This week's idea was suggested on the Ideas Board by David Robb.		Sev Trek: The Comic Strip Kneelick's concoctions. It's surprising that after 169 Sev Trek comic strips, I haven't done a cartoon directly about Kneelick's infamous cooking yet. Time to finally address the situation!
		Other Punchlines
		These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition. This week's winning punchline was written by 8 of 12. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.
Ianna		I think it's name is Macula.
Yankee Kiwi		Don't recall seeing it before, but I do remember stepping in something similar......
Anubis		I don't know, go fetch the implausable translator so we can ask it!
Polson		We'll know when the autopsy comes back.
Gravitational Electromagnetic Neutrino		Well...the ship's toliet system is interlinked with the replicators.
Russell Christiansen		A frog in a blender!!!
Paulyboy		It's Severation Surprise -- it goes right through on first contact.
sess-pity		Cuss-Cuss with lt. Curry sauce.
Yorgi		He IS the morale officer, everything after this seems like its not so bad
Yorgi		Something to remind us that there are worse things than being 50 years away from home.
Sam Peirce		Looks like the remnants of a bio-neural Sev pack!
Avenger CO		The antidote for living.
Mark		Something you'll see again in a half hour.
Mark		Now I know why Gainweight never gains weight!
Zeus		dunno, but i've heard it makes you fly!
jo ho		it's food, chin, but not as we know it
LadyGrey		I'm not sure but it bears a striking resembelance to the tunic he was wearing yesterday
peter		I think I'm about to boldly go where no one has gone before....the washroom!
mouse - Jefferies tube 32		I Don't know but it looks PC - Pretty Corrosive!
mouse - Jefferies tube 32		I think we should have stayed in that parallel universe last week!
Caillan		Cuss-tard
matthew swords		I dont know but bel'lana says i gets the warp engines up to 300% efficiency {warp 30}
Tyrrogan		I'm not sure - I guess the health inspector doesn't get out here all that often.
Paulyboy		Harvested Lung Stew
EnabranMek		Be happy! It's eye of newt tomorrow!
Russell Christiansen		Wait, we had this 47 times. Someones using the reset button!!!
Margaret		Well, one thing's for sure: if we encounter any Talaxian hitch-hikers, I'm not stopping!
Margaret		Hairy, just be thankful you don't have to sample Bologna's Klingon delicacies as well!
Russell Christiansen		Keep complaining Hairy and you will not get promoted!!!
Russell Christiansen		From all his filth, I wonder if Neelix even has taste buds and a sense of smell!!!
Finite		You know that stuff we cleaned out of the power cuplinks?..
John Guenther		Fortunatly, sickbay is only 4 decks down.
Russell Christiansen		All his bad recipes combined!!
Kenyar Jad		What happens when you can't find those hidden restrooms.
Iva		well, it looks like we wont be seeing that wildman girl anymore...
Kristina		This is food? I've been using it to clean the Deltoid Flunker!
EofS		Should be harmless, looks like we've had it before
EofS		I think it's last week's `Alien of the Week'
Sjerrie		The captain finally decided to change her hairstyle. This is where the extra gelpacks go now.
Russell Christiansen		I don't know, but he cooked it off of an exploding console!!!
Thutmos3		I'm a pilot, not a chemist, Chin!
Jazzier Fax		A get out of your duty shift free card!
Madmartigan		Dunno. But I hear waste management is out of storage space.
Morgan		Just some splatted space bugs he scraped off the hull.
Russell Christiansen		He's just making us eat this stuff so he could have all the replicator rations to himself!!!
Russell Christiansen		Vidiian liver and onions!!!
mouse - Jefferies tube 32		Today is a good day to skip lunch!
mouse - Jefferies tube 32		Please Sir, Can I have NO more!!!
mouse - Jefferies tube 32		Computer - end lunch!
mouse - Jefferies tube 32		Subplot strogonoff!
Yorgi		Emotion soup, it changes colour according to how you feel, and I AM feeling pretty green right now.
Paulyboy		He calls it Kneelicks Nuggets...and I don't want to ask.
