Hosted by HashSev Wide WebIndexToon ZoneWeb ZoneDTP ZoneSev ShopWhat's New









Click here to publish this Competition on your siteClick here to publish this cartoon in your newsletterClick here to buy this comic strip


This week's idea was suggested on the Ideas Board by Muffy.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

Ten researching relationships. To be honest, the original idea for this strip had Bologna asking "how do you know when we're having intimate relations?" I drew it months ago but couldn't think of how to use it without getting 99% lewd/crude punchlines. Then Wendy suggested we reword the question, hence this week's strip :-)


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition. This week's winning punchline was written by ScottE Bemeup. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.


SPYE

I've been put on console cleaning detail.

Sevanonymous

I accidentally downloaded the Doctor's stalking subroutines.

Three-of-Seven

I'm upset, you mistook my alcove for a console!

Morgan

Learning to dominate the male crew, you are the most efficient.

Yorgi

Why do the male crew members look at your face when they are talking to you?

Quetzkotl

I need a woman's opinion. Does this catsuit make me look fat?

the little red caboose

I got a report that a console was malfunctioning

Powerlord

I'm investigating the recent wave of nausea on the crew... You happen to be the source.

B

To ensure neither of you engage in irrevelant activities.

TaZ

Naomi says it is your turn to be 'it'

Paulyboy

This is the first story not featuring me--I miss the attention!

the little red caboose

the console's been complaining

Leon

I heard Tomb's biological distinctiveness was to be added to your own!

Polgara

The Doctor wants me to study humour and your relationship is the funniest thing on Forager.

Sevanonymous

It is the Doctor's 17th lesson; stalking for amusement.

Polgara

I'm correlating your movements with console wear.

RPB

The concentration of hormones is creating a plot hole. I'm here to fill it with technobabble

Doggy Spew

Hey, itīs a small space-time continuum.

eric zuiderduin

I am Bored - you WILL be irritated

Standback

Operating at 142% efficiency leaves me a lot of spare time.

Roget

No, you must have mistaken me for some other hot, blond Bored in a skin-tight suit...

Roget

Would you like to buy some chocolates for the Bored Scouts?

Tyrrogan

After weeks of careful tracking, the female has noticed my approach. The next few minutes could be critical.

Susan

I seek answers to my mating ritual inquiries. Flirting will now commence.

Stephen Yang

I'm not following...I'm powerwalking my way down to a size 3!

Klau'HaQ

I speak on behalf of the whole crew when I say : GET A ROOM!

Kalahari Karl

I need to learn how to give Hairy the ol' back-handed rejection slap...

John Lang

I'm not...I'm doing some brisk walking so my paint dries

Rob Simpson

Actually you're following me - it's a time distortion thing!

coffeecat

It was either that or listen to Hairy play the clarinet.

Brian K.

Kneelicks wishes to improve ratings for his current events programming.

Dacron

The Doctor told me to study some negative examples of humanoid romance.

Siani

Look, do you want to be in a scene or not?

Siani

I was assigned to ratings repair. I thought I could do the most good here.

C-rine

I can learn about relationships from either you or that neurotic hologram with an awful bedside manner. Is it really a choice?

Tomathy

I'm now in charge of enforcing the PG directive

Shlamko

My tricorder was showing unusually high amounts of lewd particles in this sector.

Paulyboy

Your overproduction of endorphins is creating an imbalance in the ship's atmosphere.

Johnathan McClure

I have come to remove a parasite from you.

Kenyar Jad

Trying to erect a farcefield between you two. But you keep moving.

lechim

And why are YOU preceding my every moves?

J.J.

You can see me? My catsuit is barely visible!

Quip

Do I LOOK like someone who values privacy?

MindMelda

I'm looking for love in all the wrong places.

CyBeRsWiNe

The Captain had instructed me to tell you your relationships is to be supended until further notice, you two are risking the structural integrity of the ship.

RealmMan

My contract requires me to be in every scene.

Acid Warlord

Using me as a background seems to attract more viewers..

Dacron

Naomi won't follow me here - she thinks kissing is 'icky.'

Mr. Shadow

Reaserch compleat. It takes humanoid femails 6 minutes to ask why they are being followed.

Jane Garland

I'm scaning the mess hall for anything unsavory.

The Boss

I have my toycorder set to set to sappyness and you two seem to be a constant source.

Jane Garland

Recapturing my childhood, Naivite style.

Puke

The Doctor insists that I learn how to bicker.

peter

The captain sent me here to remind you that this is a family show.

scott

following you? Im even suprised tomb follows you.

peter

The doctor detected that blood pressure in this section was way above normal. He sent me to check it out.

Kat

Didn't you hear I'm the Captains eyes and ears!

coffeecat

You are my sunshine!

Kat

Your Relationship is ineficent.

jdwiseman

The writers want to get me in every scene possible.

jdwiseman

I have a message from the Captain....."Stop it".

Corsair (I've totally drawn a blank on this one)

My Toycorder indicates Crude & Lewd.

Cpt Thomas

Ten to bridge - character building scene succesfully avoided

Cpt Thomas

Romance is irrelevant - I am the babe

Night's Master

I seek to learn more about pointless relationships

spiffy

Your communicator has been "on" for 24 hours. Turn it off.

