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This week's idea was suggested on the Ideas Board by Rug Man.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

Edgy Dux the counsellor. After the raging success of X Generation's counsellor, Deep Sev 9 couldn't resist bringing in another counsellor. You just can't get touchy feely enough in the 24th century. :-)


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition. This week's winning punchline was written by Johnny Cool. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.


Ryan

Because councellors HELP others with problems, not complain about their own.

chris

When Schidzo said the new Dux was a "shrink," we thought he meant your height!

Barthel

If it walks like a Dux, and talks like a Dux . . .

Keshir Suder

You just seem a bit 'Edgy' that's all...

darkjedi

We're not surprised. People see you and realise it could be worse.

Quip

We've got Quack-- and he's less annoying!

Quip

You said the "C" word!

Quip

I'll get her arms, chief, you get her feet, Boolean can hit the airlock button.

Quip

Some counselor, you can't even tell surprise from contempt!

Spazz

Because we want to die with HONOR!

Dylan R

Let's just say that when you lived long, you didn't prosper.

RealmMan

Trusting you with our minds is like trusting Quack with our money!

Griffin

I'll stun her with a phaser, you drag her to the air lock.

The Borgified Corpse

We'll Tryhard to accept it.

Polgara

Maybe because you spend so much time with your foot in your mouth.

ScottE Bemeup

I see dead people.

Polson

Looks like this one's deffective. We'd better send it back.

Patchwork

I thought the counsellor was this guy called Vic Fontaine...

Lieutenant Luke

The "Thrill" in counselling has never been there, kid...

Lieutenant Luke

I don't want to hear your problems...but MAYBE the airlock will!

SiriusB

YOU'RE professional help??I feel inappropriate laughter coming on!

FerengiBert

Where the hell is my B'atleth!

CyberJake

Bashful, remember the Hippocratic oath!

Yorgi

Men!, we now face an enemy worse than the domino!!


Your attempt at reconcilliation between the Klingons and Tribble's was a little misguided..

Azriaz

With your backgrounds you propably counsel to kill

§Sean§

So, Who's for a little time trip to bring back Jazzsinger???

Allan

Noone wants to spill their guts to a slug.

Joanna

My wife AND my ex in one package... Quark! More prune juice!

Tomboy

As long as you can use a Bat'Leth, drink bloodwine, and play tongo, its fine by me.

Dave K

Your previous host had a REAL job

Tomboy

Which one of you in there should I give my answer to?

prometheus

You do have schizophrenia down. However, we don't like that fact that you REALLY are in touch with your inner self!!

Quip

It's not surprise, it's CONTEMPT.

Cmdr. Solomon

You don't seem like the type to babble.

Jim Cardwell

This is where we apply the pain stick

T'pek

Klingons sing songs about the great counsellors hunt!

chris

The answer is just outside the airlock.

Theodore A. Moser

Don't you have enough problems without everyone else's

peter

I believe your agression coming towards us is really about bottled up feelings about your mother.

freilicher

You want me to answer in a one-hour episode?

gunnar

Because we all voted for Mourn as stationīs-counsellor!

Mouse - jefferies tube 32

Today is a good day to cry!!

§Sean§

Well 6 ensigns jumped out the airlock without a spacesuit only 2 minutes after you arrived... What does that tell you?


I'm sensing much hostility. . . how 'bout you guys?

Sarah Jane-Way

Why is it all counsellors have a thing for Klingons?

Quip

Maybe it's your eight personalities?

Mr. Shadow

I thought you said you NEEDED a counsellor!

Mr. Shadow

I don't like counselors! They tell me not to kill things!

Luigi Novi

I'm not. I'd imagine your patients take one look at you and feel much better about themselves very quickly!

Luigi Novi

I knew a counsellor. I dated a counsellor. You are no counsellor.

Ensign with Brownpants, the only thing to wear with a red shirt

You're the only Sevfleet officer who isn't perfrectly well adjusted

-Mercury1-

Maybe today is a good day to DIE!!

-Mercury1-

I need another shot of prunjuice!

peter

Read my book, "Here are the reasons of why I'm surprised you're a counsellor....Volume One"

MindMelda

She can't harm me, my brain has already been shrunk!

MindMelda

Today is not a good day to counsel!

Nails

Clingoffs do not discuss their problems with slugs; they EAT them!

gunnar

There is no honour in stating the obvious!

Madred

You are the living proof that a bad idea is NOT better than no idea.

Madred

Jazzsinger deserved a lot better reincarnation.

Madred

We are able to evolve our characters without help.

Lt L'ila

Well we requested an Orion slave girl!

Vixen of Borg

Ally McTrill a counsellor that the blind leading the blind really

Philip Kerselaers(Cpt Thomas)

Because Klingoffs aren't supposed to fall for the same trick twice...

Unka Woofie

Deja ex.

The Traveler

So. . . aren't you supposed to start giving out intuitively obvious advice right about now?

Chris Gregory

That girl whines more than a damn ferengi

Griffin

We could have gone with the whole Bajoran spirtual enlightenment plot line, but nooo!

Julian Barr

This is Deep Sev 9.. We have no feelings!

Maccy

Good idea we can tell the Domino that we sence hostility.

Maccy

Do you think she could anoy the Domino into giving up?

Maccy

Your look just screems expendable.

Guilherme Silva

We're not surprised. We're holding the laughing.

Raven

Boolean thought you'd be a nurse, O'Blimey thought you'd be a tactical officer, and I thought you'd be a guy.

Guilherme Silva

Remind me to never let her fly the defunct!

freilicher

Computer, delete Dux character! . . . Nuts! She's real.

freilicher

Okay, it's either a dream sequence, a Cue episode, a temporal distortion, or a mirror universe. Which is it?

freilicher

How does that make you feel?

