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This week's idea was suggested on the Ideas Board by e of Pi..
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

The Pickhard Manoeuvre. It's time for Sevilians to decide once and for all what exactly is the Pickhard Manoeuvre! (P.S. - to my USA nitpickers, please note that I am using the correct English spelling :-)


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition. This week's winning punchline was written by atona. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.


A NAMELESS GIRL FROM MISSISSIPPI

its when i picked my nose really hard and it fell off.

A NAMELESS GIRL FROM MISSISSIPPI

well, i was picking my nose and my roomate caught me and named it the pickhard manoeuver

Mate

Thanks to special holigrams, the enemy thinks I have hair!

Yorgi

Not wearing any underwear provides for a great deal of manoeuverability

Cyber-Garfield

Transploding over the most annoying person to your enemy, and warped away as fast as you can.

Cyber-Garfield

Getting rid of Measley's dad, before any more can come along

Cyber-Garfield

Quickly transplode over and wedgie your enemies

Johnathan McClure

I'll explain later. Meanwhile, set a course for ROMANCE.

Avenger CO

You know I can't tell you until you sign a waiver!

Leo Schelvis

Pulling my uniform straight at every conversation with an alien


Can't tell you mine, but I'm currently performing the Gainwheight hands-on-hips manoeuver.

Matt Hancock

Don't go boldly there

Powerlord

Computer, explode console next to Piker.

Yorgi

Walking into a negotiation with the best intentions and coming back a few ensigns lighter

Q

...and THAT PIker is why you shall never have your own ship.

Iva

Hail, warning shot, hail, hail, warning shot, hail, hail, hail,warning shot, hail, hail, hail, hail........

Drevekenin

I keep Wesley away from the viewscreen in first-contact situations.

Drevekenin

You wait for the door to open and THEN pass through.

JDSandara

(singing) I know something you don't know.

Darth Paul

Tugging on your shirt like this. It stops it ripping every time you go into combat.

The Walking Star Trek Encyclopedia

A very special shirt tug which kills your enemies in 30sec!

Matt FalconKnight

Soory, only Captains are authorized to know the Pickhard manoeuver...HA! Should have taken a command when you had the chance!

Andy

Just remember this: Earl Grey can't be heated up with a phizzer.

Tyrrogan

Well, you know that dent on the starboard nacelle....

Ziyal

It's to escape from the conselour's mother!!

Frogboy lives

It goes like this, I'm a little teapot...

Cpt Thomas (Philip Kerselaers)

That information is restricted to bald people and people with an excessive hairdo ; in other words: captain's only

1of69

Don't shoot until you loose at least 10 ensigns

augustdragon

Keeping a straight face when I call you 'Number One'.

augustdragon

Ever tried to play 'Twister' in these uniforms?

Eric Woo

A figment of your imagination; now, if you'll excuse me, I have shirts to tug and Fungi ships to blast.

augustdragon

That figures. All of our enemies have read the manuel, but none of our officers have.

augustdragon

Careful, Number 1! If you do it more than once, your face will get stuck like this!

Dr Satan

It's won me the universal break-dancing competition 3 years in a row.

augustdragon

Actually, it started as a magic trick... Pick-a-hard, any hard.

Dr Satan

It's where we load beta's head into the torpedo tube

augustdragon

All, right ENSIGN Piker, open your Sev Fleet training manuel to page 447...

augustdragon

Being the only one left standing after we've hit sub space disruptions.

Dr Satan

It's where I make a cowardly advance to my escape pod

Mats-Trek

Always PICK the HARD manoeuver

Mark

Stand, Tug, Engage!

Mr. Memo

You ever tried to get through rush hour in this thing?

Mr. Memo

It takes a lot of luck trying to find the right combination of buttons again.

Mr. Memo

I fell asleep on my console once & voila! now it's a manoeuver.

@lien

Ahead Warp factor 9 if you see a child!

Norwegian Bajoran

It's maeuvering towards a certain redhead!

Three-of-Seven

No time to explain, just make it so!

Andy

Fighting a ship by raising shields and hailing it.

Andy

If you continue to follow my shining example, you will figure it out.

Rosalie

Lather, Rinse, and Repeat.

Morgan

Maintaining a crease free torso during all conflicts.

