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This week's idea was suggested on the Ideas Board by Sirius B.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

Soran vs Captain Quirk. This week features our first caricature of the evil Doctor Soran, the second Fantasy Island host to attempt to kill Captain Quirk (and finally succeeding).


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition. This week's winning punchline was written by MindMelda. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.


Jim McNamara

Oh, I see you're one of those "TNG" fans.

Tom Hyde

Those who don't remember history are condemed to BECOME history.

kit

Oh, so now I'm an extra with a red shirt

kit

I twice the man I used to be!

Joris de Gruyter

That's it!!! I refuse to work with these amateurs!!!

Andrew Craven

Take another good look...

Chris

Interesting ... question... Allow me... to explain... as ... slowly... as... possible.

Graeme

I am your worst nightmare. *I've ALWAYS wanted to say that*

joe

I knew I should have worn the torn shirt

gunnar

Damn! That whole convention circus sure isnīt anymore what it used to be!

The Traveler

Oh, come on. I was out womanizing before your Great-Grandparents where in diapers!

The Traveler

Don't you ever read history; He's Jam--whups, I don't get paid extra to read Pickhard's lines!

The Traveler

Man, Pichkard said we'd be saving a planet full of women...

SiriusB

Massive girth,bad toupee,you do the math,Professor.

Derek

Mental Note: Stay in Nexus next time!

LtJg Hejira Hayes

Same as you: Worm Food.

Jim McNamara

Kids today. No respect for the classics.

Mark

You, twenty years from now.

Mark

Everything you'd want to be!

Mark

You don't get out much, do you!

Mark

Obviously, you're not a space babe!

ryan

If that's the riddle for getting accross the bridge, this is gonna be easier than I thought!

ryan

The man that's gonna knock that 5 o'clock shadow right off your alien face!

Agee

I'm an old, fat guy with a toupe!

Spectrum

You must've mistaken me for my alter-ego. Speaking of egos....

Robert Foster

Perhaps a shoulder roll will jog your memory?

Commander

Three old men fighting in the desert. This is going to kill me.

Peter

My name is..hey..wait a second..how did this red shirt get on me? Oh great Im going to die in this movie. I hope youre happy

Justin Hamming

I'm the "cliffhanger"!!

Bill Harris

You're kidding, right?

gunnar

Quirk to turbolift control: I know I said "Bridge" but I thought the meaning was clear...

Mark Edmondson

Who cares, it looks like I've lost weight since I died!

Delvin

The man who keeps the toupee manufacturers in business!

Quip

I'm the guy who kicked God's butt-- still wanna fight?

Quip

I'm Captain Quirk! Where's this "dangerous villian" Pickhard promised me?

Quip

For an evil genius, you sure don't know much!

Quip

Hey, I didn't come here to be insulted!

Quip

Drat, I was hoping to kick your butt WITHOUT lengthy introductions.

Quip

Ok, you're harmless-- where's this "dangerous madman" I'm supposed to fight?

Quip

Don't make me SING!

sess-pity

I'm... Hey, get the script over here, will you?

sess-pity

How did you keep your belly so small?

sess-pity

Pickhard. Should I take off my toupee to prove it?

sess-pity

That's it! Someone else closer to the camera than me! I QUIT!!!

sess-pity

D@mn, this movie was my last best hope for getting fans.

sess-pity

Don't you kids do history at school?

sess-pity

The guy who just waisted his 9th live. Euh.. 9000th live.

sess-pity

Have some respect for the eldery, will you?

sess-pity

William Shootme.

sess-pity

CUT!!! I can't breathe and hold in my belly at the same time!

sess-pity

Now ask friendly, without the 'heck', and with a 'please'.

Chris

You may remember me from such TV shows as TOS, The Terrors of Tekwar, and dial T for Hooker

SevFan [Random N.]

You might remember me from such shows as...

valerie parv

I *have* been away too long

§evqui§

Gym Quirk, intergalatic hero and all round ladies man!

Chris Fortier

Never mind! Do you... happen.. to have... a cute sister??

D. Lerious

I know who you are, but what am I?

Alodia Dakar

The name's Kirk. James Kirk. And you're in my spotlight.

Mike Wille

Finally, a question I can answer without asking Spook or Buns.

Mike Wille

If you have to ask, you wouldn't understand.

Arthur Patterson

I'm the sexiest man in the galaxy!

Osprey

Just for that you don't get an autograph.

