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This week's idea was suggested on the Ideas Board by Andrew Schleit.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

Doyawanna destroys the Enterforaprize. It seems movies are just another excuse to destroy an Enterforaprize. This time around, she goes down after Counsellor Tryhard takes the helm for the first time. Maybe that's why they installed a joystick in the next model!


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition. This week's winning punchline was written by Corsair. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.


Natalie

no really - I'm sure we'll find *something* you're good at...

Steve "Slaan" Asselin

Never thought I would say this, but: I miss having Measly at the helm.

Sevanonymous

Nice landing...stick to counseling.

S

We have disposable ensigns than can do better than that

Philip Kerselaers

I don't think we need to worry about remembering where we've parked

the cheekster

I don't understand why they haven't made me captain yet.

John Lang

Your drivers education must have been a crash course!

Wendee Rae

Doyawanna take the helm...Doyawanna take the blame.

Lyra

Next time *I'm* driving

Craig E Laycock

Computer End Program: 'Joyride 1'

Philip Kerselaers

All I ask is a tall ship and a joystick to fly her with

Haathi

Yes, I think he'll notice.

NateDog00

Let's see you "feel" your way out of this one.

Sevanonymous

You couldn't fly the ship for *five* minutes without crashing it?

Luigi Novi

So a 14 year-old can drive this thing, but YOU can't?

Luigi Novi

What do you mean, you "thought this was an Intrepid-class ship?"

Cmdr. Solomon

The Reset button was in Engineering. You know, the part that BLEW UP!

Cmdr. Solomon

What do you mean you thought we had a reset button?!?

MindMelda

I guess the producers won't be happy til we get to "Z".

MindMelda

No, I don't think Sev Fleet will accept"We drive on the other side of the planet on Betazed" excuse.

Michael Kraft

Unlike Forager, this ship doesn't have a reset button Counselor!

Andrew Lipsett

On the bright side... Christmas trees for everybody!

Marby

I knew I forgot to teach you something in that commander course...

Marby

When the captain said the line must be drown here, I don't think this is what he had in mind

Philip Kerselaers

No, we're NOT blaming this on sevspace

KaC

Coffe breaks are a no-no while at helm.

KaC

You've been demoted to the rank of tree planter.

KaC

You couldn't wait to fix your hair?

Francis Miranda

Dang! And i just washed the thing!

RobRoy

Repeat after me: "Shields up!"

James

The Props department isn't going to be happy.

James

Oh, you are so demoted.

James

What do you mean you thought Beta was flying?

J Racer

I always thought Measly would be the one to crash the Enterforaprize....

J Racer

Measly flew better than you! MEASLY!!! For shame!!

JDSandara

Clearing a path for the new Enterforaprize?

MindMelda

Betazoids have no depth perception? Now you tell me!

Spiner

Next time you'll listen when I say we need to stop for gas!

Quip

That's the problem- you don't REASON with a helm control!

Quip

No, the ship was NOT in denial!

Adam Elliott

Not even the borg could destroy it . . .

Avital Guernsey

You flew this ship like a blind man!

Avital Guernsey

You think I'm going to let you shave my beard after this?!

Paddy

Well you wanted to go the sceneic route

Flashdancer

When I said "Watch the trees" I actually meant you should avoid them!

Rob McLeod

No, I don't think a lick of paint will work!

Rob McLeod

And the movie still isn't any good!

009

I shouldn't have helped you pass the lieutenant commander's exam...

009

That's it! we're changing the No-man/no-one voiceover back!

009

I'd report you, but nobody listens to stories about crashed saucers since that Roswell thing.

Mate

Congratulations you just killed all of Data's precious little lifeforms.

Mate

I know, I know...I was suprised too when Data swore.

carDASSian, WAR Drum and Darklight

This is the worst case of Space Rage I've ever seen!!

carDASSian and WAR Drum

Ever wondered why you have "Counseller" in front of your name and not HELMSMAN!!!!!

cda5

This ship had survived the borg invations, Q, Barf singing and it only took you a few seconds to destroy it!!

