|Sev Trek: The Comic Strip|
Cue harrassing the Enterforaprize. Of all the ships in Sev Fleet (or the universe for that matter), why does the omnipotent Cue choose to keep harrassing the Enterforaprize? Well, we all know it's because the only ship around that has a camera crew (apart from Forager but he hassles them too)!
|Other Punchlines||These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition. This week's winning punchline was written by ThePenguin Weekly. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.|
I'm not going to leave you alone until I get a movie role!
Your head is a cosmic light, and I am the bug.
Didn't Starfleet tell you? All starships are now equipped with annoying omnipotent beings!
Because everyone knows this crew can't act without frequent Cues!!!
First tell me why you keep appearing in Crusher's room.
Hey, even a Cue has to get out of the house once in a while.
It's an ego match-up. And mine IS bigger than yours!
Don't worry, I've been bothering Schidzo and Gainweight too!
An imortal being has to go somewhere for some fun.
I'm the only thing apart from your lack of hair that makes Beta Laugh!
I wanna hear Beta's lifeforms song.
Kaffeine, my dear Kaffeine. Opps... wrong ship
Your ship! Damn I took a wrong turn.
I know all the scripts. I pop by for the interesting ones.
I keep thinking I've found the brightest star in the galaxy. But it's just the light shining off your head.
I came to give Barf his monthly de-fleaing
For one thing,you don't pack a punck like Sisko does...
Jean-Luc, the more you hate me, the more you love me
Is tea hot?
It's the gravitational pull of that planetoid you call a head.
Schitzo is dangerous and Gainweight...Gainweight, bye! I'm off to Voyager!
I got tired of picking on beings my own size
I cannot allow pricey space battles.
You haven't tasted either Quark's drinks or Neelix' food..have you!?
Your ship? Nonsense! A galaxy class sevship in one of MY galaxies is MY ship!
The Walking Star Trek Encyclopedia
Do you know what they do to me on the OTHER ships?!
I thought a good diplomatic talk could help me sleep
You punch like a girl, that's why.
Is that my cue to leave?
You would prefer another Measley Cruncher plot?
I'm omnipotent, all-knowing all-seeing...do you KNOW how BORING that gets!
Your sense of fashion is even more pathetic than mine.
Hey, be greatful - I'm the only continuity you've got!
Why else? It's the most annoying crew in the galaxy!
Oh please, I fit right in here!
I'm your punishment in the afterlife but I just can't wait!
Captain, I came to have a baby with you. Oh, wait! This isn't Forager!
I lost my Keys to the cue continium.
Dunno, but if Tryhard's at the helm you can bet I'll be leaving soon
My doctor told me I needed to laugh more...
YOUR ship? Funny, what's it doing in my toy box then?
I'm here to accompany Beta's Lifeform song.
Had to see Tryhard's newest costume.
you mean there are OTHER ships?!
For all my omnipotence, I still can't find a date Friday night.
It's some half-hearted stab at continuity.
whats the point of a new outfit if ya can't show it off
Being omnipotent doesn't mean I'm smart.
To prove to you that the smartest ones not only have lousy dress sence, but also, poor timing.
Just keeping an eye on my pets.
It's Finals week again at Cue U, and you're my lab experiment.
What's the point of being omnipotent if I have to explain myself to everyone?
Guano and I often trade hats.
Omnipotent is as omnipotent does.
You just don't get it, do you? My contract never ends!
You just talk me off your ship. Gainweight pushes.
I am Bored, you will be acCUEmulated
The other Cue dare me to.
Your puny human brain couldn't comprehend the reason. In other words, I don't know either.
Its me or the Bored- take your pick.
Just felt like making fun of Barf.
I need to know...does my head look big in this?
Your'e always En Route to wherever i'm going.
I'm trying for the prize, it does say Enterforaprize
Iīm collecting warp miles!
To inject some color in your dreary life!
To watch another all-knowing being in action!
For the intellectual repartee!
It's this or character building episodes.
Just checking in on my son, Measly.
We're color coordinated.
You make one liners ever so easy!
Just for that, now I'll introduce you to someone worse than the Bored!
I like playing with all of my toys.
Not my choice. What I really want to do is direct.
I am the Cue, I'm the one who should ask the questions!
I must complete Barf's house training
I've tried appearing at your home, but your never there
Pickhard, why must you keep appearing in my Space-Time continuum.
Simple, I have a membership of the Subplot-continuum.
I really want to play Radio City Music hall but I've gotta start somewhere!
Here I am at least superieure.
