|Sev Trek: The Comic Strip|
Deep Sev Nine's mission. This is the third in our series of "mission comic strips", already covering Jurassic Trek and The X Generation (I'm planning to use these strips as the introduction to each section in the second Sev Trek book. :-)
|These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition.|
This week's winning punchline was written by Ilta. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions.
To pair off the main cast members in just seven seasons.
Oh, come on! That mission stuff is SOOO last century!
To charge entrance and exit fees to the Gamma Quadrant
To not get sued by J. Michael Straczynski.
To design one big plug for the worm-hole
....to lay in a course, 000 mark 000, warp 0.....Engage!
....the quest for the perfect catch phrase.
To blow up that blasted Sevlyon 5!
Užž ferryboat (~┐~)
To be the first žev Trek soap opera
...for new life and civilizations to seek US out
...to get Odour a better nose!
...to let a tailor and a doctor get involved in grand politics.
To be the last, best hope for WAR!
The Chia Rhino
To spin! Wheee!!!
...to turn a full circle before the series ends!
To wait 6 years for Odour and Tequilla to finally hit it off..
to confuse people by giveing Barf back to the Enterforaprise every time they have a movie
to succeed in doing what no other Sev spinoff has done, absolutely nothing.
to get the heck off this tub!
to rock the quadrant!
spacespud the bored
To achieve warp none
20 of 1
To find Barf a mate that doesn't end up murdered.
To spin like no other spin-off has spun before!
To aviod that comet that flies by every episode!
To get the crap kicked out of us every week.
to be completely useless in guarding the wormhole
To warn off aliens (if you look at us from the top, we are a biohazard sign).
To last 7 years without destruction at the hands of the Carsalesmen, the Bjorn, the Klingoffs, the Domino, the Wrongulans, the Gem'Hoarder, the Flounders, the Vortex and the Trubbles.
is to boost ratings with war!
to be the least mobile Sev series yet
To find new and fascinating uses for tooth sharpeners.
to wait endlessly for the plot to arrive.
err, um. If you any suggestions please leave them after the tone
to act as a gas station and mini-mart for all starships.....
to drive the sev trek franchise into the ground
To collect the toll for the wormhole!
to find Benny Russel and ask him if he wants to write another season
Oh screw it , lets just have music instead.
To stop John putting these damn Sev Symbols on all his strips!
to monitor neutrino levels...
To seek out anything within a ten kilometer radius.
To capture an abandoned station for no particular reason, then to make it orbit a planet and guard a big blue hole, then to start a war with the people on the other side, then to be continued!
To boldly sit here and wait for somebody.
To make being a bureaucrat, bartender, or shopkeeper seem like an exciting career choice.
to use as few sets as possible
to have as many semi-regular characters as possible
To have the first Captain that is voluntarily bald.
To remain as still as possible
To boldly go nowhere fast!
... to be the first spinoff that spins.
to sit here whilst strange stuff finds us
to look at a bunch of stuff thats always been here
To convince people we have NOTHING to do with that Sevylon show.
To sit here week after week doing the same ol' same ol'
To explore stange new sections of Bajor, to let new life and new civilizations come to us, to boldly stay put as no one has stayed put before!
8 of 12
A mission? Oh please! Lets not complicate matters!
To be the most famous space station in TWO quadrants
To Blow things up, get more ratings and care nothing for storyline!!!
... to figure out just what our damned mission is!
To explore strange new marketing schemes, to seek out new networks and new TV-audiences, to boldly rate like no show has rated before.
...to use the idea of Sevylon 5 and steal their viewers...
To find out just how many variations on the lumpy forehead there are.
To find plots that don't require actual space travel.
To find out why a station only a week from Earth is called "Deep Space" Nine.
To sit here in a station that oddly, is shaped like a target.
To maintain the peace...by finding a wormhole that ultimately results in a costly war.
To be permanently nicknamed, "The middle child of Trek."
To squeeze every last drop out of this franchise.
To see how many times fans say, "But they don't GO nowhere."
To see how many Trek shows we can put out before the franchise implodes.
To find out why we don't get our own ship until season 3.
To get out from under NextGen's shadow.
To find this planet we're supposed to be orbiting...
