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This week's idea was suggested on the Ideas Board by Francis Miranda.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

Gym Quirk's last words. This week's set of punchlines prove how easy it was to come up with more interesting last words than "it was fun" :-)

Trivia and Nitpicks for this week: The big nitpick that noone seemed to miss this week was calling Quirk "Admiral" when he'd actually been demoted to Captain in the fourth movie. I changed it to Captain in the final cartoon. Also, Dr Chris would never forgive me if I didn't post the mega-long punchline he submitted (and posted on the Discussion Board... and then emailed to me just in case I forgot about it) so here it is.


Other Punchlines



These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition. This week's winning punchline was written by ScottE Bemeup. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions.


Niffiwan

They're...in...*cough*...my next...book.

Kieron rees

Don't worry I'm being cast us a klingon next week cause of my crinkled forehead

Kieron rees

Are you being paid more than me in this movie ?

Inqbus

I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Oh wait.

Graeme

She was..... I mean, It was fun!!!!

Antony

I asked some people to get a life, have they found me one yet?

Antony

The show ain't over 'til the fat captain sings

Drew

This... could... take... awhile,... you know... that... death scenes... are the... favorite... of... every... overactor...

Q

I have and always shall be a recurring character.

Sjerrie

Where are those ensigns when you need one?

Sjerrie

Tell spock I said hi.

Sjerrie

Just take my advice. A toupet a day keeps the glare away.

Eslington

Looks like I've split my last infinitive.

Deja Vu

I know I said I wanted to die on the bridge, but this is ridiculous!!!

Nodrog

May the franchise be with you...

Lyra

I'll always have the con circuit.

Trek Master

I wanted to die in an even numbered trek film!

The Sisko

Yeah. I kind of liked being the only captain with hair. You do know that the sentient being on Gainweight's head is NOT hair.

Peter Sawatzky

Never take a desk job--the uniforms are to hard to rip.

Q

Admirals never die. They just do conventions.

Philip Price

I'm never going to listen to the Captain of the Enterprise again.

Brettzky

You know your good when they have to kill you twice!

A.J.E

yes, but you have to wait for the speacials edition to hear them

A.J.E

buy... my... book

Kris

Second star to the right...oh wait, I used that already.

Lantern

Just make sure the Enterforaprize never has a joystick on the helm.

Merete

Maybe this is just the pain talking, but you look really hot.

Charles littlewood

Did we make a difference or did we just show that I am fat and Old?

Lea

Bridge on the captain!

Edward

If you want to make it past the next movie, change the color of your uniform.

Nodrog

I lived by the red shirt, and I died by the red shirt...

Brian

This would never have happened if they'd let ME write and direct!

ScottE Bemeup

We killed Spook. We brought him back. We killed Yard, we brought her back. Why must the line be drawn here?

AndreaC

We're still in the nexus right?

Avenger CO

Always get script approval.

Flashdancer

I feel more like an ensign than an admiral right now!

John Fallon

If I did, this movie would be a double feature.

Roget

My career....out of....danger?

Pat

Yeah, Tell Data I want an Android body, This one's had it!

JTKirk

Real... Sevfleet... captains... don't drink... tea...!

Rebel Cause

The ship, out of...no. The needs of the one...no. Damn, Spook took all the good ones!

Rebel Cause

I'm still...having...trouble speaking

Rebel Cause

Dammit En Route, I need a doctor, not a eulogist!

t hansen

beam me up goddy!

Mark

I knew I would die on the bridge.

Brian Marinari

Since, you're from another series, I guess this counts as "dying alone".

Fred MCI

How....much....time do...you have?...No...I'm not...out of...breath.........This....is how...I...talk

Todd Chinigo

Uh, I've changed my mind. It wasn't all that.... fun, Where's that Nexus again?

Jay

"I've always known: I'll die alone. Or with a bald french guy."

Freak 009

Gotta Disprin?

Inqbus

I thought my hair would break my fall.

Kris

I leave you this generation's women.

Tim

I can see the face of God... it's... it's... Gene?

1of69

Mention me in the sequels.

1of69

Ironic, a Sevfleet Admiral dying an Ensign's death

Lt. Brad Gentry

What a cheasy way to kill me off! I wasn't that heavy!

Mark

Get a breath mint!

vigo the carpathian

Now I know what all those "Red Shirts" felt like.

Polson

Bite me.