Q

Direct Hit! Ego holding at 67%!!

Lieutenant Eurique

Every married woman's dream, and married men's worst nightmare...

Q

Geez, what galaxy are YOU from?

Q

This is the worst sci-fi convention I've ever been to!

Lieutenant Eurique

So, your grandmother never told you...

Q

Better surrender now, my trubble hairpeice is trained to kill on command!

Q

Enough chit-chat where are the babes? Pickhard promised there would be babes!!!

Dryad47

Why don't you take a look at my autobiography while, Pickhard and I diable the missle

Radioactive Tribble

The only captian with non-biodegradeable hair

Annette Searle

"Prepare to be seriously upstaged."

Puke

Ah, he's not a nerd. This could prove more difficult then I thought.

Spectrum

GASP!!! Ego.... wounded.... need...... adoring female fan.... stat!

Mystic Orangutan

You forgot your lines too?

Mystic Orangutan

I was hoping you could tell me.

murdoc

Out of time, fighting crime, with a lousy toupee which ... doesn't rhyme.

Viking Vikingsson

I am the Captain on this bridge

radioactive_ tribble

*what* the heck are you?

Kimpire

First you destroy a space station. Then you want to destroy a planet. And now you don't even know my name?!?!? That's the last straw!

JDSandara

Must be the toupee, ever since I've changed it no one recognizes me.

JDSandara

Oh, so you haven't seen my priceline commercials?

JDSandara

Haven't you ever heard of Tamborine Man?

Chris

You know, I've been dead so many times I'm starting to forget!

Chris

I didn't think I was drawn that badly!!

Shark

I'm THE good loking captian; Captain Quirk

T'pek

I am THE SHATNER!

the cheekster

I know the script was bad, but you really should have read it.

the cheekster

It doesn't matter. This movie sucks. Somebody just kill me.

the cheekster

Let me just say. I knew Mr. Roarke. Mr. Roarke was an arch nemisis of of mine. You sir are no Mr. Roarke.

AndieX

Someone who certainly didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!

neil owen

so my reputation dosen't stretch as far as my gut

Nodrog

That depends... which series is this?

Llachau

Calm down--the ship that's crashing here in a minute has enough babes for everyone!

Llachau

Never mind that--what have you done with Tattoo?

Llachau

I'm a best-selling sci-fi author--no, really!

Sarah

I can't hold my stomach in and talk!

Sarah

What? Didn't you read the script either?

Cordavin Lon

Talk to the hair...

009

You can find out in my brand new book.

Justin Allen

My name.... is Gym Quirk... you'll kill me.....I should prepare to die!

Wendee Rae

Could introduce me to those Klingoff sisters?

Wendee Rae

Gym Quirk, and the guy shutting down your rocket is Pickhard.

Inqbus

Savior of the universe, at your service.

Lantern

The only person on this planet without grey hair

Justin Allen

It doesn't matter, cause i'm gonna get 23rd century on your butt!

Justin Allen

Me, oh round here they just call me the MAN!

Lieutenant Eurique

"I was out exploring the galaxy, while your grandfather was wearing diapers..."

Potswilly

None of your business.

Cmdr. Solomon

I'm the only actor that matters.

Cmdr. Solomon

I'm probably your father. Lord knows I've "sown my wild oats" enough to be your father.

Rousell

Quirk, James Quirk. You reaise that even if you kill me, you are destined to fail as the star of your own drama series. And I will have the last laugh. Ha...ha ha.

Cmdr. Solomon

I'm probably your father. Let me check my date book.

Rousell

Quirk, James Quirk. You reaise that you have no chance. Even if I die, I can bring myself back to life in a highly profitible book series.

Lt. Brad Gentry

I don't know, but I hope the suspension wire holds.

Griffin

Aw, come on! Cool uniform, big gut, fake hair! Like you dont know.

Griffin

I'm a man on an endless mission to seek out hot alien babes.

Griffin

Aparently my gut hasn't preceded me.

Kevin

Quirk, James Quirk... and there's a T in there... somewhere!

TomDew

An over-used plot device.

D. Barrow

Someone who just won't die.

Christopher Michael

I'm going to replace you as the movie's recurring vilian!

The Crazy Zonie

watch it! One good jump, and I'll take out this whole bridge.

The Crazy Zonie

My name is Gym Quirk. You have insulted my fame, now prepair to die!

