't use anti-persperent.

Yankee Kiwi

Are you kidding? If they mumble that bad, how do you think they're gonna look????

idiotboy

And reveal that they are really a bunch of scantily clad women like in Sev Wars?

Krispos

They are mandated by the Anti-B.O. Act of 2246

Kalahari Karl

And you thought your face scared children...

Mr. Memo

We have bad hair days. They have bad body days.

Stacy Duke

*laughs* Obviously, you've never had Breen Fro-Yo.

Kalahari Karl

Did you see the label on the back? "Guaranteed Fresh until 2034?"

Beatmonster

Because warm 'n' cuddly ain't menacing - or cool.

Ensign Expendable

It keeps them fresher longer.

Kevin Watts

What, you'd rather see them in a thong?

Brendan Jones

They are trying to keep up with the Velourons...

Matt

You are kidding.. right? and you wonder why you aren't in charge around here?

gizmo

They haven't invented deodorant yet!

AT

Given that phasers seem to be magically attracted to the Federation's enemies, wouldn't you wear a suit of armour?

Fuzzbucket

I don't know, but maybe you should give one a try.

Griffin

Babes go for the intergalactic man of mystery look.

Paul Crozier

Shhhh. That's for the next X-Generation movie plot.

Paul Crozier

So we can use 5 actors for 1000 "different" breen.

SkinOfEvil

You ever see how much garlic they eat?

Raptor5880

Let's just say the Breen were never know for their looks.

daniel

they use them to store food

Nixie

Cos they look even uglier underneath!

Quip

Shrinkage.

Quip

Trust me, it beats their whining about the heat!

Quip

Beats me... I'd say they're spoiled already!

The Return of Fox Cutter

They'd lose those cooool shades.

RealmMan

The one technology they lack: zippers.

Cirrus

Remember what happened to the Klingoff's foreheads? It happened to their entire bodies

The Traveler

And I always wonder why YOU don't take your ugly mask off!

Yankee Kiwi

Yeah, I know. They do take the idea of being "cool" way too far.....

Marc Bennett

What, so we can have loads more silly make up?!

Marc Bennett

Well we dont want another load of American accented actors with funny ears now do we?!

bryn.Y.

Because they are not dressed underneath them!

Luigi Novi

If you two start stripping, I'm leaving!

Luigi Novi

Maybe they're all really fat, and those suits are really industrial-strength girdles.

Luigi Novi

Maybe the angelic beings of light will fly out?

Luigi Novi

Do ya think there's maybe just a little bald kid in there?

LHicks

Acne like you wouldn't believe!

The Thing from Behind the Sofa

They're actually highly evolved fridge mould.

The Thing from Behind the Sofa

Because they've got your looks but better sense.

Puke

You ever seen a naked Breen?

Alex

They can't accept that they've gone out of style.

Naz

Because we can't afford decent masks.

Scott McClenny

It's the only way they can keep a straight face!

4ever grad student

I hear it holds a keg of beer

Gobi Toby

I dunno. I think it's the same reason that you sleep in your armor.

Gobi Toby

Hey, if YOU could look like Boba Fett for a day, would you take it off?

tuvoky_wo

Have you smelt a Breen above 2 degrees?

Martijn Takke

Even their MOTHERS have a hard time loving what's underneath.....

C Bemis

Because they all look like Carrie Fisher.

§Sean§

It's just a 'Fett'-ish of theirs

§Sean§

Chicks think they look "Cool"

Aaron

It takes too long to put them back on.

Aaron

They lost the keys

Kirk's Wig

I would, but there aren't any zips on this damn thing

Florenz Villegas

It's easier to make action figures..

Joseph

What, and us find out that they are human- except for some funny looking head makeup? Why ruin the suspense.

Matthew Ralston

It's a robot suit...underneith they're all...ew!...squishy brain thingy!

SESS-PITY

It's cheaper to sew a suit than to apply make-up.

Calicia

The mystery of what they *really* look like is a great way to get chicks.

dejaren

have you ever smelt off milk

Naz

Would YOU take it off if you were half-human, half-aardvark?

Fuzzbucket

They like the smell of their own farts.

Fuzzbucket

Because there's a T.V. built into the helmet.

Oliver Arnold

Can't you see this typical nose? They look like ALF from Melmac!

Fuzzbucket

I don't know, but I bet ya 50 bars of latinum that I can have it off him by 2300 hours!

Chris Hatt

Shh! Princess Leia doesn't want to be seen moonlighting!

Wendee Rae

Breen there, done that!

Inqbus

The race creator was fired. Too many pointed ears.

Dano Langevin

Then they'd have to write dialogue for them.

Dano Langevin

Yeah, they think they're so cool.

Dano Langevin

What's so odd about that? I haven't changed my outfit in three seasons.

Quip

They'd lose their cool.

Quip

I never thaw one!

Quip

They'd feel un-fresh!

Quip

The little light would stay on.

Quip

Ever hear what happened to "Frosty?"

Troy H. Cheek

Then we wouldn't be able to use the same extra for all their guest appearances.

Rob Hal

It's the latest trend from the homeworld.

mattman

They can only exist, floating in chilled beer.

Fernando Martin

They think they look "cool" in those things!

Johnathan McClure

They're 90% Cheddar Cheese.

Johnathan McClure

They're smuggling drugs.

Johnathan McClure

Too many Sev Logos.

Mav

When they lose their cool, people get hurt.

Mark

Then I would have to clean up melted Breen.