Griffin

You can kiss the triple gold rating goodbye!

Scott

I never wanted three nacelles anyway!

Cordavin Lon

I knew I shoulda sprung for the joystick...

Cordavin Lon

Obviously, you require training wheels...

Philip Kerselaers

And to think you're Forager's only hope

Philip Kerselaers

So what ARE you good at ?

Philip Kerselaers

That's it, I'm installing a joystick

Philip Kerselaers

I'm sensing gross incompetence

Philip Kerselaers

I said: "DON'T take the helm"

Philip Kerselaers

What do you mean, "Did I pass ?" ???

Q

No we cant blame this on sevspace.

Q

You know Dr. Cruncher was just JOKEING when she said Measly was coming back.

Q

Well thats ONE way to kill a fly.

Gspender

If it wasn't just a scale model, I'd be ticked.

Steve Portillo

If anybody asks, a Romulan Warbird cut us off during a lane change...

Lieutenant Luke

See, when I say: "Level her out", it refers to your pitch...not the trees.

Lieutenant Luke

License and registration, please...

Kat

steeeeerike!

Gobi Toby

Okay... no more "excuse me, chocolate break" while you're flying!

Mark

Congratulations! You did what the Bored could not do!

Q

TRRRRRRRYYYHHHARRRRDD! You got some s'plainings to do!

Mark

That's it young lady! You're grounded for a month!

Q

This will NOT look good on my resume!

Mark

Pickhard finally goes on an away team and look what happens!

Q

Youe supposed to hold down the clutch before we go to warp!

Mark

Next time I'll drive.

Guilherme Silva

Well, some painting, some glue and noone will notice it.

Mark

Man, that's a lot of roadkill!

Q

You just HAD to wait until the warrenty ran out didn't you!?

Q

Its open displays of idiocy like this that will get the Bored to attack us!

Q

WHEEEEEEEE!!! Lets do it again!!

Derek

At least your left blinker hasn't been on since Veridian VI.

Guilherme Silva

Hum... I hope Starfleet paid the insurance.

Derek

You know, I never believed the stereotypes...

Q

Its alright we'll just blame it on the android.

Alicia

I think you took 'where no one has gone before' a little too literally

Crazeyal

Fenderbender??? YOU HIT A PLANET!!!!

Kalahari Karl

Don't look so shocked. We all knew Beta would say a bad word sooner or later...

Ensign Noname Redshirt

I knew they shouldn't have cancelled Driver's Ed at the Academy!

Amanda

Well, we have enough trees to last through 50 years of Christmas parties!

Amanda

I was afraid your little feet wouldn't reach the pedals...guess I was right!

Cmdr. Solomon

You heard me. Extend your arms, close your eyes and touch your nose with your index finger 10 times...

Amanda

Where'd you get your license from, a replicator?

MindMelda

And to think I let you near me with a razor!

dave g

Piker to Pichard. Request permission to demote Tryhard to red-shirt ensign

Artimus

Yes, I think Pichard will notice.

Artimus

Get off what's left of my bridge.

Llachau

Damn! Our warranty doesn't cover movies.

Llachau

I don't think anyone will be repeating the Tryhard Manuever...

Dacron

I told you not to set the viewscreen to 'vanity mirror'!

Avenger CO

You were a shuttle pilot once?

Avenger CO

Do you have any idea how this affects our insurance rates?

Ian Freely

That's 4 Enterforaprizes gone, just 22 to go!

James

OK -- next week, we'll practice warp drive ...

ensign h

just don't tell me the planet came jumped out of nowhere, counselor

ScottE Bemeup

Shall I authorize shore leave?

ScottE Bemeup

Didn't anybody tell you about the joy stick?

ScottE Bemeup

I'd stay off the bridge for a while if I was you.

Scott Hamilton

Next time don't put your makeup on at the helm

Chop

And what the hell is a "Blue Alert" anyway?

