|Sev Trek: The Comic Strip|
Edgy Dux the counsellor. After the raging success of X Generation's counsellor, Deep Sev 9 couldn't resist bringing in another counsellor. You just can't get touchy feely enough in the 24th century. :-)
|Other Punchlines||These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition. This week's winning punchline was written by Johnny Cool. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.|
Because councellors HELP others with problems, not complain about their own.
When Schidzo said the new Dux was a "shrink," we thought he meant your height!
If it walks like a Dux, and talks like a Dux . . .
You just seem a bit 'Edgy' that's all...
We're not surprised. People see you and realise it could be worse.
We've got Quack-- and he's less annoying!
You said the "C" word!
I'll get her arms, chief, you get her feet, Boolean can hit the airlock button.
Some counselor, you can't even tell surprise from contempt!
Because we want to die with HONOR!
Let's just say that when you lived long, you didn't prosper.
Trusting you with our minds is like trusting Quack with our money!
I'll stun her with a phaser, you drag her to the air lock.
The Borgified Corpse
We'll Tryhard to accept it.
Maybe because you spend so much time with your foot in your mouth.
I see dead people.
Looks like this one's deffective. We'd better send it back.
I thought the counsellor was this guy called Vic Fontaine...
The "Thrill" in counselling has never been there, kid...
I don't want to hear your problems...but MAYBE the airlock will!
YOU'RE professional help??I feel inappropriate laughter coming on!
Where the hell is my B'atleth!
Bashful, remember the Hippocratic oath!
Men!, we now face an enemy worse than the domino!!
Your attempt at reconcilliation between the Klingons and Tribble's was a little misguided..
With your backgrounds you propably counsel to kill
So, Who's for a little time trip to bring back Jazzsinger???
Noone wants to spill their guts to a slug.
My wife AND my ex in one package... Quark! More prune juice!
As long as you can use a Bat'Leth, drink bloodwine, and play tongo, its fine by me.
Your previous host had a REAL job
Which one of you in there should I give my answer to?
You do have schizophrenia down. However, we don't like that fact that you REALLY are in touch with your inner self!!
It's not surprise, it's CONTEMPT.
You don't seem like the type to babble.
This is where we apply the pain stick
Klingons sing songs about the great counsellors hunt!
The answer is just outside the airlock.
Theodore A. Moser
Don't you have enough problems without everyone else's
I believe your agression coming towards us is really about bottled up feelings about your mother.
You want me to answer in a one-hour episode?
Because we all voted for Mourn as stationīs-counsellor!
Mouse - jefferies tube 32
Today is a good day to cry!!
Well 6 ensigns jumped out the airlock without a spacesuit only 2 minutes after you arrived... What does that tell you?
I'm sensing much hostility. . . how 'bout you guys?
Why is it all counsellors have a thing for Klingons?
Maybe it's your eight personalities?
I thought you said you NEEDED a counsellor!
I don't like counselors! They tell me not to kill things!
I'm not. I'd imagine your patients take one look at you and feel much better about themselves very quickly!
I knew a counsellor. I dated a counsellor. You are no counsellor.
Ensign with Brownpants, the only thing to wear with a red shirt
You're the only Sevfleet officer who isn't perfrectly well adjusted
Maybe today is a good day to DIE!!
I need another shot of prunjuice!
Read my book, "Here are the reasons of why I'm surprised you're a counsellor....Volume One"
She can't harm me, my brain has already been shrunk!
Today is not a good day to counsel!
Clingoffs do not discuss their problems with slugs; they EAT them!
There is no honour in stating the obvious!
You are the living proof that a bad idea is NOT better than no idea.
Jazzsinger deserved a lot better reincarnation.
We are able to evolve our characters without help.
Well we requested an Orion slave girl!
Vixen of Borg
Ally McTrill a counsellor that the blind leading the blind really
Philip Kerselaers(Cpt Thomas)
Because Klingoffs aren't supposed to fall for the same trick twice...
So. . . aren't you supposed to start giving out intuitively obvious advice right about now?
That girl whines more than a damn ferengi
We could have gone with the whole Bajoran spirtual enlightenment plot line, but nooo!
This is Deep Sev 9.. We have no feelings!
Good idea we can tell the Domino that we sence hostility.
Do you think she could anoy the Domino into giving up?
Your look just screems expendable.
We're not surprised. We're holding the laughing.
Boolean thought you'd be a nurse, O'Blimey thought you'd be a tactical officer, and I thought you'd be a guy.
Remind me to never let her fly the defunct!
Computer, delete Dux character! . . . Nuts! She's real.
