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Dr Pavlovaski's replacement. She had barely had a chance to unpack before Dr Pavlovaski was sent packing from the Enterforaprize, to be replaced by the woman she had replaced, Dr Cruncher. Why this revolving door policy on Enterforaprize D doctors? By the way, this comic strip (& the winning punchline) makes a very nice bookend to my first Dr Pavlovaski comic strip and it's also interesting to compare today's cartoons with stuff I drew several years ago.

Thanx go to Star Trek Central who are publishing this week's competition strip on their site. They recently ran "Pulaski week" and although its over, you can still read the articles and find out if she was voted a hit or miss in the week's poll.

Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition. This week's winning punchline was written by Derek. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions.


You make Picard look good

John Jensen

We're the Federation's Flagship not the Hagship.

Kevin Warrington

You're due for a refit

The Avatar!!!

Dying of old age isn't the best plot twist.


I threatened to have a second child!

Shawn McNiel

Because you look like Pavlovaski's dog than Pavlovaski.


Oh you didn't know? Sev Fleet is retracting all it's Bones clones.


Two words: head - rub

Kyle Bruck

Data said after seeing you he didn't want to be human anymore.


Hey, it was this or drop you down a turbovator shaft.

8 of 12

Chicken soup is not an endoursed treatment from Starfleet Medical!


Our latest survey says shrunken old hags bring ratings down.


Would you like the first fifty reasons in alphabetical or numerical order?


You're bedside manner is worse than the EMH.


You have the sex appeal of a raisin.


I'm 40. You're 70. He's 60. Do the math.


Two words: sexual tension!


I told them since I wasn't working I was going to have more kids.

Leon van Steensel

I make a better action figure anyway

Wendon Pettey

This IS the NEXT ol' dinosaur!


Behold the ravages of age.


I threatened to send Measily to work for Sevfleet Command and they caved in right away


Well, you can't dance now can you.


We've uncovered ancient civilisations that were younger than you, my dear.


Because the writers just realised that too many of the senior staff were... well, seniors...


There was a mistake. I have red hair, not a red shirt.


Instead of sexual tension, you are causing intestinal revulsion.


*I* taught him the "Pickard Manuever".


"Age before beauty" is CAPTAIN's privelege!


How many fans wanted YOU to "take their temperature?"


We're PC, not *BC!*


I made First Contract!


We are getting sick of ya.

Harry Hazeel

Even healthy people were sick when they saw you.


The Captain feels guilty for the death of my husband. I use that.

Kevin Warrington

Your Hippocratic oath has expired


Fan fiction has fallen WAY off.


Because there's an open elevator shaft somewhere with your name on it.


I never left. I was trying to find a bathroom all last season.


Should I get you a mirror?


Wrong Generation

ScottE Bemeup

It's a response to 47 sickbay complaints citing trauma caused by waking up and seeing your face.

Corbin Johnson

people hate seeing your face as the last thing they saw.

Luigi Novi

You healed our injured crewmen, but you made the audience SICK!

Luigi Novi

I use a tricorder and dermal regenerators; You use splints.

Mad Weasel

Loosing viewers faster than ensigns!


Senior's week is over.


They are sending you to Forager to counterbalance 7 of 9.


One old fogey on this ship is enough!

Mouse - jefferies tube 32

Cos we're turning into the Next Geriatrics!!

Michael Kraft

In this case its beauty before age.


Dux in a miniskirt, Ten of Ten..see a pattern forming?


They are afraid you will die mid - season


The exact opposite of the reason he got rid of ME!

Mouse - jefferies tube 32

Cellulite clogs up the transploders!!

Mouse - jefferies tube 32

No butts...........or big butts anyway!!!


I'm cuter, you're neuter.


We found out you were in Jurassic Trek.

Mouse - Jefferies tube 32

I believe there's a part going in "Muppets In Space"......I'll put in a good word for you!!


Jean Luc, I told you a hollowdeck accident is easier, less questions...

Some characters just shouldnt be rehashed!


I'm the only one who can legally slap Wesley around.

Captain Flagg

The franchise is only allowed 1 crotchety old Doctor.