Spockman77		I don't know.Lets make an ensign taste some first!
Madness		I think he mistook his dirty laundry for the groceries!
KaC		S.L.O.P: Saturated Left-Over Plasma.
Jen the jumping quean II		All I know is that its named after the noise it makes.
Brian Austin		I don't know and I don't care, as long as it's not Spam.
anonymous		Would knowing make it any easier to eat?
Cpt Thomas		Let's cut the middle man and go straight to sickbay
Chris Needham		It's gel-pack pudding! This would go great with a playfully radioactive warp plasma port, vintage stardate 4588.3!
Frogboy Lives		Hairy, don't ask, ignorance is bliss.
Blake		Dunno! The Doc took some to run tests on it and Ten said it was "unworthy of assimilation"!
M		he's calling it the delta flyer on account of how quick you need to get to the toilet
Rug Man		Well, I think I know what he did with Cuss' lung!
Ronald TheChimp		With ears like that you have to get rid of the wax somehow!
MindMelda		I'm thinking of making a pet out of mine!
coffeecat		I think it's "I can't believe it's not leola root" stew!
Wendee Rae		Well, he's gone from boosting moral to mortality rates.
Wendee Rae		I don't want to seek out new life while I'm eating.
Russell Christiansen		I think we should facilitate a second sickbay facility in the mess hall!!!
Mats-Trek		He said it was a treat, but i think he meant threat
Russell Christiansen		He didn't get the honor of being "Deltoid Quadrant's Worst Chef" 47 times for nothing, you know!!!!
Russell Christiansen		100% Grade "F" Talaxian Gruel
sevneck		It's a character building episode,"The Food That Time Forgot!"
Matthew Stapleton		I don't know, but I think someone's matter stream was redirected to Kneelicks food replicator
Zeus		What HASN'T he got for us this week?
Brian		I dunno, but if this ship ran on methane, we'd be home in a week!
Kurt		It's life, but not as we know it.
Kurt		Now I understand that "Enjoy your meal" is an order.
Kurt		I think it's called slop with a vengeance.
Dial "M" For Maul (And thanks to everyone who suggested "Green Eggs and Spam!")		I would not eat it in a bowl > I would not eat it on a console > I would not eat it wearing socks > I would not eat it with Twoblocks > I could not would not in this junker > I could not would not in the Deltoid Flunker > I could not stomach it in Sickbay > I could not stomach it with Chocolatay > I do not this Soilent Culinary Sin > I do not like it Chiny Chin Chin!
Russell Christiansen		He still has a grudge on me for liking Cuss!!
Russell Christiansen		Remind me to take a medical pack next time we're here!!!
Venom		didn't you ever see what happens after he cleans his ears?
ScottE Bemeup		When in doubt, spit it out.
Mystic Orangutan		I think it contains his Mystery Meat.
Yorgi		It's incentive to encourage us to work harder to get home for some decent food
John Fallon		Don't know, my toycorder melted !
Yorgi		My tastebuds died a while ago, it all tastes the same to me
Yorgi		Don't spill it, we don't want a hull breech!!
Yorgi		You don't have to swallow this stuff, it crawls down your throat
Yorgi		Not so much what he's got for us, but how bad he has it in for us
Steve		Eeew! Happycampa stew!
Plain Simple		Something to make your hunger disappear. Before eating it.
Bath'leth		All the stuff we didn't eat last week
Polgara		Whatever it is, it's activated my universal translator.
Paul Inglis		Soylent Breen
Russell Christiansen		I think we need an Emergency Chef Hologram here!!!
the little red caboose		With any luck, a stomach pump!
the little red caboose		Just shut your eyes repeat "it tastes like chicken"
NoRtHCoAsT		Last weeks breakfast, lunch and dinner combo.
Ensign Expendable		Don't ask, just set your phaser on 'flambe' in case it moves.
Johnathan McClure		He calls it "Talaxian Surprise Spew- er, Stew"
Johnathan McClure		If you have to ask, you can't digest it.
RealmMan		"Soylent" something-or-other.
Russell Christiansen		Gainweight doesn't know either. She's gonna promote whoever finds out!!!
