|Sev Trek: The Comic Strip|
Doyawanna destroys the Enterforaprize. It seems movies are just another excuse to destroy an Enterforaprize. This time around, she goes down after Counsellor Tryhard takes the helm for the first time. Maybe that's why they installed a joystick in the next model!
|Other Punchlines||These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition. This week's winning punchline was written by Corsair. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.|
no really - I'm sure we'll find *something* you're good at...
Steve "Slaan" Asselin
Never thought I would say this, but: I miss having Measly at the helm.
Nice landing...stick to counseling.
We have disposable ensigns than can do better than that
I don't think we need to worry about remembering where we've parked
I don't understand why they haven't made me captain yet.
Your drivers education must have been a crash course!
Doyawanna take the helm...Doyawanna take the blame.
Next time *I'm* driving
Craig E Laycock
Computer End Program: 'Joyride 1'
All I ask is a tall ship and a joystick to fly her with
Yes, I think he'll notice.
Let's see you "feel" your way out of this one.
You couldn't fly the ship for *five* minutes without crashing it?
So a 14 year-old can drive this thing, but YOU can't?
What do you mean, you "thought this was an Intrepid-class ship?"
The Reset button was in Engineering. You know, the part that BLEW UP!
What do you mean you thought we had a reset button?!?
I guess the producers won't be happy til we get to "Z".
No, I don't think Sev Fleet will accept"We drive on the other side of the planet on Betazed" excuse.
Unlike Forager, this ship doesn't have a reset button Counselor!
On the bright side... Christmas trees for everybody!
I knew I forgot to teach you something in that commander course...
When the captain said the line must be drown here, I don't think this is what he had in mind
No, we're NOT blaming this on sevspace
Coffe breaks are a no-no while at helm.
You've been demoted to the rank of tree planter.
You couldn't wait to fix your hair?
Dang! And i just washed the thing!
Repeat after me: "Shields up!"
The Props department isn't going to be happy.
Oh, you are so demoted.
What do you mean you thought Beta was flying?
I always thought Measly would be the one to crash the Enterforaprize....
Measly flew better than you! MEASLY!!! For shame!!
Clearing a path for the new Enterforaprize?
Betazoids have no depth perception? Now you tell me!
Next time you'll listen when I say we need to stop for gas!
That's the problem- you don't REASON with a helm control!
No, the ship was NOT in denial!
Not even the borg could destroy it . . .
You flew this ship like a blind man!
You think I'm going to let you shave my beard after this?!
Well you wanted to go the sceneic route
When I said "Watch the trees" I actually meant you should avoid them!
No, I don't think a lick of paint will work!
And the movie still isn't any good!
I shouldn't have helped you pass the lieutenant commander's exam...
That's it! we're changing the No-man/no-one voiceover back!
I'd report you, but nobody listens to stories about crashed saucers since that Roswell thing.
Congratulations you just killed all of Data's precious little lifeforms.
I know, I know...I was suprised too when Data swore.
carDASSian, WAR Drum and Darklight
This is the worst case of Space Rage I've ever seen!!
carDASSian and WAR Drum
Ever wondered why you have "Counseller" in front of your name and not HELMSMAN!!!!!
This ship had survived the borg invations, Q, Barf singing and it only took you a few seconds to destroy it!!
You can kiss the triple gold rating goodbye!
I never wanted three nacelles anyway!
I knew I shoulda sprung for the joystick...
Obviously, you require training wheels...
And to think you're Forager's only hope
So what ARE you good at ?
That's it, I'm installing a joystick
I'm sensing gross incompetence
I said: "DON'T take the helm"
What do you mean, "Did I pass ?" ???
No we cant blame this on sevspace.
You know Dr. Cruncher was just JOKEING when she said Measly was coming back.
Well thats ONE way to kill a fly.
If it wasn't just a scale model, I'd be ticked.
If anybody asks, a Romulan Warbird cut us off during a lane change...
See, when I say: "Level her out", it refers to your pitch...not the trees.
License and registration, please...
Okay... no more "excuse me, chocolate break" while you're flying!
Congratulations! You did what the Bored could not do!
TRRRRRRRYYYHHHARRRRDD! You got some s'plainings to do!
That's it young lady! You're grounded for a month!
This will NOT look good on my resume!
Pickhard finally goes on an away team and look what happens!
Youe supposed to hold down the clutch before we go to warp!
Next time I'll drive.
Well, some painting, some glue and noone will notice it.
Man, that's a lot of roadkill!
You just HAD to wait until the warrenty ran out didn't you!?
Its open displays of idiocy like this that will get the Bored to attack us!
WHEEEEEEEE!!! Lets do it again!!
