|Sev Trek: The Comic Strip|
The life of a red shirted ensign. Here's a little change in perspective as we see Sev Trek life from the point of view of the red shirted ensigns.
|Other Punchlines||These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition. This week's winning punchline was written by FerengiBert. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.|
Ensign Anonymous - I hear the first ensign to the transploder room gets a free commemoration plaque!
Ensign Anonymous - At least they gave you a name
Ensign Anonymous-Don't worry. You can always return as the Expendable-B . . .
Ensign Anonymous: Whatever you do, don't say "I think I've found something"
Ensign Anonymous- Want me to help you think of a line? How about "Captain, look out for that..."? No? Would "I'll see if it's been defused" be any better?
Ensign Expendable - Darnit! Why couldn't I have died in that Fantasy Planet Episode?
Ensign Anonymous - I'd laugh but im schedualled to die next episode.
Ensign Anonymous: Don't feel bad. Maybe you'll even get to say something!
Ensign Anonymous - Guess I'll be getting that promotion after all.
Ensign Anonymous: Hey, I got turned into a block of salt and I survived!
Ensign Expendable - "OK, it's not funny anymore. Give me back my Gold shirt."
Ensign Anonymous - I told you to get a note from your mom.
Ensign Anonymous - So now that you're dead, what are you going to do with the rest of your life?
Ensign Anonymous- You should have known it was bad to bootlick Quirk for assignments.
Ensign Anonymous - Cheer up; at least you won't have to see Quirk's chest again.
Ensign Anonymous - Heh heh... lucky *I* signed up for the double episode contract..
Ensign Expendable - But I just died last week!
Ensign Anonymous - Don't worry. I hear stormbloopers can't hit the broadside of an ensign.
Ensign Expendable: I knew that name would come back to haunt me!
Ensign Expendable - Thats what I get for wanting screentime.
Hope Q. Janeway
Ensign Anonymous - It's okay, Harlan Ellison wrote the script.
Ensign Anonymous:"See you next week after my own death!"
Ensign Expendable - Goodbye, no claims bonus.
Ensign Anonymous: If you stand behind Quirk, You'll get in a fight and die; if you speak to someone, You die; if you touch something alien, you die; and if you get through the mission alive, the transploder has a nasty habit of losing you!! I'll miss you old friend!
little green woman
Ensign Expendable - They wanna get rid of me before my warranty runs out!
Both- When will the red shirt madness end.
Ensign Anonymous: Forgot to sign the "onboard duty only" forms?
Ensign Anonymous- You just had to show Quirk a picture of your girlfriend.
Ensign Anonymous: Still think it's funny that I got latrine duty?
Ensign Anonymous: You always SAID you looked forward to your last day as an ensign!
Ensign Anonymous: I'd tell you to be careful, but who would I be kidding?
Mouse - Jefferies tube 32
Ensign Anonymous - Luckily I flunked the screaming class at the Academy!
Mouse - jefferies tube 32
Ensign Anonymous- Don't worry, it's a two parter!
Ensign Anonymous: Don't worry buddy, I'll finish your drink.
Ensign Anonymous-Don't worry, at least one character a week gets resurrected around here.
Ensign Expendable - Now I know why Spook went away chuckling after he said "Live long and prosper" this morning...
Lt. Brad Gentry
Ensign Anonymous - At least nobody will be able to see you bleed. That's why they give you a red shirt, ya know?
Ensign Anonymous - Time for your 15 minutes of flame!!!
Ensign Expendable - See ya on Bonanza in a few weeks, Sam.
Ensign Anonymous- Maybe the next movie will be "The Search for Expendable".
Ensign Anonymous - I told you they were making cutbacks!
Ensign Anonymous - any famous last words?
Ensign Anonymous- Break a leg!
Ensign Anonymous - Dibs on your bunk
Ensign Expendable - Another one of those "Fatal Away Missions" with the Captain again, eh?
Anonymous: If I were you, I'd change my shirt or request a demotion first.
Mouse - jefferies tube 32
Ensign Expendable - Can't we send Ensign Suicidal instead?
Expendable: Someday they're gonna invent a hollowdeck so they can kill us without leaving the ship...
Anonymous: Why'd you go out with Nurse Crabapple? I told you dating main characters is fatal!
Ensign Anon - Take my advice. We're not the secret service and Quirk's not the president. It's okay to duck.
Ensign Expendable - Potentially?! Every Away mission is fatal, as far as ensigns are concerned!
Ensign Anonymous - You should have asked for a nice safe console-job like me!
both Ensign Anonymous and Ensign Expendable - I hate those nicknames they give us!
Ensign Anonymous- Don't forget you line is: "Captain! What's that... Aaaaahhhhh!!!!!!"
Ensign Anonymous- Too bad you used up all your sick days.
Ensign Expendable - B-b-b-but it's Ensign Deadmeat's turn!
Ensign Expendable - I always said you had a lot of potential.
Ensign Anonymous: That means you, phaser-fodder!
