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This week's idea was suggested by olv .
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

Counsellor Tryhard's baby. I actually got this episode out on video planning to do a cartoon about it for baby week (coming any moment now, Wendy's due date was two days ago!) but ended up gleaning this idea - we all know children grow up amazingly quickly in the Trek universe but this baby grew quickly even for their standards!

Sevnote: Now on reflection, I REALLY should have held this strip up until the week AFTER our baby was born - it would have been a little more thematically accurate that way. Oh well, another case of poor foresight like when I did my 47 comic strip as the 41st comic strip instead of the 47th. When will I learn?!


Other Punchlines



These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition.

This week's winning punchline was written by Aubrey. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions.


cyKey

If you were any other woman i would KILL you where you stand!

Rob the Herb

You know my feelings for mutant alien children!

Jas Man

So your going to mother and mutated alien baby class.

traP

Good, he'll be an adult by dinner. Call me then.

traP

He won't survive. His name wasn't on the opening credits.

Luigi Novi

Look at his face. I think he's trying to say, "Captain, I'm sensing great diaper fillage!"

Luigi Novi

Great. When Forager debuts in six years, he can be THEIR counsellor!

Luigi Novi

A week on what planet? Pluto?

Luigi Novi

Congratulations. By the way, Piker requested a transfer. He told me to tell you, "SEE YA!"

Luigi Novi

Great. You can expect all those marriage proposals from Trekkers to plummet!

Luigi Novi

In what? Dog years?

Bob Hazard

Yeah right, and my hair's just cloaked.

TailorShop

If his hair grows that fast, sign me up for a transplant.

littlestar

How in the hell were you able to have a baby in the shape of a Sev symbol??

Antti

Are you sure? That looks like the ensign Expendable prototype Geordi was working on.

MIA

Call me in an hour. He'll be my age by then.

KaC

O.K, well replicate him a uniform and through him with the rest of the no-name ensigns.

Captain Riker

Another week, another screwed up time show . . .

Anna

Has Riker finally produced SOMETHING? I'm still waiting for all those status reports he owes me.....

Rug Man

I don't know how you got Measly to agree to this, but I'm NOT granting you maternity leave!

kingbob

Damn, you must drink a lot of milk!

William Watson

Already a week and still more hair than all three male sev fleet captains!

Cyber_Trek25

Ok, we get the point. Men are just big babies.

Antti

This is what happens when you mix Betazoid, Clingoff and Human.

Derek Screen

Great! Another mouth to feed!

Headbang

Man is that ours, But it in a torpedo and send it to the Cardassians

chris

Begin his anti-Measly training immediately!

chris

Forget about that... what do you think of this uniform? Pretty cool, huh? I figure in a year, EVERYone will wear it. The uniform of the third season, today!

Ianna (had to say it!) Keirr

Well he can't be as cute as Gabby.

Captain Riker

Make it so . . . it won't get on the bridge!

Tree of Eight

Planning to grow our own supply of disposable ensigns, are we?

Brian

I fear he'll be an acting ensign by the next commercial!

Brian

Talk about condensing the story line!

Chris

Measley Cruncher, Stop trying to get back onto the ship!

Jcbwilson

And Worf's son is now an adult. Kids these days!

ensign schooby

No more children on this show. We already have enough for a whole spin-off.

Raven's Gray

Well, I guess it makes as much sense as a French captain with an english accent.

Rob McLeod

I wish you were that efficient at your job!

Rob McLeod

You kept that one quiet.

connie

You know we have a leash law here.

connie

....... and you have one week to get rid of him.

connie

Kids will do anything to steal the show!

connie

You were warned about mail order babies!

Aubri

Great, another shirt-tugger on board!

Pamela T. (stargazr)

Two words: Alexander, Naomi

Tribbles

Please tell me we're on the hollowdeck.

Tribbles

How late at night were the writers up?

Paul Pytlik

Are you sure? Maybe it's just gas.

Stephen McConnell

Why can't my hair grow that fast?

Captain Riker

Just make sure he doesn't save the ship for us!

Joris de Gruyter

Great! And now you want ME to put a "baby on board" sticker at the back-window?

adam

Make sure it doesn't pull anymore of my hair out.