Polson

Your head is shiny.

Quip

We'll always have Nexis.

Quip

I'd survive if you loosened my girdle-- but nevermind!

Quip

Too bad about those Duracell sisters!

Quip

ME? Have you looked at YOUR ratings lately?

Luigi Novi

How 'bout that Edith Keeler chick, huh?

Luigi Novi

Yeah. Does my gut look too fat at this angle?

Luigi Novi

So when are you and that redheaded Chief Medical Officer gonna hook up?

Luigi Novi

YOU'RE the Shakespearean actor, YOU say something profound!

Luigi Novi

"Warp four and seven years ago..."

Brian

I'll be appearing at Trek-Con in Sheboygan to sign copies of my new book on March...

Brian

That trick Spook used had better work!

Mark Nguyen

It was... a good paycheque!

Fred MCI

Yea... Put on a dress and come a little closer!!

dana

Mind to step off my left foot?

Lord Phoenix

Finally, I can stop holding in the gut...

the girl from ipanema

You know what, this isn't fun.

Darth Tilden

Get me a life.

Cameron Mason

Where's a red shirt when you need them.

Quip

Thanks for ruining my show!

Quip

Looks like I'm through saving your butt AND your ratings!

TSN

Y'know, that's the second Mr. Roarke who's tried to kill me...

TSN

El-Aurian bastard, you killed my self!

TSN

Hey, I think that fall fixed my bad back...

Mark

This is just a simulation, right?

Cmdr. Solomon

I...have been...and always shall be...the better Captain.

Cmdr. Solomon

In all my travels, of all the heads I've encountered...yours is the...baldest...urgkk(dies)

Major General Neithya

I thought they were going to bring in a redshirt double

Livid

Auxillary power to life support!

Livid

I'd ask for your prayers, but we killed God a few movies back...

Cmdr. Solomon

You... really... need... a... breath... mint!

Danielle

My... hairpiece... coming... loose

Aaron(Tornado)Thall

Katsup... on face... Must... fire... make-up assistant...

December

At least I died without losing ALL my hair...

Duane B

Just the location of my little black book.

Osprey

You may want to take notes here.

Duane B

You are my hair...er..heir

Osprey

Are they getting my good side?

The Traveler

So many wild alien women...so little time...

David D

See you in the flashbacks!

jcbwilson

Remember when you discovered all the species in the galaxy share the same DNA? That was me.

jcbwilson

You got me out of bed for this??

jcbwilson

Tell them I died on the bridge.

Lantern

No, I will not give you an autograph.

Lantern

At least I don't have to go to any of those damn conventions anymore

alex

You know the rules red is dead

Lantern

The need..... for money..... .outweighs..... the need...... of dignity.

Lantern

If......... I talk....... slowly, I will....... last longer.

Lantern

The.... needs..... of..... overacting..... outweigh...... the needs...... of a sequel.

Lantern

This....... never..... would...... have...... happened..... if..... you...... weren't...... such..... a.... sissy.

Anneke

Not... enough... time...

jdwiseman

Yeah...sliding...down this...huge cheese grater really hurt my ahhhhh...................

Sweeney Todd

I'll be back in my next book!

Sweeney Todd

I disown Sev Trek 5

Sweeney Todd

I...can...see....up....your.....nose

J Racer

Nah...I've said it all, really....

J Racer

I never should have volunteered for an odd-numbered movie....

J Racer

Get the number of that shuttle that ran me over....

Tracey

Move, you're blocking my best side.

Llachau

I should have... used... a stunt double...

FD

Captain...on..the bridge!

Dano Langevin

Pickard...did we...get the...girl?

Dano Langevin

Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Do Trek, and they just laugh at you.

Friday

Computer, end program.

^OpTiX^

Who would of thought the gross limit for this bridge actually meant something

^OpTiX^

Yeah, but you ain't gonna hear them

Aaron(Tornado)Thall

Don't worry... Sev Trek characters don't die... They just... do... conventions...

Aaron(Tornado)Thall

Please get me off this cheese grater...

mouse jefferies tube 32

No.......your kneeling on my script!!

Satai

Tell them...... the hair IS real........ I did NOT wear a girdle....... my shirt ripped cos' I'm good - looking.............. and my long .... pauses ...... were ..... non-existant...........

Krissy

I left the damn eggs on the stove.

Potswilly

Yes! Who's the buttwipe that wrote this script?