Okay, it's either a dream sequence, a Cue episode, a temporal distortion, or a mirror universe. Which is it?
How does that make you feel?
So you're not the new female Ensign Expendable? Damn...
Aren't counsellors supposed to know the obvious?
For the same reason everyone is surprised to hear I'm a warrior...
Whoah, too much blood wine...
There is a klingoff proverb that pertains to matters like this... translated, it meens "More bloodwine!"
Physician, heal thyself!
Have you ever heard the phrase 'The blind leading the blind'?
Who needs councilors when you've got Dabo girls?
Captain Schidzo said we needed porfessional help!
That would make you BOTH of my old girlfriends!
They decided that counsellors would be the new red-shirts right before Jazzsinger died.
It's just hard to imagine Dux going from technobabble to psychobabble.
You sound stressed... maybe you should go talk to someone.
I'm surprised I didn't fall in love with you instantly!
Because you're annoying enough as it is?
You cause more problems than you solve.
You're a little slugish for the job.
We're not surprised you're a... WHAT???
The day you counsel me would be a good day to die!
Lets just say I've got past experiance!
Because now, you represent two of the great loves of my life!
In the words of Captain Quirk, "I... have had... enough of... you!"
I told Sevfleet I'd commit suicide if they posted a counsellor here. Wheres my bat'leth?
We're not surprised; we just don't give a tribble's backside.
Mouse - jefferies tube32
Not as surprised as I was when someone called you Old Man!!
We're not. Your insecurities make us feel better about ourselves.
Definitely feeling aggressive tendencies!
I have no idea, Ms I've-got-nine-different-personalities-inside-my-head.
8 of 12
We just got Mourn talking before your session with him!
Schizophrenic psychiatrists are rare.
I Worship His Shatner
Bashful, stick those eyes back in your head before I do it for you!
I Worship His Shatner
Counsellors are not honorable.
Now, say it like Kurzon.
A warrior does not need counselling!
Well you're the one hearing voices...
because all of Dux's other hosts have been useful
Well, Jazzsinger had a brain, and most counselors, well...don't.
Where did the age requirements go?!
Why is it you're allways talking instead of listening?
Because Dux's last two hosts belived that all your problems could be solved by Blood Wine.
You even have to ask? Can't you 'sense' it?
WORF - "I'm not very Trilled about it"
We're surprised there is anyone more useless then Tryhard.
Your hair's not long enough and your neckline isn't low enough.
A warzone is no place for touchy-feely slugs.
Surprised? I said "Saddened."
With trial and error, most people don't go back to the error.
Be gone, or I'll have Mr. Odour pass the salt...
This isn't funny Berman...where's Dux?
there's a reason some of us left the Enterforaprize.
You don't state the obvious every five minutes.
I'm sensing some aggressive tendencies.
Uh-oh, I've seen this type of thing before. If you'll excuse me, I need to see about getting a transfer to Forager.
By Kahless! It's the incompetence of Tryhard and the annoyance of Measly all roled into one.
Grab a glass of ractageno, sit down, and we'll talk about it
We expected a better hairdo.
No one can shut you up long enough to tell you THEIR problems.
Counsellor Tryhard crashed the Enterforaprize, who knows what you may do!
You're not wearing the official Counsellor Uniform (TM).
One "Quack" is enough!
The neckline of your uniform is at your neck.
We don't NEED no stinkin councellor!!
You're not much of a counselor if you have to ask.
With all those personalities, I think you NEED a counsellor.
Because you are the one CAUSING most of the problems with the MALE crew around here.
You're the counselor. You tell us.
Sorry, we're just not used to having one with any real training.
The Great Wizzard
As counsellor, I prefer Vic Fontaine!
Many of the crew will seek your couch. Few will seek your advice.
Quark already performs that duty.
Because you appear to need counseling more than we do.
The Great Wizzard
Someone who's got serious troubles with her own personality shall give me advice about mine?
The Great Wizzard
I was dating a counsellor once. I was married to the former host. If anyone acts surprised if I get intimate with her, it's gonna be a good day for him to die!
The Great Wizzard
They've got rid of Political Correctness! Why couldn't they get rid of Counsellors when they were at it?
Because it is so X Generation!
A counselor that can wield a Batleth! bad combo!
Start counseling the slug and perhaps you'll find out yourself.
8 of 12
Mourn hasn't talked since your last session!
I'm feeling some hostility towards the new counselor
We're just wondering which part of you is the counsellor.
She's still in the denial phase.
That's the space sickness talking, right?
A counsellor is fine. A slug is fine. Toghether their not fine.
We can't believe the writers had forgotten the debacle of Counsellor Tryhard.
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