At least your left blinker hasn't been on since Veridian VI.
Hum... I hope Starfleet paid the insurance.
You know, I never believed the stereotypes...
Its alright we'll just blame it on the android.
I think you took 'where no one has gone before' a little too literally
Fenderbender??? YOU HIT A PLANET!!!!
Don't look so shocked. We all knew Beta would say a bad word sooner or later...
Ensign Noname Redshirt
I knew they shouldn't have cancelled Driver's Ed at the Academy!
Well, we have enough trees to last through 50 years of Christmas parties!
I was afraid your little feet wouldn't reach the pedals...guess I was right!
You heard me. Extend your arms, close your eyes and touch your nose with your index finger 10 times...
Where'd you get your license from, a replicator?
And to think I let you near me with a razor!
Piker to Pichard. Request permission to demote Tryhard to red-shirt ensign
Yes, I think Pichard will notice.
Get off what's left of my bridge.
Damn! Our warranty doesn't cover movies.
I don't think anyone will be repeating the Tryhard Manuever...
I told you not to set the viewscreen to 'vanity mirror'!
You were a shuttle pilot once?
Do you have any idea how this affects our insurance rates?
That's 4 Enterforaprizes gone, just 22 to go!
OK -- next week, we'll practice warp drive ...
just don't tell me the planet came jumped out of nowhere, counselor
Shall I authorize shore leave?
Didn't anybody tell you about the joy stick?
I'd stay off the bridge for a while if I was you.
Next time don't put your makeup on at the helm
And what the hell is a "Blue Alert" anyway?
I am sensing great incompetence...
I feel whiplash since you asked....
Don't tell me, Chocolatey was your driving instructor at the Academy!
In future only I take manual control, OK?
OK, let's get our story straight - the Klingon pulled out right in front of you; you had no time to react, OK?
The viewscreen is there for you to see the traffic, not to check your makeup!
OK, you're paying for the insurance rise... and don't give me any of that "we've evolved beyond money" rubbish either!
And you didn't even put the L-plates on. How are we going to get the insurance payout now?
Can you show me your driving license please?
Next time, use a joystick.
Are you doing this to make Gaudy pilot again?
Maybe we need to put a joystick in the next model.
What do you mean "at least the ship smells pine fresh" ?
Great. Now I've got to start a new butt groove ...
I knew I shouldn't have passed your command exam.
From now on I'm calling you Doyahafta Landhard.
THIS is why I'M directing the next movie and YOU'RE being comic relief.
This is why I wasn't supposed to let you cheat on your Command Exam!
Landing!? You ordered a LANDING?!?!
next lesson we will try parrallel parking
This landing is going down on your permanent driving record.
The one time I let you take the helm....
Great, how many characters do we have left in the alfabet?
So you've marked the equator.
I heard the Bored are looking for new Pilot Drones.
No, I doubt the captain will appreciate the new sunroof.
No, Deanna, you didn't pass your driving exams!
Yes counsoler, what you sense IS anger!
Don't give me that "I feel some negative feelings" thing!
The Great Wizzard
Now I know why Quirk never gave Oohlala the brigde...
While I appreciate the thought, the Enterforaprize does NOT need a skylight!
"Let me pilot, Will. I've practiced, Will."
little green woman
What do you mean with "the Captain will hardly notice the few scratches"?!
Thank god you did that, the Enterforaprize-d was so last years model.
i'm glad to report your now being assigned kitchen duties.
Alright I'll consider the joystick.
Even a blind pilot could've done it better!
The Great Wizzard
No Counselor. That is NOT what we understand with the term "Standard Orbit".
8 of 12
Next time, try plotting a course before engaging warp.
8 of 12
Next time, Beta drives.
Perhaps we should put a joystick on the next one.
You just wait 'till your Captain comes home.
That was a close shave...speaking of which....
The Great Wizzard
No use in counseling, stating only the blindingly obvious, unable to pilot,... No offence, but is there something you CAN do or are you just a pretty face?
Okay I'll say it again, Green Button "Good", Red Button "Bad"
No, I won't let you shave me!
and just 3 more months of payments too...
You should have used the joystick!
A blind man flew this ship better than you!
I hearby call your landing "The Tryhard Manuver"
There goes our no claim bonus!
Great, now we gotta leave a note!
That's the WORST parrallel parking I've ever seen!
Oh, I am gonna tell the Captain on you!!
I think it was a bad i dea letting you go for your L's!
Blow into this bag please?
No wonder you never got your licence!
The Great Wizzard
I always thought this "Female Drivers" stuff was just a myth...
See if I ever give you the keys to the ship again!
So how was that for a CRASH course
Go ahead... ask me how I feel
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