Phiz

I hate those new uniforms.

Mark

It's your turn now.

Mark

We'll always have Rigel 7.

Mark

Never...wear...red!

Mark

Must...die...with a...dramatic...pause...

Gregory Griffiths

E tu, Pickhard? Then fall, Quirk...

Trek Master

Whew, this is an odd numbered trek film, so it can suck!

Trek Master

Now the ship is yours, the keys are under the captain's seat in the side pocket under the red button!

Brandon Sphynx

When I.. said.. I wanted to die.. on the.. bridge.. this isn't.. what.. I.. meant..

Kevin Warrington

Can you really tell it's a comb-over?

Lyra

Tell them... tell them... that Admiral... Gym... T Quirk... died... with a full... head of... hair

Piper

Just wait until I write the sequal to this, where I will be ressurected in a lab.....and have unlimited sex appeal

Ensign No-Name

Dang it, I didn't even rip my shirt

Nodrog

A... few... Do... we... have... several... hours?

Nodrog

I regret I have but one movie to milk out of this new series...

Ashley Collins

Get a liiii . . . .

Brett Harris

Does this mean I can't do conventions anymore?

Polson

Can I get back to you on that?

Mike Wille

I knew I should have protested more when they changed my uniform to red.

Mike Wille

This makes me fell like an Ensign again.

T'Rowa

I'm going to a place where my toupee looks real and I don't need a girdle...

Osprey

I be back even if I have to write my own novel.

Hanover Fisk

Tell me more about this Counselor Tryhard.

Hanover Fisk

Next time, bring some Ensigns.

Hanover Fisk

Would you mind beaming me into the Nexus?

Luigi Novi

A little advice: Don't take anything less than $5 million for the next movie!

Luigi Novi

Why'd the catwalk snap? I knew I put on a little weight, but GEEZ!

Luigi Novi

They call this movie "Generations" but you and I look like we're from the same generation!

Luigi Novi

I'm really sorry for that "Get a Life!" thing, okay?

Luigi Novi

I thought I had an eight picture deal...?

Luigi Novi

Yes. Do all 24th century captains wear pajamas on the job like you do?

Luigi Novi

Not really. When I write the next SevTrek novel, I'll just bring myself back.

Luigi Novi

Maybe now I'll stop getting hate mail for that "Get a life!" line on Saturday Night Live!

Ali

Bury me with my toupe

Luigi Novi

Yeah. This movie SUCKED!

Luigi Novi

I can see a bright tunnel...Oh, wait. That's the sunlight reflecting off your head.

Lyra

Tell them... tell them... Gym Quirk went out with his hair intact.

Luigi Novi

Yeah. Can you give me a pillow? This rusty catwalk really chafes!

Luigi Novi

I'll say "hi" to Gene Roddenberry and DeForest Kelly for ya!

Agent-D

Fire my agent

ScottE Bemeup

Amateur! I didn't lose my ship until the third movie.

ScottE Bemeup

Pull my finger.

ScottE Bemeup

My body may die, but my ego will live forever.

ScottE Bemeup

If I'd only been 20 kilos lighter...

ScottE Bemeup

Oh, my....contract just expired.

ScottE Bemeup

I've always wanted to die on the bridge.

ScottE Bemeup

Want to record a collection of duets?

ScottE Bemeup

Just some advice. Buy some hair.

ScottE Bemeup

I knew this red shirt was a bad idea.

+PsychoPat+

Butler? is that you boy? good dog!

FD

Hey...my dramatic pauses have stopped!

FD

At least I didn't rip my shirt!

John Lang

Rats! I wasn't wearing my "lucky" yellow shirt!

John Lang

I NEED a life!

The Crazy Zonie

Bury me in my best girddle.

The Crazy Zonie

At least I covered my head.

Acting Ensign Emma

a request! can you tear my shirt sleve of?

RainStrom

Hurry up.. and fix my ... wig!

FD

I would...but these pauses...take too long

Buckwheat

Get a life!

Brett

Your fly is open

David Dorward

Where's the girl? There must be a girl around here somewhere.

FD

My...stunt double..is going to..pay!

FD

I'm dead, Jim!

Llachau

Finally... a good... reason... for... dramatic... pauses.

Llachau

Don't worry... Spook'll bring me back. He owes me!

David Dorward

You have had a bit of lettice stuck in your teeth since before I met you

Llachau

You... must carry on my work. Bring back... the miniskirt!

