|Sev Trek: The Comic Strip|
McCorduroy and transploders! Doctor McCorduroy has what would seem a paranoid fear of transploders. Considering all the carnage that transploders have caused over Trek history, can you blame him?
|These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition. Many thanks to Erwin for taking this week's judging session.|
This week's winning punchline was written by 009. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions.
Just make sure Quirk's shirt makes it down in one piece
You'd be afraid too if you saw the medical equiptment I have to work with!
Would you trust a machine made of cardboard, Christmas lights, and radio knobs?
I'm trusting my life to a low-budget effect!
Im in a scene. Gotta rant about something.
I like my molecules exactly where they are.
When I'm in one, I just go all to pieces.
For starters: transploders brought me aboard this tub.
Because I know engineers, they just love to rearange things!
I like my molecules shaken, not strirred
Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not an energy packet!
If I wanted myself blasted into tiny bits, I'd use a phaser, dammit!
Ever wonder why Spook is half human and half Velcron?
Disassembling and re-assembling people is MY job!
I heard that the writers were planning a freak transporter accident that would change me into a woman named Pavlovaski
I've done autopsies on victims of this thing, you know!
James L. Terman
Two words: beam rash
Just beam us down before Quirk starts his monoluge!
The only thing proven about the technology is its value as a plot device.
Go ask your evil twin.
Last time it left my heart in San Francisco!
It's just one more of my 'cranky' personality traits.
There are only three of us beaming down and I'm the most expendable character.
Let me toss you in a blender with Quirk and Spook and see what mutation emerges!
I see the consequences everyday in the sickbay!
I've seen the engineering budget.
it's not so much the transploding as it is the "counting of fingers and toes" afterwards
mostly because of the fact that before every transplode you tell me to "hang on to your molecyles"!
Why the hell not?
They make my hemorrhoids flare up!
They've never been fully tested on the elderly!
Because nobody EVER gets along with their clone.
The pattern buffers might mistake my personality for a disease.
You should know. You lost a finger using one of these.
Cause the person operating it is missing a finger!
I feel like I'm in a damn photocopier!
For three seconds my molecules mix with Quirk's.
Three words: Heisenburg's Uncertainty Principle.
Maybe I don't like my molecules being rearranged with knobs and switches!
'Cause all the ship's red shirts and all the ship's men can't put my atoms together again!
Ever since I rematerialised with Quirk's Logic and Spook's Libido.
You should see what these guys DO when dematerialised!
I just don't want my molecules scrambled with that green-blooded Velcron's!!
The writers felt that they needed a more exiting back story for me.
It's what's known as a character twist.
Haven't you heard of the expression, "Don't drink and beam?"
I'm afraid that i might be transformed into a horny green blooded captain.
Gym is afraid of commitment, Spook is afraid of emotions. I'm afraid of transploders.
Getting disintegrated to my base atoms is not my idea of fun.
I believe it's called Transploderphobia.
Listen carefully to what they're called again.
Dammit Mr Squat!...I'm a human, not a jigsaw-puzzle!
Oh, you HAD to say it...Now you've jinxed this episode!
Ever wonder why I can never wipe this grimace off my face?!
Transploders? Exploders, more like!
There's a drunk at the controls!
Gym had a few words with them earlier!
What if Gym tries to pinch me in mid-transplode?
I'm a doctor, not a therapist!
USS ferryboat (~J~)
I suppose it's not a problem since I'm a main character.
USS ferryboat (~J~)
The name might be an indication.
USS ferryboat (~J~)
I fear being mixed up with spock.
How would you like getting your molecules mixed up with Gym's?
Look at what transploders did to the guy beside me.
Would you rely on 50's technology???
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