|Sev Trek: The Comic Strip|
The Breen. They're mysterious... They've never been seen... Do they conceal some dark secret? Or are they just a copy of Babylon 5's Vorlons? This strip reveals what's really going on under their refrigeration suits.
|These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by
Seeker. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.|
They're all agoraphobic.
Why do you never put wrinkle cream on?!?!
If it helps you, think of them as a walking bar-fridge.
It's questions like that one that convinced me we needed a new, and smarter, evil ally !!!
For the same reason why you should be wearing one - phew !!!!
They defrost once a year, or when they can't get their helmets on because of the ice buildup!
Don't you know what happens when you stick your tongue on cold metal...It STICKS!
They haven't heard of velco yet.
They're sealed for freshness.
They have really bad gas. It's for the best that they wear it.
We have Troi, Kira, Dux, Torres and Seven of Nine walking around on these Trek shows, and you want the BREEN to take off their suits??
For the same reason that they don't have any mirrors.
Because you NEVER serve Breen at room temperture
They're mutated ice cream.
Six-inch-tall aliens don't get much respect
They're even environmentally unfriendly
I've asked, but can you understand a thing they say?
The microwave suits didn't work too well.
007 of Nine
Haven't you ever heard of the Jolly Breen Giant?
I've never seen YOU take off that uniform.
because then they would be "has-breens"!!
As hot as your Carsalesman like it, I've been considering getting one myself.
Russell S. Boltz
... I think that they fight better when chilled.
The other worlds insisted. The Breen don't use anti-persperent.
Are you kidding? If they mumble that bad, how do you think they're gonna look????
And reveal that they are really a bunch of scantily clad women like in Sev Wars?
They are mandated by the Anti-B.O. Act of 2246
And you thought your face scared children...
We have bad hair days. They have bad body days.
*laughs* Obviously, you've never had Breen Fro-Yo.
Did you see the label on the back? "Guaranteed Fresh until 2034?"
Because warm 'n' cuddly ain't menacing - or cool.
It keeps them fresher longer.
What, you'd rather see them in a thong?
They are trying to keep up with the Velourons...
You are kidding.. right? and you wonder why you aren't in charge around here?
They haven't invented deodorant yet!
Given that phasers seem to be magically attracted to the Federation's enemies, wouldn't you wear a suit of armour?
I don't know, but maybe you should give one a try.
Babes go for the intergalactic man of mystery look.
Shhhh. That's for the next X-Generation movie plot.
So we can use 5 actors for 1000 "different" breen.
You ever see how much garlic they eat?
Let's just say the Breen were never know for their looks.
they use them to store food
Cos they look even uglier underneath!
Trust me, it beats their whining about the heat!
Beats me... I'd say they're spoiled already!
The Return of Fox Cutter
They'd lose those cooool shades.
The one technology they lack: zippers.
Remember what happened to the Klingoff's foreheads? It happened to their entire bodies
And I always wonder why YOU don't take your ugly mask off!
Yeah, I know. They do take the idea of being "cool" way too far.....
What, so we can have loads more silly make up?!
Well we dont want another load of American accented actors with funny ears now do we?!
Because they are not dressed underneath them!
If you two start stripping, I'm leaving!
Maybe they're all really fat, and those suits are really industrial-strength girdles.
Maybe the angelic beings of light will fly out?
Do ya think there's maybe just a little bald kid in there?
Acne like you wouldn't believe!
The Thing from Behind the Sofa
They're actually highly evolved fridge mould.
The Thing from Behind the Sofa
Because they've got your looks but better sense.
You ever seen a naked Breen?
They can't accept that they've gone out of style.
Because we can't afford decent masks.
It's the only way they can keep a straight face!
4ever grad student
I hear it holds a keg of beer
I dunno. I think it's the same reason that you sleep in your armor.
Hey, if YOU could look like Boba Fett for a day, would you take it off?
Have you smelt a Breen above 2 degrees?
Even their MOTHERS have a hard time loving what's underneath.....
Because they all look like Carrie Fisher.
It's just a 'Fett'-ish of theirs
Chicks think they look "Cool"
It takes too long to put them back on.
They lost the keys
I would, but there aren't any zips on this damn thing
It's easier to make action figures..
What, and us find out that they are human- except for some funny looking head makeup? Why ruin the suspense.
It's a robot suit...underneith they're all...ew!...squishy brain thingy!
It's cheaper to sew a suit than to apply make-up.
The mystery of what they *really* look like is a great way to get chicks.
have you ever smelt off milk
Would YOU take it off if you were half-human, half-aardvark?
They like the smell of their own farts.
Because there's a T.V. built into the helmet.
Can't you see this typical nose? They look like ALF from Melmac!
I don't know, but I bet ya 50 bars of latinum that I can have it off him by 2300 hours!
Shh! Princess Leia doesn't want to be seen moonlighting!
Breen there, done that!
The race creator was fired. Too many pointed ears.