.. Malfunction Junction ..!
to sit and twiddle our thumbs while everyone else gets to hop around the galaxy in their nice starships
To be retaken again, and again, and...
To watch over the vast nothingness of frontier space!
To provide a place of commerce, where humans and aliens can come togother to work out their differencies...Oops, wrong show.
To be a space port-o-potty.
To uphold the PC Directive by never going anywhere.
To show why starships are exciting.
To destroy every govenment we come into contact with.
To inspire Sevlon 5...Our last, best hope for victory!
To make new life and new civilization come to us!
To fight rust!!!!
To sit here, do nothing, and make Voyager look bad
The Chia Rhino
To romantically tangle as many of the characters as possible
To umm... sit in one place and hope that... well... something happens?
To explore strange new decks... To seek out new life in the upper cargo bay...
To have the most drawn out war in sev trek history
To rotate, very slowly.
Namgubed the Merry Elf
To be the galaxy's biggest sitting duck.
Uh, sir..uh, they decided to just go with a comet and some woosh noises instead of an intro.
To let new life seek us out
Is to sit here and send our teeny little ship to explore and fight for us.
... To spin like no station has spun before.
to seek out new nerds and fans with addiction.
to lure the viewers to sleep so that they do not see the inherent plot holes in our story.
to start a war in order to boost our ratings.
To be the first sev-trek show without a catchable phrases!
To reintroduce Trubbles to our eco-system!
To find Odour's home planet... Ah, done... to make peace between the Bjorn and the Carsalesmen... Ah, done... To make me a Captain... Ah, done... To Travel to a parralrl universe and to the past... Ah, done... To hear Mourn speak... Yea, this is our mission!!!
to find new ways of boring viewers.
To find where we parked the Defuct... Damn these Clocking devices!
To keep viewers from switching to Sevylon 5.
To boldly wait for someone to come knock at her door.
To live vicariously through the defiant.
To work our way up to feature films
To have a bald captain by season three
To steal as many of the TNG cast as possible.
To continue the tradition of bald captains.
To whup Dukat's butt!
To have the most conflict and longest story arcs of any Sev Trek incarnation!
To be interesting while not going anywhere.
To start a war with every major race of th galaxy!
To destroy the Rio Grand!
=/\= Char =/\=
To Sit here and look like a Christmas tree decoration!
To float aimlessly through space.
Careful Captain, if you give us a mission people might expect us to do something.
..doesn't really matter. Trekkies will watch anything with SevTrek in it.
Captain! would you please change the answering machine message!
Uh..well..Maybe the Defunct has a mission.
...to bug the purists!
...to rehash characters from other series and boost merchandise sales
mouse - Jeffries tube 32
To shout at and bully every alien in the quadrant!!
To meet as many Dux hosts as possible within 7 years.
To boldly sit and spin in space
... is to keep the score Sevylon 5- Deep Sev 9
... to find a reason for morphing effects.
To make up for the lack of character development in all the other series!
To create another deep space franchise!
The Great Wizzard
to sit around bored until something happens.
The Great Wizzard
to be seeked out by new life and new civilisations.
The Great Wizzard
to exploit starnge new viewers
...our last, best hope for peace... oh, no, that was B5... Do we have a mission, people?!
To boldly stay where noone has wanted to stay before.
8 of 12
We're something of a doorstop for the wormhole.
8 of 12
What does that word say? Cannon fodder?
...To bore the galaxy...
...um... cue swooshy runabout...
To "inherit" Barf from the X-Generation and boost our ratings.
To sit here on our derriers and watch the wormhole do its thing.
To give Sevfleet ulcers by provoking a war with the Dominion.
To give a tax break to a major motion picture company !
To compete for Sevylon 5's ratings!
The Great Wizzard
to be the first spin-off that starts before the predecessor finished.
The Great Wizzard
To be Rick Berman's first attempt to create a long-term plot.
To go for missions on the Defunct, just for kicks.
to find the bathroom once and for all
To give people another Sev show to watch...
To become the biggest shopping mall in the alfalfa quadrant!
Mr Schidzo, you're not having those visions again are you? Time for your medication I think.....
To seek out familiar life and civilizations, to explore strange new plot holes, to blandly go where everyone has gone before.
To boldly stay where no one has stayed before!
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