Cordavin Lon

I've been assigned to prevent Lieutenant Parasite from procreating.

Berlinghoff Rassmussen

The captain figured after that little console incident you two needed a chaperone

Quip

I think I've found the source of exploding consoles.

Susan

How is it that you always seem to be walking in the space I happen to be studying?

Wendee Rae

I require batteries for my gameboy.

Wendee Rae

I have a formal complaint from the occupants of deck six.

Tyrrogan

I need you to adjust my optical implant so I can find out what it is you actually see in that parasite.

Tyrrogan

I'm trying to figure out why the fire alarms go off whenever the two of you walk into a room

Tyrrogan

So THAT'S why the consoles explode!

Tyrrogan

One of the engineering consoles filed for a restraining order. I'm investigating.

Klingers

I have been taking annoyance lessons from Naomi Wildman.

32

It was either this, or date Ensign Chin. Hardly a difficult decision.

Kevin Watts

I am attempting to learn how to gossip

spacegal88

So I can pick up some tips for Harry and I

Venom

I'm the only reason people don't get nausia right now

Thomas Redfern

I felt you needed some screen time.

Andrew Dullege

What? Could you see my breast around the corner?

E-Nice

Talk to the tricorder.

TheKat

The captian assigned me as your chaperone. The last time you made out on the consoles you changed all the replicators to produce only decaf.

Dr.Z

That is irrelevant, prepair to be studied, your technolo...uh...well, just your biological distinctiveness will be added to my notes!

Kat

I'm waiting for our fight scene.

Kat

I need information on human rituals.

Seeker

Smile, you're on "Candid Holodeck!"

Agent-D

I'm doing the gossip coloum on the new look "Brieffing with Kneelicks"

Sophie

Elementary, my dear Bologna, elementary.

Mark

I am measuring your inefficiencies at love.

Mark

Its an experiment on love. You've failed!

@lien

I heard people saying you are ... kissing... I just wanted to see it with my own eyes!

MindMelda

You may proceed with the "Intimate Relations".

The Crazy Zonie

The Captain wants a report on commpanel usage.

CollegeGal98

To annoy you...Tell me, am I successful at doing so ?

ThePenguin Weekly

I wish to know why all the consoles are malfunctioning.

ThePenguin Weekly

You will terminate this line of questioning.

John Lang

I'm scanning for raging hormones

SM

I'm not, I work on that console!

Quip

Your "romance" is causing shipwide nausea.

Quip

Just showing Toomb that he could do better.

Quip

Just providing some background scenery!

Mikhail

I'm Bored.

CyBeRsWiNe

Im trying to work out why the tricorder detects three lifeforms when I point it in your direction....

The Great Wizzard

Well, this episode is named "Somebody to Watch Over Me".

CyBeRsWiNe

Im here to make sure you dont break the PG rating, if you do, your're both assimilated!

8 of 12

This is Seven of Nine, reporting live for 'A briefing with Kneelicks'

the girl from ipanema

Where I come from, privacy is irrelevant.

ScottE Bemeup

Your methods of assimilation are slow, but effective.

ScottE Bemeup

I want to observe how you assimilate him.

The Great Wizzard

Annoyme Wildman asked me about that "Birds and Bees" stuff.

Haathi

I set my toycorder to "romance". Yours was the only one I could detect.

MindMelda

I have Naomi Wildman disorder.

Haathi

I am trying to find the source of the strange smooching sounds.

The Great Wizzard

Well, how should I learn about human relationships? From a neurotic hologram perhaps?

Joona Palaste

I need more hints in assimilating men.

The Great Wizzard

"Why" is irrelevant.

The Great Wizzard

"Big Sister" has been watching you...

gunnar

I am Bored. You will be annoyed...

The Great Wizzard

Well, it's because... oops, gotta regenerate! now!

The Great Wizzard

I followed others and here are the results: Chocolatey: Dull and boring; Hairy Chin: Dull and boring; Twoblocks: Dull and Boring; Kneelicks: Annoying and annoying. Need I go on?

The Great Wizzard

I promised to help the Doctor enhancing his personality with some passion.

Darth Paul

We need something to keep the viewers entertained while you guys do your "relationship" stuff.

The Great Wizzard

I want to find out when you discover that "Kick Me" sign I placed on your... oops!

The Great Wizzard

Just some research widely based about your "inflatable waistline".

JC

You should thank me, it's the only way you get any screentime anymore!

Back Sev Trek: The Comic Strip Next


Sev Wide Web | Index | Toon Zone | Sev Shop | What's New | Contact Us
Sev Trek Comp | Scifi Comp | Pits Comp | Twist Comp | Sunday Comp
Sev Trek | Sev Files | Sevgate | Fraud of the Rings | Bluffy | Sev Wars | Sevylon 5 | Pits | Twist | Sevloid Chronicles
Sev Trek Movie | Sev Wars 3D Trailer | The Vault | Discussion Board | Ideas Board | Sevilian Board | Privacy Policys

The Sev Wide Web and all content within are © Copyright 2000 by John Cook.
None of my material can be used on any other site without prior permission from the author.
However, feel free to link to my site from yours.