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This idea was suggested by Francis Miranda.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

Why Cuss dumped Kneelicks. This is one of those questions skillfully avoided by the show - one episode they were together, all of a sudden she'd dumped him! Although maybe the real question should be why she stayed with him so long!


Other Punchlines

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These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition. This week's winning punchline was written by gurglesplat. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions.


Trace

The Doctor finally cured me of that "bad taste in men" virus.

Hobbes

Shall I start with the "A"s?

Gray

It wasn't you, it was me. Oh wait, it was you.

Mouse - Jeffries tube 32

You never read ME bedtime stories!!

footie

'Cause I'm the one going through puberty, and YOU'RE the one with spots.

Harley Cat

We're light years from Happycampa, you've served your purpose.


I got my sense of smell back!

gurglesplat

It was lug at first sight.

valerie parv

On your family tree, you're the sap

chris

I turn into a gas. You just have gas.

Irya Dax

It's simple, Kneelicks. I've evolved... better taste in men.

Mouse - Jeffries tube 32

I don't write this crap Buddy!!

Postie

One word : fleas

Matty D

I evolved my eyesight and sense of smell back!

Rebecca Dax

With feet like yours I'm surprised I stayed with you for so long

T

I've got six years left in me, and I ain't spending it with you, sonny!

stargoddess

Being transformed into a warlord helps gets your priorites straight.

stargoddess

I finally can play with toys meant for ages three and up

stargoddess

You left the toilet seat up again.

craig

new hair, new boyfriend.

craig

your sub-atomic particles just don't do it for me anymore.

craig

short, fat, balding, spotty, hairy, obnoxious, unwashed...

1LT Harrison

We've been dating for two years. By my race's standards, we've already grown old together.

Kira Mae

I guess it was when I stopped putting my contacts in backwards.

Shargeinka

It's just time to move on. And I want all my things back. Including my lung.

Big me

I am ending it before i have to do a kissing scene.

Tarcher 1

That older man thing was just a phase

Lt. Lana

I figured since I'm soon going to morph into a being a pure energy I might as well tie up all my loose ends.

Suzie Q

Let's face it, who wants to kiss a hedgehog?

David Esquivel

Get over it Kneelicks..I'm evolving beyond mortal limits soon anyway

Captain

I'm non-corporeal. You're an obstinate, inflexible idiot. We just don't click.

Iona

A sentient blob of goo in the lab has shown an interest

1Zeus

Y'know what? It's not you, it's...aw, heck..It is you.

Cyber-Garfield

Lets face it, you aren't evolving as fast as me

Self Promotion

It's not that you disgust me, it's uhhh... hmmm...

Jared K

Please tell me you're kidding

Ben John

I think it's your cooking.

Muffy

New hair. new attitude.

lizzyc

You were dealing with a minor, bub.

Miriam

I evolve, you DE-EVOLVE.

Stranger

Let's think about this: I'm blonde slim and pretty, you are short fat and furry!!

Phil "RealmMan" Capps

I'm telepathic, not catatonic.

Brian

You made me an unhappycampa!

Ilta

With a lifespan of 9 years, I can't afford to waste a day with you!

Maddog

The pathos became grating

Shlamko

Because you didn't have the guts to kill yourself!

G.B.A

You make it sound like it was a BAD thing?

G.B.A

You're an ugly stupid toad. Happy?

G.B.A

Don't. I think I hurt you enough.

Shlamko

Even the Bored rejected you!

Samurai Penguin

Because I'm evolving to a higher life form, you moron.

Mouse - Jeffries tube 32

Happycampa females become Bored easily!!

Alicat

Because you're ugly. That's it. There, I said it.

chris_h

Oh, Kneelicks, people grow and change, and I... Who am I kidding? YOU'RE A LOSER!!!

Mouse - Jeffries tube 32

Just lucky I guess!!

Mouse - Jeffries tube 32

It's called character devlopment dummy!!

Mouse - Jeffries tube 32

You were CRIMPING my style!!

Kerryn Finger

You didn't go with my new hairstyle

PeteMan

The smell. That horrible, horrible smell.

John Lang

Ummm. That wasn't the real me! Yeah! It was...someone from a parallel universe! Yeah! That's it!

David Dorward

I'm am very grateful for you rescuing me, but you have really, really bad body odour.

Zelani

I found someone cuter - a turnip.

mgeoffrey

You got a mirror?

mgeoffrey

I saw your work on 'Benson'

KaC

Exsqueeze me? When was I ever going out with you?

Jocelyn

With you out of the way, I can evolve!

8 of 12

I gave you the best year of my life, what else did you want?

evay

It's the Terrible Twos!