Haven't you figured it out yet, Pickhard? There's a four week cycle. Week One you encounter a temporal anomaly. Week Two you try to negotiate a peace treaty between two bumpy headed alien races------but fail. Week Three somebody on board catches a space virus. And in Week Four I show up. But if you prefer the virus, I can just give you all a virus that will turn you into Denebian kangaroos.
This is the one with the TV cameras.
I have to put something in my "bad guy" resume...
I'll keep coming back until you put me in a movie!
So that they'll put my name in the credits someday ...
We Cue's generally refer to it as 'plot hole'.
Ratings, Pickhard, it's all about ratings.
Well, I was going to fix your exploding consoles and save some of your expendible ensigns, but if youre going to be rude...
Nobody noticed me on the USS Quirk's Ego.
You should be nice to me, I could do terrible things otherwise. Remember that time I installed Windows 98 on all of your computers?
Please! If it weren't for me, you would have run out of redshirts last season.
C'mon, all I did was get measley stabbed, introduced the federation to the bored and nearly gotten all of you killed by the evil sheriff of naughtingham and this is the warm welcome I get?
An even better question would be why I am wearing a silly hat and a red cape. Someone from the continuum must be playing a practical joke on me.
I'm terrified of Quirk
To keep you from becomming Bored again, mon Capitain!
"Jurrasic Trek" went off the air in 1969...can't show up there!
Omnipitance is boring, even more so than you.
It's my rheumatism... cannot snap my finger properly since I was 2300...
You still have a few hairs that haven't turned grey yet.....
Unlike you, I boldly go where I've already been.
I haven't succeeded in making steam come out of your head yet.
Well, ex-CUE-es me!
Why do YOU keep trespassing on MY space?Which is just about all the galaxies in the universe....
When you dress like this, you need all the friends you can get.
I just HAD to show off these smashing tights I just got...
No, mon Capitan, why do you keep appearing around me!?
Oooh! The brave captain Picard; to boldly ask what he has asked a thousand times before.
Don't be so Q-rious, Jean-Luc.
Because in all the Universe you are the closest thing I have to a friend, Jean-Luc.
Because Beta is the only one with less personality than me.
You're the only ones who don't mock my outfit
If I appeared on another ship, I wouldn't be on TV!
Trading Shakespeare quotes with you classes up the show!
If I get enough frequent flyer miles, I get my own galaxy!
My moto is to Baldly annoy like no one has annoyed before.
I enjoy the sound of little blood vessels burst in your head
Why isn't your accent french? We all have our little secrets
Who cares, I'm ready for my close up
The continuum bus service is appaling
You don't hit
I'm Cue, you're Cue-ball.
Just to show you there is someone out there who can grin more smugly than Piker.
You keep leaving the door open!
You punch like a GIRL!
A god should visit his worshipers now and again.
And here I thought you were following me!
YOU never hit me!
I like wearing funny jumpsuits...
Hey, I just wanted to borrow a cup of antimatter!
I'm kinda like Queen Amidala... I need to show off my new outfit of the day!
Have you read one of your scripts lately? You need me.
Someone has to keep your hair from growing, Pikkard!
Well SOMEBODY has to move the plot!!
Well! just becuase i'm onmipotent doesn't mean i dont get bored!
I'm trying to earn my "annoyance" badge
That's beyond your limited comprehension
mouse - Jefferies tube 32
I don't know - I must need counselling
I'd go back to DS9, but I might get hurt.
mouse - Jefferies tube 32
The director keeps on shouting Cue camera!
Your counsellor dresses like that, and you HAVE to ask?
No one makes a cup of Earl Grey quite like you, Pickhard.
the glare from your head is hard to miss
We drew cosmic strings in the Q Continuum and I lost!
I ought to boldly go... Anywhere I'm not welcomed!
I just say 'I want to go to a place where continuity is ignorred', and here I am!
I had to show you my outfit. Can you belive K-Mart were almost giving these away?
After Forager got 10/10, they didnt need me...
It's like Alladin..You tug your shirt, and I appear.
Everybody else thinks I'm funny, not annoying.
Nobody else winds up so well...
It's nice to see someone with worse dress-sense than me.
The REAL Catherine Jane(way)
To steal Guano's hat!
Your ship is the closest place I get to feeling welcome!
I have always been here...
All shows need a masked villan
To show you my hats.. It's great for covering MY bald spots.
I have no life
Places to go, Pickhards to annoy.
You had a better personality when you were a drone.
Ask me one more stupid question and I'll snap you back to the Big Bang so fast, it'll make your head spin.
Haven't you noticed my quarters on Deck 10?
What??? Willing *still* hasn't replace you?
Is that camera on me?
