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Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

Bald captains. This is a subject we've touched on in earlier strips but have never tackled head on (pardon the pun) until now. The idea was actually developed during a comic workshop I ran at the FSF Presents Nog Convention.


Other Punchlines

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These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition.

This week's winning punchline was written by Riff. In an unprecedented occasion, the IRC judges were unable to choose ANY of the finalist punchlines - cutting them all. Some called for a new set of finalist punchlines. However, since you are unable to choose a winner, I have chosen a winner for you. Think of it like political elections - generally, all the candidates suck but you have to pick the least worst. By not voting for a winner, you relinquish your chance to choose. In short, nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah! You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions.


BW

Would you rather gain weight or be bald?

Mouse - Jeffries tube 32

It's in the Perm Directive!!

Muffy

Maybe it's the special shampoo they give you when you get promoted.

Mark

The ones with hair make admiral.

The Vulcan Assasin

You have not learned the captains motto "Infinite diversity receding hairlines"

CastorW

That's why you can't never be one of us, hairy boy.

Beeka

We choose to be bald. I had more chicks than you, Skitzo has Kassidy, Quirk had the Alfalfa Quadrant, need I say more!

Sic Fi Girl

Beats Me? Must have something to do with all those women running their fingers through our hair.

Pamela T.

Gainweight didn't and look where it got her!

Snipes

I can't speak for the others, but i used to pull something besides my shirt.

Chimerasame

Tell me again, which one of us gets more women?

Shay Nulman

We lost our hair to Janeway in a poker game

Krysanthemum

To compensate for your hair, fuzz-face.

The Cheese Grater

Speak for yourself, Chewie.

Gregory Griffiths

Easy for you to say, fuzzyface!

Catie Bormann

I don't know but the hairline must be drawn here!

Sashimi

Well, it sure beats buns!

Lt. Brad Gentry

Find out for yourself. Get a ship.

ShaneS

Only the men Piker, only the men..

Bob Clemmons

Every episode is a close shave.

Bob Clemmons

It's specified in the Minoxidal Peace treaty.

jdwiseman

It's a quirk of the job.

Kevin Shaw

Are you going to accept the command or not?

q_e4

Don't change the subject; to the charge of flying the Enterforaprise E with a joystick, how to you plead?

q_e4

How come you get hairier every episode?

q_e4

Resistance is futile, Number One. Your hair will adapt to service Gainweight

mgeoffrey

WHAT!?! Gainweight is going BALD!?!

Brian

It's that or wear your hair in a bun!

Daria

Our hair goes into female captains' wigs!

Brian Kendall

When I lose my eyebrows, I'll be an admiral.

Jor

You two hold him down - I'll get the razor

Quip

Just don't pass out at YOUR promotion party...

neilinoz

Grass doesn't grow on a busy street number one!

Thessa

The extra pip costs more than just good looks!

E Foeth

Hair doesn't grow on brains

ScottE Bemeup

The women like it smoother than Beta's butt.

ScottE Bemeup

The glare gives us an edge in combat.

Wade S.

Let's put it this way, you'll never go bald.

T`Kar

I can see someone has missed seeing fleet barbers in a while.

T`Kar

Too many hair raising episodes.

Ford Prefect

Piker, I think it's time for me to tell you about where tribbles REALLY come from.

mjd

Initiation ceremonies.

mjd

It's the only character development we get to have.

happyDubo

If my memory serves me, you're coming up for promotion soon...

Melisssa

Damn time paradoxes!

Varath

It makes us aerodyamic.

PsychoPat

Not all captains! there is one other... she stands alone... in the shade... of her own hair... hair...

Riff

Junior officers rub our heads for luck.

Riff

It keeps upstarts like you afraid of taking command!

Riff

It makes us easier to draw

PeteMan

You're passing up another command, aren't you?

Petrea Mitchell

Why do our first officers keep getting hairier?

Samurai Penguin

We are NOT bald - we're folically impaired.

Muffy

It's called shaving. Try it sometime.

Muffy

So that's why Gainweight uses gel packs for her hair.

Robin

Why? Are you having second thoughts about becoming a captain?

Foeth

It's the second directive: To baldly go

Tasha

Some gain hair; we just gain weight.

8 of 12

We misread the 'boldly going' part.

PeteMan

Gainweight's our last, best hope for hair.

Rambling J

Least Schidzo had a choice.

evay

Didn't you read the contract you signed at the beginning of the first season?

The Great Wizzard

Is that the reason why you rejected all your offered captaincies?

Harry Hazeel

Piker, you don't have a high enough security clearence to know that.

Powerlord

Unlike Captain Gainweight, WE don't have a hair care budget!

Nintendo Guru

The producers are following a demographic.

Nintendo Guru

It's a curse. Stay as first officer if you want your hair.

Erik Hollender

Don't know. But I now know why you haven't accepted your own ship!

lizzyc

The Admirals love it when they can see themselves in your head

Brian Kendall

It has to do with the command hairarchy.

CDR Soen

Don't laugh--It'll happen to you!

Brian Kendall

Just because. Now take your promotion.

Cyndeetrek

"So we can baldly go where no man has gone before!"

Muffy

Gainweight makes up for our baldness

lindzee

Bald? What was that, ENSIGN Riker?

JC

It's from all the stress of dealing with first officers like YOU!

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