Quip

I don't know whether to laugh or kick your butt-- guess I'll have to do both!

Quip

You must be new to this universe!

Quip

The question is, why did I come back NOW instead of a MONTH ago?

Quip

Pickhard's right, I AM needed!

Yaaargh

As I tell the chicks; No small talk, let's get down to business!

Yankee Kiwi

Why, I'm a lean, mean, fighting machine....without the "lean".

Kimpire

It seems we have a failure to communicate here

Kimpire

If I told you, the pauses would take the entire movie

Kimpire

It appears that whoever drew your head forgot to insert the brain first

Polson

Captain.......Gym....what was....the question again?

three-of-seven

C'mon, Take a guess!

RobRoy

Your worst nightmare--a captain who actually DOES something!

E-Nice

Pickhard needed my help to fight you? *cough*wuss*cough*

E-Nice

No, seriously, where's Khan?

E-Nice

What is about me and killing off Fantasy Island characters who lived for a few hundred years in Sev Trek timeline?

E-Nice

Your reverse psychology won't work on me. No autographs.

sess-pity

That's it! You just cracked my ego!

sess-pity

The director of a terrible mistake.

sess-pity

I know I have a bad hair day, but surely you recognize your father!

sess-pity

The inventor of the dramatic..... pauses...

sess-pity

Telling... you... would... take.... too... long....

sess-pity

The father of half the galaxy.

Blanchard

I'm Quirk, The only man in Sevfleet who can beam down in a red shirt unharmed!

Mouse - jefferies tube 32

Serves you right for missing rehearsals!

mouse - jefferies tube 32

A quirk of nature!

Mouse - jefferies tube 32

I'm not sure but you look like crap!!

8 of 12

The last best hope for this planet!

Niall Johnson

Bloody NextGen Junkie

Miss Holly

I'm not only the president of Hair Club for Men, I'm also a client.

CKAu

The only Starship Captain with Great hair!!!

Johnny Cool

The NamesQuirk, James Quirk Sev007 License to Kick your Butt

Jim Mcnamara

Weel, you're obviously blinded by my good looks!

Joona Palaste

I am Gym Quirk, and this was supposed to be MY movie.

Cordavin Lon

I suddenly realized that I look alot like Scotty!!!

Cordavin Lon

I'll tell you after I figure out why the heck I left the Nexus.

Arval

Nobody, I just came here to steal some stuff for Tek War.

Cordavin Lon

Ask me after the lipsuction.

Cordavin Lon

Chick-o-meter reads negative. I wanna go back to the Nexus!

jdwiseman

I'm the guy who's going to kick the butt of the weakest Trek villian yet.

jdwiseman

I have been, and always shall be, Spook's friend....Of course that means nothing to you...

jdwiseman

I'm the Captain on the barge. Damn! BRIDGE! Can we go back in time and fix that?

jdwiseman

Forget my name. Notice the slimming illusion my vests gives me.

jdwiseman

I'm just about the only reason this movie is worth watching.

jdwiseman

I'm worth my weight in gold. And let me tell you, that's a LOT of gold!

jdwiseman

I'm the bridge between two casts....HEY....Bridge....deeeeeep.

jdwiseman

I am not only the Captain of, but also a client of the Hair Club for men.

jdwiseman

I'm a bit too old to remember exactly.

Jim McNamara

You want my real name, or the name I tell my girlfriends?

Roget

Someone who can get you a GREAT deal on spacefares!

Roget

Mr. Tambourine Maaaaan (I could not resist)

chris

The writer of three books based on this movie!

valerie parv

That's *Admiral* Heck to you, mister

valerie parv

your nexus-door neighbour

MindMelda

Hmm, looks like Squatty's stunt double if I don't lay off the grub!

Lj

I am youre worst gutmare

MindMelda

Gym Quirk, and I'm entered in the "Most Resurrected Sev Trek Character"Contest, so hurry up and kill me!

Kay Irons

I'm TJ Hooker and you are under arrest.

MindMelda

I'm Gym Quirk, here to save millions and promote my new book.

Mav

God's gift to women.

Sam Fergusson

A man with an eerie feeling this bridge isn't solid...

Sam Fergusson

I'm Quirk. He's Pickhard. And YOU need a shave!

Sam Fergusson

You don't recognise the girth? Tribble wig? Anything?! GOD NO! I've lost my fans!!

Sam Fergusson

I'm confident the bridge can hold me up. What's that creak sound?