Llachau

In my day, we... built bridges to last!

Christopher

Kiss the girls -- ALL the girls.

Cmdr. Solomon

Yes. Now I'm ready to die. Quirk to God...one to beam up....Urrgk(dies)

Peter Chewning

I am STILL a better Captain, than you.

Christopher

I was hoping to pass the secrets of my success on to a younger man.

Christopher

I was fated to die alone. Either I'm not dying, or you don't rate much.

Kalahari Karl

See ya, baldie.

Artimus

Never...should have...worn...red...

T'Lorik

I get two tries and Spook's death scene is... still better...!

John Lang

Take my little black book...you need it.

John Lang

Makeup!

John Lang

First it's Captain on the Bridge now it's Bridge on the Captain!

Brian

I'm STILL the best captain!

Edward

The glare from your head is blinding

Brandon Freeman

How did YOU get so far without hair?

Brandon Freeman

...Help me take...this wig off...so I can...look on you...with my OWN scalp...

Mad Weasel

It...was...just...a...series...

Samurai Penguin

Don't. . .have time. . .for melodramatic. . .ending.

evay

Now I'll have time to do what I always wanted to do -- write bad scifi novels!

evay

Looks like that whole "I've always known I would die alone" business was just a load of hooey....

sesspit

Can I have my paycheck now?

The Great Wizzard

Damn your honesty! When one of my crew says "The odds are against us" it means that we'll have no problems!

Francis Miranda

Take care of her...not the Enterprise you nitwit...my many girls.

Francis Miranda

Tell me honestly...does my toupee look real?

Francis Miranda

I can't believe the captain of the Enterprise is an old geezer.

Shawn McNiel

Let's see you do 7 movies.

Shawn McNiel

Can I get a Re-write over hear?!!

Shawn McNiel

I suppose I'll have to write books now.

Shawn McNiel

I knew Star Trek 5 would haunt me.

Francis Miranda

I...was...bald!

Shawn McNiel

Dang red shirt!

eqvui

Yes, take my wig! You need it more than I do now.

E-Nice

I can see myself in your forehead.

Michael Kraft

Bide, Bide, That's All Folks!

E-Nice

I shoulda held out for a better script.

E-Nice

You punch like a girl.

E-Nice

I knew I should have stayed in the nexus.

Mgeoffrey

I never thought Sqatty would out live me.

John Fassbender

Want to by a toupee, cheap?

PeteMan

Death scene... finally... justifies... my... dramatic... pauses!

John Fassbender

Ever consider getting a toupee?

PeteMan

Did you know you're starting to thin on top?

Corsair

You'll get tired of it all too, Pickhard....

Corsair

Make sure there's no "Search for Quirk" movie...

The Great Wizzard

Bend closer! I can't see my reflection if you stand this way...

The Great Wizzard

I've had more women than all 3 spin-offs combined!

The Great Wizzard

Please rip my shirt.

The Great Wizzard

Give my girdle to your first officer.

Shlamko

Death... the final... frontier... these are... the voyages... of Gym Quirk...

Michael Shaw

I wonder how I can work my way into the next movie

Ken Nielsen

No, but tell me; Does my hair look okay?

The Great Wizzard

Don't you mean "Any last dramatic pauses, CAPTAIN Quirk?"

Shlamko

Funny... I've died on the bridge...

The Great Wizzard

I'm now joining the Great Bird of the Galaxy...

Flashdancer

Where are the babes...?

Michael Shaw

Yes...get...off...my...foot

The Great Wizzard

Do me a favour: say "You're dead, Gym!"

Shlamko

You... took me away... from the... Nexus... for this???

Shlamko

See... your... future...

The Great Wizzard

Let... me... prepare... my... last... dramatic.........

Alicat

Take my toupee, please!

The Great Wizzard

You can have my hairpiece... you'll need it.

Maddog

I got more hair than you

Shlamko

As wierd... as it looks... En-route... I am NOT... your father...

Gevskot

I *WAS* having fun, and then I met you...

Gevskot

Yeah, you need to fire the dim-wit who just crashed the Enterforaprize...

Gevskot

When are you gonna cover up that bald head of yours?

Gevskot

You need to leave... I'm supposed to die alone, didn't you see the other movies?


Well, is my tupee` on straight?

JC

Finally the scenery got to chew ME...

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