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This week's idea was suggested by Christopher.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

Squatty the miracle worker! Here is another "reverse competition" - the punchline was written and the Sevilians had to write Quirk's statement that lead to the punchline!

Other Punchlines


These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition. This week's winning punchline was written by Shlamko. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions.

Namgubed the Merry Elf

Squatty, let's make a really good odd-numbered movie.


Spock says "fascinating", Bones says "dammit Gym"... what's that thing you always say?

Bob Clemmons

Squatty, can you do something to get Buns to quit saying "Dammit Gym, I'm a Doctor!"?


Squatty, I want to be able to act, write and direct


You better not say anything about the laws of physics, mister


Squatty! Give me five, man!

8 of 12

Squatty, we need to find some way to stop rehashing the same old punchlines every cometition!


I need help, Squatty. My chest has fallen down to my stomach!


Squatty, we need top ratings in 30 minutes, or we're all dead.


Squatty fit seat belts on the bridge chairs


I need the laws of physics changed.

Noel Cowell

Squatty, find a way to keep red shirt ensigns alive for more than one episode.

Jared K

Squatty, I need to fit into size 34 pants


Make me able to commit to a long term relationship


Squatty, design a bug free transporter


Squatty, Beam me down with a little less weight round the middle

Shaun Harris

Squatty, say something original.

Doug Schairer

Squatty, make it so we don't fly around the bridge when the ship gets hit.


Squatty, can you make real hair grow from my head?

Ensign No-Name

Scotty, can you give me a personality

James Wells

Scotty, I need you to stop my sagging waistline!


Squatty, I need the implausible translator to filter out all our catch phrases.


For once Squatty, I want to go on a mission and have everything work fine.


Squatty, make me thin again!


Squatty...make me...speak at...a normal...rate!


Squatty, you sound like a broken record! You keep saying the exact same thing!


Squatty, we must find a way to keep our red shirts alive longer.

Chris Walker

Do me a favour, Squatty. Stop all those poor Ensigns being killed in every episode.

Rhett Jackson

We need to come up with some new lines.


Squatty, can we increase the structural integrity of my uniform

Rhett Jackson

I want you to eliminate the pauses in my monologue!


Squatty, build me a computer I can't talk to death.


say, how about designing a red shirt that doesn't kill ensigns?


Squatty, make me look ruggedly handsome.

The irrepressible Zordauch

I want to stay thin and hunky forever


Squatty,I want you to make a computer that won't destroy itself when I talk to it.


Squatty, find me a redshirt that will survive next weeks episode


Squatty, I need bulging pecs for the torn shirt scene next week.

8 of 12

Squatty, I really think it's time you said an original line.


So, about showing us the Full Montgomery, eh?


I... want... my........... dramatic.... pauses...... fixed.


Squatty, find me a redshirt who can live though an episode

Matt Kowalski

Squatty, please stay sober on duty!


Squatty, I need a realistic toupe.


Squatty, design a toupee that won't fall off in a fight.

James L. Terman

Squatty, we need to make the yoeman's skirts shorter.


Scotty, help me get these skin tight pants off.

James L. Terman

Squatty, I need a computer that won't blow up on me.


Squatty, is there a way to use the transploder to give me more hair and a less of a gut?

Erik Hollender

Squatty, can you get us a bigger budget?

Erik Hollender

Squatty, can you make our ship look less 60s?


Can you build me a room that's bigger on the inside then it is on the outside?


Scotty I want to grow my own hair


Squatty, make Spook laugh!


Squatty, beam some REAL hair into my scalp!

ScottE Bemeup

Promise me we'll never get old and flabby.

John Lang

Squatty, make me a hairpiece that looks real!

Christina "Saavik" Tilman

McCourduroy is putting you on a strict diet; see that you stick to it!

Namgubed the Merry Elf

Squatty, we need to turn back the clock so my hairline stays put.

Namgubed the Merry Elf

Squatty, make our five-year mission last only three years!


Squatty, find us a good plot, with no holes at all!


Why can't you fix all the plot holes?


Squatty, Can you... build some...thing...that...will..speed


Squatty, help me keep from gaining weight


My thin, thicker.

Living Paradox

I want my uniform to last this week


Squatty, reverse this hair loss and weight gain!


Squatty, I want to have a true love for more than one episode.

ScottE Bemeup

I want you to add a "disrobe" setting to my Fizzer.


Squatty, create a device that will keep my hairline from receeding, my waist from expanding, and my speech...from...pausing...un...controll...ably


Squatty, we've... GOT to stop my... ever... expanding EGO!

Lord Fledrinnian

Squatty, I need you to help me with my acting skills.

Lord Fledrinnian

Sqautty, replicate me a shirt that is tear resistant!


Squatty - stay fit and trim.


Corsair me...a...toupee?


So it's agreed. You'll get Buns and Spook to be friends.


Squatty, that physics line is getting old, how about trying "Yes sir, Captin sir." Think you could do that?


Squatty, I see you've taking double rations in the mess. I think you should cut down.


Squatty, can you make me a shirt that doesn't rip while I fight?


Squatty. Make the gravitational constant of my waistline slightly smaller


Squatty, try to stop our redshirts dying


Squatty, say something besides that catch phrase of yours.

Johnny Cool

Squatty, Reverse to polarity of my increasing waist

Johnny Cool

Squatty, Reverse to polarity of my Balding Head


Squatty, can you beam up my Redshirts ALIVE?

The Great Wizzard

Squatty, replicate me a shirt that doesn't rip!

Joona Palaste

Squatty... slow the ship down... so that my lines... can catch up... with it...

John Lang

Squatty, help me make Star Trek Five a better movie!

The Great Wizzard

Squatty, can you prevent a Redshirt from getting killed?


Squatty, change the artificial gravity so I'll be light again.


Squatty, beam me up with a better hair.


Squatty... you need... to change... your accent...

The A

Squatty do me a favor and lose some weight.


Squatty, I believe you're strating to add some weight...

The Crazy Zonie

Next time... you... transplodder me,... fix... the hairline!


Squatty, build me a girdle that'll keep me slim!

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