Danielle

They're under the mistaken belief that its hot in space

D.Kacinski

They took 'Stay Cool' too literally.

D.Kacinski

Their entire species is sunburned.

Sixman

Because they don't want the audience to see that they're really Princess Leia

Tyler Volz

They're cheaper than makeovers.

dutchie

babylon 5 had a clearence sale!

Cayt

They spoil in the sun.

Cyber-Garfield

Would you want to clean up the mess after they melt?

Mark

There are actually 15 in there trying to get on board on 1 fare!

Bill Harris

They don't want to void their warranties.

Roy Gales

Did you ever see the shape of their heads ? They can't take their helmets off !!!

Martijn Takke

The thing has it's own mini-bar.

MindMelda

Room temperature Breen is really runny.

MindMelda

Breen is a dish best served cold.

Powerlord

Why don't you ever take off that fake head ridge?

Phiz

Ah, the pitfalls in being a dairy-based life form.

John Wells

They're auditioning for the new series of Power Rangers

DemOn

Cause Actors can't speak Breen

Bobby

Nah, they have this terrible fear of defrosting

Bobby

Suits, those are SUITS?

MindMelda

They're an entire race of Measley Cruncher clones! It's too horrible to bear!

jdwiseman

What I wonder is if the light stays on when the helmet is in place?

Deuce V

Air, cruise, CD... would you take them off?

Deuce V

They'd lose Handicap docking privileges

Mike Minks

Can you say bad hair day?

Siani

I don't know, but we have got to get one for you!

Siani

Look, i didn't want to say anything, but have you ever considered finding the shower units?

jdwiseman

Well...it's very slimming.

jdwiseman

They did once, and I nearly went deaf from the screams of "I'm melting! I'm MELTING!!!"

Potswilly

Duh. "Their very survival" comes to mind.

Potswilly

They think being anonymous is "cool".

Steve Jung

They stash ice cream in the helmet.

Potswilly

Their bodies turn liquid at room temperature.

Kyle247

They can't stand all of your hot air.

Gregory Griffiths

Because everyone would learn that they lied when they said they were cuter than Gaby Cook!

Cmdr. Solomon

Let me put it this way: They use "Klingon B.O." as deodorant.

TheKat

They're all afraid to show their true colours--neon pink and puke orange.

E-Nice

They like to make smug faces under their masks without us knowing.

E-Nice

They live longer if they're partially cryogenically frozen.

E-Nice

They're camera shy.

E-Nice

So no one can make racial slurs against their species, spoonhead.

E-Nice

Funny, he just asked why don't you wear one.

E-Nice

That's not a mask.

E-Nice

They like to just chill.

Harry Hazeel

Well you know what things look like if you leave them in the fridge too long.

athena

Warm air makes their hair frizzy.

La Big Show

They have this irritating Boba Fett-ish...

Jazzofborg

Somehow, furby-like creatures don't get the same respect.

matthewS

NO WAY! Have you ever seen a Jello mold when IT gets to room temperature.

BitterAndy

They forgot zippers.

matthewS

They did once...and now their body is stamped with "Refrigerate after opening."

Panza

Do you have a can opener handy?

Panza

With a nose like that, I don't think I want him to.

Admiral Leyton

Why don't you ever take off that Halloween mask?

Doug Wilson

Maybe they look normal, and are afraid they won't fit in.

Deuce V

They can't reach the zipper

Nodrog_CRC

Place some of Kneelick's old stew in a plastic container. Refrigerate for several thousand years. Viola, instant Breen.

Deuce V

4 hours to put it on, how often would you take it off?

Deuce V

Bad case of freezer burn

Nodrog_CRC

Your forehead... my ears... when the makeup artists got to the Breen, they were out of ideas.

Mark

Then, we'd all have to smell them.

edward

It keeps them looking young

DRobb

Sadly, they never developed can opener technology.

T'Rowa

Because underneath them, they're really cute teddy bears.

T'Rowa

It makes them look more ominous.

Anonymous Psi Cop

Gee, do those *whoosh tinkle* sounds tip you off at all?

Dial "M" for Maul

Because we don't want to turn the air conditioning to "Hell Freezes Over"

Shlamko

They'll go bad.

jak

Well if you would stop putting the temperature at broil...

J

Refrigeration suite! I heard it was a tanning suite!

John Lang

They're a "Green Mean Breen Machine"

John A. Lang

They are one cool race of aliens....literally

ScottE Bemeup

They are not comfortable with their body image.

ScottE Bemeup

Much like Quirk's girdle, it's what holds them together.

Lonewolf

The Severation's the good, we're the bad, their the ugly

P. L. Heyes

You ever smell a warm Breen?

mgeoffrey

They would spoil

Briareos

The zipper is stuck

Cameron Mason

They would get an icy reception.

Lonewolf

Because the smell is as lethal as a phizzer on full power!

Lonewolf

Be glad they don't, although I'm not sure what would kill you first, the smell, or their appearance.

EnchanteR

he's way over his expiration date

littlestar

They'd defrost! Duh!

Lonewolf

Those aren't their suits. Not every race has grey reptilian skin you know.

Allan

Do you WANT them to loose their cool?

Allan

Then they wouldn't be so cool.

Allan

Because they're 4-inch midgets.

The Great Wizzard

Do you drink warm beer?

5618 (David)

Because inside they're just softies!

Joona Palaste

They are ashamed they don't have nose ridges, rippled foreheads or long ears.

8 of 12

What would a villain be without a secret?

JC

Can you imagine the B.O after a lifetime in that suit?

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