Quip

And yet it seems like only yesterday.

Sl0th

Yeah? He doesn't look a day over 3 days old.

Tim M.

What part of "I dislike kids" don't you understand?

nicole

i hate first contact

Gabberke

If it grows weird bumps on its forehead, it can stay

Brittany Bell

Is he from one of those ''Ensign in a jiffy'' kits?

edgelett

Get rid of him quick before we have Measley part 2!

edgelett

For God's sake woman, put some clothes on the boy!

Cordavin Lon

I think he'd look good in red...

Banai

Well, as long as you keep him out of the turbolift when I'm in it...

Kevin Warrington

Make it so-- I mean is that so?

Paul Pytlik

I give it 45 more minutes...

Gregory Chapman

And people wonder why I'm going bald!

Gregory Chapman

Just be sure not to include me in your list of babysitters!

Gregory Chapman

So, what do you expect ME to do about it??!! I'm a Sevfleet captain, not a babysitter!!!

Joshua Eves

It seemed like just yesterday he was a tiny baby.

Gregory Griffiths

Right. And I suppose you're going to tell me next that he came about because some energy-based lifeform wanted to know what it's like to be humaniod.

GDOG

Just great. We get rid of Measley and we get him

Steve

No more CLINGON baby formula for him

Agee

Oh, so thats what that smell on the bridge was!

Griffin

How long till he can be a disposable ensign?

Griffin

Well at this rate he'll be a disposable ensign by the end of the week.

Abe Kanter

It smells like his diapers are that old, too

Shlamko

You don't need to be telepathic to know what I'm thinking about it!

Artimus

How many times do I have to tell casting!? They just can't kidnap kids off the street.

James

Just how many drugs did the doctor give you during labor?

Sam Peirce

Give him three weeks and he'll look like ME!

chris

A phizzer on 'nap' should do it...

Polson

Are you expecting a baby shower or something? Well don't count on it.

Polson

It's breathing my air.

Mike McCormick

Funny, Heavily Cruncher calls me that too.

Livid

Is that one earth week, or one television week?

Kurt

In a few days time he's going to be bald as well.

PeteMan

Don't get too attached to him - the show's half over.

Bugged Out

Hmmm... too human looking to be Barf's, too much hair to be mine... PIIIKKKKERRRR!!!!

PeteMan

He's gotta squeeze lots of living into this 42 minute episode!

PeteMan

That little plot device is growing like a weed!

G.B.A

Good, we need an extra pilot.

G.B.A

I give him another week.

Standback

Hmph. I see your son is attempting to get around my dislike of children.

T'Mar

Here's a dollar. Now go buy yourself a lollypop.

T'Mar

Oh this one is cute! Hoochycoochycoochy!!!!

traP

Tell me, Counselor, do you sence hostility yet? You should.

traP

I don't care. He still can't be an acting Ensign.

The Great Wizzard

Computer! One standard SevFleet uniform, size: XXS, rank: ensign, color: red!

excuses

Well at least you got him in a way that kept our PG rating

Petzi

I wish Wusley would grow so fast.

connie

I think its time for a low fat diet.

connie

So how long were you pregnant? Two years!

saltshaker

I'll take whatever you're feeding him and rub it in my scalp!f

Aubri

You shouldn't let him play with temporal anomolies.

Aubri

And yet you managed to keep your figure.

Aubri

Leave it to the writers to skip breastfeeding.

V. Equinox

If only our ratings would grow that fast.

V. Equinox

Is he learning to speak technobabble yet?

V. Equinox

You know the rule, only main characters are allowed to survive longer than a week.

V. Equinox

He's to replace Measly Cruncher immediately.

Christopher Michael

Just what we needed... an auxiliary Measley!

Cap'n Krunch

I shall call him... Mini-Measley

David Bofinger

That does it: no more chocolate for you

Cap'n Krunch

Just get him off my ship by the next episode.

Maria Spano

Yeah? And I'm really French with a head full of hair!!!

Gregory Griffiths

I hope you ensure that he doesn't turn into another Measly.

Gregory Griffiths

I suppose you're going to want me to give him a position on the bridge soon?

