|Sev Trek: The Comic Strip|
The death of Dux (Jazzsinger, to be precise) Well, out here in Australia, I finally got to see the Dax death episode (and you know what that means, Ezri Dax coming soon...). Has anyone noticed that Worf doesn't exactly have a good track record with women?
|These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition.|
This week's winning punchline was written by PeteMan. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions.
Geez, none of the others talked so much!
The irrepressible Zordauch
It's hard to maintain a scowl when you're seeing someone.
Not in front of the bald guy!!
It's cheaper than divorce court!
So I can go out with even a cuter women.
It's *my* sash! Mine!
I plead the fifth.
Unnar Frišrik Siguršsson
They always mock the pony tail
Klingoff divorce lawyers are very efficient.
Sidney the Multi-Colored Armadillo
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a DORN.
I'm saving them up for the Klingon afterlife
They all asked for pay raises.
Cause my wife always finds out about them.
I get paid by the roar
I'm a love 'em and grieve 'em guy
I am from the House of Morgue...I mean...Mogue...
That was "Kaplagh", not "Ker-plop!"
You should see what happens to the women who refuse me!
You know, Alexander's mom asked the same thing.
Force of habit.
Klingoffs do not do long term relationships.
I'm not saying anything until I've talked to my lawyer.
With my personality, you'd think they would leave before it got that far.
Three Words.."Klingoff Morning Breath"
I'm a poor character without my Klingoff Angst.
The audience just LOVES the death roar!
I prefer to look at the bright side, have you seen the new Dux?
I told you to remember signing next season's contract!
Two Words, Honey: Life-Insurance
I'll kill you for this insult!
That hasn't been proven!
Why do you think I have become a "Great Worrier!"
Sorry, but no woman beats me at the bat'leth and gets away with it!
Captain Leita Chandra T'Por
Well, she didn't have a contract and you didn't sign yours.
Captain Leita Chandra T'Por
I guess I just don't know my strength...::macho laugh::
Ever since I got stuck with Alexander I started playing it safe
I hate to see a woman on the rebound.
The writers can't figure out how to transfer them to a different ship.
The Velcrons got "Live long and prosper" but we got stuck with "Today is a good day to die."
20 of 1
Well you're the one who wanted to work on a different show.
The Lone Ensign
You've experienced our mating rituals, you figure it out!
Hey, any excuse for a good howl
Dating psycopathic neanderthals is not conducive to long term relationships.
Doing a show and movies has its price!
It showcases my screaming talents.
It keeps my perpetual bad mood going.
As Careless once said, "Lucky at carnage, unlucky at love!"
Your point being?
The writers know I can only do two emotions: anger and grief.
I'm a Starfleet officer. Dead romantic interests are part of the job.
Hell hath no fury like a Tryhard scorned.
It's not my fault Klingoff tradition calls for a RED wedding dress.
In hindsight, the traditional klingoff headbutt may not be the best way for me to show affection for my mate.
I'm hoping that when I get to StoveO'Porrige, I'll have a harem.
They know to much about me, too much for their own good.
Blah, blah, blah. What's the quickest way to the Enterforaprize? I gotta date with Tryhard.
Whenever they think they have a future with me they demand a higher salary and the producers give them the axe.
Tryhard is VERY jealous.
I refuse to answer that without a lawyer present.
Nevermind that! Where's Dux? I'm hungry!
Who knows, as long as the chicks keep pouring in!
Because I am Barf, son of Morgue...
If you were any other woman I would kill you where you lie!
Barf, what's with that sash? Barf, what are you doing on the Enterforaprize? Barf, why do you keep killing your girlfriends? Will it ever end?!?!
Maybe I should give them a red roses instead of red shirts next time.
They'd rather die than spend another minute with me.
Maybe I should start to clean my teeth...
None of them wanted to do a bedroom scene with me.
Doyawanna really know?
The Black Falcon
Women are fatally attracted to me!
The Black Falcon
Hey, it's the only character development I get!
Klingoff marriage counselors advice
It's how Klingoffs break up
Avenger First Officer
It's the only way to get them to stop nagging.
Avenger First Officer
It's the easy way for me to get more SCREAM time.
So I can move on to the next spinoff...
I lost my thrill on Deep Space Hill!
Women are dying to go out with me!
Flatulence. Really, REALLY bad flatulence.
Don't blame me. You're the one who wanted out.
My head ridges are sharper than they look
I bore easily.
I don't like loose ends!
The writers wanted more pathos so I volunteered you
My bad breath/body odor combination is lethal!
Klingoffs require "sturdy" partners!
I need at least a dozen mates with me in Store-My-Soul!
Mouse - Jeffries tube 32
'cos I'm drop dead gorgeous!
I sleep with my batleth
SevFleet Rule #12: No senior officer can have a life. All relationships must be ended by death or disaster before 2 years.
Shut up and die already.
Dunno, but it didn't work with Doyawanna
Because Klingoffs DO NOT live happily ever after!
Klingoffs do not leave witnesses.
It probably has something to do with the bullseye I keep pining to their backs!
RROAAA....Oh, you're still alive.
One kid is enough, thank you.
1999 & Counting
I was hoping you hadn't noticed.
It cuts down on the cast members we need to keep track of.
I have solved the problem of encountering old flames.
I keep forgetting to file down my fangs.
All except the one who really deserves it.
It's either them or me...and I just never get a good day to die.
Perhaps I need to get that infection treated.
I thought being a lady-killer was a compliment!
It must be my breath.
Like I said, non-Klingon females are...fragile.
I'm still playing the field
Just lucky, I guess
That's what the police want to know!
I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
My forehead is too sharp.
I have a fear of commitment.
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