Morgan

Stop interupting me tugging my uniform.

Kurt

If you don't know it you're not ready for captaincy!

Lonewolf

To keep the helm away from Tryhard!

DAZED AND CONFUSED

Managing to survive being an ensign!

Shlamko

Never stop for cubes.

valerie p

First insert digit into nose...

Matthew Fries

There are **FOUR** Maneuvers!!!

Cpt Thomas (Philip Kerselaers)

It's another name for my famous "lectures" ...

Kimberly

Engaging the Borg while smooching women and tugging my shirt.

athena

It's a damn sight more interesting than that piddly joystick of yours...

Strike Falcon

It's uhh...Uhh... Oh, gosh, I know it, I just can't remember....

Strike Falcon

You're the director, you tell me!

Beregond

your lookin' at her

Crazeyal

A flashlight, some buffing wax, and a promise by EVERYONE not to laugh

Cpt Thomas (Philip Kerselaers)

The real reason why I live long and prosper...

Cursen Dix

it's pulling ones socks up, not ones trousers down...

MoccoMouse

Look who's talking. You couldn't have a manoeuver if you tried.

MoccoMouse

No one questions the manoeuver! No one!

Polgara

It's when one of my neverending monologues prevents an interstellar war.

Cap'n Russ

I dunno. I pushed a bunch of buttons, and now it's a maneuver.

Quip

An EVASIVE one, of course!

The Ultimate Q

Stomacking all that Earl Gray Tea! Awwww....

Ensign Danny

to manage 7 seasons without getting mad

Vicky Carson

You'll have to keep your lovehandles covered some day too, Mr. Piker!

5618 (David)

Walking to the toilet every commercial break. I'm a senior citizen you know!

Rik

It's *MANOEUVRE* you stupid canadian!

Melkior

Getting OUT of my uniform

Blake

That's were you call your first officer No.1 and treat him like No.2

Blake

Well, you make a shooting gesture with your hand like this and say "Engage!"

sherwell

It's jargon - it makes everyone think you know what you're doing when you don't.

MindMelda

If you do it right, you can clear your sinuses,escape the Fungi and prevent wedgies in one easy motion!

1of69

Hail them, hail them again, and again, and again....

augustdragon

Putting the toilet seat down. The ladies love it.

Miss Holly

Getting into this suit in under five minutes.

Kendar

To boldly go where no-one else wants to

T'Lorik

The level of competence is inversely proportional to the amount of hair coverage--no offense, Counselor.

Gregory Griffiths

First, you come up with a way of working Gaby Cook's cuteness into a punchline...

augustdragon

Drinking an entire cup of Earl Gray at warp speed without spilling a single drop!

the girl from ipanema

Just get yourself an accent that contradicts your nationality.

the girl from ipanema

Sorry, number one, but I don't manouver and tell.

the girl from ipanema

Sip tea, put the cup down, repeat.

Trideos

One mishap and my hair never grew back...

Ben Moore

Place your finger up your nose-et voila!!

Mark Foster

When I shout "It's the Borg" and make you all look away while I correct this uniform's habit of, uh, riding up.

CmdrChang

Can't you just follow my shining example?

Zatharus

An act of desperation to get away from Lwaxative Tryhard

Michael Kraft

You asked where the toilets are, I told you. You asked why Sev Fleet captains are bald and I answered. Now you ask what the Pickhard Manuever is. Well no more! The line must be drawn here!

Dacron

You expect me to share it with the pair that crashed my last ship?!

Dacron

It's light years ahead of the Piker Maneuver, I'll say that much.

Yorgi

You know those sounds I told you were the seat??

Andy

If you set a phizzer just right, it will make your head really shine!

Bill Harris

Buffing my head in the morning.

§evqui§

Just a little waggle of the finger and the word "Engage!".

Cmdr. 8472

I told you, there are four lights!

Spiner

Ever tried to parallel park this baby?

Cmdr. 8472

Well, it all started one day, when I asked, "What does this button do?"

ScottE Bemeup

It's how I avoid the children on this ship.

Sabeth

It's the way I elegantly straighten my uniform

Shlamko

Never leave the enterforaprize!

Sophie

And you wonder why your twin has more success than you!