Dacron

I'm here for my fantasy. Where's Tattoo?

Mere-chan

Allow me...to pause...before I introduce...myself...

Rousell

You...overpaid...for..that...missile. You..could have gotten it..for..half price at...sevline.com!

Star Gal

Qwirk. Captian Quirk. Women adore me, men wish they were me.

The Sisko

A bad crossover stunt.

CmdrChang

Gee, was I really gone that long?

Brett

Your worst fantasy

Raistlin

Fat belly, ugly toupee, isnt it obvious?

Maria Spano

I'm every woman's dream come true.....sorry what was your question???

KaC

Didn't you read that star on my dressing room?

Maria Spano

Captain Ego!

Quip

You don't KNOW? Ego...hit...losing..strength...

Quip

Oh, do YOU have a lot to learn...

Quip

I left immortality in syndication for THIS?

Quip

Great, only one fan, and he doesn't even recognize me!

Quip

Pickhard was right, I AM needed here!

Quip

I see I've come back none too soon!

Quip

Time for a little lesson in history!

Quip

I'm... er... don't tell me I'll get it...

Quip

Wow, I HAVE been gone a long time!

Quip

You don't get out much, do you?

Q

If you dont know then you need to GET A LIFE!!!

Q

Captian trubble head to the rescue!!

1of69

Fine, I get it, in front of your friends you don't know me right?

Q

Why I'm uh, uhhhh, LINE!

1of69

You don't remember me from last night?

just

Here's a clue: History..considers..me..dead.."

hogi

I'm Pickhard with full hair

s

well, what planet are you from?

Shawn McNiel

I'm the bald Captain who's ashamed of his baldness.

T'Shael of Vulcan

What, you don't recognize this charming smile?

Megan Dax

An egotistic maniac!

Megan Dax

The... only... Sev captain... with... hair!

Namgubed the Merry Elf

I've always wanted to kick your butt, Clockwork Orange Boy!

starling

careful,or i'll write you into my next book.

EofS

Thats a new experience

dax_curzon @hotmail.com

Gym E Quirk, prepare to be thrown of my bridge

white shirt

Your worst nightmare, oh wait you don't have a wife or daughter.

Sweeney Todd

Probably your father- how old are you again?

Sweeney Todd

The reason this film makes money...

Sweeney Todd

I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok- I chop wood in my nexus stays...

EofS

No-one's ever needed to ask before

Nobody

Somebody too important to die. Thats who!

Mark

The ghost of Sev past.

Mark

Ha, ha, ha! That's a good one!

Mark

The name's Gym Quirk. Surrender now or I will start reading you my poetry!

ryan

Quirk. James Quirk. I'm here to kick your alien butt.

ryan

I'm a three hundred year old dead admiral, but I can still wup ya like Pickhard coundn't!

Sevanonymous

A stunt man for Quirk...now, you gonna shove me off a brige or not?

EofS

Tolian, I am your father

ScottE Bemeup

Your elder. Have some respect.

MindMelda

I'm here to settle the"If Quirk is a better fighter than Pickhard" debate.

ScottE Bemeup

That's for me to know, and you to find out.

ScottE Bemeup

A washed up actor with nothing to lose.

Craig Lillie

I'm Quirk! Oh GOD! I'm wearing the RED shirt this time! ARRRRGH!

Craig Lillie

I'm Captain Quirk, and I just taught Beta a song about lifeforms! Hehehe!!!

Raptor1

The only guy in this movie that hits back.

Nintendo Guru

Just another captain on the bridge...

Nintendo Guru

Need a hint? Allow me to rip my shirt...

Raptor1

A ham with a really bad rug

Craig Lillie

LOOK Behind you, some crazy woman driver's crashing the Enterforprize!

Riff

A far more successful television actor.

Mark

Oh, come on! You're joking, right?

Mark

I am the Severation's top stud!

Mark

Well, do you want your pizza or not?

Mark

Wow! You're the first person to ask me that!

Janus

I'm the guy who stole you back from paradise. Was I worth it?

Janus

I'm the distraction. Oops.

Janus

I could ask you the same thing

ChrisB

An actor who doesn't understand the meaning of the word 'dead'!

Theodore Moser

Don't you watch tv? I'm Gym Quick.

Mark Underhill

What! You mean you're NOT in my fan club?

dave g

Gym Tea Quirk. Sevship captain, singer, writer, director, and internet spokesman.