Gregory Griffiths

I know that Sevspace does wierd things, but this is ridiculous!

NightbatŪ .../\y/\

Oh, how nice......Security to deck 4, we have a second Measly-threat

NightAngel

That's just what we need around here...ANOTHER kid who's too big for his britches.

NightbatŪ .../\y/\

Oh great, when will he save the ship?... one month from now???

NightbatŪ .../\y/\

If he turnes out to be as usefull as you I'll blow it out of the airlock!!!

Cap'n Krunch

What kind of formula are you feeding that kid?

Capt'n Krunch

What, no beard?

Mike

Good lord, woman! Support the neck! Support the neck!

Liana

Just keep it out of my hair... so to speak.

Liana

Computer ! Level 4 containment field!

Alejandro Lee

Better get crackin' on those photo albums.

Alejandro Lee

Who isn't time traveling these days?

Alejandro Lee

The last alien baby I saw ended up killing 5 crewmembers in 24 hours...

Alejandro Lee

Is he at least young enough NOT to be annoying?

Alejandro Lee

Raise the boy right or we'll be taking orders from him next week!

Alejandro Lee

SOMEone's always time-traveling 'round here.

Alejandro Lee

No father, hmm? Well, every legend has a beginning...

Alejandro Lee

How does "sub-acting ensign" sound, kid?

GoldenH

Argh! First, we have a guy who gets younger every second, now we have a guy who gets older every second! When does the hurting stop???

chris

Right... next you'll tell me he came out of nowhere!

redshirt ensign noname

so THIS is how we get all those redshirts...

redshirt ensign noname

time to sign him up for duty

Artimus

You do realize what I think of children, right?

Artimus

If that's a child, I want it off my ship.

evay

Great. He'll be singing "Frere Jacques" in the turbolift with me next episode.

evay

That'll teach you to conceive next to the warp drive!

evay

Good! At this rate, he'll be an adult before I have to get to know him.

Pikachu of Borg

He looks like Measly...Ahh. They're multiplying!

Mark

Large, healthy baby. Hmph! Call me back when you have a real emergency.

Mark

I told you. No pets allowed!

Mark

Darn aliens taking over human bodies. The rules are for you to register with the Severation first! Now, get out before I throw you in the brig!

Mark

You might try slowing down on the mother's milk.

Iva

well, i guess i should be gratefull. after all, the faster they grow up, the faster they can get off this tub.

davehole central

this is getting old fast...

JL Foust

What a cute little... oh I've never been good at lying! Your child has five o'clock shadow, Tryhard!

Aubrey

Bring me back when he's grown up, say, in a couple of days.

Standback

You were pregnant for, what, fifteen minutes?

Aubrey

It's a good thing Sev Trek kids grow up quickly; once they're grown up I can stand to be around them!

BC

We're in the sev universe, expect inconsistancies.

Cyber-Garfield

Heavily Cruncher must be experimenting with the vitamins again

John Lang

It don't look weak or old to me.

PeteMan

He's growing faster than my bald spot!

PeteMan

Next week, he'll be beating up Measely for his lunch money...

PeteMan

Get him a uniform - he's laready more useful on the bridge than you are.

PeteMan

Well, you sure got back in shape pretty quick!

Dacron

That's nothing - a Happycampa would have gone on his first date by now!

Dacron

Boy, you miss one staff meeting...

Dacron

And he's still in diapers? Slacker!!

mort

Don't tell me someone dug out project genesis

mort

I hope this is just another holodeck plot.

Theodore Moser

I hope you can get over him by the next episode.

Kris

Yeah, right. How long have you and Willing been hiding him?

Kris

When did we become a soap opea?

Kris

This is why I don't want children on the Enterforaprize.

The Crazy Zonie

He is definately NOT getting bridge priviledges!

John Lang

Holy genetic engineering!

Francis Miranda

What did you feed him? Dilithium crystals?

The Crazy Zonie

After we get rid of Measily, you DARE to bring another kid onboard?

btb

Nonsense. Now get Weasley out of that diaper and off my ship!

Rich DiTullio

Looks more like a weak, old plot device.

mgeoffrey

I don't like it. Too much hair.