Lieutenant Luke

So you're not the new female Ensign Expendable? Damn...

Lieutenant Luke

Aren't counsellors supposed to know the obvious?

Nodrog

For the same reason everyone is surprised to hear I'm a warrior...

Nodrog

Whoah, too much blood wine...

Nodrog

There is a klingoff proverb that pertains to matters like this... translated, it meens "More bloodwine!"

Nodrog

Physician, heal thyself!

Nodrog

Have you ever heard the phrase 'The blind leading the blind'?

Nodrog

Who needs councilors when you've got Dabo girls?

Three-of-Seven

Captain Schidzo said we needed porfessional help!

J Corsiatto

That would make you BOTH of my old girlfriends!

Hiergargo

They decided that counsellors would be the new red-shirts right before Jazzsinger died.

Tim Morgan

It's just hard to imagine Dux going from technobabble to psychobabble.

chris

You sound stressed... maybe you should go talk to someone.

Shlamko

I'm surprised I didn't fall in love with you instantly!

Quip

Because you're annoying enough as it is?

Corsair

You cause more problems than you solve.

Shlamko

You're a little slugish for the job.

Tom Lachecki

We're not surprised you're a... WHAT???

gunnar

The day you counsel me would be a good day to die!

Lonewolf

Lets just say I've got past experiance!

Lonewolf

Because now, you represent two of the great loves of my life!

Lonewolf

In the words of Captain Quirk, "I... have had... enough of... you!"

Becca

I told Sevfleet I'd commit suicide if they posted a counsellor here. Wheres my bat'leth?

Cordavin Lon

We're not surprised; we just don't give a tribble's backside.

Mouse - jefferies tube32

Not as surprised as I was when someone called you Old Man!!

Wendee Rae

We're not. Your insecurities make us feel better about ourselves.

MindMelda

Definitely feeling aggressive tendencies!

Lancer

I have no idea, Ms I've-got-nine-different-personalities-inside-my-head.

8 of 12

We just got Mourn talking before your session with him!

Kris

Schizophrenic psychiatrists are rare.

I Worship His Shatner

Bashful, stick those eyes back in your head before I do it for you!

I Worship His Shatner

Counsellors are not honorable.

Eric Fickas

Now, say it like Kurzon.

Megan Dax

A warrior does not need counselling!

Melkior

Well you're the one hearing voices...

Megan Dax

because all of Dux's other hosts have been useful

T'Rowa

Well, Jazzsinger had a brain, and most counselors, well...don't.

Raven

Where did the age requirements go?!

MibM

Why is it you're allways talking instead of listening?

Air CB

Because Dux's last two hosts belived that all your problems could be solved by Blood Wine.

Lyra

You even have to ask? Can't you 'sense' it?

Jason Turner

WORF - "I'm not very Trilled about it"

Flagg

We're surprised there is anyone more useless then Tryhard.

Amanda

Your hair's not long enough and your neckline isn't low enough.

Sevanonymous

A warzone is no place for touchy-feely slugs.

Sevanonymous

Surprised? I said "Saddened."

Kristina

With trial and error, most people don't go back to the error.

Lieutenant Luke

Be gone, or I'll have Mr. Odour pass the salt...

Lieutenant Luke

This isn't funny Berman...where's Dux?

Seeker

there's a reason some of us left the Enterforaprize.

Polson

You don't state the obvious every five minutes.

Robert Underwood

I'm sensing some aggressive tendencies.

Nodrog

Uh-oh, I've seen this type of thing before. If you'll excuse me, I need to see about getting a transfer to Forager.

the cheekster

By Kahless! It's the incompetence of Tryhard and the annoyance of Measly all roled into one.

peter

Grab a glass of ractageno, sit down, and we'll talk about it

Norwegian Bajoran

We expected a better hairdo.

shawn mcniel

No one can shut you up long enough to tell you THEIR problems.

Mate

Counsellor Tryhard crashed the Enterforaprize, who knows what you may do!

evay

You're not wearing the official Counsellor Uniform (TM).

D. Metchette

One "Quack" is enough!

Ed

The neckline of your uniform is at your neck.

mgeoffrey

We don't NEED no stinkin councellor!!

E-Nice

You're not much of a counselor if you have to ask.

MindMelda

With all those personalities, I think you NEED a counsellor.

Michael

Because you are the one CAUSING most of the problems with the MALE crew around here.

E-Nice

You're the counselor. You tell us.

Morgan

Sorry, we're just not used to having one with any real training.

The Great Wizzard

As counsellor, I prefer Vic Fontaine!

ScottE Bemeup

Many of the crew will seek your couch. Few will seek your advice.

ScottE Bemeup

Quark already performs that duty.

Matt McLaughlin

Because you appear to need counseling more than we do.

The Great Wizzard

Someone who's got serious troubles with her own personality shall give me advice about mine?

The Great Wizzard

I was dating a counsellor once. I was married to the former host. If anyone acts surprised if I get intimate with her, it's gonna be a good day for him to die!

The Great Wizzard

They've got rid of Political Correctness! Why couldn't they get rid of Counsellors when they were at it?

Lonewolf

Because it is so X Generation!

+PsychoPat+

A counselor that can wield a Batleth! bad combo!

+PsychoPat+

Start counseling the slug and perhaps you'll find out yourself.

8 of 12

Mourn hasn't talked since your last session!

§Sean§

I'm feeling some hostility towards the new counselor

Joona Palaste

We're just wondering which part of you is the counsellor.

Don

She's still in the denial phase.

Don

That's the space sickness talking, right?

Shlamko

A counsellor is fine. A slug is fine. Toghether their not fine.

JC

We can't believe the writers had forgotten the debacle of Counsellor Tryhard.

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