HaHaRich!

Actually, I could be your grandfather...

Wendee Rae

Why don't you slip on a red shirt and find out.

todd

"I knew my hair plugs didn't take well!!"

Hanover Fisk

Dammit, Pikhard told me you were a chick.

Jason L.

Maybe I shouldn't have eaten all those donuts the past couple years.

Kimpire

Who cares, just let me give you my autograph

Kimpire

The only thing that matters is I have a better haircut!

Kimpire

I'm simply the greatest person the world has ever known!

Kimpire

It depends on how much you'll pay for my autograph

Commander

Finally, someone who is not a fan!

Derek

I'm here to distract you while Pickhard disables your machine.

Derek

Who cares? Let's get to it; my shirt hasn't been ripped in 20 years!

The Great Wizzard

You should know me. I exiled your predecessor Ricardo Montalban to your island.

DeuceV

You mean you... can't tell from my... speach?

DeuceV

I'm the guy who's going to sing you to death!!

Adam Elliott

You can't be serious.

Adam Elliott

I like your sense of humor.

Adam Elliott

So, you're not a fan then?

Adam Elliott

I can't believe you don't know!

Adam Elliott

You mean no one told you?

Spiner

No, you have to ask a "yes" or "no" question!

Spiner

I'm nobody to be trifled with. That's all you ever need know!

Spiner

Your fattest nightmare!

Spiner

Hallo. My name is Captain Quirk. You kill many people. Prepare to die.

DeuceV

I was the director of the last odd numered sev trek, get the picture?

Spiner

Just the baddest thing to hit the 24th century!

DeuceV

I'm the man who's... LINE?

Spiner

This looks like a job for... SuperQuirk!

Francis Miranda

Isn't it time for you to ask me what my fantasy should be?

Spiner

Just another man on Sev Trek who dies more than once!

Anti-Cornflake Girl

Yo mama!

Francis Miranda

An aging actor brought back for no apparent sensible reason.

Francis Miranda

You don't know me? Well you're male. I don;t blame you.

Anti-Cornflake Girl

Nevermind...who...I...am, how's...my...toupee...er...hair?

Francis Miranda

You've lived for 400 hundred years and you don't know who the heck I am?

evay

I'm... the captain... of the... Enterforaprize... mister!

Hawkwing

If you had attended the rehearsal, you wouldn't have to ask!

8 of 12

Somewhere between a bad dream and insomnia.

TJD

He's the bald one... I'm the fat one

TJD

Oh, get a life!

Michael Kraft

With the amount of women I've been with I'm probably your father.

TJD

Oh, get a life!

gD

I'm the cause of everlasting reruns, 3 followup series, I don't know how many films, and thousands of addicts, getting scared already?

MindMelda

Guessing from my Red Shirt, Cannon Fodder!

MindMelda

I guess all those TV commercials were for nothing!

evay

Note to self: Get new agent, send out more press releases, update head shots.

Corsair

Errr, Captain on the Bridge?

Wilco

I'm the guy with a head full of trubble!

Prakesh

I'm fine, thank you.

Corsair

I'm the Redshirt, this time anyway...

Corsair

The REAL star of this Franchise!

the girl from ipanema

You don't know? where have you been in the last hundred years, some fantasy island?

MindMelda

More importantly,How do I look?

the girl from ipanema

Never mind... So, do you have a sister?

MindMelda

The guy who's gonna kick your tail back to Fantasy Island!

MindMelda

Without my girdle and toupee, your worst nightmare!

MindMelda

I'm Quirk, I guess you don't recognize me with my shirt on!

mquirk

I'm Quirk, you jerk.

Tom Hyde

You obviously haven't seen my commercials

Kurt

Oh no, I ask the questions here and YOU are gonna fall off the bridge.

mgeoffrey

Ya know, if it wern't for my great acting ability, you wouldn't be asking that question right now...

The Great Wizzard

I'm the one conserving the last Trubble on his head.

mgeoffrey

Funny, I don't ask for names til the SECOND date.

John Fassbender

I'm not just a hair club customer, I'm gorgeous too.

mgeoffrey

I am ready for my death scene on this unstable bridge.

mgeoffrey

The never - ending Toupee

+PsychoPat+

I'm the 23rd century idiot who wears wool undies in the dessert.

G.B.A

Good question... sorry, which direction is the camera?