Chop

I am sensing great incompetence...

Chop

I feel whiplash since you asked....

MindMelda

Don't tell me, Chocolatey was your driving instructor at the Academy!

Chop

In future only I take manual control, OK?

Chop

OK, let's get our story straight - the Klingon pulled out right in front of you; you had no time to react, OK?

Chop

The viewscreen is there for you to see the traffic, not to check your makeup!

Chop

OK, you're paying for the insurance rise... and don't give me any of that "we've evolved beyond money" rubbish either!

Chop

And you didn't even put the L-plates on. How are we going to get the insurance payout now?

Lordy

Can you show me your driving license please?

Toferay

Next time, use a joystick.

Toferay

Are you doing this to make Gaudy pilot again?

samurai penguin

Maybe we need to put a joystick in the next model.

Marauder Mo

What do you mean "at least the ship smells pine fresh" ?

Riff

Great. Now I've got to start a new butt groove ...

FerengiBert

I knew I shouldn't have passed your command exam.

ScottE Bemeup

From now on I'm calling you Doyahafta Landhard.

evay

THIS is why I'M directing the next movie and YOU'RE being comic relief.

evay

This is why I wasn't supposed to let you cheat on your Command Exam!

Corsair

Landing!? You ordered a LANDING?!?!

joe

next lesson we will try parrallel parking

E-Nice

This landing is going down on your permanent driving record.

E-Nice

The one time I let you take the helm....

Kurt

Great, how many characters do we have left in the alfabet?

Kurt

So you've marked the equator.

Qui-Gone Gin

I heard the Bored are looking for new Pilot Drones.

Haathi

No, I doubt the captain will appreciate the new sunroof.

Qui-Gone Gin

No, Deanna, you didn't pass your driving exams!

Qui-Gone Gin

Yes counsoler, what you sense IS anger!

Qui-Gone Gin

Don't give me that "I feel some negative feelings" thing!

The Great Wizzard

Now I know why Quirk never gave Oohlala the brigde...

Standback

While I appreciate the thought, the Enterforaprize does NOT need a skylight!

Wood Elf

"Let me pilot, Will. I've practiced, Will."

little green woman

What do you mean with "the Captain will hardly notice the few scratches"?!

j

Thank god you did that, the Enterforaprize-d was so last years model.

j

i'm glad to report your now being assigned kitchen duties.

Mate

Alright I'll consider the joystick.

shlamko

Even a blind pilot could've done it better!

The Great Wizzard

No Counselor. That is NOT what we understand with the term "Standard Orbit".

8 of 12

Next time, try plotting a course before engaging warp.

8 of 12

Next time, Beta drives.

Jason Lima

Perhaps we should put a joystick on the next one.

Jason Lima

You're grounded.

Jason Lima

You just wait 'till your Captain comes home.

John Lang

That was a close shave...speaking of which....

The Great Wizzard

No use in counseling, stating only the blindingly obvious, unable to pilot,... No offence, but is there something you CAN do or are you just a pretty face?

Johnny Cool

Okay I'll say it again, Green Button "Good", Red Button "Bad"

Fel

No, I won't let you shave me!

Jason Lima

and just 3 more months of payments too...

Fel

You should have used the joystick!

Missy

A blind man flew this ship better than you!

John Lang

I hearby call your landing "The Tryhard Manuver"

Justin Allen

There goes our no claim bonus!

Justin Allen

Great, now we gotta leave a note!

John Lang

That's the WORST parrallel parking I've ever seen!

Sam

Oh, I am gonna tell the Captain on you!!

Justin Allen

I think it was a bad i dea letting you go for your L's!

Justin Allen

Blow into this bag please?

Justin Allen

No wonder you never got your licence!

The Great Wizzard

I always thought this "Female Drivers" stuff was just a myth...

Iolanthe

See if I ever give you the keys to the ship again!

Siriusly not

So how was that for a CRASH course

chris

Go ahead... ask me how I feel

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