John Lang

Computer...diapers...cloth...extra-extra large!

=/\= CHAR =/\=

You call that a baby?

Quantum

Hmm.. a little on the over-nourished side, I see

009

And I'm a weak old man, but you don't hear my mother boasting.

009

The Doctor told you not to smoke during pregnancy

The Great Wizzard

Awww! How Cute! NOW GET IT OFF MY SHIP!!!!!

Frank

A second Measly, eh?

Bill

Maybe you better lay off breast-feeding.

Bill

Let me guess, he's from Ork.

ScottE Bemeup

What amazes me is how you've retained your girlish figure.

Michael

Its by my order. I hate kids, so they must grow up as fast as possible.

ScottE Bemeup

I've got a bad feeling about this. No, wait, wrong franchise.

ScottE Bemeup

That's just like you. Always rushing into things.

ScottE Bemeup

Put him in a red shirt. He's going on the next away mission.

ScottE Bemeup

I order you to cease the Miracle Grow supplements.

ScottE Bemeup

Kids today are more mature than we were at their age.

ScottE Bemeup

Have him potty trained by this afternoon. That's an odor!

Mouse - jeffries tube 32

Oh well..... at this rate he'll be as old as me by tea-time!!

8 of 12

Well what did you expect? I myself am only two weeks old!

joerg

You better knit a Red Shirt for him.

Mouse - jeffries tube 32

Don't tell me the casting director is off sick again!!!!

Michael Shaw

Yeah right, and I was born yesterday

8 of 12

What did I tell you about the happycampers?

joerg

No, this is Measly hoping for a breast-feed.

Mouse - jeffries tube 32

Never have sex during a temporal anomaly!!!

joerg

And next week he will be already bald and become Captain.

Mouse - jeffries tube 32

I knew jumping to warp while you were in labour was a bad idea!!

Mouse - jeffries tube 32

Stop feeding him fertilizer!!

Corsair

Great! Now we'll have a telepathic Measley....

Mouse - jeffries tube 32

You have to stop bringing your relatives to work!!

Mouse - jeffries tube 32

Well don't be expecting any maternity leave this time!!

Mouse - jeffries tube 32

This isn't a two parter , is it?

Klau'HaQ

I thought I said : "Not more than 1 Measly Cruncher on this ship! "

Klau'HaQ

Will he be staying for the whole season?

Klau'HaQ

Perfect ! In a month he'll be old enough to get off the ship!

Klau'HaQ

Well I am NOT babysitting!

Mouse - jeffries tube 32

He better not piddle on my carpet!!!

Matt McLaughlin

Great!!! A relief helm officer for Measley.

Jor (the Wizard of Sha-ka-ree)

Oh great. Turbo Brat.

Mouse - jeffries tube 32

Quick...get him a red shirt!!

Sweeney Todd

and this is a weak script!

Sweeney Todd

I better prepare my birds and bees talk for him before this afternoon!

Sweeney Todd

That's alright- so's this season and we have a new chief engineer and a new chief medical officer and a new beard!

Sweeney Todd

That's pretty weak Counsellor. Try harder next time!

Mouse - jeffries tube 32

OK........we'd better organise his retirement party!!!!!

wolf

What for Hell did you feed him? Warped Plasma?

Claudia

Yeah, right! And I'm just hitting puberty.

Jonny

fine just dont educate him until he's about 30, I dont wash another Cruncher on board, (ugh)

The Great Wizzard

I have a bad feeling about this [TM].

Vixen of Borg

At this rate we'll ahve a Measly replacement by the end of the episode

The Great Wizzard

First Measley now that! Can't we have a normal baby on this ship?

danny

Just keep him off the bridge

Chris Hatt

Transporter Room? Quick, Beam this baby off the ship before it bursts the hull!

Tim

Dammit, even week old babies have more hair than me!

The Great Wizzard

I know this is supposed to be Science-Fiction but this time the writers have gone too far!

mort@ aachalon.de

And I thought measly was annoying

The Great Wizzard

Season Premier and already the first plothole

Joona Palaste

The sooner he outgrows Measly, the better!

JC

I knew Sev Trek children grew up quick but this is ridiculous!

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