MindMelda

I'm Quirk, seducer of alien women and singer of cheesy songs!

G.B.A

Boy... chicks sure did look better at my time!

Mouse - jefferies tube 32

You HAVE been living on an another planet, haven't you?!

Kurt

I'll be dead by the time I 'd say it.

AndieX

I'm just the stunt double who does all the "fast talking" scenes. Otherwise this movie would last forever.

Haathi

I'm too Quirky for my shirt, too Quirky for my shirt...

Kurt

What's the matter? Never seen me with an unripped shirt?

AndieX

I'm the guy who overacts even when he dies.

Haathi

I'm the person with top billing!

Kurt

Oh you don't recognize me because my shirt isn't ripped.

Rik

I got myself a life! I suggest you do the same.

Haathi

Someone who shaves!

Philip Whitehead

An underpaid actor with a bad toupee!

Bill Harris

You've got a poor memory. It hasn't been *that* long since my last movie...

kit

Haven't you ever seen a Sevfleet Officer wearing a corset before?!?

J

The one who gets paid the most to do this film!

Flashdancer

I am your father... woops, wrong line!

The Great Wizzard

Pickhard! You told me there'd be a dozen women waiting for me! Why you...!

Flashdancer

Donīt steal my line, bud!

AndieX

I'm the guy who gets a zillion dollars for kicking your butt.

Pankin

The one who will kick your butt in a historical way!

J

The distraction!

J

I'm the troll who lives under this bridge!

Shlamko

Whoever I am, I'm making more money than you!

SFA

I come in peace and my phasor is set on vaporise

Shlamko

I'm you wife worst nightmare!

Philip Kerselaers

Must stall... overact...

wbsander

Stop! Those who cross the bridge of death must answer me these questions 3, ere the other side ye see.

Lordy

I`m the captain on this bridge!

Philip Kerselaers

The name's Quirk. Gym Quirk. Prepare to witness overacting...

puam

I'm wearing red... I have a hairpiece... I'm the soon to be dead captain!

AndieX

I'm the stunt double for Shatner. I do everything - except for the horseback riding.

The Great Wizzard

Gym T. Quirk. The One And Only.

The Great Wizzard

They can't have forgotten me! It was only 70 years!

The Great Wizzard

This movie is not called "Generations" for the age differences between Pickhard and the rest of his crew.

The Great Wizzard

Have I gained so much weight that my girdle can't support it any more?

M.D. Wattie

Quirk. Jim Quirk. A man with distinctly better grooming habits then your own.

The Great Wizzard

The one who busted the budget so that this movie suffers from a weak story distracted by an even weaker subplot.

The Great Wizzard

I directed "Sev Trek 5". This was a warning.

The Great Wizzard

You must be the only person in the whole galaxy who hasn't heard of me!

5618 (David)

I am the one who's wearing a red shirt!

5618 (David)

Are you sure you want to know?

DAZED AND CONFUSED

Ha, You say that now but...yes you say that now.

Norwegian Bajoran

Nice of you to ask!

The Great Wizzard

Lube, _I_ am your father! Just kidding.

The Great Wizzard

The typical 60's TV man. Butt kicking, womanizing and wearer of shirts that would come off at the slightest provocation.

The Great Wizzard

The one who's responsible for half the population of this quadrant.

Sean

Universe's greatest lover, sex god and overall good guy and hero, who the heck are you?

The Great Wizzard

I'll remove my hairpiece to help you find out.

John Lang

Here's a hint..."Row, row, row your boat..."

5618 (David)

I am the one who makes these movies! (surely the writers won't mind that)

John Lang

Let me rip my shirt...you'll know then.

5618 (David)

This is rescue 911... uhh I mean: I am... the embodyment... of 'science-fiction'.

John Lang

Someone who'll beat the tar outta you...unlike that pansy-waist Pickhard!

John Lang

Where's Heck? I'm from Iowa.

DAZED AND CONFUSED

My worst nightmare. I am old, going bald and no women seem to be attracted to me!

John Lang

Here' s some hints: "Sev Trek"....yellow shirt....long pauses....

5618 (David)

Don't mind about that. Where are the babes?

+PsychoPat+

HELLO!!! Captain on the bridge! Guess again.

The Great Wizzard

"Get a life!" Does that ring a bell?

lizzyc

I am Kirk, hear me roar

JC

If that's how you're going to be, you can forget about an autograph!

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