Wang

A way to pick both sides of your nose at the same time with one finger!

aurik

Number One, I'm getting so old that just getting out of my chair is maneuver

Corsair

Stand, Tug, Reflect, and then make YOU do it.

Corsair

Always send Number 1.....

Corsair

Always send someone else....

Christopher

A conference call in the middle of a battle.

Blake

"Tea, Earl Grey, Hot!"

Jeff's world

You are demoted to Ensign! anyone else wanna ask?

Martin OJ

How should I know? I just fell and hit some buttons.

+PsychoPat+

Ok... you grab your shirt like this and you tug it down.

Antti

If I told you that, the timeline would be irrevocably altered.

augustdragon

Piker, it takes 47 muscles to frown like this. On the other hand, it only takes 4 to smack you in the head.

Antti

Confuse the enemy with political correctness and technobabble!

5618 (David)

How do you think we got around all those plot holes?

5618 (David)

Replicate a razor and I'll show you!

augustdragon

Jumping out of a moving starship. The trick is to start running really, really fast as soon as you hit the ground.

augustdragon

Sticking out my tongue and touching my nose.

Quip

Sometimes just blowing your nose simply doesn't cut it!

augustdragon

A country western line dance I created. Wanna see?

Mr. Memo

It's how I got out of a headlock, but lost my hair in the process.

Sir Percey

It's the "Peter Pan" stance I'm in right now before I say "engage".

augustdragon

Patting my head and rubbing my belly at the same time.

§Sean§

You'll notice that my chair is the only one on the bridge without a console?...well, you work it out

augustdragon

My mother came up with the term while I was potty-training.

augustdragon

Back-handing smart-mouthed first officers.

augustdragon

Look, if the Carsalesmans couldn't get it outta me, what makes you think YOU will?

SOC

Again with the Pickhard maouvre, anybody would think your after my job...

SOC

Doing a U-turn during peak hour traffic...

Potswilly

Sorry Will, the Pickhard Manouver®™ is a Registered Trademark of mine.

Potswilly

The opposite of the "pickeasy" manouvre.

Samurai

The fine art of clearing one's nostrils of unwanted debris. (picking one's nose=Pickhard)

Mr. Memo

Note to self: Employ a SMART #1 next time.

Mr. Memo

All I know is that it can be explained with a bunch of technobable.

Mr. Memo

Tryhard. It's time for you to state the obvious again.

Polson

It's the latest technique in nose picking. You've got to pick-hard

da little red caboose(when will my lines win???)

it's all available in my next book for only$ 19.95!!!

The little red caboose

it involves tripping and spilling a cup of tea on the navigational console

Matthew Fries

I use it to get into this Jumpsuit.

Denver white

Number One! I never gave you permission to speek freely!

The little red caboose

Well, it all happened when I spilled a steaming cup of earl grey tea on the console...

The little red caboose

I don't know....It happened when I sneezed on the console

Kevin

blinding the enemy with my bold head.

Miss Holly

Inhaling five crumpets and six cups of Earl Grey in under 30 seconds.

Sir Steve

If I told you, YOU would get the romances!

Mark

You take space, fold it like so, and then drive through it!

evay

If at first you don't succeed... Pickharder!

Spiner

Let's just say that it enabled me to survive my redshirt days!

8 of 12

Legendary, Number One.

Mark

Its like the 'Hokie-Pokie,' but with a starship.

CmdrChang

Loose the hair, then we'll talk

Mark

It has to do with straightening my uniform.

heather grant

rev the nacelles and engage engage engage!!!

Mark

How did you ever gradute Sev Fleet Academy?

Blake

Well, first grab your shirt like this...

Not_Elvis

Toss a couple of ensigns at the problem and duck.

Not_Elvis

Approch the replicaterer and say "Tea, Earl Grey, hot."

Polgara

Well! Someone wasn't paying attention to his academy classes!

EvilDevil

Always avoid exploding consoles, let redshirt do suicide job, and get promoted.

ThePenguin Weekly

It's the reason I'm bald.

EvilDevil

... and you wonder why do I get more romances than you.

ThePenguin Weekly

Once you lose your hair, you'll understand.

Frogboy Lives

You put your left hand in,you take your left hand out...

DRAGONDOG

Only the women in my life findout that secret

JC

Sorry Number One, my moves are classified.

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