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This week's idea was suggested by Francis Miranda.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

Cleanshaven Commander Piker. No, this isn't first season X-Gen but from their latest movie where Commander Piker shows off his clean shaven chin to Beta.

Other Punchlines


These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition.

This week's winning punchline was written by V. Equinox. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions.


Please do not insult my posterior. Sir.

Namgubed the Merry Elf

Ooh, and just as pinchable!


Try sanding next time

the cheekster

Yes, but with more limited acting capabilities.


Looking at my schematics again eh Commander!?


This is soooo first-season...


Commander! You're losing hair! Are you getting promoted?

kai johnson

Imitating me again, sir?


Sir, my behind is a fully functional USB port.


No, and I'll thank you not to test that theory.


Once I go in for my monthly wax and buff I'll have you beat.

ScottE Bemeup

Not even close, stubble-head.

Alicia Warren.

Your right. You even the small, thin, iritating copper wires that stick out of it.


Gaudy told you? That's the last time I ever let him do a tune up.


I believe this situation falls under my "Don't ask, don't tell" protocol sir.

8 of 12

That would have to be the 4000 series...


Yeah - but i don't walk around with it in public!

Adam De Rosa

Feels more like the captain's scalp.


And just as shiny


Yes sir, but I don't think counselour Tryhard would like that image stuck in her head.


With all due respect, Sir, byte me.

Brian Kendall

I should have never mooned you.


Then my suspicions about Lal and yourself were justified


No, my behind doesn't have this many razor cuts.


You SAW the time I was being anally upgraded?!


Do you require me to run a controlled scientific analysis or will a simple "nah" suffice?

Nintendo Guru

I disagree, commander. Please feel free to compare.


I asked you never to talk of that incident in public

Mr Skull de Wit

And just as expressive

Melina Ellis

I amm afraid not commander as I do not think the texture of your lower mandible surpasses the polished titanium which is my posterior.


I now understand why the crew say you have verbal diarrhoea


Commander, are you saying you talk out of your backside?


Smooth, maybe...but just as ugly


Except I do not put makeup on my "behind".


I cannot even feel the rivets!


it is a good thing that you do not have a cleft chin, commander.


so that was you in the holodeck!

Phil the Mighty Warrior

Yes, and it won't short out in the shower.


Not as smooth as that smirk on your face. Sir.

Chris Johnson

I am disturbed that you know what an android's behind feels like, actually.

Petréa Mitchell

Actually, we're quite hairy back there.

Namgubed the Merry Elf

Their coefficients of dynamic friction are in close proximity.


Not quite, would you like to feel my posterior for reference?


Would this be the origin of the term 'butthead'?

CDR Soen

Yes, which makes me wonder what goes on every time I get turned off around here!

Harry McNally

I hate to tell you, Commander, but my bottom is covered with serial ports.

=/\= Char =/\=

Did you replicate a androids behind and put it on your face?


You're l ucky my emotion chip was deactivated for this movie!

Darth Binks

Commander, let me initialize my emotion chip so I can give you a proper response with the back of my hand


I see your acne problem has finally cleared.

True . . . but how did you know?

Jeffrey Contompasis

I never should have taken shore leave with you on Riser.

Ares, God of War

Piker, I doubt you could attain that level of smoothnes if you used a phaser.

Ares, God of War

I see no purpose to your partially offending metaphor.

Mouse - Jeffries tube 32

And twice as ugly!!!

Mouse - Jeffries tube 32

The producer says he'll still have to pay Tryhard extra to sit in a bath with you!!!


I can neither confirm or deny the existence of smoothness on my posterior.


As featurless as this film is destined to be.

Mouse - Jeffries tube 32

I haven't seen a complexion like that since Measley was on board!!


But android bottoms do not have zits Sir.


Have you been looking in the little androids' room?


Yes, but my behind has stayed the same since season one.

Eddie Williams

One with a rash maybe.

Mouse - Jeffries tube 32

You always have to bring up Season 2's wrap party!!

Mouse - Jeffries tube 32

Yes.... My butt hasn't seen the light of day for years either!!

Mouse - Jeffries tube 32

Another close shave for the Enterforaprize!!

John fallon

So, it was YOUR hand I felt in the turbolift yesterday !


If you are referring to the delivery of that line or your direction of this movie... I must say No to both, sir!


Not quite sir, it's made of flesh, not perspex.


Yuk... Have you ever touched one?!

The Great Wizzard

I need a level 3 diagnostic to be absolutely sure, but it'll come out "Nah"

The Great Wizzard

Perhaps See-Creepio's but definitely not mine!


I had no idea that you had an urge to emulate my ass, sir.


Just how much do you know about androids' behinds, sir?


An excellent facsimile in many respects, Sir.


And the visual approximation is similarly accurate. Sir.


That is the last time I tell you where my emergency shutdown switch is.


and very similar in appearance too I might add


But Cmdr. we don't have stubble on our bottoms.


I must remember to sand myself more often.


And twice as flabby, sir!


Yes, but I wasn't aware the texture of my posterior was public knowledge.

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