We don't need you for the 80-100 demographic anymore.


He wants to send Measly back where he came from!

Avenger CO

I finished my appointment with my hairstylist.

Avenger CO

Out wth the old, in with the new!

Avenger CO

Because the patients are supposed to be the ones to look like death warmed over.

Duane B

Earl gray isn't the only thing the captain likes hot!

Roy Gales

You may be able to fix his heart , but I own it.

Rug Man

The aging virus made him realize you'd get even older.

Michael Shaw

Your too solved problems in less than an episode

Michael Shaw

The crew can't pronounce your name

ScottE Bemeup

You attract more flies with honey than vinegar.

ScottE Bemeup

The crotchety doctor schtick has been done before.

ScottE Bemeup

Survey says: perky beats pouty any day.

ScottE Bemeup

It's as plain as the lines on your face.


The crew stopped demanding their physicals!


Big Red's back in town!

Francis Miranda

This is a Star Ship not a senior citizens home.

Francis Miranda

You don't give your patients a reason to live.

ScottE Bemeup

The ratings aren't the only things sagging.

Francis Miranda

USS Geriatrics needs a new medical officer.

ScottE Bemeup

Based on the sagging skin, I'd say your skull shrank.

Francis Miranda

Patients are reminded of their mortality with you around.

ScottE Bemeup

This is the X-Generation, not the Ex-ReGeneration.

Francis Miranda

You remind me too much of yet another ancient cranky doctor.

ScottE Bemeup

Why ask why? Hit the airlock, granny.

ltjg Robertson

I'm the only person who can stand measly... And make him stop crying too!


You're the babe of Sevtrek past, I'm the love intrest of Sevtreks yet to come.

Captain Thrynn

My, my, how the tables have changed...

Captain Thrynn

"You don't fit into his character building episodes all that well.."


There's that Thrill ambassador love story coming up in two seasons, and Piker refused to take the symbiont if you were the female lead.


Nobody would believe Pickhard would marry YOU at the end of the series.


Who do you think will draw more fans at conventions?


You had your 15 minute of Sev fame during the Jurassic Era. Twice.


You look too much Pickhard in drag.

Lt. Cmdr. EB

You have to worry about your own health, Grandma!


He's worried about who has seniority.


Let's just say the writers want a romance option.


You told him his hair loss was unreversible. He wanted a second opinion.


After his cataracts got fixed he realized you weren't me.


Welcome to Sev Trek 90120.


Measly threatened to clone himself if I didn't return.


Dudes don't dig old and crusty.

David Dorward

I have to be near my son (or everybody will kill the brat).


Measley was running amok with nobody to spank him.

Benn Millman

He couldn't stand Tryhard being the best looking female on the ship!


Your better suited as an 'alien of the week'


The producers have a thing for getting rid of blonde haired characters

Christina "Saavik" Tilman

Ratings, baby, ratings!


I killed the boy.

ScottE Bemeup

I make this look gooood.

ScottE Bemeup

Viewers have begun mistaking your face for a Clingon's.

ScottE Bemeup

The writers are working on movie plots, and want to firm a couple of things up.

ScottE Bemeup

It seems the crew would rather be sick than visit you for treatment.

ScottE Bemeup

This season there's a scene with the Doc in a nightie and the cast voted you out.

ScottE Bemeup

Tryhard can't carry the babe-load alone.

ScottE Bemeup

Your name implies drooling. My uniform inspires it.

ScottE Bemeup

The crew's been jumpy ever since you yanked out Barf's spine.

Scott McClenny

'Cause I'm the Ten of Sevfleet Med!

ScottE Bemeup

I've completed my studies of the Karma Sevtra.

ScottE Bemeup

You're too wrinkled to be part of the "next" generation.

D. Quirk

because, even with a son like Measly, I still get more fan mail.

ScottE Bemeup

He misses my bedside manner.

Alejandro Lee

We couldn't find a black oil slick to bump you off.


Data complained.


Silken sex appeal or watching your grandmother, which would *YOU* chose?


The audience isn't blind!


Just one Measley reason...

Greg Dean

Sorry, but even the sick people started to avoid sickbay.

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