Then they'd have to write dialogue for them.
Yeah, they think they're so cool.
What's so odd about that? I haven't changed my outfit in three seasons.
They'd lose their cool.
I never thaw one!
They'd feel un-fresh!
The little light would stay on.
Ever hear what happened to "Frosty?"
Troy H. Cheek
Then we wouldn't be able to use the same extra for all their guest appearances.
It's the latest trend from the homeworld.
They can only exist, floating in chilled beer.
They think they look "cool" in those things!
They're 90% Cheddar Cheese.
They're smuggling drugs.
Too many Sev Logos.
When they lose their cool, people get hurt.
Then I would have to clean up melted Breen.
They're under the mistaken belief that its hot in space
They took 'Stay Cool' too literally.
Their entire species is sunburned.
Because they don't want the audience to see that they're really Princess Leia
They're cheaper than makeovers.
babylon 5 had a clearence sale!
They spoil in the sun.
Would you want to clean up the mess after they melt?
There are actually 15 in there trying to get on board on 1 fare!
They don't want to void their warranties.
Did you ever see the shape of their heads ? They can't take their helmets off !!!
The thing has it's own mini-bar.
Room temperature Breen is really runny.
Breen is a dish best served cold.
Why don't you ever take off that fake head ridge?
Ah, the pitfalls in being a dairy-based life form.
They're auditioning for the new series of Power Rangers
Cause Actors can't speak Breen
Nah, they have this terrible fear of defrosting
Suits, those are SUITS?
They're an entire race of Measley Cruncher clones! It's too horrible to bear!
What I wonder is if the light stays on when the helmet is in place?
Air, cruise, CD... would you take them off?
They'd lose Handicap docking privileges
Can you say bad hair day?
I don't know, but we have got to get one for you!
Look, i didn't want to say anything, but have you ever considered finding the shower units?
Well...it's very slimming.
They did once, and I nearly went deaf from the screams of "I'm melting! I'm MELTING!!!"
Duh. "Their very survival" comes to mind.
They think being anonymous is "cool".
They stash ice cream in the helmet.
Their bodies turn liquid at room temperature.
They can't stand all of your hot air.
Because everyone would learn that they lied when they said they were cuter than Gaby Cook!
Let me put it this way: They use "Klingon B.O." as deodorant.
They're all afraid to show their true colours--neon pink and puke orange.
They like to make smug faces under their masks without us knowing.
They live longer if they're partially cryogenically frozen.
They're camera shy.
So no one can make racial slurs against their species, spoonhead.
Funny, he just asked why don't you wear one.
That's not a mask.
They like to just chill.
Well you know what things look like if you leave them in the fridge too long.
Warm air makes their hair frizzy.
La Big Show
They have this irritating Boba Fett-ish...
Somehow, furby-like creatures don't get the same respect.
NO WAY! Have you ever seen a Jello mold when IT gets to room temperature.
They forgot zippers.
They did once...and now their body is stamped with "Refrigerate after opening."
Do you have a can opener handy?
With a nose like that, I don't think I want him to.
Why don't you ever take off that Halloween mask?
Maybe they look normal, and are afraid they won't fit in.
They can't reach the zipper
Place some of Kneelick's old stew in a plastic container. Refrigerate for several thousand years. Viola, instant Breen.
4 hours to put it on, how often would you take it off?
Bad case of freezer burn
Your forehead... my ears... when the makeup artists got to the Breen, they were out of ideas.
Then, we'd all have to smell them.
It keeps them looking young
Sadly, they never developed can opener technology.
Because underneath them, they're really cute teddy bears.
It makes them look more ominous.
Anonymous Psi Cop
Gee, do those *whoosh tinkle* sounds tip you off at all?
Dial "M" for Maul
Because we don't want to turn the air conditioning to "Hell Freezes Over"
They'll go bad.
Well if you would stop putting the temperature at broil...
Refrigeration suite! I heard it was a tanning suite!
They're a "Green Mean Breen Machine"
John A. Lang
They are one cool race of aliens....literally
They are not comfortable with their body image.
Much like Quirk's girdle, it's what holds them together.
The Severation's the good, we're the bad, their the ugly
P. L. Heyes
You ever smell a warm Breen?
They would spoil
The zipper is stuck
They would get an icy reception.
Because the smell is as lethal as a phizzer on full power!
Be glad they don't, although I'm not sure what would kill you first, the smell, or their appearance.
he's way over his expiration date
They'd defrost! Duh!
Those aren't their suits. Not every race has grey reptilian skin you know.
Do you WANT them to loose their cool?
Then they wouldn't be so cool.
Because they're 4-inch midgets.
The Great Wizzard
Do you drink warm beer?
Because inside they're just softies!
They are ashamed they don't have nose ridges, rippled foreheads or long ears.
8 of 12
What would a villain be without a secret?
Can you imagine the B.O after a lifetime in that suit?
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