Mandy		Call the doctor, he's about to have another of Kneelicks food epidemics!
Mandy		I dunno, but I'm sure the Doc's seen a lot of it
HirogenHunter		I promise you, the next time Kneelicks pulls a stunt like this, we'll have boiled Talaxative!
TW		Ensign and Trubble stew with Leola root sauce and crispy console bits.
Wei-Hwa		Something even Ten would have trouble assimilating.
Callisto		Don't ask me, I just reinforce the hull with it.
Qwock		Now I know why the messhall is so empty
Qwock		Remember the alien we lost last week. I think we found it.
Zatharus		McTribbles
Steve		Computer, perform bio-hazard scan.
Thutmos3		Hydrogen Helium Lithium Beryllium Boron Carbonite, Nitrogen Oxygen Fluoride, Neon Sodium Magnesium Aluminum Silicon Phosphorus Sulfur Chloride, Argon Potassium Calcium, Scandium, Titanium, Vanadium, Chromium, Manganese, Iron, Cobalt, Nickel, Copper, Zinc, Gallium, Germanium, Arsenic Selenium Bromide, Krypton, Rubidium, Strontium, Yttrium, Zirconium, Niobium, Molybdenium, Technetium, Ruthenium, Rhodium, Palladium, Silver, Cadmium, Indium, Tin, Antimony Tellurium Iodide, Xenon, Cesium, Barium, Lanthanium, Cerium, Praseodymium, Neodymium, Promethium, Samarium, Europium, Gadolinium, Terbium, Dysprosium, Holmium, Erbium, Thulium, Ytterbium, Lutetium, Hafnium, Tantalium, Tungsten, Rhenium, Osmium, Iridium, Platinum, Gold, Mercury, Thallium, Lead, Bismuth, Polonium Astatide, Radon, Francium, Radium, Actinium, Thorium, Protactinium, Uranium, Neptunium, Plutonium, Americium, Curium, Berkelium, Californium, Einsteinium, Fermium, Mendelevium, Nobelium, Lawrencium and Green 47. In other words, everything!
Dial "M" for Maul		What happens when a bug hits the viewscreen at Warped 9
Dial "M" for Maul		Dunno, but you'd better eat it before it gets to the top of the food chain!
Mats-Trek		It's one of the new SEV Fleet meals, the PC Digestive
Matt FalconKnight		Didn't you hear it?! It identified itself as "slop"
peter		We have a fungi woman on board who chews our food for us before it gets served.
Cam Kat		I told you not to Kill crewman Superfluous.
JeffQuest		It doesn't really matter. Just use a lot of Ketchup
JeffQuest		It's either radioactive waste from the worp core or... Chicken
Thutmos3		Where is a periodic table when you need one?
Brian		I guess this is why Gainweight lives on coffee!
Brian		I dunno, but it's predigested, as usual.
Dial "M" for Maul		"Ever wonder why there aren't any tribbles on this show"
Dial "M" for Maul		"Sesspit Stew"
Dial "M" for Maul		Soilent Green is made from Ensigns!
Paulyboy		I thought he said Coos-Coos, but it's actually Cuss Quiche!
Seeker		Looks like Que gave him some Primordial Soup.
Seeker		in the 20th century they called in "High School lunch"
8 of 12		Something he found scuttling across the cargo bay!
Quiddity		I don't know, but it just tried to make contact...
Michael Kraft		I think he calls it "Death by Talaxitive"
mouse - Jefferies tube 32		An away mission to the toilet!
mouse - Jefferies tube 32		Flatulence on a plate!
Warren Selden		I just wish I'd packed some sandwiches.
Corsair		Green eggs and ham. He's been reading Dr. Seuss again.
Nodrog_CRC		Open a window, Hairy, I think I'm going to be sick.
Nodrog_CRC		"Put him on bio-toxic waste disposal" you said. "He'll probably have a lot of great ideas for disposing of it" you said.
Eric Williams		I don't know but it's been cooking since series one
Yorgi		I'm hoping that its not in breach of the Prime Directive!
