|Sev Trek: The Comic Strip|
Quirk the old. How do you make an old captain like Pickhard look young? You bring in an even older captain! This is my last comic in the series of Degerations strips I've been doing recently. Time to move onto some other movies...
|Other Punchlines||These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition. This week's winning punchline was written by Cameron Mason. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.|
History recalls the Galaxy had to be saved from you!
I still think the galaxy would be better off without you!
I ran into Spock a couple of seasons ago. He seems to recall things a little differently
Actually, you were making out with green women. Your vulcan sidekick did most of the galaxy-saving
You've upstaged me for 7 years, the line must be drawn HERE!
Theodore A. Moser
Just remember, you are wearing the red shirt now.
Captain of Andromeda
You weren't Saving the galaxy, you were making first contact with every female!!
True. He always said they were full of Kirk.
With your own hair, no doubt.
Yes I know. I spent my career cleaning up the mess you made!
Less 5,000 redshirted ensigns of course.
Tell that to the red-shirts. It looks good on you, Gym.
You mean saving scantily clothed women!
What's next ??? "Pickhard, I am your father..." ???
'Saving', is that what you call it nowadays?
So that mess out there is YOUR fault, then?
What about the redshirts? did you save them?
Guano said that you were old.
Yeah, but at what cost! One starship, and around 3000 Ensigns!
Getting rid of Ensigns so that you can comfort their Girlfriends does not count as saving the Galaxy
Too bad you never found a way to save that receding hair line or that waist line.
The way I heard it, the Galaxy had to be saved from you!
And I was out saving the galaxy during one of your dramatic pauses!
Yes, I know... Starfleet is still fixing the messes you made...
Saving the galaxy? How? By assualting your enemies with red-shirted guys?
At least I'M not wanted by the temporal police 17 times. Only 13.
YOu've confused romancing with saving again.
Its taken us that long to clean it all up.
at least i'm not "pretending" to have hair.
Saving the galaxy?!? I would hardly call killing all those red shirts 'Saving the Galaxy!'
True enough but now that you are in diapers, it's my turn.
I don't think the human race was in danger of being UNDER-populated!
And they call me old!
I know, you've left hair everywhere.
Hmmm...more "servicing" than "saving" from what I heard.
So, now you admit your age!
Back in the days when the galaxy was big enough for your ego?
And you look every stardate of it
At what cost ? 2634848 ensigns and double the shirts.
Duck! Incoming Enterforaprize
I do it without killing ensigns!
Mouse - jefferies tube 32
You're younger than you look!!
If he's gonna be rude to me, Im not even going to tell him that he's wearing a red shirt
Come with me and I'll let you take the credit again this time.
And who's saving it now that YOU are?
Well luckily the new Enterforaprize DOES have bathrooms
They were standard issue aboard your ship.
About this time you say, "Pickhard, I am your father," right?
From what? The skimmpy dressed female aliens?
8 of 12
And now I have to save the galaxy from you!
I Worship His Shatner
*mumbles* At least I look good bald.
Jen the jumping quean II
you mean were violating the P.C. derictive while my grandfather was in diapers!!!
Are you sure you're not my grandfather?
Well, Excuuusssseeeee Meeeee!
Yeah but your "galaxy saving" was cancelled after 3 years...Mine is still going
Yeah, and since then, we're stuck with the PC-directive
Means you've lived long enough, so you're the perfect redshirt for this movie.
Shouldn't you change into some other color shirt?
Since when are you proud of your age?
little green woman
Talking of diapers ... I think yours are wet!
It's a shame you couldn't save your hairline!
When did you save the galaxy? The only thing you were saving was your own butt!
You don't look a day younger.
That's not the way the galaxy tells it.
Before you, The galaxy didn't NEED saving!
At least I acknowledge the passage of time!
I Worship His Shatner
Toupee...er...I mean Touche
I Worship His Shatner
And all the time the Galaxy was expanding, your gut was doing the same thing!
Yes, and both were due for a change...
Well, I can tell you that you failed.
So that's why the galaxy is so screwed up in my time.
Well I'm only here to change your MIND!
Yeah, well, you're back in them, so I guess we're even.
Diapers? how primitive... in this century we use waste containment fields!
You were also bald then too.
Making the galaxy safe for diaper rash sufferers everywhere.
Excuse me? Pickhards are born potty trained.
And I'll be saving the galaxy while you're six feet under.
Your toupee is swelling.
So take a hint and RETIRE!!!!
Really? You're younger than I thought.
No Pickhard EVER wore diapers!
Sadly, you haven't aged as well as my grandfather. And he's dead.
Speaking of...sniff sniff...I think it's time for your change.
We can do this movie without you. All we need is mannequin with a broken cassette player for your speech lines.
Actually, with all the time travel episodes we had, I am my own grandfather.
This confirms my theory that we are doomed.
Hardly. Tearing your shirt and meeting pretty girls isn't "Saving the galaxy."
Yes -- your reputation, like your gut, precedes you.
Populating the Galaxy you mean.
We Pickhards are a proud but flatulent family...
If you did it right the first time, then I wouldn't be here now!!!
The thought of the Galaxy depending on You to save it is frightening enough that I might need diapers!
Boy, you are a fossil!
I have to deal with the Bored, if you ever saw them you'd NEED daipers
It must've been tough to do in a horse-drawn starship!
At least he never wore a girdle,Tribble head!
Saving alien babes is more like it!
Oh yeah? Well, I'm bald and man enough to show it.
Well, here's your chance to do it again. After all, my grandfather still wears diapers.
That certainly explains why the galaxy's in its current state.
The Klingoffs have a saying. "We did not have a word for fear until we met Gym Quark. We also did not have words for laughable, whiny, and over-acting"
You had the benefit of loose morals, stilted dialouge, and foam rubber aliens.
Go ahead, make quips. We'll see who piles rocks on whom.
And I'll still be out there when you're under a pile of rocks.
If you'd done a proper job back then we wouldn't be in this fix now.
Yes, but now first contact does not involve removing your uniform.
Diapers weren't invented that far back.
And after 3 generations we're still fixing the mess you left behing.
But at least all in my family learned to live without diapers.
And I believe yours need to be changed.
By the way, your pants are dripping!
And the galaxy is still paying the price!
little green woman
Didn't you mean great-great-great-grandfather?
At the rate you got around, you could BE my grandfather!
Yeah! Everything you believe in is real in the nexus!
I'll keep that in mind while you're taking your nap.
At least I can tug my shirt without tearing it!
You call chasing after women and talking computers into suicide "saving the galaxy"?
Yepp! You sure look that old!
At least I am confortable with my baldness!!!
Idon't care I'm still not changing you!
How ironic that you now wear diapers.
Well grab your wipes captain, there's still one more mess to clean up.
Well, if Sev Fleet would install bathrooms none of us would have to wear them.
"What?! No pauses in your dialogue to extend your screen time?"
"Yes, my grandmother mentioned you."
It seems you and the diaper have more in common, You're both full of it.
And now you're wearing diapers, and I'm saving the galaxy.
And yet he carried the load better than you!
And I see your now wearing them as well.
Finder the Bard
By the way, my grandmother wants her girdle back.
I knew it! Your hair isn´t your own!
And boy does it show
Now you're the grandfather in diapers and I'm saving you're career.
You're so old that you're back in diapers!
You were out SEDUCING the Galaxy when my Grandfather was in Diapers!
Actually you were out saving the galaxy when my great-grandfather was still in diapers
Actually, my grandfather is STILL wearing diapers!
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