T'Rowa

Where shall I start?

evay

Look, I know "Warlord" wasn't a high-rated episode but I expected YOU to watch it!

T'Rowa

Because you are a sad, strange little man.

evay

I'm exercising the escape clause in my contract.

Mark

Have you given serious thought to what our children would look like?

worf

I can't turn you off like the doctor!

worf

I want to date someone else for the last half of my lifetime.

ShaneS

I dreamed about our children... and woke up screaming.

ShaneS

Being referred to as "Sweetness" by a man who cooks Leola rooot stew just struck me as wrong.

Zax

I'm almost 3 and you treat me like a child!!!

Dacron

I know that you and Ten have been exchanging nanites!

Ianna

You haven't turned into a prince.

REN

Bad jokes, bad feet, bad cooking.....you figure it out

=/\= Char =/\=

Because you look like a ground hog!

V. Equinox

I want to be with a character who actually has a purpose on the show.

Corsair

Strange, everyone else asks "What took you so long?".

Corsair

I'm three, and reaching my mid-life Crisis!

jdwiseman

The overwhelming amount of fan requests.

jdwiseman

First give me my lung back.

jdwiseman

This may be sci-fi, but our relationship was way beyond unrealistic.

Buckwheat

Perhaps it has something to do with these new contacts...

RobRoy

What we had was nice, but I've evolved past it.

RobRoy

You have to ask?

Namgubed the Merry Elf

They say that breaking up is hard to do... they lied.

James L. Terman

My shift starts in 3 hours, I don't have time to list all the reasons.

Ben

New hair, new me, no you.

Gray

It'll take less time if I tell you my reasons not to.

CJ

We passed through a Temporal Anomoly, activating my dormant "Good Taste" gene.

Eggsome

Why didn't I dump you!

Kyle Bruck

Take a look in the mirror

The Great Wizzard

Mohawks are SO out!

ScottE Bemeup

You're the morale officer. I'm more interested in the immoral officer.

dundesh

where do i start? hmm... those icky head spots, no personality....

ScottE Bemeup

You fell out of the ugly tree, and hit every branch on the way down.

ScottE Bemeup

Even the EMH has more character than you.

ScottE Bemeup

With this new hairdo I know I can do better than you.

ScottE Bemeup

You're a minor character. My character's going places.

E-Nice

It's my first step towards leaving the show.

E-Nice

I realized I can do better.

E-Nice

I told you a million times to stop using my hairbrush.

E-Nice

Next to the Kraze-on you were good looking. Next to these humans you gross me out.

E-Nice

Just look at you. You're gross.

Cookie

You borrowed my lung and never gave it back

Cookie and H

Cause you still haven't seen the doc about that terrible skin rash

cookie

I'm having a mid life crisis,.... that and I just realised how bad you're cooking is!

The Great Wizzard

For once a Trek character does something logical and whaddaya have? Complaints, still complaints, yadda, yadda...

Francis Miranda

Being on this ship made me realize...theres a galaxy of good looking men out there!

Francis Miranda

You're old enough to be my great great great great great great grandfather,'

Francis Miranda

Breaking up was easy. Forgetting we were even an item is what's hard.

Francis Miranda

According to Star Trek physics if we continue this relationship, one of us will eventually die!

Francis Miranda

I had to. The writers were already planning to kill me off.

Francis Miranda

Have you seen your feet?

Francis Miranda

In some planets, dating a two year old is equivalent to statutory rape!

Shaun Harris

I'm going to evolve, but you're the missing link!

joerg

Do you remember when you were 3 years old and still a tadpole?

Mara Amaya Jade

Your clothing was causing me serious retimal damage.

Mara Amaya Jade

Because the holographic Doctor is more man than you'll ever be.

joerg

Have you ever eaten one of your dishes yourself?

joerg

Did I told you our race is blind for the first two life-years?

Shlamko (note that Measly is more than 20,000 LY away, so it's true)

I've searched through 20,000 light years, and as annoying as you nobody gets.

Shlamko

How can I say it nicely... Youre ugly!

Shlamko

You're so childish!

Shlamko

I grew out of you!

The Great Wizzard

You criticised my new hairstyle.

Shlamko

My lung rejected you.

PeteMan

It was the quickest way off this tub!

PeteMan

Wouldn't you if you were me?

PeteMan

I evolved into a higher being of pure energy. Plus, you smell.

Shlamko

Do you want the shortlist or will I bring you the book later?

Shlamko

You're lack in suicide success proved me that you're not the guy for me after all.

Shlamko

I found out you're using my hair appliences!

Shlamko

I've realized you won't turn into a prince after all.

JC

I'm still trying to figure out why I was with you in the first place!

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