Yorgi		You've been so close to death so many times Hairy, I didn't think this would be a challenge for you
coffeecat		He's trying some Vidian recipees...
Heiwa		It's Leola Root Goulash, with deuterium. He calls it, "Sick Bay In a Minute".
Paulyboy		I'm worried...he calls it "Cusserole"
Paulyboy		I don't know, but for some reason he just called me "Ensign Stew"
Paulyboy		All he said was, "It's brain food"...
Paulyboy		Cream of Transploder Residue soup
Tyrrogan		Continuity - well, we weren't using it anyway
Tyrrogan		Slimy yet satisfying
Tyrrogan		I don't know, but eating it probably builds character - you'd better have mine as well.
Tyrrogan		Moral fibre
Jim McNamara		Remebers when we were cleaning the Jeffries tubes last week?
Wendee Rae		I think we'd better make our wills before we eat.
Wendee Rae		I'm not sure. You do know CPR, right?
Maria Spano		Awh! Not the No.47 Special again Kneelicks!!!
Cmdr. Solomon		Oh, Goody. It's slop this time. Last time it was 'Glop'.
Wendee Rae		Whatever it is, it has more hair than the doctor.
Wendee Rae		Let's not waste time and go to sickbay now.
Wendee Rae		I don't know, but I hope someone finds the bathrooms.
Wendee Rae		Last week's alien threat.
Danielle		The remnants of yesterdays gastroenteritis attack
MindMelda		Dunno, but today is a good day to diet!
TBone		I don't know. But I bet it beats his last invention, Hurl.
Babyslime		Theme week. This week's is "how inedible am I?"
ThePenguin Weekly		I think it's you from a parallel dimension.
ThePenguin Weekly		Poor Cus.
Samurai		Mmm, my favorite.....raw sewage.
Luigi Novi		Whatever it is, it makes Klingoff gag look appetizing by comparison.
peter		Whatever it is, Im almost certain that its at least a level 3 biohazard!
littlestar		It's leftovers from the leftovers of last week's leftover leftovers.
littlestar		I'm not sure, but I think mine's already been digested. Twice.
littlestar		It's Slop, from the Pits, in a special guest appearance.
littlestar		SEVLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!
D. Lerious		His famous green goop sufle'
Potswilly		I don't know, but he got it from planet Crapola-2.
Potswilly		Maybe the Doc can tell you, after my autopsy.
Luigi Novi		I don't know, but let's hope for a temporal anomaly or red alert right before we begin eating it.
evay		Never mind; just puree it with some carrots and Gaby will eat it.
evay		Why don't you just introduce yourself and ask it?
Luigi Novi		Maybe it's the 24th century equivalent of luncheon meat?
Jor (the Wizard of Sha-ka-ree)		Please tell me that's not a commbadge in there.
Luigi Novi		Maybe it's the 24th century equivalent of SPAM?
Jor (the Wizard of Sha-ka-ree)		Remember those defective gelpacks? Enjoy.
Republik		I think this could make Twoblock feel disgust.
Thomas Fisk		Left-over dilithium stew.
Quip		Well if we used it as fuel, we'd be home!
carol		I don't know, but whatever it is it's Recycled, Reused, and Redistributed.
Cpt Thomas		Computer, environmental hazard, deck 2, mess hall !
Raven		From the smell, I'd say one of Kirk's diapers.
E-Nice		Green eggs and ham.
E-Nice		Remember that ensign that didn't make it in the last episode...
E-Nice		His speciality. Alien earwax.
Jason		I believe it's a sevfleet uniform with leola root
Nick Cook		I dunno, but he was working in waste extraction this morning.
Lia Paxton		Kneelicks' macaroni casserole... "macroviraleola."
Paulyboy		Cream of Continuity soup
Kalahari Karl		Gee, is that a speck of a red shirt I see in there?
Ensign Danny		Even a bored won't assilmilate this !
Dave K		Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to choke and die
Ensign Danny		Now we boldy eat what no man ate before.....and survived it!
Sevanonymous		A clear path to the replicaterer if we're lucky
Sevanonymous		I don't know, but 20 questions won't be enough...