Ensign Anonymous - Don't worry. I'm sure "potentially fatal" is just a figure of speech.
Ensign Expendable - You'd think they'd be a little more subtle...
Ensign Expendable - I have nothing to fear but evil ensign-killing creatures.
Ensign Anonymous -Guess whos contract didn't renew.
Ensign Expendable - They don't like me! They really don't like me!
Ensign Expendable - I got a Harvard education for this?
Ensign Anonymous - So, you said Quirk was overweight?
Ensign Anonymous - No space babes for you!
Ensign Expendable - What's the worst thing that could happen?
Ensign Anonymous - See. I told you the Captain WAS seeing her.
Ensign Expendable - Mom told me that my name would be a liability in SevFleet!
Ensign Anonymous - Do you want me to say last rites now, or when what's left of you gets back?
Ensign Anonymous - don't worry die happy
The Great Wizzard
Ensign Expendable: Hey, I already died last week!
Ensign Expandable- I wonder how anyone could survivetill leutanat!
Ensign Expendable - I'm dead, Gym!
Ensign Expendable - But I've just cleaned my uniform from the last time!
Ensign Anonymous: When they say "potentaily", they mean 100% potential for you!
Ensign Expendable - I hope whatever we're facing is color-blind!
Ensign Expendable - Typical. It would be the day that my yellow shirt is in the wash!
Ensign Anonymous/Ensign Expendable - Dont worry it will never happen to us
Ensign Anonymous-Ask not for whom the intercom tolls..
The Great Wizzard
Ensign Expendable: One day before the next paycheck!
LtJg Hejira Hayes
Ensign Anonymous - Don't worry, you've got a scantily clad green alien babe killing you.
Grinning guy - I TOLD you not to pull Leonard's ears during filming!
Ensign Anonymous: Sorry about washing my shirt with yours!!
Ensign Anonymous: "I always knew you had potential!"
Ensign Anonymous- Yeehaa! I'll have my quarters all to myself!
Ensign Expendable - darn, you're my third best friend this month
Ensign Expendable - I'll go if it's the last thing I do
Ensign Expendable - Remind me to change my name if I survive!
Ensign Anonymous-You were saying about your retirement?
Ensign Expendable - I don't care if he is the Captain...I ain't going!
Ensign Anonymous: I told you, you should have signed up for random corridor walking duty.
Ensign Anonymous: Looks like I won't be paying you back after all!
Ensign Expendable - Why do they even bother with the "potentially"?
Defiant NX 74205
Ensign Anonymous - I told you to take off the bullseye on your back
Ensign Expendable - I knew i shouldn't have been late when they were handing out the colored shirts.
Ensign Anonymous/We'll send the hazard pay to your next of kin. Ensign Expendable - Two days till I transfer to stellar cartography!
Ensign Anonymous - Time for your 15 seconds of fame
the little red caboose
Ensign Expendable/ I'd kill myself, but then they couldn't
Ensign Anonymous - Ratings week. Someone has to die.
the little red caboose
Ensign Anonymous/It couldn't of happened to a nicer kid!
the little red caboose
Ensign Anonymous: I've seen so many of you come and go...and go....and go...
the little red caboose
Ensign Anonymous: And they were just about to make you a regular too!
Ensign Anonymous- Dear Mrs. Expendable, I knew your husband well..
Ensign Anonymous: "Potentially"? Now *that* is optimistic!!!
Ensign Expendable: "No! I don't have life insurance yet!!!"
Ensign Anonymous: Make sure you're wearing clean underwear!
Ensign Anonymous - Just don't wander more than five feet away from the main characters and you should be safe.
Ensign Annonymous - I guess red just isn't your color.
Ensign Anonymous - I told you not to insult his hair line.
Ensign Expendable - Uh . . . I'll just tell the captain it's against my religion. That should work what with the PC directive being so important to him.
Ensign Anonymous-Can I have your autographed picture of Oohlala?
Ensign Anonymous-Don't taste,look at, or step on anything, okay?
Ensign Anonymous: Whatever you do, DONT draw your phizzer!
Ensign Anonymous: Just stay close to a major character.
Ensign Anonymous: It won't be so bad. I died on the last two away missions.
Ensign Expendable - I wonder if it's too late for a transfer?
Ensign Expendable - Maybe I'll get a good fight scene...
Ensign Anonymous-Just a question;Do you know how to fake a cramp?
Anonymous: Give Scotty a box of sweets, and he'll beam you up before the trouble starts.
Anonymous: No, I don't want to take care of your cat.
Anonymous: Don't bother including me in your will. I'll be dead soon anyway.
Anonymous: I take you already have made your will?
Ensign Expendable - I guess it's time for me to be killed by a poorly costumed alien on an obviously fake set.
Expendable: You're sure all those main characters started as an ensign?
Expendable: See you in the afterlife.
Ensign Expendable - It's not fair! I haven't even had any lines yet!