Well, everyone's got to have a hobby.
This is the only ship where the uniforms don't clash with this outfit!
I'm here to use up the rest of the Special Effects budget.
My wife still thinks I'm out in the Deltoid Quadrant.
Supreme cosmic powers are no fun without a Sevfleet captain to annoy.
i usually annoy barf but hes at deep sev 9 and last time i was there schidzo hit me.
The Cue has grown very fond of you Pickhard,.. mainly because all the other Sevfleet captains know how to get rid of us.
To stop your incessant why questions.
I have your transporter on speed dial.
This show needs at least ONE decent actor!
You try keeping uyourself amused when you live for eternity!
You provide wonderful material for the Que Continum's Funniest Home Videos.
Because I work best in front of a camera and you're the only ship with one.
It's been ages since I've gotten anyone this ticked off!
Cue's just wanna have fun!!!
En-Route, I am your FATHER.
I keep thinking that if I hear just one more of your neverending monologues, I'll become a GOOD person.
Where else could I dress like this and not get beaten up?
I need to show off whenever I get some cool new duds.
I am tring to see which famous sev.fleet captain has the most patience you, or gainweight!
The more times you Enter-For-A-Prize, the higher chance you have of winning.
I come to make fashion statments.
Don't blow a gasket, Pickhard!
It's always nice to find someone who actually understands when I speak French
Omnipotent power, limited imagination...
I knew it, you can't stand it that i tug my shirt too
Sisko punched me, Gainweight won't sleap with me, and Gym Quark keeps trying to teach me 'This earth thing called kissing'. Face it, this is the only place left I can still have fun.
The Cue continuum doesn't have counselors in tight jumpsuits.
I like to look at myself... and your head doubles as a mirror.
Damnit, Jean-Luc! I'm an omnipotent superbeing, not a writer!
As if my superior Shakespearean acting capabilities belong anywhere else...
I'm doing a comedy series for the bored Cues in the Continuum.
I am Cue! I am everywhere!
Your 'boldly going' saves me on busfare.
Dial "M" for Maul
What, afraid I'll blow the special effects budget and they won't get you more hair?
Dial "M" for Maul
Hey, I just dropped by! I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition. Hmmmm. Now there's an idea...
the girl from ipanema
I'm Cue and your head looks pretty much like a cue ball.
the girl from ipanema
You have the most interesting crew: a machine that wants to be human, a frechman with a british accent...
The Great Wizzard
It's the gravitational pull of Guano's headwear. Even I can't escape it!
Why must you keep steering your ship into my personal space?
*sigh* You're so cute when that vein on top of your head starts throbbing!
Actually, I'm staying in the same spot and rearranging the universe so you keep running into me.
It's the only ship in the fleet large enough for my entire ego!
Because the Bad Penny theory makes cents...
James House - Lantto
Because even I must sometimes answer to a higher power Jean Luc (I hate script writers)
To show off my extensive wardrobe of course!
Is that the best question you can ask an omnipotent being with a silly outfit?
Why must you always whine about it when I do?
You're too stubborn to come looking for me.
Softest toilet paper in the universe.
Why do cats play with mice ?
What can I say, I open a plot hole, walk through and I end up here!
'Cause when I'm here, I get to wear this dress.
The Great Wizzard
Your bald spot even shines in our continuum!
The Great Wizzard
Don't you see it, mon capitan? We're meant for each other!
I canīt leave you cueless!
Because appearing OUTSIDE it would be just playing silly.
I won't lie, I love you En Route.
Now that Measley is gone, someone had to fill the annoying quotient.
Would you believe that I'm your Guardian Omnipotent being?
I came to compete against Guano in the stupid hat contest!
I have no cue.
Nobody takes their "Cue" from me like you do! Ba dum bump!...hmph, tough room...
I come for the annoyed looks, but I stay for the PC lessons!
You stab measely with a bayonett and see how popular YOU become!!
Some other Cue keeps crank calling and saying you're got a warped core breach!
I keep getting asked back after I got Measely bayonetted
Cuz' I'm always "On Cue" Get it?
omnipitence isn't so great unless you can continuously annoy someone with it
Gevskot (yes, I'm back)
You don't know!? I'm here for my date with Tryhard...
I'm here to provide a plausible reason for a ridiculous storyline
I love the sound of "mon capitain" so...
Why must you be so linear, Pickhard?
Without me you would be c(l)ueless.
It would be so dull otherwise.
Pickhard, you're my favourite pet.
My son wants a pet so I'm just browsing.
It's the only way I'm going to get full value out of my batman costume
All the other captains are mean to me.
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