Republik		(correction) Well, we have pizza, spegetti and meat balls, fresh fruit and margeritas, oh wait, I'm dreaming. Hey kneelicks what is this stuff?
Shark8		"Let's use the matter from waste extraction to power the replicators!" You said.
Michael Gordon		Remember that stuff you stepped in on Snotus 9?
Mark		Be careful, it might grow on you!
Mark		Ensign surprise!
Sjerrie		Just don't be surprised if you find a communicator pin in here.
@lien		Why did I have to spent my replicator rations on flowers and juwellery for Bologna?
The Crazy Zonie		Abominal, Adominal Pains!
Shark8		I don't know.... It remindes me of that backed up solid wast extraction unit.... Oh no... It can't be!
@lien		It's very interesting... It looks the same before and after I eat it
Doggy Spew		A reason to get Bologna back to work on those Replicaterers.
Doggy Spew		A oneway trip to medical bay.
Becca		Naomis play-dough by the looks of it
Nathan		The same as last week, only a week older
Derek		I miss good old-fashioned gruel!
Trideos		I dunno, but as a fuel it's halved our journey!
Trideos		You're the one who pulled it out as "defective circuitry"!
Michael Kraft		Perhaps we should let Ensign Expendable try it first.
Natalie		At a guess - recyclable ensigns?
Dano Langevin		Mostly filler. Nothing unusual.
Dano Langevin		Hm...feline suppliment #24 again?
Dano Langevin		This week, last week...it's all the same biomatter.
Buckwheat		Back home we called it RoadKill!
MindMelda		One things for sure, it'll look the same coming up as it does going down!
Dacron		Ever scrubbed the warp coils? Looks like this.
Mouse - jefferies tube 32		He's got plenty left - that's a bad sign!
Mouse - jefferies tube 32		looks like Naiomi's been playing in the blender again!
Jo		Ask it yourself!
Bill Harris		I'm not sure, but I think I ran over it this morning.
Drevekenin		He probably just cooked Gainweights shampoo... Again.
Mouse - jefferies tube 32		Reheating is futile!
Mouse - jefferies tube 32		Brace for lunch!
Spiner		Looks like Phage stew.
Spiner		Let's feed some to Bologna's targ and find out!
Jason L		I dunno, Soilent Green Suprise just doesn't sound right...
Lonewolf		"If you close your eyes, it almost tastes like runny eggs.
Lonewolf		Kneelicks, when the captain said "serve up the guests", this isn't what she meant.
Lonewolf		Ever heard of road kill? This is space kill!
5618 (David)		Talaxative surprise!
Francis Miranda		Indigestion, Diarherria or Ulcers. Take your pick.
Francis Miranda		Something a lot worse than getting stuck in the delta quadrant.
Francis Miranda		Something John Cook will find a way to make into a merchandising gimmick.
Mouse - jefferies tube 32		For once I'm glad to have a double shift in sick bay!!
Shawn McNiel		The Klingoffs have gagh! Kneelicks has Blecch!!
Shawn McNiel		He calls it Soylent Green... with raisons.
Shawn McNiel		More importantly, I want to know... where's Cuss?
Shawn McNiel		I didn't even know that they had roadkill in space.
Shawn McNiel		He calls it spoo.
Mouse - Jefferies tube 32		Remember that stuff you stepped in on that planetoid last week!
Yorgi		The last planet we stopped at only grew lima beans
Republik		I don't know, but last week I used fifteen replicator rashions on antacid alone.
Yorgi		I don't know, but there's a reason why the doctor is on standby every meal time
Republik		looks like the alien race the captian got mad at.
Yorgi		It's pretty good this week, only stomach cramps and heartburn!
Republik		Hmm, looks like; Bio matter from plants from the airponics bay and Crewman Mahony's missing cat.
mgeoffrey		I don't know, but it won't let go of the spoon.
mgeoffrey		Something to keep us from outgrowing our uniforms.
Yorgi		Everything is recycled aboard this ship Hairy...............everything
The Great Wizzard		We're Ensigns. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger!