Anonymous: He was a great friend... Oh, you're still alive
Ensign Anonymous - I'll be ya five bucks you don't make it back . . . better pay now.
The Crazy Zonie
Ensign Anonymous- Take my advice, don't stand between Gym and his alien babe. Or anywhere near for that matter.
The Crazy Zonie
Ensign Anonymous- Hehehe... and all I have to do is sit in front of the weapons console.
Ensign Anonymous - Aaah! I'm too young to boldly go!
Ensign Anonymous: Maybe this'll be my lucky day, and Spook'll get killed instead...
Ensign Anonymous - Just remember rule #6 - When the Captain tells you to circle around, drop to the ground
Ensign Anonymous - Just don't get separated from the female guest star and you'll be fine!
Ensign Expendable - What!?! B-b-but my agent promised me a multiple episode deal!
Ensign Anonymous - So much for your contract negotiation meeting.
Ensign Anonymous - What I've heard is once you beam down, you suddenly can't speak, and you just stand around and get shot
Ensign Expendable - So anyway, I had to fix the transploder, but all I had was a fork...
Ensign Anonymous - This may not be the right time to ask, but can i have your tricorder collection when youre gone?
Ensign Anonymous: But, I wore my Lucky Red Shirt today !
Ensign Expendable - I just hate it when they're feeling honest
Ensign Anonymous-Hey, at least this time they've only said it's 'potentially' fatal
Ensign Anonymous - Quick, replicate me a yellow shirt!
Ensign Expendable- Schidzo was right, "Ensign come, Ensign go"
Ensign Expendable- Oh man, I hadn't even seen an Orion slave girl yet!
Ensign Expendable- Join Starfleet! My guidance conselor said. See the Universe! He said!
Ensign Expendable - Bet ya 20 credits you get mangled!
Ensign Anonymous- You never should have written that review of The Infernal Frontier for the ship's newsletter.
Ensign Anonymous- I guess your mom will get her wish for you going to med school. To bad it's as a cadaver.
Ensign Expendable - When they gave me a red shirt, I thought I would be in Engineering.
Ensign Expendable - Man, I knew I shouldn't have made a pass at the Captain's Yoeman.
Ensign Expendable - Well, perhaps you'll get a line now...
Expend - What would you like me to say in your eulogy?
Ensign Expendable - Do I still have time to change into a blue shirt?
Ensign Expendable: - I won't wait up for you.
Ensign Anonymous: You lucky stiff!
Ensign Expendable - It's OK. Just stay in sight of the regulars.
Anon - I'd like that $10 you owe me.
Anon - Can I borrow money for lunch?
Expend - Darn it! We haven't even done the opening credits yet.
Ensign Anonymous - Don't you hate Mondays?
Ensign Anonymous - Any last requests?
Ensign Anonymous - Any dying words I should relay to your mother?
Ensign Anonymous - They say never ask for whom the bell tolls -- but I'm relieved the intercom just buzzed for you.
Ensign Anonymous - It's not many who have the privilege of knowing their end is near
Ensign Anonymous - We who are about to die, salute you
Ensign Anonymous - Nice knowing you.
Ensign Anonymous - I always wanted the top bunk
Ensign Anonymous : Anyone could die on this mission... either you, Mister Spock or Captain Kirk... well...
Ensign Expendable - I need a field promotion within 2 minutes or I'm dead
Ensign Anonimous-Dont laugh, you`re working on a console today
Ensign Anonymous-I should have known dating a main character was not a good idea
Ensign Expendable -I told you not to interact with the main characters
Ensign Anonymous: "No panic! I simply take myself out of danger-zone by not staying near the team!"
Ensign Expendable: Who's idea was it to call it the transploder room??
Ensign Annonomous: Boy am i glad im in waste extraction!!
Ensign Anonymous:Are you gonna finish that?
Ensign Expendable - Yes, I do think it's too late to request a transfer.
Ensign Expendable - Maybe you'll defy the odds! Yeah, and maybe Spook loves humans.
Ensign Expendable - Red Shirt Insurance...you should have thought of it sooner.
Ensign Expendable - That'll teach you to tell toupee jokes.
Ensign Anonymous - And I hear Quirk's already COMFORTING your girlfriend!
Ensign Expandable - I'll give you the money when you get back!
Ensign Expendable - There but for the grace of Roddenberry go I.
Ensign Expendable -Give my regards to Ensigns Deadman and Badluck!
Ensign Anonymous-Maybe this'll be the day they kill a regular!
Ensign Expendable: Don't worry. I'll handle the funeral arrangements.
Ensign Expendable: Maybe you oughta buy a new shirt.
Ensign Expendable: Red really isn't your color.
Ensign Anonymous: Would changing my shirt color change my fate?
Ensign Anonymous: So much for living long and prospering.
Ensign Anonymous: Is it too late to insure myself?
Ensign Anonymous: I knew red just wasn't my color.
Grinning one : I'll put in a good word for you at the funeral.
Ensign Anonymous: Aww, and only two days till I made lieutenant!
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