The Great Wizzard		Parasite to sickbay, it'll be a busy day for you, Doc!
Yorgi		Ahhhh, the mystery of the missing plasma packets solved!!
The Great Wizzard		Dunno. How about a... FOOD FIGHT!
Mouse - Jefferies tube 32		Tomb to Twoblocks - Containment field in the mess hall NOW!!
Mouse - Jefferies tube 32		Evasive manoeuvers - Quick!
Nodrog		I don't know whether I should use my fork or my phaser.
Nodrog		SLOP. Sev Life Obliterating Paste.
Corsair		I don't know, but I'm thinking...Back to the Replicaterers.
Nodrog		Something guranteed to put hair on your chin. Well, on my chin, at least.
8 of 12		Whatever he scraped off the hull last week!
8 of 12		I believe it's flubber.
8 of 12		According to Ten, species 2636
evay		"Plop plop, fizz fizz, I wonder what our dinner is?"
evay		Fried leola root with Mylanta sauce.
evay		Let's go eat in the Captain Probon program -- maybe in black and white this won't look so bad!
evay		Cream of Last Week.
8 of 12		The same as last month. It's back with a vengance!
Number 0		Looks like someone ate this before...
SFA		It looks like the Taxian equivalent of haggis.
Kurt		Well we can dim the lights but what do you do about the smell?
Mouse - jefferies tube 32		Set tastebuds on stun!!
Mouse - jefferies tube 32		You keep him talking while I replicate the pizza!!
Flashdancer		Dunno, but it smells like mashed socks with rhubarb!
Quiddity		Tutti-Frutti Alien Rooti
Mouse - jefferies tube 32		Slop Suey!!
Flashdancer		I think itīs massive heartburn!
Mouse - jefferies tube 32		A trip to sickbay!
Mouse - jefferies tube 32		I don't know - but it could do with a cloaking device!
Mouse - jefferies tube 32		I'll get 10 to scan it in Gastronomics!
Tyrrogan		An incentive for someone to finally find the toilets on this ship
Mouse - jefferies tube 32		Now I know why the Captain lives on coffee!!
Mouse - jefferies tube 32		Gabby goo!
Mouse - jefferies tube 32		looks like species 8472 again!
Mouse - jefferies tube 32		Can't tell until I make first contact!!
Mouse - jefferies tube 32		Chronic indigestion!
The Great Wizzard		Dunno but this must be the reason why our canteen is called "Mess Hall".
John Lang		"Slop"! the food that tastes like it sounds (TM)
John Lang		Cream of Yesterday!
The Great Wizzard		Not sure. You eat first while I monitor you with my medical toycorder.
Johnny Cool		I think it's Species 120
Glorendil		I don't know, but as long as the plate doesn't melt, it'll be better than last week...
Glorendil		A lovely weekend vacation in sickbay.
The Great Wizzard		Dunno. But I'll better get prepared for extended sickbay duty.
Polgara		I don't know but I think it has Ensign Expendable's eyes.
Polgara		I'm not sure. Which ensign did we lose this week?
Glorendil		Something to make us boldly puke, like no one has puked before.
Glorendil		Exactly what we had last week... only it's already digested.
Catherine Mclaren		I don't know but it looks like it is about to hop off the plate and squige off down the corridor
Shlamko		Monosodium Glutamate gruel.
Shlamko		Food colorings, emulsifiers, lactins, MSG.
Shlamko		We should have never gave him access to waist exctraction!
Shlamko		I'm afraid it the same as last week. I do do mean THE SAME.
Jim McNamara		scientists have yet to classify it.
Jim McNamara		Even Torrid couldn't handle it, and she's half Klingoff!
JIm Mcnamara		My tricorder can't register it.
Jim McNamara		Tribbles La'orange
Jim McNamara		Nothing a few replicator rations couldn't fix.
Jim McNamara		The culinary equivalent of a warp-core breach.
§Sean§		You know I never did find out what happened to Ensigh Expendable
mattliz		100% grade "A" Sevfleet gruel.
JC		When it stops squealing, I'll let you know.

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